In other news... (humorous news items)

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby addams » Mon Feb 19, 2018 1:37 am UTC

Sableagle wrote:Did you happen to note what kind of tea does that and where it's sold?
My best guess is Angel Trumpet Plant.
The Canadians had bought it while traveling abroad.
They thought it was a harmless exotic.

What a Time of it They Had!

The way I remember it, they had been friends and neighbors.
They had not planed on being arrested Naked with one in the trunk of the car.

No one was seriously injured.
Their relationships may heal.

Brugmansia: One kind of Angel Trumpet Plant.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brugmansia
The hallucinogenic effects of Brugmansia were described in the journal Pathology as "terrifying rather than pleasurable".[28] The author Christina Pratt, in An Encyclopedia of Shamanism, says that "Brugmansia induces a powerful trance with violent and unpleasant effects, sickening after effects, and at times temporary insanity".[19] These hallucinations are often characterized by complete loss of awareness that one is hallucinating,
In 1994 in Florida, 112 people were admitted to hospitals from ingesting Brugmansia,[30] leading one municipality to prohibit the purchase, sale, or cultivation of Brugmansia plants.[3][31][32] The concentrations of alkaloids in all parts of the plant differ markedly. They even vary with the seasons and the level of hydration, so it is nearly impossible to determine a safe level of alkaloid exposure.[25]
It may be a good idea to let Flora Folk know about this plant.
It is very common in warm climates.

The blossoms smell like Heaven in the warm night air.


It can be made into a sweetened tea.
Or; mixed into an umbrella cocktail.

It can be ground into a powder and blown into a person's face.
If that person is a lone Tourist, that Tourist can become a victim.

(shrug)
The more you know.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby LaserGuy » Mon Feb 19, 2018 10:09 pm UTC

Russian athlete tests positive for performance enhancing drug, which may invalidate his medal in mixed-doubles curling. Players and commentators are left scratching their heads as to why anyone would bother doping for curling.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby CorruptUser » Mon Feb 19, 2018 10:13 pm UTC

The real doping crisis in baseball was never steroids, but amphetamines, which is why half the players are "diagnosed" with ADD and the like. Maybe the athlete was on amphetamines too?

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Liri » Tue Feb 20, 2018 12:15 am UTC

LaserGuy wrote:Russian athlete tests positive for performance enhancing drug, which may invalidate his medal in mixed-doubles curling. Players and commentators are left scratching their heads as to why anyone would bother doping for curling.

Their marriage might be on the rocks after this.

I'll bet she was pretty stone-faced when she heard.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Peaceful Whale » Tue Feb 20, 2018 12:17 am UTC

Liri wrote:
LaserGuy wrote:Russian athlete tests positive for performance enhancing drug, which may invalidate his medal in mixed-doubles curling. Players and commentators are left scratching their heads as to why anyone would bother doping for curling.

Their marriage might be on the rocks after this.

I'll bet she was pretty stone-faced when she heard.

... Is that a pun? Aren’t the curdles made of stone?
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Peaceful Whale » Tue Feb 20, 2018 12:17 am UTC

If it is a pun:

*dies*
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby LaserGuy » Tue Feb 20, 2018 12:18 am UTC

Yes, it's a pun. In curling, you throw rocks at houses.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby MartianInvader » Wed Feb 21, 2018 5:08 pm UTC

I thought other people throw rocks at houses, and you sweep up the broken windows?
Let's have a fervent argument, mostly over semantics, where we all claim the burden of proof is on the other side!

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby ColletArrow » Wed Feb 21, 2018 11:32 pm UTC

Well... this is certainly different: Newport fire crew cut spanner from man's genitals at A&E.

Don't worry, it's BBC News so the article is pretty short. But, nonetheless, it begins with
BBC News wrote:Firefighters have issued a tongue-in-cheek safety warning after being called to a hospital to free a man who had trapped his genitals in a ring spanner.

...I just don't have any more words to add to this.

This is why I like the BBC Local News pages, you get all sorts of interesting stories when there's nothing particularly big going on.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby ConMan » Wed Feb 21, 2018 11:54 pm UTC

If you ever make friends with someone who works in an emergency department, ask them how many men show up after allegedly performing home renovations in the shower, with no clothes on, and slipping and somehow getting one of their tools lodged somewhere that seems physically unlikely.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby commodorejohn » Thu Feb 22, 2018 1:48 am UTC

I'm...um, I'm struggling to figure out how one could trap their junk in a box wrench (that is what they mean by "ring spanner," correct?) and be unable to remove it without engaging someone else to cut the metal. Did he just have the mother of all awkwardly-timed erections?
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby CorruptUser » Thu Feb 22, 2018 1:58 am UTC

The blood vessels that lead blood away from an erection are on the outside of the penis. If the penis gets trapped, blood can enter but it can't leave...

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby addams » Thu Feb 22, 2018 6:13 am UTC

CorruptUser wrote:The blood vessels that lead blood away from an erection are on the outside of the penis. If the penis gets trapped, blood can enter but it can't leave...
Huh...Good to know.
I doubt I'll ever need to use that tid-bit of information.

shrug
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Sableagle » Thu Feb 22, 2018 1:27 pm UTC

German police rescue men tangled up with mannequin, toy car

Police in western Germany have freed two men who became entangled with a mannequin and a large, remote controlled car.

Officers were called after cries were heard from an apartment in the city of Mainz in the early hours of Saturday.

Police found the 58-year-old tenant and a 61-year-old visitor “hopelessly locked together” with the toy car and the mannequin — which was dressed in a knight’s costume.

Officers were able to free the men, who were too drunk to explain how their unfortunate predicament had come about.
Oh, Willie McBride, it was all done in vain.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby orthogon » Thu Feb 22, 2018 5:20 pm UTC

commodorejohn wrote: box wrench (that is what they mean by "ring spanner," correct?)

I'd put it that when you say "box wrench", you mean "ring spanner". I like to pride myself on being pretty internationalist, I'm well into the descriptivist thing and I generally enjoy English in all its variants; furthermore I abhor the knee-jerk anti-Americanism of many of my compatriots and I accept that American English is often more logical than the British flavo[u]r. However, this, like the MM/DD date format, is a case where you're simply wrong. What the blinking heck makes "box" an appropriate adjunct to distinguish a closed-ended spanner/wrench from its open-ended version? What's boxy about it? The quintessential thing about boxes are that they're square. These things are round.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby CorruptUser » Thu Feb 22, 2018 6:18 pm UTC

Wait, why is it called a box wrench? Ring wrench is much more descriptive.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Thesh » Thu Feb 22, 2018 6:33 pm UTC

Probably because bolt heads used to be square.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby elasto » Fri Feb 23, 2018 12:49 am UTC

Reality TV star Kylie Jenner wiped $1.3bn (£1bn) off the stock market value of Snapchat after tweeting that she no longer used its messaging app.

Celebrity Kim Kardashian's half-sister posted: "sooo does anyone else not open Snapchat anymore? Or is it just me... ugh this is so sad."

Snapchat's share price sank after Ms Jenner's tweet about its re-design to her 24.5 million Twitter followers.
Snapchat is facing intense competition from Facebook's Instagram - especially for celebrity users - and Ms Jenner's attack comes at a time when investors are already worried.

My oldest has just discovered social media and it's interesting which networks she and her friends use. Instagram is hot, Facebook and Snapchat are not. Twitter she has heard of but she's not into following celebrities so has no real use for it. Her go-to activity seems to be watching people play video games on Youtube.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby nicholasbrooks » Fri Feb 23, 2018 4:12 pm UTC

elasto wrote:
Reality TV star Kylie Jenner wiped $1.3bn (£1bn) off the stock market value of Snapchat after tweeting that she no longer used its messaging app.

Celebrity Kim Kardashian's half-sister posted: "sooo does anyone else not open Snapchat anymore? Or is it just me... ugh this is so sad."

Snapchat's share price sank after Ms Jenner's tweet about its re-design to her 24.5 million Twitter followers.
Snapchat is facing intense competition from Facebook's Instagram - especially for celebrity users - and Ms Jenner's attack comes at a time when investors are already worried.

My oldest has just discovered social media and it's interesting which networks she and her friends use. Instagram is hot, Facebook and Snapchat are not. Twitter she has heard of but she's not into following celebrities so has no real use for it. Her go-to activity seems to be watching people play video games on Youtube.


It's super interesting how it has all changed.
Facebook is now used for your "official profile" to the world. You maybe go there a few times a month to upload your best pictures of vacation, to change your relationship status, etc.
Twitter seems to be mostly used by businesses and professionals for PR.
Snapchat is definitely losing it's edge since the update, but even before that there was a decline in users because of it's reputation as something sketchy.
Instagram is evolving with their "Stories" feature and more businesses are taking advantage. IG is the hot spot!

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Sableagle » Mon Mar 05, 2018 4:53 pm UTC

{NSFW autoplaying video warning}

Code: Select all

http://www.news.com.au/world/europe/topless-woman-confronts-silvio-berlusconi-at-polling-booth/news-story/55db8ad3d4d652f2992041015ce0bf0c


Very nice of her to speak on others' behalf.

(We all know what message she was trying to send, too, which is more than can be said for that guy who shot himself vaguely near the White House recently.)
Oh, Willie McBride, it was all done in vain.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby addams » Tue Mar 06, 2018 5:11 am UTC

oh, sigh...
Isn't it Tradition?

As the World stumbles Right in a self-centered populous fever;
Isn't Italy Traditionally one of the first to Fall. (oh, sigh)

It is also a European Tradition to get a laugh from Free Flying Titties.
I have European blood. In the right light, I think Titties are funny.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Sableagle » Tue Mar 06, 2018 4:26 pm UTC

Jennie Breeden on a panel at a comic convention, years ago: "When someone comes into the shop asking what they should read, I tell them to look along the shelf for the books that are just a little taller than the others, because those are European. That means you're going to get stuff you wouldn't get in a US comic, like controversial subjects, nudity, ... "
Other panelist: "Does nudity make a better comic?"
Jennie: "Yeah! BOOBIES!"
Oh, Willie McBride, it was all done in vain.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby sardia » Tue Mar 06, 2018 6:50 pm UTC

It's finally happening, the computers are taking over... The knitting community. It's name?
SkyKnit: How an AI Took Over an Adult Knitting Community
Prodded by a knitter on the knitting forum Ravelry, Shane trained a type of neural network on a series of over 500 sets of knitting instructions. Then, she generated new instructions, which members of the Ravelry community have actually attempted to knit.
Thus, the neural network was being fed all kinds of things from this particular LSG community. “A few notable new additions: Opus the Octopus, Dice Bag of Doom, Doctor Who TARDIS Dishcloth, and something merely called ‘The Impaler,’” Shane wrote on the forum. “The number of patterns with tentacles is now alarmingly high,” she said in another post.


https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/ ... rn/554894/
Given the adult content, I'm disturbed at how many knitted objects the neural network designs have tentacles.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Yablo » Tue Mar 06, 2018 8:24 pm UTC

CorruptUser wrote:The blood vessels that lead blood away from an erection are on the outside of the penis. If the penis gets trapped, blood can enter but it can't leave...

Design flaw or Darwinism?
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Soupspoon » Tue Mar 06, 2018 9:11 pm UTC

Yablo wrote:
CorruptUser wrote:The blood vessels that lead blood away from an erection are on the outside of the penis. If the penis gets trapped, blood can enter but it can't leave...

Design flaw or Darwinism?

Should there be a 'leak' of hydraulic fluid, possiby slightly better it be after it has done its mechanical work. Less pressure, and the marginally higher chance of the appendage having been put to use despite such damage, could work its selective pressures between orga(ni)sms with the differing strategies.

Or it just follows the fairly standard (probably for similar reasons) template of arteries being deeper in the body, with arteries (those that are not similarly deep, being paired within significantly radial bodily structures1) being more often near-surface in taking the blood back to the cardiovascular hub.


1 Which modesty, and unfortunately also all believable empiricism, forbids me to claim applies to the member concerned in my case,

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby pkcommando » Wed Mar 07, 2018 1:24 pm UTC

sardia wrote:Given the adult content, I'm disturbed at how many knitted objects the neural network designs have tentacles.

Given the amount of time I've spent on Ravelry, I'm more disturbed by LSGers teaching machines.

At least tentacles made of yarn are soft and don't require a flange. Safety first!

Real projects on Ravelry under the Mature content filter:
-Dick-shaped chapstick holder
-Knitted ball gag
-Knitted vulva
-Dick warmers (so many dick warmers!)
-Vibrator holder
-Pasties
-Humping animal patterns for sweaters/hats
-Penis scarf
-Ejaculating penises pattern for sweaters/hats (aka: pearl clutcher)
-Whips
-Sperm keychain
-Merkin
-Vagina dentata amigurumi
-Felted cervix

Edit: I almost forgot the Bag of Dicks pattern! I can't find it on Rav anymore, but it was exactly what it says on the tin, a little knitted bag - filled with little knitted dicks for when you want to tell someone to go eat a bag of dicks.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Peaceful Whale » Wed Mar 07, 2018 1:27 pm UTC

What in the world?!?!

What is wrong with the internet?
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Peaceful Whale » Wed Mar 07, 2018 1:28 pm UTC

More specifically, what is wrong with you humans?
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Zohar » Wed Mar 07, 2018 3:10 pm UTC

It is a form of art, and sometimes art is sexual or porn, why are you surprised, or critical?
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby eran_rathan » Wed Mar 07, 2018 3:51 pm UTC

the whalecat is a bit young. I daresay the forum is an education of sorts.
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby CorruptUser » Wed Mar 07, 2018 4:38 pm UTC

The biggest surprise, whale creature, is how attraction changes as you grow older. When you are young, it's relatively simple; you are young, the person you are interested in is also young, hormones take over. When you are 50 and everyone is ugly, there is no physical attraction anymore, and it's all about that weird perverted stuff like "long-term compatibility" or "shared interests" or "perverted hobbies that are an affront to all that is pure and sacred".

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Sableagle » Tue Mar 13, 2018 6:05 pm UTC

Zombies are real!

Long-dead bodies have risen from the grave and lurched into the newspapers.

27 June 2007, we thought irony and satire had gone the way of the dodo when Tony Blair was appointed Middle East Peace Envoy.

Yeah? If irony and satire are dead and gone, what the **** is THIS?!?

[url=https://www.nytimes.com/aponline/2018/03/11/us/ap-us-lincoln-prize-tony-blair.html]Former British Prime Minister Tony Blair is the recipient of this year's Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library Foundation's Lincoln Leadership Prize.

Blair will be awarded the prize on April 24 in Chicago. The foundation says the honor is given to those who have strength of character, individual conscience and commitment to democracy.

Blair served as prime minister from 1997 to 2007. Since leaving office he has spent time working in the Mideast and Africa and with the Tony Blair Institute for Global Change. He is the first British citizen to receive the Lincoln Leadership Prize. Other recipients have included former U.S. President Bill Clinton, astronaut James Lovell Jr. and Archbishop Desmond Tutu.

Ray McCaskey, chair of the foundation's board of directors, says Blair "embodies the kind of leadership that President Lincoln would have recognized and appreciated."


Well, out of a world population around 1250 million, the US Civil War killed about three quarters of a million and out of a world population of around 7000 million the Iraq war killed ... oh, wait. We don't know yet, do we? It's still ongoing. Got to be more than a million by now, right?
Oh, Willie McBride, it was all done in vain.


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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Quercus » Fri Mar 16, 2018 11:32 pm UTC



I wonder if Romania has a statute disallowing posthumous trials, if so this could be a "get out of jail free" card in disguise.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby ColletArrow » Fri Mar 16, 2018 11:55 pm UTC


Excellent! What an odd series of events. I almost fell over at the line
the Guardian wrote:Reliu had planned to renew his passport in Romania and return to Turkey, but on arrival, he was detained by immigration officers who informed him he had died in 2003.

I wonder what the officers face was when he discovered the man in front of him was legally dead.

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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby SDK » Mon Mar 19, 2018 5:43 pm UTC

ColletArrow wrote:I wonder what the officers face was when he discovered the man in front of him was legally dead.

Probably initially assumed that he'd forged a dead person's documents.

Pretty hilarious story, though. Bureaucracy has gone to new heights on this one!
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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby CorruptUser » Mon Mar 19, 2018 7:07 pm UTC



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Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Plasma_Wolf » Tue Mar 20, 2018 2:14 pm UTC

John Oliver's book Marlon Bundo is topping the Amazon bestseller list within 24 hours of its release: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-43457884



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