Good News, Bad News

Sableagle · Postby **Sableagle** » Wed May 25, 2016 3:39 pm UTC

Bad news: the sea monsters *like* you.

Neil_Boekend · Postby **Neil_Boekend** » Wed May 25, 2016 4:25 pm UTC

Good news: The sea monsters are very sexy

Queen Arasene · Postby **Queen Arasene** » Thu May 26, 2016 8:29 pm UTC

Bad news: the government does not take kindly to all the beach-goers being eaten by sea monsters.

heuristically_alone · Postby **heuristically_alone** » Thu May 26, 2016 8:35 pm UTC

Good News: Nobody cares what the government says.

Neil_Boekend · Postby **Neil_Boekend** » Fri May 27, 2016 9:42 am UTC

Bad news: that includes ignoring the laws against murder, theft and arson.

Queen Arasene · Postby **Queen Arasene** » Fri May 27, 2016 7:41 pm UTC

Good news: They do care about the unwritten rules prohibiting those.

heuristically_alone · Postby **heuristically_alone** » Sat May 28, 2016 6:22 am UTC

Bad news: you get a call saying you will be killed tomorrow

thunk · Postby **thunk** » Sat May 28, 2016 6:24 am UTC

Good news: The callers never follow up on their threats.

Queen Arasene · Postby **Queen Arasene** » Sat May 28, 2016 8:08 am UTC

Bad news: someone else does, and now you're dead! Again.

Sableagle · Postby **Sableagle** » Sat May 28, 2016 12:04 pm UTC

Good news: Louis lets you out of the next janitor's closet he finds, and you're right back to being just fine ... plus you have an Uzi and a Colt 1911 now.

flicky1991 · Postby **flicky1991** » Sat May 28, 2016 1:55 pm UTC

Bad news: you're bad with guns.

Queen Arasene · Postby **Queen Arasene** » Sat May 28, 2016 2:34 pm UTC

Good news: You don't need to be good with guns if your gun has a wide enough area of effect.

flicky1991 · Postby **flicky1991** » Sat May 28, 2016 2:34 pm UTC

Bad news: there are innocent people around.

bug sniper · Postby **bug sniper** » Sun May 29, 2016 4:12 pm UTC

Good news: the innocent people are all wearing bulletproof vests and helmets so you won't kill them if you make a mistake.

flicky1991 · Postby **flicky1991** » Sun May 29, 2016 4:12 pm UTC

Bad news: so are the ones you want to shoot.

Sableagle · Postby **Sableagle** » Sun May 29, 2016 4:33 pm UTC

Good news: Bonnie Parker is with you and is good at this ____!

Lazar · Postby **Lazar** » Sun May 29, 2016 6:01 pm UTC

Bad news: Tank!

Sableagle · Postby **Sableagle** » Sun May 29, 2016 6:06 pm UTC

Good news: He spawned inside the end-of-level safe room, the door was shut and he died of sheer Not Being Able To Be Near You.

Queen Arasene · Postby **Queen Arasene** » Sun May 29, 2016 8:34 pm UTC

Bad news: You died of the reverse of this.

Sableagle · Postby **Sableagle** » Sun May 29, 2016 9:07 pm UTC

Good news: Louis lets you out of the next janitor's closet he finds, and you're right back to being just fine ... plus you have an Uzi and a Colt 1911 now, and this time the tank's already dead.

Queen Arasene · Postby **Queen Arasene** » Mon May 30, 2016 6:06 am UTC

Bad news: Your Uzi and Colt 1911 don't work.

Neil_Boekend · Postby **Neil_Boekend** » Mon May 30, 2016 10:15 am UTC

Good news: your AK47 does.

matt96 · Postby **matt96** » Mon May 30, 2016 2:43 pm UTC

Bad News: More accurately it did, there now appears to be an obstruction somewhere between where the bullets go in and where they come out.

Neil_Boekend · Postby **Neil_Boekend** » Mon May 30, 2016 4:19 pm UTC

Good news: you can still wield it as a club.

bug sniper · Postby **bug sniper** » Mon May 30, 2016 11:56 pm UTC

Bad News: Your enemies all wield heavier chainguns and rocket launchers, which they are using as clubs to attack you.

matt96 · Postby **matt96** » Tue May 31, 2016 1:30 am UTC

Good News: Your enemies are not strong enough to effectively wield their heavier weapons.

Queen Arasene · Postby **Queen Arasene** » Tue May 31, 2016 7:03 am UTC

Bad news: They don't need to be effective with them to seriously hurt you.

Echo244 · Postby **Echo244** » Tue May 31, 2016 12:35 pm UTC

Good news: They just got slimed by a Boomer. You're free to run for it, and make it to the rescue vehicle with the rest of your group.

Neil_Boekend · Postby **Neil_Boekend** » Tue May 31, 2016 12:41 pm UTC

Bad news: you got bile in your eyes too.

Sableagle · Postby **Sableagle** » Tue May 31, 2016 4:21 pm UTC

Good news: another member of the team has done enough SG trips to get you to the vehicle without you being able to see.

heuristically_alone · Postby **heuristically_alone** » Wed Jun 01, 2016 5:46 am UTC

Bad News: you accidentally knocked that member out while you were blind

Neil_Boekend · Postby **Neil_Boekend** » Tue Jun 14, 2016 3:07 pm UTC

Good news: the bile is wearing off.

eran_rathan · Postby **eran_rathan** » Thu Jun 16, 2016 3:34 pm UTC

bad news: the smell isn't.

Queen Arasene · Postby **Queen Arasene** » Thu Jun 16, 2016 10:05 pm UTC

Good news: the smell isn't actually very bad. It's attracting the ladies!

Neil_Boekend · Postby **Neil_Boekend** » Fri Jun 17, 2016 7:53 am UTC

Bad news: you're gay and it's repelling the men.

SDK · Postby **SDK** » Fri Jun 17, 2016 1:49 pm UTC

Good news: There's a shower right over there.

Neil_Boekend · Postby **Neil_Boekend** » Fri Jun 17, 2016 2:00 pm UTC

Bad news: The stuff doesn't come off.

Queen Arasene · Postby **Queen Arasene** » Tue Jun 28, 2016 7:48 am UTC

Good news: With your clothes off, the gay men seem more interested again.

Neil_Boekend · Postby **Neil_Boekend** » Tue Jun 28, 2016 12:36 pm UTC

Bad news: The shower starts to spray fluoric acid instead of water.

eran_rathan · Postby **eran_rathan** » Tue Jun 28, 2016 1:08 pm UTC

Good news: you're all about that base. And by all about, I mean you're covered in lithium diisopropylamide.

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