0175: "Automatic Doors"

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Ephphatha
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0175: "Automatic Doors"

Postby Ephphatha » Wed Oct 25, 2006 4:37 am UTC

I think the automatic doors are conspiring against me. I go to walk through one and it won't open until my nose basically hits the door, but if I'm just walking past it'll open for me when I'm 10 metres away...

I think they're developing concious thought...

http://xkcd.com/c175.html
Last edited by Ephphatha on Wed Oct 25, 2006 9:01 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Gelsamel » Wed Oct 25, 2006 5:03 am UTC

Now all they need is a speaker system so they can voice their concerns.

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Postby VannA » Wed Oct 25, 2006 5:24 am UTC

As the door closed behind them it became apparent that it did indeed have a satisfied sigh-like quality to it. “Hummmmmmmyummmmmmm ah!â€
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Postby quantheory » Wed Oct 25, 2006 5:24 am UTC

Yeah, it's funny, I always feel like I should go through an automatic door when it opens, and it bugs me when I just wallk near one and I don't want to go through, because it always seems like it's offering some opportunity to go somewhere. Plus I usually encounter automatic doors when shopping, which makes me grumpy anyway.

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Postby Gelsamel » Wed Oct 25, 2006 5:39 am UTC

It's an advertisement tactic!!!

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Postby grim4593 » Wed Oct 25, 2006 5:55 am UTC

What I don't like is stores that have an automatic door to get in, but not one to get out. I'm not lazy or anything, but its trickery!

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Postby Ephphatha » Wed Oct 25, 2006 5:59 am UTC

You know whats worse than automatic sliding doors? Automatic revolving doors. Seriously. Those things are the devil. They spin and spin and spin, just hoping to suck someone into them so they can feast. They have them at my dads workplace, I'm always cautious in case they try anything.
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Charodei
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Re: "Automatic Doors" Discussion

Postby Charodei » Wed Oct 25, 2006 6:24 am UTC

Ephphatha wrote:I think the automatic doors are conspiring against me. I go to walk through one and it won't open until my nose basically hits the door, but if I'm just walking past it'll open for me when I'm 10 metres away...

I think they're developing concious thought...


The way I see it, automatic doors are a convenience. They're designed to open themselves, saving me the time and effort of doing it myself. I figure that if I stop to wait for the door to open, that rather defeats its purpose. So I keep walking at my usual pace, trusting that it will be open by the time I reach it.

Unfortunately, I walk fairly quickly. Sometimes a door is broken and won't open; I've very nearly smashed my face into a few of them.

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Postby Kas » Wed Oct 25, 2006 7:07 am UTC

Oh I can relate similar experiences.

One thing I can say that bothers me is when there's a particularly slow automatic door, and I walk casually towards it, trying not to break my pace, attempting to be confident that it will open but at the same time I'm unsure if it really will. I usually end up stopping a few inches away from it, right as it's opening, and cursing myself because I would have been fine simply walking through.

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Postby Corvin » Wed Oct 25, 2006 7:15 am UTC

my university had sliding doors at the student commons.

unfortunately, because they opened a little slowly, nearly everyone ignored them in favor of smashing down the emergency exit handles.

and our building manager simply could not let it wait until the rush died down, no. she would insist everyone stop while she reset the doors, which could mean 30 seconds of crowds congregating on either side of the doors.

once they were reset, she would step back...

and *wham* someone would smash that fucker open again.

someone just didnt seem to learn. couldnt tell you which side it was, though.

Corvin

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Postby randommuz » Wed Oct 25, 2006 10:18 am UTC

I feel nervous in shops when I stand near or in the sensor region. I try and move so that I am always outside its range but probably only make myself look a little derranged. Which is possibly true.

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Postby Verysillyman » Wed Oct 25, 2006 10:21 am UTC

Before I read this comic today, I had gone for a walk to get burgers because I was feeling sad because boys are stupid and so are people who steal my wobsite name and drink all my moloko, so i was feeling bad, and burgers make me feel better, so i wanted one.

I had had my burgers, and was playing the game where i'm a brand new robot programmed to be amazed at new things, and i wander around like i've never seen anything before, and one of the things that was especially interesting was the automatic doors.

They move without me doing anything! It's like they're alive.

In short, automatic doors can cheer me up.

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Postby Jack Saladin » Wed Oct 25, 2006 10:29 am UTC

There's a screwed up automatic door at Massey, and they've taken the bit with the motor and crap off. The cover, I mean, so you can see it all sliding and how it works when you walk near it.

It was like a glimpse into a wonderful, wonderful world. Or a greasy bunch of mechanical components for an automated door. One of the two.

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Postby Ephphatha » Wed Oct 25, 2006 11:08 am UTC

I just found the one set of automatic doors in this town that open for me early enough that I can walk through without breaking stride. I think I'm in love.
I'm not lazy, I'm just getting in early for Christmas is all...

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Postby theY4Kman » Wed Oct 25, 2006 11:38 am UTC

I've always wanted to get spray paint and paint over the sensor :twisted:
Yeah, that'll be a surprise for anyone :P

It would probably be pretty easy to execute, anyways. I've never seen a camera that looks at the automatic doors. All I need to do is grow.
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Postby sford » Wed Oct 25, 2006 2:46 pm UTC

Kas wrote:One thing I can say that bothers me is when there's a particularly slow automatic door...


I'm particularly impatient and will often push the damn thing with my hands to hasten it's slow open. For the doors that slide apart, I like to imagine I'm a gorilla in a cage bending the bars apart for my escape.

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Postby EvanED » Wed Oct 25, 2006 2:50 pm UTC

Gelsamel wrote:Now all they need is a speaker system so they can voice their concerns.


"If you enjoy your ride which will be swift and pleasurable then you may care to experience some of the other elevators which have recently been installed in the offices of the Galactic Tax Department, Boobiloo Baby Foods and the Sirian State Mental Hospital, where many ex-Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Executives will be delighted to welcome your visits, sympathy and happy tales of life out in the big wide world."


(Surely I can't be the only one thinking of this. For all I know you were when you posted the originial message...)

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Postby Cctoide » Wed Oct 25, 2006 2:55 pm UTC

When I'm idly hanging around automatic doors with low traffic, I usually just stand still right under the sensor and wait for them to close. Then I try to move out of their range without triggering them.

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MrBawn
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Postby MrBawn » Wed Oct 25, 2006 3:27 pm UTC

It took 3 posts for somebody to make a Hitchhiker's Guide reference? Tsk tsk tsk.

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Postby Backlash » Wed Oct 25, 2006 5:30 pm UTC

MrBawn wrote:It took 3 posts for somebody to make a Hitchhiker's Guide reference? Tsk tsk tsk.


I know. That's all I could think about when I read this comic.

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Postby starvingartist » Wed Oct 25, 2006 5:59 pm UTC

I usually find that places with automatic doors, like the supermarket, constantly have people bustling in and out so they rarely close. So luckily I never have to break my stride to wait for them to open, but I do have to wait for the lady with the overrunning shopping cart to move out of the way :(

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Postby theY4Kman » Wed Oct 25, 2006 6:01 pm UTC

Backlash wrote:
MrBawn wrote:It took 3 posts for somebody to make a Hitchhiker's Guide reference? Tsk tsk tsk.

I know. That's all I could think about when I read this comic.

What book is that from? Let's see...The last book I read was the first three combined into the Hitchhiker's Omnibus. Although in my school, I find that most kids don't particularly take too well to the great and humorous statements of Douglas Adams.
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Postby rachel » Wed Oct 25, 2006 9:08 pm UTC

I absolutely despise automatic doors. Every time I have to walk through one, I am afraid that it isn't going to open and that I am going to walk into it. What I hate more than automatic doors, though, are doors that you can pull open but also have a button you can push for handicapped people so they will open automatically. Now, that is all good, yes for handicapped enabled doors, but people with no problems at all with anything will push those buttons, and the doors will open up automatically but really slowly. Why can't they just pull the fucking door handle and go through like a normal person?! Are people seriously that lazy that they do not want to take an extra two seconds and lift their arm up maybe six inches higher to pull the handle? Then they have to wait entirely too long to actually be able to go through the door! Seriously, people. Come on.

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Postby Peshmerga » Wed Oct 25, 2006 9:45 pm UTC

It's more entertaining and gratifying to have something done for you. Variety is the spice of life!

If the norm was pushing buttons to open doors, people would probably push them open given the opportunity.

And then you'd be here again complaining "Well there's a fucking button, why do people waste the time exerting their muscles when they can simply flick a switch?! COME ON PEOPLE!!!"
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Postby lykzomg » Wed Oct 25, 2006 9:48 pm UTC

Me: You think that is some huge conspiricy to use peoples' guilt in order to con them into impulse shopping?

Friend: Sub-concious advertisement? Definitely.

Discuss.

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Postby syntaxers » Wed Oct 25, 2006 10:40 pm UTC

They need automatic doors that won't open if they sense a raptor on the other side. (and don't give raptors any ideas of how to circumvent that protection either, on this forum)

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Postby Ephphatha » Thu Oct 26, 2006 1:01 am UTC

What about a raptor in a human suit?This is just so I don't forget it. Ignore the rest of this line. "This is no time to argue about time. We don't have the time."
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Postby xandah » Thu Oct 26, 2006 4:40 am UTC

My uni has a set of 5 automatic doors along the big front entrance. Certain doors work, some don't. Maybe it depends on the day of the week or the hight of the person.
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Postby rachel » Thu Oct 26, 2006 5:17 am UTC

It is like Russian Roulette, but with automatic doors instead of a gun. And you will probably not die if your door doesn't open.

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Postby xandah » Thu Oct 26, 2006 5:18 am UTC

I saw someone break their nose once.
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Postby svk1325 » Thu Oct 26, 2006 6:16 am UTC

Whenever I walk up to an automatic door, it seems like they take longer to open up than it seems. I usually slow down... only to find that not slowing down would've been fine through the door (like most of you). The different part for me on this topic is one incident at an airport. I just decided to keep walking at my normal speed only to find that I slammed right into the door because it didn't open in time. My older brothers teased me about it all day.

But anyways, here's my thoughts. It seems that humankind as a whole is getting lazier.

"I don't feel like raising my arm and pushing the door to get it open."
"I don't feel like taking the stairs, so I'll take the escalator."
"I don't feel like getting up to change the channel, so I'll use the remote."
etc.

See what I mean? Soon we'll turn into a species fully relying on technology. Then we'll get really fat and obese because we get no exercise except for button pushing. Then average life expectancy will drop from our unhealthy ways. And so the list continues...

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Postby theY4Kman » Thu Oct 26, 2006 11:55 am UTC

svk, we are still talking about what might cause the nonexistance of man. I'm quite sure they're not thinking it will be caused by obesity...We use remotes, yes, but that does not imply that we're going to sit on the couch and do absolutely nothing just because we don't have to get up.

Besides, you should live for the now and the little bit ahead...(Not to mention that we still have third world countries who still haven't seen of or heard of a remote control :D)
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Postby MightyMouse » Thu Oct 26, 2006 3:55 pm UTC

svk1325 wrote:"I don't feel like raising my arm and pushing the door to get it open."
"I don't feel like taking the stairs, so I'll take the escalator."
"I don't feel like getting up to change the channel, so I'll use the remote."
etc.

See what I mean? Soon we'll turn into a species fully relying on technology. Then we'll get really fat and obese because we get no exercise except for button pushing. Then average life expectancy will drop from our unhealthy ways. And so the list continues...


Technology keeps me on my toes I'd say. Loads of people have mentioned having to pay more attention at automatic doors because they don't always open when you think they will, the internet makes you pay more attention to the world as a whole rather than just your locality. There are lots of opportunities for doing more with technology rather than using it to do the same things with less effort.

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Postby Narsil » Thu Oct 26, 2006 7:02 pm UTC

I have always been terrified that the door won't open and I'll walk right into it. Smug little bastards are just waiting for me to drop my guard.

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Postby Belial » Thu Oct 26, 2006 7:28 pm UTC

What about a raptor in a human suit?


PREPOSTEROUS! Ha ha ha ha ha. This could never happen. Ever. Ha ha ha.

Ha.

Ha ha.

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Postby Verysillyman » Thu Oct 26, 2006 8:06 pm UTC

I thought we weren't meant to give them ideas?

I don't think I've ever met a door that could be pushed or buttoned at will. I am, however, not a fan at all, an opposite of a fan even, of doors that have handles on both sides, but can only open one way. There is no need for a handle on the 'push' side fo a door.

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Postby MightyMouse » Thu Oct 26, 2006 8:32 pm UTC

To get to the AV room where I tend to work (listening to gershwin increases my productivity somehow) in our college library you have to go through a glass door that's at a right angle to another door that opens into the same space so you have to try to peer round to make sure no one's coming the other way. This is silly. L2openplan as WoW players would say.

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Postby EvanED » Fri Oct 27, 2006 9:13 am UTC

I just thought of another funny story, this one from a magazine article by Douglas Adams, reprinted in A Salmon of Doubt. Amusingly enough, it has nothing to do with H2G2.

So he was writing about a trip he took to Australia or New Zealand or some place down there, and he was staying at a "resort." (At the time he said it wasn't really the overblown, touristy resort, but a much nicer place. It's out on an island somewhere.) The resort had staff members who would stand by the doors and open them for you as you came by. He said he was told the reason for this was they got a lot of Japanese tourists who were used to automatic doors and would get confused when they went up to a door and it didn't open.

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Postby hermaj » Fri Oct 27, 2006 10:13 am UTC

EvanED wrote:...The resort had staff members who would stand by the doors and open them for you as you came by. He said he was told the reason for this was they got a lot of Japanese tourists who were used to automatic doors and would get confused when they went up to a door and it didn't open.


I actually totally embarrassed myself in that regard... I was in the Museum of Contemporary Art in the city and I went to leave... I stood in front of the door and waited for it to open. It didn't. I then grabbed the handle and tried to slide the door across. Didn't open. This guy then came up, shook his head at me, leant over my shoulder and pushed the door open. It was my next guess!! :oops:

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Postby Charodei » Sat Oct 28, 2006 8:16 pm UTC

theY4Kman wrote:svk, we are still talking about what might cause the nonexistance of man. I'm quite sure they're not thinking it will be caused by obesity...We use remotes, yes, but that does not imply that we're going to sit on the couch and do absolutely nothing just because we don't have to get up.


It will be caused by obesity, because nobody will be able to run from the raptors fast enough. Not even faster than their friends.


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