Mom Murders Child Over Crying While She Played Farmville

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Mom Murders Child Over Crying While She Played Farmville

Postby punkymonkey » Sat Oct 30, 2010 8:41 pm UTC

http://news.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474978643856

I searched the forum and did not find this discussed. I think this story is absolutely horrible.
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Re: Mom Murders Child Over Crying While She Played Farmville

Postby Elvish Pillager » Sat Oct 30, 2010 8:47 pm UTC

See? All the problems in our society are caused by violent video games, like FarmVille.
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Re: Mom Murders Child Over Crying While She Played Farmville

Postby Princess Marzipan » Sat Oct 30, 2010 9:23 pm UTC

Elvish Pillager wrote:See? All the problems in our society are caused by violent video games, like FarmVille.
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Re: Mom Murders Child Over Crying While She Played Farmville

Postby Cynical Idealist » Sat Oct 30, 2010 9:28 pm UTC

Elvish Pillager wrote:See? All the problems in our society are caused by violent video games, like FarmVille.

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Elvish Pillager wrote:See? All the problems in our society are caused by violent video games, like FarmVille.

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Re: Mom Murders Child Over Crying While She Played Farmville

Postby SlyReaper » Sat Oct 30, 2010 10:26 pm UTC

Article put through the bullshit filter:

A Florida mother shook her baby to death because it cried and she couldn't hack it any more. She happened to be using Facebook at the time, so we'll make out like there was somehow a causal connection between Facebook/Farmville and murdering babies. Because technology is bad.
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Re: Mom Murders Child Over Crying While She Played Farmville

Postby poxic » Sat Oct 30, 2010 10:42 pm UTC

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Re: Mom Murders Child Over Crying While She Played Farmville

Postby Princess Marzipan » Sun Oct 31, 2010 6:22 am UTC

I actually went and READ that article, and it seriously reads like a fourth grader's book report, if the fourth grader had a sliiightly better than average vocabulary.

I'm pretty sure most shaken baby syndrome deaths are the result of the parent becoming overpoweringly frustrated that the child won't be silent. It just so happens the parent in this instance was relaxing at a computer, rather than watching TV, cooking dinner, talking on the phone, or trying to sleep.
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Re: Mom Murders Child Over Crying While She Played Farmville

Postby Jplus » Sun Oct 31, 2010 12:47 pm UTC

I'm not a parent, so any parents please don't feel offended by what I'm going to say and just tell me if you think I'm wrong.

I have been told, during my course in advanced behavioural biology (which, admittedly, isn't a course in raising children), that human baby crying is an honest signal. This means that babies cry only if they really need attention. The study that produced this conclusion also observed that babies tend to cry significantly less when their caretakers are apt to directly give attention when the baby starts to cry.

From an evolutionary point of view, this makes sense: babies that cry always and only if they need attention are favoured by selection, because they attract attention when they need it and save their energy otherwise (since crying actually takes a lot of energy for babies). Parents that highly dislike baby crying will be more apt to react as soon as the baby starts crying, thereby improving their own fitness because they increase the likelihood that their child will grow strong and healthy.

Now I don't want to rule out the possibility that exceptional babies exist that cry more than necessary, but I think that a lot of baby crying would not happen if the caretakers would simply react faster and more often to the cries. I've seen all too often that parents are totally exhausted and frustrated by the crying of their baby, but instead of doing something about it try to ignore it and get even more frustrated...

Primary source: J. Alcock 2005, Animal Behaviour: An Evolutionary Approach, Eighth Edition. Sinauer Associates, Inc. (page 503-504)
Their source: F.B. Furlow 1997, Human neonatal cry quality as an honest signal of fitness. Evolution and Human Behavior 18: 175-194.
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Re: Mom Murders Child Over Crying While She Played Farmville

Postby JBJ » Sun Oct 31, 2010 2:56 pm UTC

Not offended, but it's not that simple.
Jplus wrote:I have been told, during my course in advanced behavioural biology (which, admittedly, isn't a course in raising children), that human baby crying is an honest signal. This means that babies cry only if they really need attention. The study that produced this conclusion also observed that babies tend to cry significantly less when their caretakers are apt to directly give attention when the baby starts to cry.
True, for maybe the first 6 weeks or so. During that time, a baby will cry primarily out of hunger or discomfort. In many cases, parents can distinguish one type of cry from another. And immediately addressing that cry would result in a cessation of the crying.

Now, starting around 2-3 months (the child in the article was 3 months old), babies start developing an attention cry. Nothing to do with hunger or discomfort. They just want some attention or a change in surroundings. Immediately responding to that type of cry will actually result in more crying, especially if you give more attention to crying than other playtime when the baby is happy and giggling.

So, a baby crying is not always an honest signal. Starting around 3 months, a baby is starting to discover the world and make connections. When they smile, they see their parents smile. When they cry, they get attention. They are starting to work out that their actions have some reactions. If a cry gets them attention, then they will cry.

Now I don't want to rule out the possibility that exceptional babies exist that cry more than necessary, but I think that a lot of baby crying would not happen if the caretakers would simply react faster and more often to the cries. I've seen all too often that parents are totally exhausted and frustrated by the crying of their baby, but instead of doing something about it try to ignore it and get even more frustrated...
Colic. Estimates of the number of babies who become colicky vary, but I've seen ranges from 20-40%. A baby that cries more than necessary is not an exception. Every parent has either given or received advice for a colicky baby. Sometimes a car ride helps. We had success with Gripe water most of the time. Maybe holding and rocking will also do it. And sometimes, nothing you try will do a damn thing. It has nothing to do with the reaction time. To counter point, Ferberizing a child is a method that actually requires that you ignore the child for increasing periods of crying allowing them to self-soothe.
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Re: Mom Murders Child Over Crying While She Played Farmville

Postby guenther » Sun Oct 31, 2010 3:32 pm UTC

I agree with what JBJ said, it's just not that simple. Sometimes even the most attentive parent can't do anything but wait for the crying to stop.

Having said that, we do have the power to manage our frustration. Having a baby, especially for a new parent, is incredibly trying. A lot of parenting is simply re-prioritizing your life to put the baby's needs above everything else, and frustration will build when you don't do that. Sometimes this is very hard--when the baby has cried for the third time at 3am, it's hard not prioritizing getting back to sleep. And sometimes it's simply impossible because we have other immediate chores, and we don't have the luxury of stopping everything. However, sometimes we do have that luxury. This was a big learning experience for me with my first kid (and even to some extent with the second). I still had my pre-parenting priorities and I just wanted to finish that one post or that one level if that dang kid would just shut up for a minute! But the problem was me, not the kid. Even when I couldn't stop the crying, simply focusing my mind away from the other task and towards the baby allowed me to empathize with her struggles rather than see her as an annoying obstacle to the rest of my life. However, sometimes I knew that's precisely what I should do, but the best I could accomplish was to fight to keep my foul mood from creeping too much into my behavior.

EDIT: And let me point out that this is directed at non-parents, not at JBJ or other parents. Anyone with a kid will understand immediately about having to re-prioritize. :)
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Re: Mom Murders Child Over Crying While She Played Farmville

Postby sourmìlk » Sun Oct 31, 2010 3:38 pm UTC

God, I hate these articles. Not just because of their subject matter, but the fact that they falsely link technology to this stuff. Like "Student Commits School Shotting After Playing GTA 4." Because one instance of correlation implies universal causation, amirite?
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Re: Mom Murders Child Over Crying While She Played Farmville

Postby Jplus » Sun Oct 31, 2010 5:19 pm UTC

JBJ and günther, thanks for the explanations.
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Re: Mom Murders Child Over Crying While She Played Farmville

Postby Internetmeme » Sun Oct 31, 2010 5:39 pm UTC

sourmìlk wrote:God, I hate these articles. Not just because of their subject matter, but the fact that they falsely link technology to this stuff. Like "Student Commits School Shotting After Playing GTA 4." Because one instance of correlation implies universal causation, amirite?

That wasn't the point of the article:
Kate James wrote:I agree Ryan. I wasn't trying to blame Facebook here. I'm blaming the mother. She could have chosen so many other things to do about this anger she felt.

Above quote is a comment the author of the article made in the comments.
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Re: Mom Murders Child Over Crying While She Played Farmville

Postby clintonius » Sun Oct 31, 2010 6:59 pm UTC

Internetmeme wrote:
sourmìlk wrote:God, I hate these articles. Not just because of their subject matter, but the fact that they falsely link technology to this stuff. Like "Student Commits School Shotting After Playing GTA 4." Because one instance of correlation implies universal causation, amirite?
That wasn't the point of the article:
Kate James wrote:I agree Ryan. I wasn't trying to blame Facebook here. I'm blaming the mother. She could have chosen so many other things to do about this anger she felt.
Above quote is a comment the author of the article made in the comments.

I don't really care what the author claims her intention was. Writing a sensational article then claiming you weren't trying to be sensational doesn't mean anything. See, e.g.,
the article wrote:the baby is literally dead over Facebook and FarmVille.
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Re: Mom Murders Child Over Crying While She Played Farmville

Postby Ivor Zozz » Sun Oct 31, 2010 7:07 pm UTC

No mere metaphorical death here.
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Re: Mom Murders Child Over Crying While She Played Farmville

Postby StNowhere » Sun Oct 31, 2010 7:20 pm UTC

clintonius wrote:
Internetmeme wrote:
sourmìlk wrote:God, I hate these articles. Not just because of their subject matter, but the fact that they falsely link technology to this stuff. Like "Student Commits School Shotting After Playing GTA 4." Because one instance of correlation implies universal causation, amirite?
That wasn't the point of the article:
Kate James wrote:I agree Ryan. I wasn't trying to blame Facebook here. I'm blaming the mother. She could have chosen so many other things to do about this anger she felt.
Above quote is a comment the author of the article made in the comments.

I don't really care what the author claims her intention was. Writing a sensational article then claiming you weren't trying to be sensational doesn't mean anything. See, e.g.,
the article wrote:the baby is literally dead over Facebook and FarmVille.


Honestly. The name of the article is "Angry Florida Mom Kills Baby Over Facebook - Why did she Take Time to Smoke?" If you're not trying to pin the senseless tragedy on Facebook, why is it mentioned? Ah, it's because you want your readers to make the link between the tragedy and something of a phenomenon that not many people understand, so it must necessarily be bad and leading to the demise of civilization, right? As guenther points out (or at least alludes to, I don't want to put words in anyone's mouth), the problem here is not what she was doing, but a failure of prioritization, or at least a failure of the practical aspects of prioritization. She could just as easily have been reading a novel, or watching TV, but no one is going to write an article about "Angry Florida Mom Kills Baby Over Oprah" or "Nora Roberts Culpable for Death of Infant?" The writer may not have intended to blame Facebook directly, but she certainly isn't above using sensationalism to bolster views.

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Re: Mom Murders Child Over Crying While She Played Farmville

Postby Internetmeme » Mon Nov 01, 2010 3:16 am UTC

Ah.
So a faceheelturn, then, when she realized that people wouldn't do with the sensationalism?
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Re: Mom Murders Child Over Crying While She Played Farmville

Postby cjmcjmcjmcjm » Mon Nov 01, 2010 5:13 am UTC

Sensationalistic title for a sensationalistic article. It's just another tragic case of shaken baby syndrome, nothing more.
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Re: Mom Murders Child Over Crying While She Played Farmville

Postby Cleverbeans » Mon Nov 01, 2010 9:18 pm UTC

StNowhere wrote:If you're not trying to pin the senseless tragedy on Facebook, why is it mentioned?


I think it's a simple example of profit motive. Facebook is popular, tragedy is popular, putting both in the same article will draw attention and increase revenue. I think it's presumptuous to assume they were trying to conclude some causal link when journalism is essentially an extension of the advertising industry and they're willing to imply blatantly false causation to manipulate emotion for personal gain. I just chalk it up to the usual corporate media tripe that gets passed off as journalism.
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Re: Mom Murders Child Over Crying While She Played Farmville

Postby StNowhere » Mon Nov 01, 2010 11:48 pm UTC

Cleverbeans wrote:
StNowhere wrote:If you're not trying to pin the senseless tragedy on Facebook, why is it mentioned?


I think it's a simple example of profit motive. Facebook is popular, tragedy is popular, putting both in the same article will draw attention and increase revenue. I think it's presumptuous to assume they were trying to conclude some causal link when journalism is essentially an extension of the advertising industry and they're willing to imply blatantly false causation to manipulate emotion for personal gain. I just chalk it up to the usual corporate media tripe that gets passed off as journalism.


Aye, that statement was in reply to the writer trying to assert she wasn't writing the article to blame Facebook for the child's death. Maybe, maybe not, but she certainly isn't above a winking inclusion to drum up readership. If you can make a sensationalist connection to something that is widely popular, yet not always understood, you can make big points. In the long long ago, it was satanic music. Then, I dunno, probably VHS porn. Then comes Everquest, World of Warcraft, Korean Starcraft cults, you name it. "No, I'm not trying to blame Facebook, I'm just trying to get you to blame Facebook, so then you'll be outraged and tell all your friends to read my article!"

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Re: Mom Murders Child Over Crying While She Played Farmville

Postby Jahoclave » Tue Nov 02, 2010 5:48 am UTC

sourmìlk wrote:God, I hate these articles. Not just because of their subject matter, but the fact that they falsely link technology to this stuff. Like "Student Commits School Shotting After Playing GTA 4." Because one instance of correlation implies universal causation, amirite?

No, because two instances of correlation implies universal causation. See, student plays GTA after school then shoots up school after playing GTA! Clearly the school caused the student to play GTA. Ergo, school must be banned to prevent former students from playing GTA.

Seriously, we need to get past simple surface level one-link correlations here or we'll never solve any of society's biggest social ills.

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Re: Mom Murders Child Over Crying While She Played Farmville

Postby Darkscull » Tue Nov 02, 2010 1:42 pm UTC

Jahoclave wrote:Seriously, we need to get past simple surface level one-link correlations here or we'll never solve any of society's biggest social ills.


You're assuming that the people talking about those correlations as fact actually want to solve any of society's biggest social ills.

Those who are pushing the trend (advertisers, news providers, politicians) have all shaped their professions so that they benefit from society's problems. Why would they want to change it now?
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Re: Mom Murders Child Over Crying While She Played Farmville

Postby Jahoclave » Tue Nov 02, 2010 2:44 pm UTC

Darkscull wrote:
Jahoclave wrote:Seriously, we need to get past simple surface level one-link correlations here or we'll never solve any of society's biggest social ills.


You're assuming that the people talking about those correlations as fact actually want to solve any of society's biggest social ills.

Those who are pushing the trend (advertisers, news providers, politicians) have all shaped their professions so that they benefit from society's problems. Why would they want to change it now?

Because they hate the Department of Education and see it as an illegal, unconstitutional, communist plot?


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