In other news... (humorous news items)

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Angua » Mon Apr 15, 2019 6:45 pm UTC

Dog rescued by oil rig workers 220km from the coast.

How lucky was he that they noticed him!
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Angua » Tue Apr 16, 2019 5:28 pm UTC

Double posting for hilarity.

Judge called for jury duty on his own case. Contacted them to tell them he was the judge, got told he'd have to take his reason for not turning up to the 'resident judge', had to phone in to explain he was the resident judge.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-wiltshire-47952295
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby addams » Tue Apr 16, 2019 7:29 pm UTC

Angua wrote:Double posting for hilarity.

Judge called for jury duty on his own case. Contacted them to tell them he was the judge, got told he'd have to take his reason for not turning up to the 'resident judge', had to phone in to explain he was the resident judge.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-wiltshire-47952295
Yep.
That is worth a second post and a chuckle.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Soupspoon » Wed Apr 17, 2019 3:39 pm UTC

"Free as in beeriau!" (Welsh mix up over alcohol.)

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby jewish_scientist » Wed Apr 24, 2019 8:23 pm UTC

R.I. tries to crack unsolved murder, missing person cases with playing cards

I got really excited because thought it they were something like this, but actually they are just regular playing cards with the info for cases printed on each one. Still is a nice story.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby The Great Hippo » Thu May 16, 2019 8:54 pm UTC

Ted Cruz Says Space Force is Necessary to Prevent Space Pirates
“Since the ancient Greeks first put to sea, nations have recognized the necessity of naval forces and maintaining a superior capability to protect waterborne travel and commerce from bad actors,” Cruz, the chairman of the subcommittee on aviation and space, said at a hearing Tuesday.

“Pirates threaten the open seas, and the same is possible in space. In this same way, I believe we too must now recognize the necessity of a Space Force to defend the nation and to protect space commerce and civil space exploration,” Cruz said.
No, this is not an Onion article. Yes, these are direct quotes. And yes, Ted Cruz is both an American Senator and a Rhodes' scholar.

...

Space Pirates.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Dauric » Thu May 16, 2019 9:44 pm UTC



There are arguably valid reasons to have a military organization concerned with protecting assets in space (like GPS and communications satellites), the Russians have been deploying various forms of anti-satellite satellites (stuff like suicide drones designed to take out U.S. communication and navigation assets) since at least the 70's, and it's just gotten weirder since then (like recent reports of Chinese and Russian satellites designed to catch and de-orbit other satellites so they can be recovered and taken apart to analyze how they work under the guise of "de-orbiting space debris"). Whether this requires a special branch of the military to work on or ,as it is at present, works well enough as a sub-organization of the Air Force.. Like I said, it's arguable.

If you deconstruct what he said he's equating "seagoing pirates" to "state-operated anti-satellite devices", he doesn't actually say "Space Pirates". To be fair a number of those anti-satellite devices are probably aimed at commercial communications satellites, so threats to what amounts to "Civil space exploration" (or rather "...exploitation", but same difference) are a thing.

That said analogies between space and seagoing environments are tenuous at best (and I say this as a guy who has looked up naval ship classes to maintain 'authenticity' when running spacefaring Sci-Fi RPGs), and equating those "debris recovery" satellites with age-of-sail privateers does conjure some rather silly mental imagery.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby The Great Hippo » Thu May 16, 2019 10:33 pm UTC

He invokes pirates as a naval threat analogous to sovereign countries and their own particular space programs. Pirates are independent actors; without the backing and authority of a developed nation, it's all but laughable to imagine a hostile space program that's both functional and profitable. Who's going to expend the resources to launch weapons into space? He's not talking about piracy; he's talking about a navy you own to defend yourself against another country's navy.

I mean, I get it; he's talking about a militarized space race between well-funded government organizations (he could have just said that; "we're entering a new space race where military action is increasingly credible and feasible"). But instead, he's invoked piracy to render the programs of other countries illegitimate (their space programs are just independent "bad actors").

And don't we already have a space program? The idea that a "militarized" version is necessary to protect our satellites from enemy action strikes me as ridiculous. I mean, I'm no expert, but the problems of hostile action in space will likely require engineering solutions -- not military ones.

(Not to mention NASA already has significant overlap with the military to begin with!)

ETA: I mean! You could argue that military action might be necessary on the ground or air to obstruct hostile space programs, but that's something the regular military can do.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby CorruptUser » Thu May 16, 2019 11:14 pm UTC

How would you steal a satellite? Quite sure none were designed to survive reentry, at least not without a space shuttle like drone to contain them.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Coyne » Fri May 17, 2019 1:22 am UTC

CorruptUser wrote:How would you steal a satellite? Quite sure none were designed to survive reentry, at least not without a space shuttle like drone to contain them.

Hmmm... capture satellite has clam shells that open and close around the other satellite, internal space is filled with foam. Capture satellite is designed for reentry. Just sketching an idea. Pros: pretty much as few as for a space Navy. Cons: difficulty of catching of the satellite, expense, difficulty of reentry, wasting all that money when you could just get the info by espionage here on Earth.
In all fairness...

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Dauric » Fri May 17, 2019 1:58 am UTC

We're in the traffic-chopper over the XKCD boards where there's been a thread-derailment. A Liquified Godwin spill has evacuated threads in a fourty-post radius of the accident, Lolcats and TVTropes have broken free of their containers. It is believed that the Point has perished.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby sardia » Fri May 17, 2019 2:35 am UTC


It wouldn't be worth it unless the satellite had some really advanced technology, like the lens on spy satellites.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby ObsessoMom » Fri May 17, 2019 3:16 am UTC

The Great Hippo wrote:Ted Cruz is both an American Senator and a Rhodes' scholar.


He was never a Rhodes scholar. For gosh sakes, don't pad his résumé.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby commodorejohn » Fri May 17, 2019 3:53 am UTC

Ted Cruz is a wax dummy brought to life by a spiteful magician.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby The Great Hippo » Fri May 17, 2019 7:46 am UTC

ObsessoMom wrote:
The Great Hippo wrote:Ted Cruz is both an American Senator and a Rhodes' scholar.


He was never a Rhodes scholar. For gosh sakes, don't pad his résumé.
Wait, was I thinking of Bill Clinton?

...

I apparently was.

I have no idea how the hell I made that mistake.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby addams » Fri May 17, 2019 1:46 pm UTC

commodorejohn wrote:Ted Cruz is a wax dummy brought to life by a spiteful magician.
Or; Worse.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Sableagle » Fri May 17, 2019 6:45 pm UTC

The Great Hippo wrote:
ObsessoMom wrote:
The Great Hippo wrote:Ted Cruz is both an American Senator and a Rhodes' scholar.


He was never a Rhodes scholar. For gosh sakes, don't pad his résumé.
Wait, was I thinking of Bill Clinton?

...

I apparently was.

I have no idea how the hell I made that mistake.

Maybe similar young women made similar credible allegations against the two of them.
Oh, Willie McBride, it was all done in vain.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Grop » Mon May 27, 2019 9:06 pm UTC

On Sunday, a 95 yo woman was denied the right to vote (in EU elections) because she was believed to be dead since 2017. French article.

(Only posting this here because she apparently thought it was funny, and obviously one vote wouldn't make a big difference, this isn't a case of mass voters denial).

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby addams » Mon Jun 03, 2019 11:35 pm UTC

Tragic or Funny?
Sometimes it's a tough call.

I'm guessing Funny.
"All of those videos and pictures delighted the public,"
Musk has placed a lot of satellites up.
They march across the night sky obscuring everything else.

Here's one of the clips that delighted the public.
https://vimeo.com/338361997

The story from NPR:
https://www.npr.org/2019/06/03/72927520 ... n-the-view
Life is, just, an exchange of electrons; It is up to us to give it meaning.

We are all in The Gutter.
Some of us see The Gutter.
Some of us see The Stars.
by mr. Oscar Wilde.

Those that want to Know; Know.
Those that do not Know; Don't tell them.
They do terrible things to people that Tell Them.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby solune » Tue Jun 04, 2019 3:21 pm UTC

We should tell him that a Dyson sphere is around the sun, not around the earth

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby addams » Tue Jun 04, 2019 4:25 pm UTC

umm....Yes.
I guess the astronomers can use the orbiting telescope.

But...It had not occurred to me that the Kessler Syndrome might
not only physically confine us to Earth, it might also confine our visual exploration.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kessler_syndrome

In years to come the idea of seeing out past our orbiting junkyard might seem like a Fairy Tail.
On the other hand...Everything might turn out Just Fine for everyone.
Life is, just, an exchange of electrons; It is up to us to give it meaning.

We are all in The Gutter.
Some of us see The Gutter.
Some of us see The Stars.
by mr. Oscar Wilde.

Those that want to Know; Know.
Those that do not Know; Don't tell them.
They do terrible things to people that Tell Them.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby SuicideJunkie » Tue Jun 04, 2019 5:25 pm UTC

addams wrote:Here's one of the clips that delighted the public.
https://vimeo.com/338361997

That looks like morse code. "IEIIAAEIEEESSEITEATNDIIET" I think those satellites are not having a fun time.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby addams » Tue Jun 04, 2019 5:28 pm UTC

SuicideJunkie wrote:
addams wrote:Here's one of the clips that delighted the public.
https://vimeo.com/338361997

That looks like morse code. "IEIIAAEIEEESSEITEATNDIIET" I think those satellites are not having a fun time.
EAT-N-DIIET...?!
Oh, Dear....They are American.
Life is, just, an exchange of electrons; It is up to us to give it meaning.

We are all in The Gutter.
Some of us see The Gutter.
Some of us see The Stars.
by mr. Oscar Wilde.

Those that want to Know; Know.
Those that do not Know; Don't tell them.
They do terrible things to people that Tell Them.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Sableagle » Mon Jun 17, 2019 2:22 pm UTC

Oh, Willie McBride, it was all done in vain.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Mutex » Mon Jun 17, 2019 2:58 pm UTC

In case anyone is wondering what that's about, apparently the Pakistan government accidentally turned on a filter during a FB live.

https://indianexpress.com/article/trend ... NBbgnmVpYY


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