Good News, Bad News

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Sableagle
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Sableagle » Wed May 25, 2016 3:39 pm UTC

Bad news: the sea monsters *like* you.
Oh, Willie McBride, it was all done in vain.

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Wed May 25, 2016 4:25 pm UTC

Good news: The sea monsters are very sexy
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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Queen Arasene
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Queen Arasene » Thu May 26, 2016 8:29 pm UTC

Bad news: the government does not take kindly to all the beach-goers being eaten by sea monsters.
It's Magic. I ain't gonna explain shit.

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heuristically_alone
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby heuristically_alone » Thu May 26, 2016 8:35 pm UTC

Good News: Nobody cares what the government says.
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You can learn to levitate with just a little help.

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Fri May 27, 2016 9:42 am UTC

Bad news: that includes ignoring the laws against murder, theft and arson.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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Queen Arasene
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Queen Arasene » Fri May 27, 2016 7:41 pm UTC

Good news: They do care about the unwritten rules prohibiting those.
It's Magic. I ain't gonna explain shit.

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heuristically_alone
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby heuristically_alone » Sat May 28, 2016 6:22 am UTC

Bad news: you get a call saying you will be killed tomorrow
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You can learn to levitate with just a little help.

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thunk
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby thunk » Sat May 28, 2016 6:24 am UTC

Good news: The callers never follow up on their threats.
Free markets, free movement, free plops
Blitz on, my friends Quantized, GnomeAnne, and iskinner!
troo dat

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Queen Arasene
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Queen Arasene » Sat May 28, 2016 8:08 am UTC

Bad news: someone else does, and now you're dead! Again.
It's Magic. I ain't gonna explain shit.

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Sableagle
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Sableagle » Sat May 28, 2016 12:04 pm UTC

Good news: Louis lets you out of the next janitor's closet he finds, and you're right back to being just fine ... plus you have an Uzi and a Colt 1911 now.
Oh, Willie McBride, it was all done in vain.

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flicky1991
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby flicky1991 » Sat May 28, 2016 1:55 pm UTC

Bad news: you're bad with guns.
any pronouns
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Queen Arasene
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Queen Arasene » Sat May 28, 2016 2:34 pm UTC

Good news: You don't need to be good with guns if your gun has a wide enough area of effect.
It's Magic. I ain't gonna explain shit.

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flicky1991
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby flicky1991 » Sat May 28, 2016 2:34 pm UTC

Bad news: there are innocent people around.
any pronouns
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bug sniper
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby bug sniper » Sun May 29, 2016 4:12 pm UTC

Good news: the innocent people are all wearing bulletproof vests and helmets so you won't kill them if you make a mistake.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

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flicky1991
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby flicky1991 » Sun May 29, 2016 4:12 pm UTC

Bad news: so are the ones you want to shoot.
any pronouns
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Sableagle
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Sableagle » Sun May 29, 2016 4:33 pm UTC

Good news: Bonnie Parker is with you and is good at this ____!
Oh, Willie McBride, it was all done in vain.

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Lazar
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Lazar » Sun May 29, 2016 6:01 pm UTC

Bad news: Tank!
Exit the vampires' castle.

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Sableagle
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Sableagle » Sun May 29, 2016 6:06 pm UTC

Good news: He spawned inside the end-of-level safe room, the door was shut and he died of sheer Not Being Able To Be Near You.
Oh, Willie McBride, it was all done in vain.

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Queen Arasene
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Queen Arasene » Sun May 29, 2016 8:34 pm UTC

Bad news: You died of the reverse of this.
It's Magic. I ain't gonna explain shit.

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Sableagle
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Sableagle » Sun May 29, 2016 9:07 pm UTC

Good news: Louis lets you out of the next janitor's closet he finds, and you're right back to being just fine ... plus you have an Uzi and a Colt 1911 now, and this time the tank's already dead.
Oh, Willie McBride, it was all done in vain.

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Queen Arasene
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Queen Arasene » Mon May 30, 2016 6:06 am UTC

Bad news: Your Uzi and Colt 1911 don't work.
It's Magic. I ain't gonna explain shit.

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Mon May 30, 2016 10:15 am UTC

Good news: your AK47 does.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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matt96
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby matt96 » Mon May 30, 2016 2:43 pm UTC

Bad News: More accurately it did, there now appears to be an obstruction somewhere between where the bullets go in and where they come out.

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Mon May 30, 2016 4:19 pm UTC

Good news: you can still wield it as a club.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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bug sniper
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby bug sniper » Mon May 30, 2016 11:56 pm UTC

Bad News: Your enemies all wield heavier chainguns and rocket launchers, which they are using as clubs to attack you.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

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matt96
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby matt96 » Tue May 31, 2016 1:30 am UTC

Good News: Your enemies are not strong enough to effectively wield their heavier weapons.

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Queen Arasene
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Queen Arasene » Tue May 31, 2016 7:03 am UTC

Bad news: They don't need to be effective with them to seriously hurt you.
It's Magic. I ain't gonna explain shit.

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Echo244
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Echo244 » Tue May 31, 2016 12:35 pm UTC

Good news: They just got slimed by a Boomer. You're free to run for it, and make it to the rescue vehicle with the rest of your group.
Unstoppable force of nature. That means she/her/hers.
Has committed an act of treason.

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Tue May 31, 2016 12:41 pm UTC

Bad news: you got bile in your eyes too.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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Sableagle
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Sableagle » Tue May 31, 2016 4:21 pm UTC

Good news: another member of the team has done enough SG trips to get you to the vehicle without you being able to see.
Oh, Willie McBride, it was all done in vain.

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heuristically_alone
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby heuristically_alone » Wed Jun 01, 2016 5:46 am UTC

Bad News: you accidentally knocked that member out while you were blind
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You can learn to levitate with just a little help.

:idea: = Surprised Cyclops

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Tue Jun 14, 2016 3:07 pm UTC

Good news: the bile is wearing off.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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eran_rathan
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby eran_rathan » Thu Jun 16, 2016 3:34 pm UTC

bad news: the smell isn't.
"Does this smell like chloroform to you?"
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
nɒʜƚɒɿ_nɒɿɘ

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Queen Arasene
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Queen Arasene » Thu Jun 16, 2016 10:05 pm UTC

Good news: the smell isn't actually very bad. It's attracting the ladies!
It's Magic. I ain't gonna explain shit.

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Fri Jun 17, 2016 7:53 am UTC

Bad news: you're gay and it's repelling the men.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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SDK
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby SDK » Fri Jun 17, 2016 1:49 pm UTC

Good news: There's a shower right over there.
The biggest number (63 quintillion googols in debt)

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Fri Jun 17, 2016 2:00 pm UTC

Bad news: The stuff doesn't come off.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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Queen Arasene
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Queen Arasene » Tue Jun 28, 2016 7:48 am UTC

Good news: With your clothes off, the gay men seem more interested again.
It's Magic. I ain't gonna explain shit.

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Tue Jun 28, 2016 12:36 pm UTC

Bad news: The shower starts to spray fluoric acid instead of water.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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eran_rathan
Mostly Wrong
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby eran_rathan » Tue Jun 28, 2016 1:08 pm UTC

Good news: you're all about that base. And by all about, I mean you're covered in lithium diisopropylamide.
"Does this smell like chloroform to you?"
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
nɒʜƚɒɿ_nɒɿɘ


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