2060: "Hygrometer"

This forum is for the individual discussion thread that goes with each new comic.

Moderators: Moderators General, Prelates, Magistrates

User avatar
cellocgw
Posts: 1947
Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 7:40 pm UTC

2060: "Hygrometer"

Postby cellocgw » Wed Oct 17, 2018 3:33 pm UTC

Image

Title Text: "I'm working on assembling a combination declinometer, sclerometer, viscometer, aleurometer, stalagmometer, and hypsometer. I'm making good progress according to my ometerometer, a device which shows the rate at which I'm acquiring measurement devices"

FIRST IN:
sarcasmometer. Pronounced "sar-cazz - MOMeter"

A rarely-used device due to a propensity to destructive input overload.
https://app.box.com/witthoftresume
Former OTTer
Vote cellocgw for President 2020. #ScienceintheWhiteHouse http://cellocgw.wordpress.com
"The Planck length is 3.81779e-33 picas." -- keithl
" Earth weighs almost exactly π milliJupiters" -- what-if #146, note 7

User avatar
Soupspoon
You have done something you shouldn't. Or are about to.
Posts: 3672
Joined: Thu Jan 28, 2016 7:00 pm UTC
Location: 53-1

Re: 2060: "Hygrometer"

Postby Soupspoon » Wed Oct 17, 2018 3:40 pm UTC

(Proper-format version deleted, as it's now been (mostly!) corrected.)
My firstpostometer, however, indicated a number of errors with the post I'm replying to, so I'm putting a good version here until Mods can work out what to do.

Never mind, though change those HTMLified apostrophes into natural ones, if that's not the next thing on your list of changes,

User avatar
jc
Posts: 346
Joined: Fri May 04, 2007 5:48 pm UTC
Location: Waltham, Massachusetts, USA, Earth, Solar System, Milky Way Galaxy
Contact:

Re: 2060: "Hygrometer"

Postby jc » Wed Oct 17, 2018 4:10 pm UTC

Soupspoon wrote:(Proper-format version deleted, as it's now been (mostly!) corrected.)

Never mind, though change those HTMLified apostrophes into natural ones, if that's not the next thing on your list of changes,


Hey, I sorta like those &..; thingies; they bring out the inherent kludginess of HTML, as well as the low quality of the software behind most sites like this. ;-)

User avatar
Soupspoon
You have done something you shouldn't. Or are about to.
Posts: 3672
Joined: Thu Jan 28, 2016 7:00 pm UTC
Location: 53-1

Re: 2060: "Hygrometer"

Postby Soupspoon » Wed Oct 17, 2018 4:26 pm UTC

The software isn't low-quality. It's rendering input text as it was input, by way of the route that other truly literal text has to travel via HTTP's sending and retrieval paths. Formatting markup is deliberately BBCode, not HTML. It's possible that it might be told to directly use <em>some</em> web hypertext stuff (did it?) and can be filtered to make it BBCode in the 'official' plaintext copy ready to be backconverted, but once we start with conversions and back-conversions we're also liable to see abominations such as &amp;amp;, &amp;cetera, because of changing ideas of literalism.

(And this fuss is because the charset and span of reserved characters used behind your browser's appreciation of a fetched page is simpler than that which the forum layer sat atop it can handle, at least one OSI level above the HTML one. Kludgy HTML, I wouldn't argue, but most forum software is vastly more flexible, such that it has to be locked down from its full string-handling caoabilitiea to prevent arbitrary exploits. Hence why I'd probably have a hard time putting an aubergine emoji here, I suspect, should I want to.)

Edit: Whoops! I just overloaded my explanometer! And the em-tag wasn't passed through 'naturally', but was (quite rightly, on general principle) protected against by making it the literal text (via &lt; and &gt; conversion) it was deemed to need to be.

User avatar
Flumble
Yes Man
Posts: 2076
Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2012 9:35 pm UTC

Re: 2060: "Hygrometer"

Postby Flumble » Wed Oct 17, 2018 4:33 pm UTC

killometer

SuicideJunkie
Posts: 337
Joined: Sun Feb 22, 2015 2:40 pm UTC

Re: 2060: "Hygrometer"

Postby SuicideJunkie » Wed Oct 17, 2018 5:38 pm UTC

Always be suspicious of people who are using speedometers at the beach.

sociotard
Posts: 68
Joined: Sun Feb 13, 2011 11:25 pm UTC

Re: 2060: "Hygrometer"

Postby sociotard » Wed Oct 17, 2018 5:40 pm UTC

My I interest you in this book of poetry in Iambic Pentameter?

User avatar
cellocgw
Posts: 1947
Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 7:40 pm UTC

Re: 2060: "Hygrometer"

Postby cellocgw » Wed Oct 17, 2018 6:06 pm UTC

sociotard wrote:My I interest you in this book of poetry in Iambic Pentameter?


well, ... not really
https://app.box.com/witthoftresume
Former OTTer
Vote cellocgw for President 2020. #ScienceintheWhiteHouse http://cellocgw.wordpress.com
"The Planck length is 3.81779e-33 picas." -- keithl
" Earth weighs almost exactly π milliJupiters" -- what-if #146, note 7

User avatar
Sableagle
Ormurinn's Alt
Posts: 1905
Joined: Sat Jun 13, 2015 4:26 pm UTC
Location: The wrong side of the mirror
Contact:

Re: 2060: "Hygrometer"

Postby Sableagle » Wed Oct 17, 2018 6:10 pm UTC

I have a large collection of nanometers I'd be willing to share.
Oh, Willie McBride, it was all done in vain.

User avatar
Flumble
Yes Man
Posts: 2076
Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2012 9:35 pm UTC

Re: 2060: "Hygrometer"

Postby Flumble » Wed Oct 17, 2018 6:19 pm UTC

Sableagle wrote:I have a large collection of nanometers I'd be willing to share.

I bet they go off the charts in an elderly home.

User avatar
da Doctah
Posts: 916
Joined: Fri Feb 03, 2012 6:27 am UTC

Re: 2060: "Hygrometer"

Postby da Doctah » Wed Oct 17, 2018 6:24 pm UTC

In one of my calculus classes, the professor offered us extra credit on an assignment if we could name a device used for direct measurement of arc length. He refused to accept my response of "opisometer", even after I brought one, in its case, to class.

(I think it later developed he was looking for "spline".)

User avatar
orthogon
Posts: 2993
Joined: Thu May 17, 2012 7:52 am UTC
Location: The Airy 1830 ellipsoid

Re: 2060: "Hygrometer"

Postby orthogon » Wed Oct 17, 2018 7:07 pm UTC

Flumble wrote:
Sableagle wrote:I have a large collection of nanometers I'd be willing to share.

I bet they go off the charts in an elderly home.

:) Seriously, though, a micrometer is a thing (for measuring in the micrometre range), so why shouldn't there be a nanometer? (I guess British English is unusual in having distinct spellings. Other languages tend to go for -er or -re for both the unit and the instrument. It's almost as though we want to be both in and out of Europe at the same time...).
xtifr wrote:... and orthogon merely sounds undecided.

User avatar
Heimhenge
Posts: 247
Joined: Thu May 01, 2014 11:35 pm UTC

Re: 2060: "Hygrometer"

Postby Heimhenge » Wed Oct 17, 2018 7:35 pm UTC

orthogon wrote:
Flumble wrote:
Sableagle wrote:I have a large collection of nanometers I'd be willing to share.

I bet they go off the charts in an elderly home.

:) Seriously, though, a micrometer is a thing (for measuring in the micrometre range), so why shouldn't there be a nanometer? (I guess British English is unusual in having distinct spellings. Other languages tend to go for -er or -re for both the unit and the instrument. It's almost as though we want to be both in and out of Europe at the same time...).


So my "caliper" should be a "centometer". Or maybe a "millometer".

User avatar
ucim
Posts: 6567
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2012 3:23 pm UTC
Location: The One True Thread

Re: 2060: "Hygrometer"

Postby ucim » Wed Oct 17, 2018 7:37 pm UTC

Heimhenge wrote:So my "caliper" should be a "centometer".
No, a centometer counts low-denomination coins. And a millometer counts grain processing plants.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

The Devils Engineer
Posts: 34
Joined: Tue Aug 05, 2014 4:44 am UTC
Location: San Diego, CA

Re: 2060: "Hygrometer"

Postby The Devils Engineer » Wed Oct 17, 2018 7:42 pm UTC

This comic has to be directed towards me. I own multiple micrometers, a chronometer and really really want a barometer. Not the electronic kind but a real, honest to goodness mercury stick one. And the chronometer, a 1940's Hamilton Watch Company made one, is one of the most beautifully made mechanical clocks every made.
“When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.”
“The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.”

― Mark Twain

SuicideJunkie
Posts: 337
Joined: Sun Feb 22, 2015 2:40 pm UTC

Re: 2060: "Hygrometer"

Postby SuicideJunkie » Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:38 pm UTC

ucim wrote:No, a centometer counts low-denomination coins. And a millometer counts grain processing plants.
Jose
Those dollar-store millometers are a waste of money.
On the other hand, a professional grade millometer will take the quality, size, and duty cycle of the mills into account.

PS:
I can't wait until advances in technology allow megameters to be miniaturized to the point where we can all have one in our garages.
The BBC has been broadcasting the ads for decades, but these things always seem to remain another 20 years away.

User avatar
ucim
Posts: 6567
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2012 3:23 pm UTC
Location: The One True Thread

Re: 2060: "Hygrometer"

Postby ucim » Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:46 pm UTC

SuicideJunkie wrote:I can't wait until advances in technology allow megameters to be miniaturized to the point where we can all have one in our garages.
The BBC has been broadcasting the ads for decades, but these things always seem to remain another 20 years away.
That explains a lot of politics. The US media has been deploying magameters instead.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

User avatar
JohnTheWysard
Posts: 101
Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2008 2:38 am UTC

Re: 2060: "Hygrometer"

Postby JohnTheWysard » Wed Oct 17, 2018 9:22 pm UTC

If you manage to find an altheliometer, be sure you understand how to use it properly before you get into trouble.

J%r
Posts: 36
Joined: Sun Aug 16, 2015 12:02 pm UTC

Re: 2060: "Hygrometer"

Postby J%r » Wed Oct 17, 2018 9:25 pm UTC

I have a meter that measures a character in Star Trek: DS9. Or was it overdoses? I forgot, I left it in the car.

speising
Posts: 2282
Joined: Mon Sep 03, 2012 4:54 pm UTC
Location: wien

Re: 2060: "Hygrometer"

Postby speising » Wed Oct 17, 2018 9:59 pm UTC

J%r wrote:I have a meter that measures a character in Star Trek: DS9. Or was it overdoses? I forgot, I left it in the car.

no, that's for measuring how much you stink.

User avatar
Pfhorrest
Posts: 4970
Joined: Fri Oct 30, 2009 6:11 am UTC
Contact:

Re: 2060: "Hygrometer"

Postby Pfhorrest » Wed Oct 17, 2018 10:19 pm UTC

JohnTheWysard wrote:If you manage to find an altheliometer, be sure you understand how to use it properly before you get into trouble.

Alethiometer. From "alethos", truth.
Forrest Cameranesi, Geek of All Trades
"I am Sam. Sam I am. I do not like trolls, flames, or spam."
The Codex Quaerendae (my philosophy) - The Chronicles of Quelouva (my fiction)

User avatar
Soupspoon
You have done something you shouldn't. Or are about to.
Posts: 3672
Joined: Thu Jan 28, 2016 7:00 pm UTC
Location: 53-1

Re: 2060: "Hygrometer"

Postby Soupspoon » Wed Oct 17, 2018 10:30 pm UTC

J%r wrote:I have a meter that measures a character in Star Trek: DS9.

That'd be a Mil(esO'Brien)ometer, yes? Or does one perchance mean someone, if not -thing, else? ;)

User avatar
Pfhorrest
Posts: 4970
Joined: Fri Oct 30, 2009 6:11 am UTC
Contact:

Re: 2060: "Hygrometer"

Postby Pfhorrest » Wed Oct 17, 2018 10:49 pm UTC

An odometer measures samples of things to identify them, but always outputs "unknown".

It's not a very useful meter.
Forrest Cameranesi, Geek of All Trades
"I am Sam. Sam I am. I do not like trolls, flames, or spam."
The Codex Quaerendae (my philosophy) - The Chronicles of Quelouva (my fiction)

cphoenix
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Apr 18, 2011 2:45 pm UTC

Re: 2060: "Hygrometer"

Postby cphoenix » Wed Oct 17, 2018 11:08 pm UTC

Then I saw this article on photochemistry in an NMR analysis setup http://blogs.sciencemag.org/pipeline/archives/2018/10/17/blue-light-coming-out-of-the-nmr...

which led to this abstract: https://pubs.acs.org/doi/10.1021/acs.orglett.8b00391...

which contains the phrase "well-known chemical actinometers potassium ferrioxalate and o-nitrobenzaldehyde"

If Randall needs to own anything with "ometer" in the name, he'd better get friendly with a chemical supply house! On the other hand, he did specify "device" and it's arguable whether (most) chemicals are devices or not.

qvxb
Posts: 153
Joined: Mon Sep 19, 2016 10:20 pm UTC

Re: 2060: "Hygrometer"

Postby qvxb » Wed Oct 17, 2018 11:23 pm UTC

"My I interest you in this book of poetry in Iambic Pentameter?"

Iambic - therefore I write - inexpensively.

leeharveyosmond
Posts: 44
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 2010 11:03 pm UTC

Re: 2060: "Hygrometer"

Postby leeharveyosmond » Thu Oct 18, 2018 12:33 am UTC

JohnTheWysard wrote:If you manage to find an altheliometer, be sure you understand how to use it properly before you get into trouble.


Sooner an atheliometer than a swingometer

Mikeski
Posts: 1039
Joined: Sun Jan 13, 2008 7:24 am UTC
Location: Minnesota, USA

Re: 2060: "Hygrometer"

Postby Mikeski » Thu Oct 18, 2018 12:54 am UTC

Micrometers, nanometers, those I like. But Randall can have my picometer. It's too hard to use, since it measures how many times you've observed it measuring things.

It's like quantum mechanics in reverse; it's only in a known state when it's not being observed.

User avatar
Pfhorrest
Posts: 4970
Joined: Fri Oct 30, 2009 6:11 am UTC
Contact:

Re: 2060: "Hygrometer"

Postby Pfhorrest » Thu Oct 18, 2018 1:47 am UTC

"Picometer" as an instrument rather than a measurement (different pronunciation, naturally) sounds like it should measure chicken sounds.

pək pək pək pə 'kɔ mə dɹ

("puk puk puk puKAWmeter" for the philistines)
Forrest Cameranesi, Geek of All Trades
"I am Sam. Sam I am. I do not like trolls, flames, or spam."
The Codex Quaerendae (my philosophy) - The Chronicles of Quelouva (my fiction)

User avatar
Old Bruce
Posts: 166
Joined: Tue Jun 28, 2016 2:27 pm UTC

Re: 2060: "Hygrometer"

Postby Old Bruce » Thu Oct 18, 2018 1:50 am UTC

Flumble wrote:
Sableagle wrote:I have a large collection of nanometers I'd be willing to share.

I bet they go off the charts in an elderly home.

Huh?
... unless you meant home for the aged in which case ... Groan.

User avatar
da Doctah
Posts: 916
Joined: Fri Feb 03, 2012 6:27 am UTC

Re: 2060: "Hygrometer"

Postby da Doctah » Thu Oct 18, 2018 4:05 am UTC

Soupspoon wrote:
J%r wrote:I have a meter that measures a character in Star Trek: DS9.

That'd be a Mil(esO'Brien)ometer, yes? Or does one perchance mean someone, if not -thing, else? ;)

My nogometer only gets used around New Year's Eve.

Ae7flux
Posts: 24
Joined: Tue Feb 18, 2014 10:45 am UTC

Re: 2060: "Hygrometer"

Postby Ae7flux » Thu Oct 18, 2018 6:18 am UTC

Surely a Picometer is a device to measure the number of times the bridge crew perform the Picard maneuver in any given episode of STTNG.
There is an x such that x entirely fails to signify just in case x lacks a specific combination of rotary and reciprocating motion.

User avatar
Soupspoon
You have done something you shouldn't. Or are about to.
Posts: 3672
Joined: Thu Jan 28, 2016 7:00 pm UTC
Location: 53-1

Re: 2060: "Hygrometer"

Postby Soupspoon » Thu Oct 18, 2018 9:58 am UTC

It measures a variety of chips, surely. (Silicon ones. Not the ones that aren't fries or aren't crisps.)

User avatar
Sableagle
Ormurinn's Alt
Posts: 1905
Joined: Sat Jun 13, 2015 4:26 pm UTC
Location: The wrong side of the mirror
Contact:

Re: 2060: "Hygrometer"

Postby Sableagle » Thu Oct 18, 2018 10:23 am UTC

I heard of a proposed design my a Yattometer to measure how Louisianan someone's speech patterns are, but the whole thing was more than I could take in.

Spoiler:
From people who, instead of asking "Where are you?" ask "Where (are) you at?" and pronounce it "We're yatt."
Oh, Willie McBride, it was all done in vain.

rmsgrey
Posts: 3460
Joined: Wed Nov 16, 2011 6:35 pm UTC

Re: 2060: "Hygrometer"

Postby rmsgrey » Thu Oct 18, 2018 4:37 pm UTC

orthogon wrote:(I guess British English is unusual in having distinct spellings. Other languages tend to go for -er or -re for both the unit and the instrument. It's almost as though we want to be both in and out of Europe at the same time...).

You put your left wing in; you put your right wing out; in; out; in; out; shake it all about...

ijuin
Posts: 909
Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 6:02 pm UTC

Re: 2060: "Hygrometer"

Postby ijuin » Thu Oct 18, 2018 6:05 pm UTC

You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around. That’s what it’s all about.

User avatar
Archgeek
Posts: 200
Joined: Wed May 02, 2007 6:00 am UTC
Location: Central US
Contact:

Re: 2060: "Hygrometer"

Postby Archgeek » Fri Oct 19, 2018 3:15 pm UTC

rmsgrey wrote:
orthogon wrote:(I guess British English is unusual in having distinct spellings. Other languages tend to go for -er or -re for both the unit and the instrument. It's almost as though we want to be both in and out of Europe at the same time...).

You put your left wing in; you put your right wing out; in; out; in; out; shake it all about...

ijuin wrote:You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around. That’s what it’s all about.

... *Pictures a circle of birds with an old phonograph dancing the Hokey Pokey*
"That big tube down the side was officially called a "systems tunnel", which is aerospace contractor speak for "big tube down the side."


Return to “Individual XKCD Comic Threads”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: mscha and 40 guests