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1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Posted: Fri Mar 10, 2017 1:23 pm UTC
by thunk
Image

Alt-text: "The phone will be collected by the toll operators and mailed back to you within 4-6 weeks."

Yeah, but does it comply with the sticker-tolling standards for those of us in the Sunbelt?

Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Posted: Fri Mar 10, 2017 1:26 pm UTC
by drazen
Do any toll booths even have the coin buckets anymore? All I ever see anymore is Cash Only with an attendant, E-Z Pass lanes, or pure electronic tolling.

I remember buying tokens to get the discount, then mastering being able to hit the bucket while rolling through fairly quickly, but that useless talent was rendered obsolete with E-Z Pass (or "SunPass" in Florida).

Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Posted: Fri Mar 10, 2017 1:40 pm UTC
by Soupspoon
Ha! Not ePaper, but newsPaper!

And I was reading about LORAN, again, not that long ago...

Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Posted: Fri Mar 10, 2017 1:55 pm UTC
by Wee Red Bird
The toll booths for the Dartford Crossing (down somewhere in England) no longer uses cash or electronic passes. It uses your numberplate and bills you later. If you don't sign in to their website and pay your toll within a few weeks, they issue you with a fine.

The phone itself needs more ports. Or less ports. Ports!!!!!!

Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Posted: Fri Mar 10, 2017 2:09 pm UTC
by cellocgw
Anyone beside me read "IBM Buckling-Spring" as a reference to a design or patent owned by IBM based on research by Messrs Buckling and Spring?


Wee Red Bird wrote:The phone itself needs more ports. Or less ports. Ports!!!!!!


I'd like at least two ports: Warre's and some Ruby. Not to be confused with a virtual port of your code to Ruby

Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Posted: Fri Mar 10, 2017 2:15 pm UTC
by Scott Auld
I lost it at the squelch knob.

Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Posted: Fri Mar 10, 2017 2:20 pm UTC
by Soupspoon
Scott Auld wrote:I lost it at the squelch knob.

Sssshhhhhh!

Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Posted: Fri Mar 10, 2017 3:51 pm UTC
by orthogon
I thought "cot-caught" was something to do with fishing methods. "Yah, I only ever buy cot-caught sea bass. It's delicious served on a bed of quinoa".

Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Posted: Fri Mar 10, 2017 4:59 pm UTC
by Pfhorrest
You mean a cot of quinoa? (Or perhaps a hammock...?)

Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Posted: Fri Mar 10, 2017 5:14 pm UTC
by Zinho
Would a Model-M style key on a smartphone have a short enough stroke length to allow for Morse as an input method? There should totally be an app for that :twisted:

Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Posted: Fri Mar 10, 2017 5:30 pm UTC
by Valentiores
Is the hook shot a reference to Zelda games, or something else?

Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Posted: Fri Mar 10, 2017 5:30 pm UTC
by TheEngineer
Wee Red Bird wrote:The toll booths for the Dartford Crossing (down somewhere in England) no longer uses cash or electronic passes. It uses your numberplate and bills you later. If you don't sign in to their website and pay your toll within a few weeks, they issue you with a fine.

The phone itself needs more ports. Or less ports. Ports!!!!!!

A few WEEKS! .... You have until midnight the following day!
And where's the Centronics parallel printer port gone? I think I'll keep my xkcd Phone 4 for now.

Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Posted: Fri Mar 10, 2017 5:38 pm UTC
by ps.02
Yeah, but is this thing tempting enough to buy this instead of health insurance?
(Insert outdated joke about nerd gear obviating affordable prescription contraception.)
I dunno, that Model M home button sounds pretty sweet.

Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Posted: Fri Mar 10, 2017 5:40 pm UTC
by Bounty
TheEngineer wrote:And where's the Centronics parallel printer port gone? I think I'll keep my xkcd Phone 4 for now.
Scott Auld wrote:I lost it at the squelch knob.


It has HOOK SHOT! All we need is a Wrist Mounted case and we've got a serviceable Bat Cable replacement!

Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Posted: Fri Mar 10, 2017 5:50 pm UTC
by da Doctah
Pfhorrest wrote:You mean a cot of quinoa? (Or perhaps a hammock...?)


No, the Bed of Quinoa was a rock formation given mythological significance by the ancient Etruscans. Unfortunately, since there are no long any Etruscans around, nobody today has any idea what that significance was.

Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Posted: Fri Mar 10, 2017 5:56 pm UTC
by Keyman
orthogon wrote:I thought "cot-caught" was something to do with fishing methods. "Yah, I only ever buy cot-caught sea bass. It's delicious served on a bed of quinoa".

I thought it was a thing to help us out with all the accent/pronunciation differences we got-gaught going on here at times. :)

Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Posted: Fri Mar 10, 2017 7:41 pm UTC
by Soupspoon
Keyman wrote:
orthogon wrote:I thought "cot-caught" was something to do with fishing methods. "Yah, I only ever buy cot-caught sea bass. It's delicious served on a bed of quinoa".

I thought it was a thing to help us out with all the accent/pronunciation differences we got-gaught going on here at times. :)

It ot to be!

Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Posted: Fri Mar 10, 2017 7:47 pm UTC
by abridgerToNi
Soupspoon wrote:
Keyman wrote:I thought it was a thing to help us out with all the accent/pronunciation differences we got-gaught going on here at times. :)

It ot to be!

I dunno, I think it's just a spell-checker for that one tiny error.

Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Posted: Fri Mar 10, 2017 11:37 pm UTC
by HES
Wee Red Bird wrote:The toll booths for the Dartford Crossing (down somewhere in England) no longer uses cash or electronic passes. It uses your numberplate and bills you later.

As do most of the road tolls in Norway. At least with those ones you do have weeks to pay.

Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2017 12:02 am UTC
by azule
Pokémon reference. Eating them. Is that also a PETA reference?

Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2017 5:02 am UTC
by RogueCynic
Let me know when the XKCD phone is advanced enough to connect my Palm Pilot VX.

Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2017 5:02 am UTC
by Mikeski
Zinho wrote:Would a Model-M style key on a smartphone have a short enough stroke length to allow for Morse as an input method? There should totally be an app for that :twisted:

Not surprisingly, there are apps for that. Google "iphone morse code keyboard". Telekey, Morseboard, iDitDah...

(I'm sure there are similar apps for phones other than i, also.)

Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2017 5:45 am UTC
by ManaUser
The retina storage tray is the best feature. We all know that password reuse is a big problem, but when it comes to biometrics, few people use a unique retina for each party they want to authenticate with. I feel this is mainly because carrying extra retinas has been such a hassle in the past. I'm glad someone has finally solved this problem.

Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2017 11:17 am UTC
by Soupspoon
ManaUser wrote:The retina storage tray is the best feature. We all know that password reuse is a big problem, but when it comes to biometrics, few people use a unique retina for each party they want to authenticate with. I feel this is mainly because carrying extra retinas has been such a hassle in the past. I'm glad someone has finally solved this problem.


I currently use my left eye for work-related logins, my right eye for leisure/entertainment logins and my third eye for all those spirituality bunkum sites that I like trolling...

Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 1:47 pm UTC
by Muswell
ManaUser wrote:The retina storage tray is the best feature. We all know that password reuse is a big problem, but when it comes to biometrics, few people use a unique retina for each party they want to authenticate with. I feel this is mainly because carrying extra retinas has been such a hassle in the past. I'm glad someone has finally solved this problem.


For me it's never so much been carrying extras that's been a problem as the hassle of having to replace them every three months, which my work's systems insist on.

Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 3:40 pm UTC
by Mikeski
Muswell wrote:
ManaUser wrote:The retina storage tray is the best feature. We all know that password reuse is a big problem, but when it comes to biometrics, few people use a unique retina for each party they want to authenticate with. I feel this is mainly because carrying extra retinas has been such a hassle in the past. I'm glad someone has finally solved this problem.

For me it's never so much been carrying extras that's been a problem as the hassle of having to replace them every three months, which my work's systems insist on.

The retina strength requirements are what bother me. "Must have at least two eye colors; must include one non-mammalian eye; cannot reuse any of the past twelve eyes..."

Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 7:05 pm UTC
by Old Bruce
Mikeski wrote:
Muswell wrote:
ManaUser wrote:The retina storage tray is the best feature. We all know that password reuse is a big problem, but when it comes to biometrics, few people use a unique retina for each party they want to authenticate with. I feel this is mainly because carrying extra retinas has been such a hassle in the past. I'm glad someone has finally solved this problem.

For me it's never so much been carrying extras that's been a problem as the hassle of having to replace them every three months, which my work's systems insist on.

The retina strength requirements are what bother me. "Must have at least two eye colors; must include one non-mammalian eye; cannot reuse any of the past twelve eyes..."

Would it be correct to have a battery of horse irises stapled to the phone?

edit for typo.

Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 11:59 pm UTC
by gd1

Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2017 4:38 am UTC
by iabervon
Personally, I'm holding out for one with a dome-switch touch screen.

Re: 1809: "xkcd Phone 5"

Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2017 8:23 am UTC
by Wee Red Bird
TheEngineer wrote:A few WEEKS! .... You have until midnight the following day!


I've avoided the area for quite a few years now, though I did have a DartTag at one point.