In other news... (humorous news items)

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Iulus Cofield » Sat Jul 02, 2011 5:04 am UTC

the_bandersnatch wrote:
Iulus Cofield wrote:I also don't like multilane roundabouts, like, why would I ever want to be in the interior lanes?


Like, when you're turning right.

Or left, since I'm guessing you're US'ian and therefore drive on the wrong side of the road.

Here's a handy picture using some weird two-wheeled thingy as an example:

Image

(If you're from the US or any country that drives on the wrong side of the road, just imagine that image mirrored left-to-right. And if you're from Australia imagine it upside down).


I'm American, I drive on the right side of the road, and today I learned what is the deal with multilane roundabouts. Though I was really thinking of a three lane roundabout I went through once and all of the connecting roads were only two lanes. Maybe that was just preparing for the future?

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby SlyReaper » Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:20 pm UTC

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby johnny_7713 » Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:46 pm UTC



The perception of maths in that article is just... ugh,

BBC wrote:It is not clear what inspired Google to draw on obscure mathematics for its bids. However, Google co-founder Sergey Brin is widely acknowledged to be a maths prodigy and the bids may reveal his influence.


Because googling some obscure constants in an effort to make your bidding strategy more unpredictable can only be done by a maths prodigy right?

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Randomizer » Mon Jul 04, 2011 3:42 pm UTC

pi is obscure? What?
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby SlyReaper » Mon Jul 04, 2011 4:55 pm UTC

There was also mention of Brun's constant and Meissel-Mertens constant, which are a bit more obscure than pi.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Eseell » Mon Jul 04, 2011 6:21 pm UTC

"Math is hard work and it occupies your mind -- and it doesn't hurt to learn all you can of it, no matter what rank you are; everything of any importance is founded on mathematics." - Robert A. Heinlein

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby KnightExemplar » Mon Jul 04, 2011 7:21 pm UTC

The Chinese Military has finished creating a first-person shooter named "Glorious Mission".

http://pda.physorg.com/news/2011-06-chi ... -game.html
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby johnny_7713 » Mon Jul 04, 2011 8:58 pm UTC

KnightExemplar wrote:The Chinese Military has finished creating a first-person shooter named "Glorious Mission".

http://pda.physorg.com/news/2011-06-chi ... -game.html


That's like so 2002 :p

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby KnightExemplar » Tue Jul 05, 2011 5:04 am UTC

johnny_7713 wrote:
KnightExemplar wrote:The Chinese Military has finished creating a first-person shooter named "Glorious Mission".

http://pda.physorg.com/news/2011-06-chi ... -game.html


That's like so 2002 :p


I know! I wonder if "America's Army" can fight in "Glorious Mission" servers, lol.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby the_bandersnatch » Tue Jul 05, 2011 1:32 pm UTC

19-year-old woman tries to sneak partner out of prison in a suitcase: http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/jul/05/woman-husband-prison-suitcase
Police say a woman was caught trying to sneak her common-law-husband out of a Mexican prison in a suitcase following a conjugal visit.

A spokesman for police in the Caribbean state of Quintana Roo says staff at the prison in Chetumal noticed the woman seemed nervous and was pulling a black, wheeled suitcase that looked bulky.

Spokesman Gerardo Campos said on Monday that prison guards checked the bag of 19-year-old Maria del Mar Arjona and found inmate Juan Ramirez Tijerina curled up inside in the foetal position.

Ramirez is serving a 20-year sentence for a 2007 conviction for illegal weapons possession. Arjona was arrested and charges are pending.


Image


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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby AvatarIII » Tue Jul 05, 2011 1:55 pm UTC



damn, it doesn't say to how many decimal places the bid was, i'd like to think it went all the way to cents

also it annoys me that they didn't say "astronomical unit" anywhere in the article when nmentioning the distance between the earth and the sun, nor did they mention exactly how far that is, nor what Brun's constant and Meissel-Mertens constant actually were, god forbid they could actually teach news readers a bit of knowledge. :roll:

i also think it's funny that bidding against google, apple, microsoft and sony formed a consortium, so they literally goined forces with their natural enemies, i guess if they were to win, any tech that comes out of it would be windows, mac, xbox and ps3 compatible....

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby addams » Thu Jul 07, 2011 1:30 am UTC

Greyarcher wrote:I got a good laugh from a BBC article about Canada and the visiting royal folks.

I'm surprised someone used a phrase like "support for Crown rule" without being tongue in cheek. Ties to the monarchy are a practically irrelevant historical throwback. "Crown rule" indeed--there's nothing worthy of the name.

You win. This is funny stuff.
"And it's a very visible way that we are not American, and not being American is central to our identity. There are some who say the monarchy will survive longer in Canada than in Britain, and they might be right. William, King of Canada."

But once Kate and William have their way with us, I suspect Canada will be singing God Save the Queen.

Royals may be a nice. They seem nice. It is one way to be, "Not American". To be not American is central to their identity? How do I get some of that? Can't? Really? That is so funny. You must think it is funny, too. I wonder; Do you think it is funny for the same reasons that I think it is funny?

We need some good old fashioned Royals down here. The Royals that we have, suck. Palin and Trump? That is some creepy Royals. Sure; The Obama clan looks good. I like them.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Iulus Cofield » Thu Jul 07, 2011 1:40 am UTC

Eh, Emperor Norton is the only American royalty I like. We should formalize his position today and make him head of state. I'm sure he'll take care of the messes in congress =P

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby bentheimmigrant » Thu Jul 07, 2011 12:58 pm UTC

After the rash of zombie outbreaks across the country, Bristol is ready.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby podbaydoor » Fri Jul 08, 2011 7:42 pm UTC

Banana assaults gorilla.

The banana is now at large.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Magnanimous » Sat Jul 09, 2011 2:37 am UTC


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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby jakovasaur » Sat Jul 09, 2011 3:08 am UTC

Magnanimous wrote:Michele Bachmann promises to ban pornography.

Like... all of it.

It doesn't say that. It says that the signer promises "humane protection of women and the innocent fruit of conjugal intimacy - our next generation of American children - from human trafficking, sexual slavery, seduction into promiscuity, and all forms of pornography and prostitution." That isn't saying she will ban it, unless you think she has also vowed to legally ban "seduction into promiscuity".

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Iulus Cofield » Sat Jul 09, 2011 6:44 am UTC

It's a fair reading. If she doesn't intend to outlaw those two things then it doesn't follow that they're in the list with human trafficking, which no politician would motion towards not fulling outlawing.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Soralin » Sat Jul 09, 2011 10:12 am UTC

jakovasaur wrote:
Magnanimous wrote:Michele Bachmann promises to ban pornography.

Like... all of it.

It doesn't say that. It says that the signer promises "humane protection of women and the innocent fruit of conjugal intimacy - our next generation of American children - from human trafficking, sexual slavery, seduction into promiscuity, and all forms of pornography and prostitution." That isn't saying she will ban it, unless you think she has also vowed to legally ban "seduction into promiscuity".

I think she would do just that if given the opportunity. Glimpse into the depths of insanity: viewtopic.php?f=9&t=72536
Michele Bachmann signed a controversial pact Thursday that is anti-gay, anti-abortion, anti-pornography, and floats the curious notion that African American children were better off during slavery than they are under the Obama administration.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby adho » Sat Jul 09, 2011 1:46 pm UTC

http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/07/ ... 0Q20110703

Have you seen this? Not so much humorous so much as depressingly ironic. You have to feel for him.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Dauric » Sun Jul 10, 2011 12:06 pm UTC

adho wrote:http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/07/03/us-motorcycle-helmet-idUSTRE76220Q20110703

Have you seen this? Not so much humorous so much as depressingly ironic. You have to feel for him.


Reminds me of this 2005 Darwin Award.

And I don't particularly feel for either of 'em. I feel for the paramedics that have to scrape their carcasses off the road instead of being able to save their lives. I feel for the families that have lost loved ones. I don't feel bad for the morons who go out of their way to earn a Darwin.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby adho » Sun Jul 10, 2011 12:22 pm UTC

I have to say man, that's immensely callous. They are, on appearance, immensely stupid. Does that mean they deserved to die?

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Dauric » Sun Jul 10, 2011 12:58 pm UTC

adho wrote:I have to say man, that's immensely callous. They are, on appearance, immensely stupid. Does that mean they deserved to die?


Did the responding paramedics, to whom saving lives is such an important drive that they build their careers on it, deserve to peel them of the pavement and be pushed one more vision of a mutilated corpse towards burnout?

Did their families deserve to lose a loved one to that loved one's own willful ignorance?

The thing is the vast majority of "Immensely Stupid" in these cases isn't some irresistible brain chemistry thing, it's a willful choice to be ignorant. I have no sympathy for people who choose to be idiots. If they genuinely have difficulty processing information that's one thing, these incidents are by-in-large willful disregard of the evidence. There is no excuse for not knowing that using helmets saves lives, there is no excuse for not knowing that seat belts save lives. The guy in the 2005 DA specifically argued that he should have the right to take his life in his own hands by not using a seat belt, and that's exactly what he did. I have sympathy for the family that couldn't talk him out of it, but not for him since he -chose- to needlessly put his life at risk.

Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with skydivers or rock climbers that understand what they're doing and take the appropriate safety measures. I have sympathy for those who take appropriate precautions and despite those precautions disaster strikes. When they disable safeties, and especially when they say "I know the risks I'm taking", then I'm going to have to say that they knew what they were getting in to and that's the risk they willfully took.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Ulc » Sun Jul 10, 2011 2:45 pm UTC

adho wrote:I have to say man, that's immensely callous. They are, on appearance, immensely stupid. Does that mean they deserved to die?


Not deserving to die, and me feeling bad for them, are two entirely different things.

I have no sympathy for someone that dies because of his own willful stupidity. and this is really a case of that. The man *knew* that wearing a helmet was a safer choice - he choose to blatantly disregard that and claim that not taking basic safety measures was his right. Exercising that 'right' got him down with a bad case of dead. I can't feel bad for him for that, and the case was quite ironic. Doesn't mean that he deserved to die, but he certainly doesn't gain any sympathy from me, so the only feeling that this case gets from me is a faint appreciation of how ironic life is.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Greyarcher » Sun Jul 10, 2011 5:48 pm UTC

adho wrote:I have to say man, that's immensely callous. They are, on appearance, immensely stupid. Does that mean they deserved to die?
Immensely callous? Nah. There's a humor to ironic events and to stupidity and foolishness. People also tend to have decreasing negative emotional response to events the further removed they are. Then there are factors that reduce sympathy like the others mentioned. And desensitization.

I mean, what's the rough estimate for crude global death rate? It's some incredible number. But obviously people don't go around feeling badly all the time just because someone's dying somewhere. It's not callousness. It's just tons of little factors in an emotional balancing act. With the Darwin awards, for some people, the scale tips more toward "humorous" than "saddening".
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby adho » Mon Jul 11, 2011 12:57 am UTC

Ulc wrote:Not deserving to die, and me feeling bad for them, are two entirely different things.

I should have explained myself better. It would be hard to say he did deserve to die, but he did. In my case, I feel a sympathy to a life lost that shouldn't have been. It doesn't matter (to me) what the circumstance was, I suppose I feel for a life not lived.

Dauric wrote:he -chose- to needlessly put his life at risk.

Therein lies the rub. I pity him, while you might not, for being without the reason faculties you and I take for granted, and being hugely unlucky. It's a subjective thing.

Greyarcher wrote:I mean, what's the rough estimate for crude global death rate? It's some incredible number.

I'm still waiting for the headline - 10% More Death Projected In the Next 10 Years
"Did you know more and more people die, every day?!"

Forgive me if this makes little sense, I may or may not still be drunk.

In other news...
http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/muscle ... 6091863115
What...the fuck.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Felstaff » Mon Jul 11, 2011 8:27 pm UTC

Poor owl!

In a scene reminiscent of Fred Flinstone barging through his front door, leaving a caveman-shaped hole, an owl flew face-first into a window, leaving a near-perfect imprint of its entire body. IT'S HILARIOUS YET TRAGIC?! (it's possible the owl escaped serious injury or death)

Spoiler:
Image
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby RetSpline » Tue Jul 12, 2011 2:16 pm UTC

Meh, birds fly into the windows of my house like all the damn time. At worst they're stunned for a few seconds then just fly off again. The weird thing is that our windows are not at all clean.

Re: Roundabouts: Aren't they kind of already in America? I mean, they're not exactly commonplace, but I know of two off the top of my head that I've had to drive on. Hell, there's one right outside the local DMV, which I find hilarious. What I find more problematic than roundabouts are 5 point intersections. Hate those damn thing

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Zamfir » Tue Jul 12, 2011 2:19 pm UTC

RetSpline wrote:Meh, birds fly into the windows of my house like all the damn time.

But do they leave prints like that?

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby RetSpline » Tue Jul 12, 2011 2:33 pm UTC

Well, no, that's a good point. I don't really see how it would leave a print like that, unless it was really dusty, or something?

Or it was a ghost owl. Obviously.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Dauric » Tue Jul 12, 2011 2:34 pm UTC

RetSpline wrote:Well, no, that's a good point. I don't really see how it would leave a print like that, unless it was really dusty, or something?

Or it was a ghost owl. Obviously.


Bad case of Dandruff.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Adacore » Tue Jul 12, 2011 2:50 pm UTC

The article mentions that it's because of the powder down on the owl (which, I guess, is exactly what it sounds like). I thought it looked implausible, but the BBC seems to be citing reputable experts saying it's legit.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Decker » Tue Jul 12, 2011 2:52 pm UTC

I like to imagine that the owl stuck to the window for about two seconds before slowly sliding down the glass with a squeaky sound.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby jcsalomon » Wed Jul 13, 2011 3:40 am UTC

adho wrote:I have to say man, that's immensely callous. They are, on appearance, immensely stupid. Does that mean they deserved to die?
There’s a Lazarus Long quote about stupidity carrying the death penalty that’s apropos.
Greyarcher wrote:I mean, what's the rough estimate for crude global death rate? It's some incredible number.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Adacore » Wed Jul 13, 2011 3:52 am UTC

I did not know "aggravated mayhem" was a genuine offence. It sounds like something the Joker would be brought up on.

(TIL: The etymology of the word 'mayhem')

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Technical Ben » Wed Jul 13, 2011 8:14 am UTC

Felstaff wrote:Poor owl!

In a scene reminiscent of Fred Flinstone barging through his front door, leaving a caveman-shaped hole, an owl flew face-first into a window, leaving a near-perfect imprint of its entire body. IT'S HILARIOUS YET TRAGIC?! (it's possible the owl escaped serious injury or death)

Spoiler:
Image


I see this quite often around here, but from pigeons. :/
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Vash » Wed Jul 13, 2011 9:31 am UTC

RetSpline wrote:Meh, birds fly into the windows of my house like all the damn time. At worst they're stunned for a few seconds then just fly off again. The weird thing is that our windows are not at all clean.

Re: Roundabouts: Aren't they kind of already in America? I mean, they're not exactly commonplace, but I know of two off the top of my head that I've had to drive on. Hell, there's one right outside the local DMV, which I find hilarious. What I find more problematic than roundabouts are 5 point intersections. Hate those damn thing


Birds will understand windows eventually (maybe). It's evolution (perhaps).

Dauric wrote:Reminds me of this 2005 Darwin Award.


On a related note to what I was saying, that's why we have the Darwin awards. It's not necessarily raw stupidity, but risk-taking behavior. At a certain extreme it is by definition much more likely to get weeded out. It's sad for a lot of the people involved, but that's life. I also don't know if I could criticize that risk-taking behavior. It might not make any difference. I had a friend who died at 18 standing at the side of the road next to some of his other friends' street-racing. He always took a lot of risks. I guess it's good for people to have influences to not do it as much, though.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Iulus Cofield » Wed Jul 13, 2011 7:30 pm UTC

You can now add peaceful, harmless manatees to the list of things the Tea Party wants to kill

Edit: This Onion article perfectly caricatures this quote from the article:

"We cannot elevate nature above people," explained Edna Mattos, 63, leader of the Citrus County Tea Party Patriots, in an interview. "That's against the Bible and the Bill of Rights."

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby addams » Wed Jul 13, 2011 9:45 pm UTC

viewtopic.php?f=9&t=72632

That seems to belong here. It is funnier than the Manatee story.

That is a sad story. There are alligators in that area. I can not help but wonder; (?).
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

Postby Greyarcher » Wed Jul 13, 2011 10:31 pm UTC

Pastafarian allowed to wear "religious headgear" for driver's license photo. His religious headgear: a sieve.

Well done, Niko. Well done.

Edit: Aw shoot, ninja'd in another thread, and by a link to that thread too!
In serious discussion, I usually strive to post with clarity, thoroughness, and precision so that others will not misunderstand; I strive for dispassion and an open mind, the better to avoid error.


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