1152: "Communion"

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1152: "Communion"

Postby asdfzxc » Wed Dec 26, 2012 5:08 am UTC

Image

Alt-text: The local police, growing increasingly concerned about this church, ask parishoners to take a sip of wine and then spit it back out for DNA testing. It's blood, and it matches a 1970s murder victim.

Wait, there are normal people between the ages of 12 and 50 who actually practice communion?

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Re: 1152: "Communion"

Postby rhomboidal » Wed Dec 26, 2012 5:09 am UTC

I'll bet the naughty kids were sneaking back in line for seconds.

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Re: 1152: "Communion"

Postby cephron » Wed Dec 26, 2012 6:02 am UTC

In case anyone's wondering what this communion thing is about, and how it relates to "eating flesh and blood":

26 While they were eating, Jesus took bread. He gave thanks and broke it. He handed it to his disciples and said, “Take this and eat it. This is my body.”
27 Then he took the cup. He gave thanks and handed it to them. He said, “All of you drink from it. 28 This is my blood of the new covenant. It is poured out to forgive the sins of many. 29 Here is what I tell you. From now on, I won’t drink wine with you again until the day I drink it with you in my Father’s kingdom.”

Matthew 26:26-29 (New International Version)

Jesus is using the bread and wine to symbolize the sacrifice he is about to make. "Taking communion" is the act of eating bread and wine in remembrance of this sacrifice--done by Christians in a group, often as part of a church service. Christians believe different things about what communion means, spanning from believing it to be only a symbol, to that a miracle of sorts occurs in the very material of the bread and wine when a person takes communion (transforming it in some way into "flesh" and "blood").

Merry Christmas/happy holidays, all.

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Re: 1152: "Communion"

Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Wed Dec 26, 2012 6:24 am UTC

Transformers!
More than bread and wine...

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Re: 1152: "Communion"

Postby OP Tipping » Wed Dec 26, 2012 6:57 am UTC

That's why he was placed in a manger.
a) Please explain the specific MEDICAL reason for ordering this MEDICATION !
b) Please state the nature of your ailment or injury.
c) One a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your pain?
d) Please state the nature of the medical emergency.

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Re: 1152: "Communion"

Postby Dr What » Wed Dec 26, 2012 7:15 am UTC

"parishoners" or "parishioners"? I'm not native english speaker and don't know this word, so I looked up dictionaries and find parishioner. But I can also find parishoner on webpages. Is it a typo or are they both right?

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Re: 1152: "Communion"

Postby addams » Wed Dec 26, 2012 8:29 am UTC

The 'right's kid? This time?!
Yes. That would be nice; Yet, Highly unlikely.
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Re: 1152: "Communion"

Postby TimXCampbell » Wed Dec 26, 2012 9:16 am UTC

I don't get it.

There, I said it.

I mean, I know about transubstantiation and such, but ... the “right” child? Huh? Or is the comic implying that this church isn't interested in transubstantiation? If so, then ... the implications ... ewww.

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Re: 1152: "Communion"

Postby kratpalm » Wed Dec 26, 2012 9:38 am UTC

It's nice to have a comic about Dionysus! He's one of my favourite Greek Gods.

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Re: 1152: "Communion"

Postby orthogon » Wed Dec 26, 2012 10:09 am UTC

If the communion wafer transforms into the body of Christ, does it taste a bit like chicken?
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Re: 1152: "Communion"

Postby Cousj001 » Wed Dec 26, 2012 11:24 am UTC

orthogon wrote:If the communion wafer transforms into the body of Christ, does it taste a bit like chicken?


No.

Although I'm a Methodist, so I don't believe in transubstantiation. We also didn't have communion on Christmas Day, although we did have a service. We did have communion on Christmas Eve, though.
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Re: 1152: "Communion"

Postby NearlySink » Wed Dec 26, 2012 11:37 am UTC

The link on the image is wrong. It should go to comic 1152 not 1151.

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Re: 1152: "Communion"

Postby snorre » Wed Dec 26, 2012 11:55 am UTC

Mammalian red blood cells don't contain DNA, so the victim must be either fish, bird or reptilian

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Re: 1152: "Communion"

Postby Angua » Wed Dec 26, 2012 12:07 pm UTC

There could be some white blood cells in there though.
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Re: 1152: "Communion"

Postby folmerveeman » Wed Dec 26, 2012 12:38 pm UTC

snorre wrote:Mammalian red blood cells don't contain DNA, so the victim must be either fish, bird or reptilian

Oh god.. OH GOD

Spoiler:
Image
raptor jesus is upon us!

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Re: 1152: "Communion"

Postby hicksbw » Wed Dec 26, 2012 12:58 pm UTC

orthogon wrote:If the communion wafer transforms into the body of Christ, does it taste a bit like chicken?


Pork. Long Pork.

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Re: 1152: "Communion"

Postby I_say_nothing_interesting » Wed Dec 26, 2012 1:54 pm UTC

Just in case somebody didn't know, Roman Catholics believe that the bread and wine the priest blesses literally become the body and blood of Jesus Christ. Protestant denominations believe that the bread and wine (many churches, at least around where I live, substitute grape juice) they eat and drink represent the body and blood of Christ, but are still bread and wine grape juice. One of Luther's 95 theses was actually an objection to the Catholic Church's dogma of transubstantiation; he wanted alternate ways for people to receive Communion. So, other Christian denominations eat bread and drink grape juice during their services; we Catholics eat the flesh and drink the blood of the 2,000-year-old Son of God.

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Re: 1152: "Communion"

Postby cellocgw » Wed Dec 26, 2012 2:02 pm UTC

cephron wrote:In case anyone's wondering what this communion thing is about, and how it relates to "eating flesh and blood":

26 While they were eating, Jesus took bread. He gave thanks and broke it. He handed it to his disciples and said, “Take this and eat it. This is my body.”
27 Then he took the cup. He gave thanks and handed it to them. He said, “All of you drink from it. 28 This is my blood of the new covenant. It is poured out to forgive the sins of many. 29 Here is what I tell you. From now on, I won’t drink wine with you again until the day I drink it with you in my Father’s kingdom.”

Matthew 26:26-29 (New International Version)

Jesus is using the bread and wine to symbolize the sacrifice he is about to make. "Taking communion" is the act of eating bread and wine in remembrance of this sacrifice--done by Christians in a group, often as part of a church service. Christians believe different things about what communion means, spanning from believing it to be only a symbol, to that a miracle of sorts occurs in the very material of the bread and wine when a person takes communion (transforming it in some way into "flesh" and "blood").

Merry Christmas/happy holidays, all.

I realize this comic and most of the comments are total flamebait, but here is a correction to the above anyway. First of all, there's no such thing as "Christian." That term was invented in the late 1960s by some USA conservatives who wanted to get the Catholics, Protestants, Baptists, Adventists, etc etc into one solid voting block. Next, anyone who thinks Communion is merely symbolic had better read up on the term "transsubstantiation."
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Re: 1152: "Communion"

Postby Karilyn » Wed Dec 26, 2012 2:05 pm UTC

TimXCampbell wrote:I don't get it. There, I said it. I mean, I know about transubstantiation and such, but ... the “right” child? Huh? Or is the comic implying that this church isn't interested in transubstantiation? If so, then ... the implications ... ewww.

I think you're over-thinking it. I'm pretty sure this is just supposed to be raw humor with a subversion of expectations in the last panel to act as a punch-line. No particularly religious commentary to be found. I must admit, I found it to be one of the funniest xkcd comics in a while.
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Re: 1152: "Communion"

Postby Sir Ophiuchus » Wed Dec 26, 2012 2:35 pm UTC

cellocgw wrote:First of all, there's no such thing as "Christian." That term was invented in the late 1960s by some USA conservatives who wanted to get the Catholics, Protestants, Baptists, Adventists, etc etc into one solid voting block.


I sincerely doubt this. Apart from anything else, that word was in use in the Victorian era.

cellocgw wrote:Next, anyone who thinks Communion is merely symbolic had better read up on the term "transsubstantiation."


Read up on the term "consubstantiation" as well.

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Re: 1152: "Communion"

Postby SerialTroll » Wed Dec 26, 2012 3:00 pm UTC

cellocgw wrote: I realize this comic and most of the comments are total flamebait, but here is a correction to the above anyway. First of all, there's no such thing as "Christian." That term was invented in the late 1960s by some USA conservatives who wanted to get the Catholics, Protestants, Baptists, Adventists, etc etc into one solid voting block. Next, anyone who thinks Communion is merely symbolic had better read up on the term "transsubstantiation."


Yes, the comic is flamebait, I would have expected more from Randall. But your understanding of the term "Christian" is quite wrong. go read Acts 11:26

26 And when he had found him, he brought him unto Antioch. And it came to pass, that a whole year they assembled themselves with the church, and taught much people. And the disciples were called Christians first in Antioch.

Even if you argue that the term "Christian" was invented in the translation only, you would have to trace the word back to late 1604 to 1611, but it clearly goes back much further than that. The concept of followers of Christ clearly went back to the 1st and 2nd Century AD.
Last edited by SerialTroll on Wed Dec 26, 2012 3:07 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: 1152: "Communion"

Postby JudeMorrigan » Wed Dec 26, 2012 3:01 pm UTC

SerialTroll wrote:Yes, the comic is flamebait, I would have expected more from Randall. But your understanding of the term "Christian" is quite wrong. go read Acts 11:26

See also Acts 26:28 and 1 Peter 4:16. The latter verse is particularly important from a historical perspective.

That said, I personally thought the comic was just silliness. But then, I'm the sort of Catholic who thought that Dogma was all sorts of awesome.

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Re: 1152: "Communion"

Postby cantab314 » Wed Dec 26, 2012 3:29 pm UTC

folmerveeman wrote:
snorre wrote:Mammalian red blood cells don't contain DNA, so the victim must be either fish, bird or reptilian

Oh god.. OH GOD

Spoiler:
Image
raptor jesus is upon us!
This isn't actually what is meant by the Jesus Christ dinosaur hypothesis.

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Re: 1152: "Communion"

Postby RobC » Wed Dec 26, 2012 4:31 pm UTC

cellocgw wrote:First of all, there's no such thing as "Christian." That term was invented in the late 1960s by some USA conservatives who wanted to get the Catholics, Protestants, Baptists, Adventists, etc etc into one solid voting block.
Does everything else that was invented in the late 1960s also not exist?
Leaving that aside, my rather dusty copy of the OED has citations for this usage (an adjective covering all Christian churches) from the early 16th century.
Oxford English Dictionary wrote:1597 R. Hooker Of Lawes Eccl. Politie v. lxvii. 180 That wherewith..all Christian confessions [are] agreeable.

Of course, the word also appears frequently in Shakespeare, and many other pre-1960s works, as a term for all Christians regardless of their specific denomination.

cellocgw wrote:Next, anyone who thinks Communion is merely symbolic had better read up on the term "transsubstantiation."

Whereupon such a person might find that
Wikipedia wrote:[m]any Protestant denominations believe that the Lord's Supper is a merely symbolic act done in remembrance of what Christ has done for them on the cross.
.
Indeed, this distinction was, of course, a major controversy during the reformation.

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Re: 1152: "Communion"

Postby Quicksilver » Wed Dec 26, 2012 4:33 pm UTC

This is the kind of joke I'd expect from 5sf.

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Re: 1152: "Communion"

Postby Zanax » Wed Dec 26, 2012 4:51 pm UTC

Google "Eucharistic miracle". Try to explain THAT.

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Re: 1152: "Communion"

Postby philsov » Wed Dec 26, 2012 5:07 pm UTC

TimXCampbell wrote:I don't get it.

There, I said it.

I mean, I know about transubstantiation and such, but ... the “right” child? Huh? Or is the comic implying that this church isn't interested in transubstantiation? If so, then ... the implications ... ewww.


I don't think the implications are there.

Just the morbid humor that stems from ritual sacrifice and "whoops."
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Re: 1152: "Communion"

Postby addams » Wed Dec 26, 2012 5:22 pm UTC

TimXCampbell wrote:I don't get it.

There, I said it.

I mean, I know about transubstantiation and such, but ... the “right” child? Huh? Or is the comic implying that this church isn't interested in transubstantiation? If so, then ... the implications ... ewww.

Yep. The implications.....?
What does it have to do with math?
When are we? The early 21 Century.
A wonderful time?
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Re: 1152: "Communion"

Postby cellocgw » Wed Dec 26, 2012 5:37 pm UTC

SerialTroll wrote:
cellocgw wrote: I realize this comic and most of the comments are total flamebait, but here is a correction to the above anyway. First of all, there's no such thing as "Christian." That term was invented in the late 1960s by some USA conservatives who wanted to get the Catholics, Protestants, Baptists, Adventists, etc etc into one solid voting block. Next, anyone who thinks Communion is merely symbolic had better read up on the term "transsubstantiation."


Yes, the comic is flamebait, I would have expected more from Randall. But your understanding of the term "Christian" is quite wrong. go read Acts 11:26

26 And when he had found him, he brought him unto Antioch. And it came to pass, that a whole year they assembled themselves with the church, and taught much people. And the disciples were called Christians first in Antioch.

Even if you argue that the term "Christian" was invented in the translation only, you would have to trace the word back to late 1604 to 1611, but it clearly goes back much further than that. The concept of followers of Christ clearly went back to the 1st and 2nd Century AD.


OK, I accept your point. However, it remains the case that the conservatives in the US pushed the *use* of the term "Christian" over specific subreligions as a uniting tool.
Not that the Church of England, say really considered those damn heretic Papists in Rome to be Christians (or the Catholics' view of Lutherans...)
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Re: 1152: "Communion"

Postby San Fran Sam » Wed Dec 26, 2012 6:10 pm UTC

So who was performing the Communion? Jeffrey Dahmer? Was Ed Gein the alter boy?

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Re: 1152: "Communion"

Postby mike-l » Wed Dec 26, 2012 9:04 pm UTC

I came here looking for flaming, and was sorely disappointed.
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Re: 1152: "Communion"

Postby samwyse » Wed Dec 26, 2012 9:34 pm UTC

While the rest of you are arguing religion, I'm trying to figure out if the "70's murder victim" has any significance.

Jonestown, maybe? It was in 1979.

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Re: 1152: "Communion"

Postby tdaxp » Wed Dec 26, 2012 9:44 pm UTC

orthogon wrote:If the communion wafer transforms into the body of Christ, does it taste a bit like chicken?


Why would it?

Transsubstantiation refers to a chance in a thing's substance -- what it "really and truly is" -- not to change in its "accidental" properties-- what it is made of in a physical or chemical sense -- or its taste.

You can imagine a chair. It really and truly is a chair. Then it is disassembled, the paint cleaned off, and put ina kindling fire. It really and truly is kindling. The substance has changed. The accidental properties (being made of wood) remain the same.

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Re: 1152: "Communion"

Postby kybernetes » Wed Dec 26, 2012 10:16 pm UTC

I assumed the murder referenced was Jimmy Hoffa. Pretty big deal in the 70s (and its a continual running joke in popular culture, though I suppose as people get older younger people don't know as much about it). The alt-text I thought was funnier than the comic, since no one is sure where the mobsters hid Jimmy Hoffa's body.

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Re: 1152: "Communion"

Postby Klear » Wed Dec 26, 2012 10:24 pm UTC

mike-l wrote:I came here looking for flaming, and was sorely disappointed.


Me too, but give it some time. It can't be too long now, can it?

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Re: 1152: "Communion"

Postby Frungi » Wed Dec 26, 2012 10:28 pm UTC

samwyse wrote:While the rest of you are arguing religion, I'm trying to figure out if the "70's murder victim" has any significance.

This is why I came here. Seriously, why no discussion of the alt text?

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Re: 1152: "Communion"

Postby AltForFanboysToHate » Wed Dec 26, 2012 10:49 pm UTC

I've come to expect some level of maturity from Randall. I guess that might have been a mistake on my part.

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Re: 1152: "Communion"

Postby kaley » Wed Dec 26, 2012 10:55 pm UTC

I think the reason for "getting the right child" is because there is some sense that communion should be about getting forgiveness (part of the original symbolism). If you get it, you might have an expectation to not need to do it again, right?

So ... I think the "right child" joke is that it didn't take.

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Re: 1152: "Communion"

Postby Dr. Diaphanous » Wed Dec 26, 2012 10:59 pm UTC

You know the plague of Egypt where God turns the Nile to blood? Did God do this in one step, or did he use His water-to-wine trick followed by His wine-to-blood trick?
On that note, maybe the mana in the wilderness and the plague of frogs are instances of the "Multiply bread" and "Multiply aquatic creature" spells demonstrated in the feeding of the 5000?
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Re: 1152: "Communion"

Postby limecat » Wed Dec 26, 2012 11:12 pm UTC

cellocgw wrote: I realize this comic and most of the comments are total flamebait, but here is a correction to the above anyway. First of all, there's no such thing as "Christian." That term was invented in the late 1960s by some USA conservatives who wanted to get the Catholics, Protestants, Baptists, Adventists, etc etc into one solid voting block.

This is not even remotely true; its off by about 1900 years. From Acts 11:26Acts 11:26-- and for the record, the KJV translation dates to 1611:
26 And when he had found him, he brought him unto Antioch. And it came to pass, that a whole year they assembled themselves with the church, and taught much people. And the disciples were called Christians first in Antioch.

The term is well recorded throughout history; the idea that somehow Protestants and Catholics would come together under such a term is at best a stretch. There has been disagreement for about 600 years as to who is truly "Christian" between the two.

Next, anyone who thinks Communion is merely symbolic had better read up on the term "transsubstantiation."

.... Which you will find neither by name nor by description anywhere in the Bible. If you want something invented "after the fact", this is it. Jesus specifically says "do this in remembrance of me". If it were more than just symbolic, the Last Supper would make no sense: is he being sacrificed before the crucifixion? What reason would there be for his crucifixion if the apostles had already participated in his sacrifice?

Well do I understand how much flamebait this is, but lets try to stick with historical accuracy here.


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