Good News, Bad News

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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Tomlidich the second » Wed Apr 02, 2014 11:08 pm UTC

Bad news: It also makes you completely unable to understand most things due to the severity of the accent, but it also makes everything hilarious.
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Queen Arasene
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Queen Arasene » Sun Apr 06, 2014 8:52 am UTC

Good news: it makes everything hilarious.
It's Magic. I ain't gonna explain shit.

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voicedotter
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby voicedotter » Sun Apr 06, 2014 10:51 am UTC

bad news: they are laughing at you not with you

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bug sniper
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby bug sniper » Sun Apr 06, 2014 10:59 pm UTC

Good News: You're a comedian so you can profit off of all this laughter.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

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Bartimaeus
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Bartimaeus » Sun Apr 06, 2014 11:02 pm UTC

Bad News: Your agent gets 99% of what you make.

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bug sniper
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby bug sniper » Sun Apr 06, 2014 11:09 pm UTC

Good News: They've already paid you a subjectively large amount of money in advance.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

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Queen Arasene
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Queen Arasene » Tue Apr 08, 2014 11:57 am UTC

Bad news: It was a large amount of money in comparison to your usual, 5$/day pay, so it's still almost nothing. You're sad.
It's Magic. I ain't gonna explain shit.

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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Tomlidich the second » Wed Apr 09, 2014 4:36 pm UTC

Good news: A different agent thinks you are a class act, and wants to hire you for 10,000 dollars a day.
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bug sniper
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby bug sniper » Wed Apr 09, 2014 7:54 pm UTC

Bad News: He'll hire you to work in a special stage in Greenland.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

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Queen Arasene
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Queen Arasene » Thu Apr 10, 2014 7:17 am UTC

Good news: In this reality, Greenland is a really nice place.
It's Magic. I ain't gonna explain shit.

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patzer
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby patzer » Thu Apr 10, 2014 10:14 am UTC

Bad News: The part of Greenland you're performing in isn't.
If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family Anatidae on our hands. –Douglas Adams

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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Tomlidich the second » Thu Apr 10, 2014 10:28 pm UTC

Good news: this gig comes with private security.
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voicedotter
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby voicedotter » Fri Apr 11, 2014 10:48 am UTC

Bad news: they're not very good

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Queen Arasene
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Queen Arasene » Fri Apr 11, 2014 11:53 am UTC

Good news: You are.
It's Magic. I ain't gonna explain shit.

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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Tomlidich the second » Fri Apr 11, 2014 5:05 pm UTC

Bad news: You are unarmed.
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Queen Arasene
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Queen Arasene » Sat Apr 12, 2014 9:34 am UTC

Good news: Nobody's attacking you, so there is no need to be armed.
It's Magic. I ain't gonna explain shit.

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bug sniper
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby bug sniper » Sun Apr 13, 2014 3:28 am UTC

Bad News: The reason why Greenland is a nice place is that the whole world never came through with a solution to global warming. The gasoline companies have dominated politics and public opinion using lobbyists and "Don't worry" ads. Temperatures worldwide have risen by 30 degrees F in the last century, and almost half of the land mass has become desert.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Tomlidich the second » Mon Apr 14, 2014 4:03 pm UTC

Good news: The government forced the oil companies to fund a solution, which they found. a global cooling trend has begun, which will complete in 5 years.
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Yablo
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Yablo » Mon Apr 14, 2014 11:54 pm UTC

Bad news: You sold everything you owned, and maxed out your credit to invest in air conditioning research which will complete in 6 years.
If you like Call of Cthulhu and modern government conspiracy, check out my Delta Green thread.
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PeteP
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby PeteP » Mon Apr 14, 2014 11:59 pm UTC

Good news, the global cooling severely overshoots its goal and it turns out that your air conditioners suck at their intended task but are great heaters.

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KingTip
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby KingTip » Sat Apr 19, 2014 4:53 pm UTC

Bad New, scientists have discovered that your air conditioning "heaters" are producing toxic gasses!
I'm baaaaaaaaack! ( <- sort of ironic cause I left for a little bit, but I might be back...)

Look around you
Strex.
Look inside you
Strex.
Go to sleep
Strex.
Believe in a smiling god.

StrexCorp.
It is everything.


...

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patzer
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby patzer » Sun Apr 20, 2014 1:25 pm UTC

Good news: they're not very toxic. In fact, it would take over 1000 years of breathing them to kill you.
If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family Anatidae on our hands. –Douglas Adams

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KingTip
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby KingTip » Mon Apr 21, 2014 2:01 am UTC

bad news: With advancing technology your air conditioning heaters will become more and more toxic over the 1000 years, killing everyone quicker.
I'm baaaaaaaaack! ( <- sort of ironic cause I left for a little bit, but I might be back...)

Look around you
Strex.
Look inside you
Strex.
Go to sleep
Strex.
Believe in a smiling god.

StrexCorp.
It is everything.


...

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patzer
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby patzer » Mon Apr 21, 2014 3:07 pm UTC

Good news: the advancing technology also creates cheap air detoxifiers.
If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family Anatidae on our hands. –Douglas Adams

Rhombic
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Rhombic » Mon Apr 21, 2014 9:04 pm UTC

Bad News: Your cat likes to urinate in the detoxification devices rendering them useless and emitting harmful amines into the air.

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KingTip
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby KingTip » Mon Apr 21, 2014 10:48 pm UTC

Good news: With the advancing technology real cats that urinate are useless, while everyone is buying the new robo-cat that does not urinate!
I'm baaaaaaaaack! ( <- sort of ironic cause I left for a little bit, but I might be back...)

Look around you
Strex.
Look inside you
Strex.
Go to sleep
Strex.
Believe in a smiling god.

StrexCorp.
It is everything.


...

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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Tomlidich the second » Mon Apr 21, 2014 11:10 pm UTC

Bad news: the cats catch wind of this and step up their plan of world domination.
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patzer
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby patzer » Mon Apr 21, 2014 11:29 pm UTC

Good news: It's not a very good plan.
If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family Anatidae on our hands. –Douglas Adams

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KingTip
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby KingTip » Tue Apr 22, 2014 1:43 am UTC

Bad news: The Sentient Cats went on with their bad world domination plan, Killing all robot cats, and living cats too. Now dogs are urinating in the detoxication devices.
I'm baaaaaaaaack! ( <- sort of ironic cause I left for a little bit, but I might be back...)

Look around you
Strex.
Look inside you
Strex.
Go to sleep
Strex.
Believe in a smiling god.

StrexCorp.
It is everything.


...

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Queen Arasene
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Queen Arasene » Wed Apr 23, 2014 8:12 am UTC

Good news: You like dogs.
It's Magic. I ain't gonna explain shit.

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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Tomlidich the second » Wed Apr 23, 2014 4:29 pm UTC

Bad news: they don't like you.
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KingTip
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby KingTip » Wed Apr 23, 2014 11:17 pm UTC

Good news: Dog's urination does not affect the detoxification devices as much as cats urination did
I'm baaaaaaaaack! ( <- sort of ironic cause I left for a little bit, but I might be back...)

Look around you
Strex.
Look inside you
Strex.
Go to sleep
Strex.
Believe in a smiling god.

StrexCorp.
It is everything.


...

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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Tomlidich the second » Thu Apr 24, 2014 2:53 pm UTC

Bad news: it still smells horrible.
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Queen Arasene
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Queen Arasene » Fri Apr 25, 2014 6:32 am UTC

Good news: People get used to it.
It's Magic. I ain't gonna explain shit.

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KingTip
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby KingTip » Fri Apr 25, 2014 12:25 pm UTC

bad news: the smell of the dogs pee is advancing toxication in everyones body
I'm baaaaaaaaack! ( <- sort of ironic cause I left for a little bit, but I might be back...)

Look around you
Strex.
Look inside you
Strex.
Go to sleep
Strex.
Believe in a smiling god.

StrexCorp.
It is everything.


...

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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Tomlidich the second » Fri Apr 25, 2014 4:48 pm UTC

Good news: sanitation departments quickly correct the pee problem.
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bug sniper
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby bug sniper » Fri Apr 25, 2014 7:01 pm UTC

Bad news: Cities all over the world go bankrupt because they can't afford the expensive pensions they pay to the sanitation workers.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Tomlidich the second » Mon Apr 28, 2014 11:24 pm UTC

Good news: they found a way to make their profits back by selling the collected waste.
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forward4
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby forward4 » Tue Apr 29, 2014 2:53 am UTC

Bad news: The companies take advantage of the workers, causing all to go on strike or quit their jobs.
Minecraft and Mathematics; dragons and dinosaurs; raptors and rotational forces

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Yablo
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Yablo » Tue Apr 29, 2014 9:55 pm UTC

Good news: You're hired!
If you like Call of Cthulhu and modern government conspiracy, check out my Delta Green thread.
Please feel free to ask questions or leave comments.


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