1470: "Kix"

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1470: "Kix"

Postby Dr What » Wed Jan 07, 2015 5:51 am UTC

Image
title="My parents sent me to several years of intensive Kix test prep."

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Re: 1470: "Kix"

Postby PracticalM » Wed Jan 07, 2015 6:02 am UTC

I've had it with these mother fucking Kix on this mother fucking plane.

Not sure why I had to say that but it was funny to me at the time.

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Re: 1470: "Kix"

Postby Eternal Density » Wed Jan 07, 2015 6:44 am UTC

What's a Kix??
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Re: 1470: "Kix"

Postby Angua » Wed Jan 07, 2015 6:49 am UTC

Type of cereal. Slogan: Kid tested, mother approved.
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Re: 1470: "Kix"

Postby Pfhorrest » Wed Jan 07, 2015 7:01 am UTC

I like to get my Kix out on Route 66.
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Re: 1470: "Kix"

Postby Story » Wed Jan 07, 2015 7:18 am UTC

So that's where that came from. I only know about it due to Cards Against Humanity, where "Kid tested, mother approved" ended up paired with "a coathanger".

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Re: 1470: "Kix"

Postby azule » Wed Jan 07, 2015 8:01 am UTC

How is Kix not everywhere? Maybe you xuys have differently named clone?

Story wrote:So that's where that came from. I only know about it due to Cards Against Humanity, where "Kid tested, mother approved" ended up paired with "a coathanger".
Cheerful. "Coathangers", they're triangulartastic!
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Re: 1470: "Kix"

Postby mric » Wed Jan 07, 2015 8:04 am UTC

I don't mind XKCD comics that I don't get because I don't know something even slightly worth knowing. I get mildly bored by the few that require the reader to have lived in the US. 30% of the readership (from outside the US, info from Alexa) will look at this comic and give a disappointed shrug.

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Re: 1470: "Kix"

Postby Khrushy » Wed Jan 07, 2015 8:36 am UTC

mric wrote:30% of the readership (from outside the US, info from Alexa) will look at this comic and give a disappointed shrug.


Never fear, a few of us will come here for the salvation of learning wtf a Kix is.

And then likely never use that information again.
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Re: 1470: "Kix"

Postby da Doctah » Wed Jan 07, 2015 8:38 am UTC

Don't it seem like Kix just keep gettin' harder to find?

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Re: 1470: "Kix"

Postby Eternal Density » Wed Jan 07, 2015 8:46 am UTC

azule wrote:How is Kix not everywhere? Maybe you xuys have differently named clone?
Since I have no idea what Kix is made of, I have equally no idea whether we have a clone.
*looks at wikipedia*
In 2015, popular webcomic xkcd featured a play on one of the advertising slogans for Kix.[5]
Well that was fast.
Maybe I've seen something similar to that, but I'm not sure. Certainly it's not in regular distribution.
*looks up Kix clones*
"Kix" was the nickname of a clone trooper medic who served in the 501st Legion, a unit in the Galactic Republic's Grand Army, during the Clone Wars.
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Re: 1470: "Kix"

Postby azule » Wed Jan 07, 2015 8:59 am UTC

Sorry. Funny clone find. The answer, btw, is any non flavored, non ring, cereal balls, I think made of corn. I didn't look it up. Well, lemme check my kitchen....
yep, "crispy corn puffs". I'm eating them dry now. *munch*
See, the selling point is their taste (I liked them as a kid) but without added flavor and sugar. Eh, it might have added sugar. *munch* My baby is eating them now too. Yes, the ads don't lie. .....except that I'm not the mother. *BUMBUMBUM!*

da Doctah wrote:Don't it seem like Kix just keep gettin' harder to find?
Honey Kix. Yes.
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Re: 1470: "Kix"

Postby The Moomin » Wed Jan 07, 2015 9:13 am UTC

Eternal Density wrote:What's a Kix??


I think the closest UK equivalent would be Nestlé's Golden Nuggets.

This is based on them looking similar on the cereal boxes and limited ingredients description on Wikipedia.
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Re: 1470: "Kix"

Postby orthogon » Wed Jan 07, 2015 9:19 am UTC

azule wrote:How is Kix not everywhere? Maybe you xuys have differently named clone?

I dunno, maybe because we're just not that into corn (which we call maize). IIRC from my GCSE History, maize was crucial in cultivating the American West because it grows better in the dry conditions the early settlers encountered, and is a much more important staple in the Americas than it is in Europe. Over here, it's more of an exotic vegetable, used as a salad ingredient ("sweetcorn"); in the form of popcorn, which is illegal except when watching a movie (which we call a "film"); or grilled and eaten whole ("corn on the cob"). That said, we do have cornflakes. "Corn" for us always used to mean wheat, though of course this is changing as the Englishes of the world converge.

(To be honest I'm not sure that my GCSE History teachers appreciated this: certainly they never explained that this "corn" stuff was actually maize).

I had a lot of trouble trying to parse the slogan. First attempt was "the kid was/has been tested". If I wanted to convey "tested by [a] kid[s]", I'd have gone for "kid-tested".

Edit: oh, right, that's kind of the joke in the title text.
Last edited by orthogon on Wed Jan 07, 2015 11:53 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: 1470: "Kix"

Postby biohazard » Wed Jan 07, 2015 10:03 am UTC

orthogon wrote:
azule wrote:How is Kix not everywhere? Maybe you xuys have differently named clone?

I dunno, maybe because we're just not that into corn (which we call maize). IIRC from my GCSE History, maize was crucial in cultivating the American West because it grows better in the dry conditions the early settlers encountered, and is a much more important staple in the Americas than it is in Europe. Over here, it's more of an exotic vegetable, used as a salad ingredient ("sweetcorn"); in the form of popcorn, which is illegal except when watching a movie (which we call a "film"); or grilled and eaten whole ("corn on the cob"). That said, we do have cornflakes. "Corn" for us always used to mean wheat, though of course this is changing as the Englishes of the world converge.

(To be honest I'm not sure that my GCSE History teachers appreciated this: certainly they never explained that this "corn" stuff was actually maize).

I had a lot of trouble trying to parse the slogan. First attempt was "the kid was/has been tested". If I wanted to convey "tested by [a] kid[s]", I'd have gone for "kid-tested".


As some one who lives in the midwest I'll just state that corn takes much more water then wheat to grow I've got family in western kansas who farm and if you want to grow corn there you require irrigation yet wheat grows just fine if you let the field rest a year between crops and recoup moisture.

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Re: 1470: "Kix"

Postby JeromeWest » Wed Jan 07, 2015 10:05 am UTC

Eternal Density wrote:What's a Kix??


Silly rabbit - Kix are for trids.

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Re: 1470: "Kix"

Postby Neil_Boekend » Wed Jan 07, 2015 10:28 am UTC

Most of the world does not have such extreme subsidies on corn. We waste our tax money in completely different ways.
This makes corn more expensive, thus we use sugar instead of HFCS in our coke and corn flakes are more expensive here. Most people I know eat bread for breakfast.
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Re: 1470: "Kix"

Postby Eutychus » Wed Jan 07, 2015 10:53 am UTC

Eternal Density wrote:*looks at wikipedia*
In 2015, popular webcomic xkcd featured a play on one of the advertising slogans for Kix.[5]
Well that was fast.

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Re: 1470: "Kix"

Postby Schumi » Wed Jan 07, 2015 10:55 am UTC

Oh, it's a breakfast cereal. Google gave me a TV channel, an 80s rock band and an e-cigarette company (that would have been dark!).

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Re: 1470: "Kix"

Postby azule » Wed Jan 07, 2015 11:29 am UTC

Kix sounds like kids, but with an x, because an x is a cool kid thing.

Doing something for kicks (or kix, cuz I said so) might also be related.

Instead of "it's the shit", you could say "it's the kix". You could...but no one would. I just made that one up.

Kix (kicks) is also a possible means for abortion. Coathangers being another. This line is incredibly dark. Blame that one xuy who brought it up first. Then blame me for continuing to bring it up.... Uh.....
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Re: 1470: "Kix"

Postby chalkie » Wed Jan 07, 2015 11:31 am UTC

When I saw "Kix" I immediately thought it was a reference to kixtart, a popular windows scripting language.
I was wrong :-|

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Re: 1470: "Kix"

Postby chalkie » Wed Jan 07, 2015 11:34 am UTC

Is kixtart a portmanteau of Kix and pop-tart ?

(Do they have pop-tarts in the USA?)

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Re: 1470: "Kix"

Postby Flumble » Wed Jan 07, 2015 11:35 am UTC

I've seen that kind of breakfast cereal at some B&Bs in Europe, but can't recall having seen them in stores. Unless... there's this chocolate coated balls, which might be puffed maize. But there's no company called Kix for sure. It's mostly Kellog's, Quaker and store brand breakfast cereal.

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Re: 1470: "Kix"

Postby Klear » Wed Jan 07, 2015 11:41 am UTC

Am I the only one not familiar with the cereal, but who immediately understood what the joke was from context? I didn't know what the exactly the original slogan was, but that doesn't really make this joke worse.

Love the last option. Kid tested, motherfucker!

It also reminded me of this SMBC strip:

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Re: 1470: "Kix"

Postby orthogon » Wed Jan 07, 2015 11:50 am UTC

biohazard wrote:As some one who lives in the midwest I'll just state that corn takes much more water then wheat to grow I've got family in western kansas who farm and if you want to grow corn there you require irrigation yet wheat grows just fine if you let the field rest a year between crops and recoup moisture.

I will gladly bow to your greater knowledge, being almost entirely ignorant of such things and it being more than two decades since I took that course. There must have been some other reason why corn was a better crop to grow. I do remember that the invention of the wind pump was crucial, which confirms that they did have/need irrigation. There was a particular variety of corn, something like "Turkey Red", that was the first variety found to grow there, though Google and/or my memory has failed me.

ETA: Hopefully HES, who did the same GCSE course, will remember...
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Re: 1470: "Kix"

Postby CharlieP » Wed Jan 07, 2015 11:58 am UTC

orthogon wrote:
azule wrote:How is Kix not everywhere? Maybe you xuys have differently named clone?

I dunno, maybe because we're just not that into corn (which we call maize). IIRC from my GCSE History, maize was crucial in cultivating the American West because it grows better in the dry conditions the early settlers encountered, and is a much more important staple in the Americas than it is in Europe. Over here, it's more of an exotic vegetable, used as a salad ingredient ("sweetcorn"); in the form of popcorn, which is illegal except when watching a movie (which we call a "film"); or grilled and eaten whole ("corn on the cob"). That said, we do have cornflakes. "Corn" for us always used to mean wheat, though of course this is changing as the Englishes of the world converge.

(To be honest I'm not sure that my GCSE History teachers appreciated this: certainly they never explained that this "corn" stuff was actually maize).


Hmmm. I sat one of the first ever GCSE exams (though I did the bulk of them a year later), and I'm sure I've only ever known "corn" (the yellow squares, sometimes kept together on a cylinder) and "wheat" (the stuff you make bread from). Maize is a word I've very rarely encountered in my 41 years.
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Re: 1470: "Kix"

Postby CharlieP » Wed Jan 07, 2015 12:06 pm UTC

I like to think I don't pay any attention to TV adverts, but I'm sure there was one last night for Kinder chocolate with a very similar slogan.

<Googles>

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However, being neither a kid nor a mum, I think I can resist.
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Re: 1470: "Kix"

Postby Klear » Wed Jan 07, 2015 12:10 pm UTC

CharlieP wrote:I like to think I don't pay any attention to TV adverts, but I'm sure there was one last night for Kinder chocolate with a very similar slogan.

<Googles>

Image

However, being neither a kid nor a mum, I think I can resist.


I tried to fit the things from the comic into this one and got "Invented for kids, fucked by mums".

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Re: 1470: "Kix"

Postby TheEngineer » Wed Jan 07, 2015 12:19 pm UTC

The Moomin wrote:
Eternal Density wrote:What's a Kix??


I think the closest UK equivalent would be Nestlé's Golden Nuggets.

This is based on them looking similar on the cereal boxes and limited ingredients description on Wikipedia.

Golden Nuggets
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Re: 1470: "Kix"

Postby WaltzKing » Wed Jan 07, 2015 12:43 pm UTC

JeromeWest wrote:
Eternal Density wrote:What's a Kix??


Silly rabbit - Kix are for trids.


The punch line is "Silly Abbot, kicks are for trids"

Different cereal, though.

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Re: 1470: "Kix"

Postby HES » Wed Jan 07, 2015 12:53 pm UTC

orthogon wrote:ETA: Hopefully HES, who did the same GCSE course, will remember...

I don't know whether to be impressed or concerned that you remember that.

Anyhow, we spent most lessons watching "Dances with Wolves" or learning what all the bits of Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo are used for, so afraid not.

CharlieP wrote:Maize is a word I've very rarely encountered in my 41 years.

You've never been to the Maize Maze then?
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Re: 1470: "Kix"

Postby cellocgw » Wed Jan 07, 2015 1:04 pm UTC

JeromeWest wrote:
Eternal Density wrote:What's a Kix??


Silly rabbit - Kix are for trids.


Ya beat me to it :D

So the best I can do on short notice is " Mother Of All gutBombs"
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Re: 1470: "Kix"

Postby Moose Anus » Wed Jan 07, 2015 1:31 pm UTC

The Kix slogan has always bothered me. "Kid tested, mother approved." That means the mothers approved it without testing it, and the kids may not have approved of it after doing their testing.
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Re: 1470: "Kix"

Postby mathmannix » Wed Jan 07, 2015 2:07 pm UTC

Flumble wrote:I've seen that kind of breakfast cereal at some B&Bs in Europe, but can't recall having seen them in stores. Unless... there's this chocolate coated balls, which might be puffed maize. But there's no company called Kix for sure. It's mostly Kellog's, Quaker and store brand breakfast cereal.


Here in America, in most grocery stores, there is often a whole aisle (well, one side anyway) of cold breakfast cereal, as opposed to hot cereal (oatmeal, cream of wheat). It is roughly divided in fourths between the three major companies (Kellogg's, Post, and General Mills), with other brands receiving the other fourth (including Quaker and Nestlē). These are all American-based brands, except for Nestlē. The best-selling cereals, especially the most expensive per ounce (the 10-14 ounce boxes) are at eye level, with larger (20-24-ounce) boxes beneath. Store-brand ("generic") knock-offs can be either immediately next to the real best-sellers, or at floor level, depending on the store.

Here are the best-known brands for each of the big 3. (Most have several varieties, like a chocolate version or a frosted version or a "Crunch" version with clusters of honey-nut bits added.)

(NOTE: This is mostly unresearched ... I looked up the companies on Wikipedia, but I call these following the best-selling cereal brands based on how well I remember their advertising. I watch a lot of TV, and I'm pretty sure that the cereals with the most memorable commercials and best-loved mascots are more or less the best-selling cereals, in a cycle of advertising and revenue.)

Kellogg's best-sellers are Apple Jacks, Corn Flakes, Crispix, Frosted Flakes, Froot Loops, Honey Smacks, Raisin Bran*, Rice/Cocoa Krispies, and Special K.

* - all brands have a raisin bran, as this is a generic/untrademarkable name, but Kellogg's is best known.)

Post's best-sellers are Alpha-bits, Golden Crisp, Grape Nuts, Honey Bunches of Oats, Honeycomb, Fruity/Cocoa Pebbles, and Shredded Wheat. (They're definitely in 3rd place, and maybe not even that high up, but are traditionally considered one of the Big 3).

General Mills has some of the best-known brands (at least in America): Cheerios (including many variants; the best-selling after the original would be Honey Nut), Chex (Wheat/Corn/Rice), Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Cocoa Puffs *, Cookie Crisp, Golden Grahams, Kix, Lucky Charms, Total, Trix, and Wheaties. Also, especially around Halloween, there are the "monster cereals": Boo Berry, Count Chocula, and Franken Berry.

* - which looks like Kix except it is chocolate, so it might be what Flumble was referring to?

So... do you have NONE of these GM cereals in other countries? (Cheerios especially sounds British...)

The other well-known breakfast cereals include Cap'n Crunch and Life cereal (both Quaker)... hmm, that's about all the other popular ones I can think of! Some of the cereals above used to be from other companies (Chex was Ralston, Shredded Wheat was Nabisco) before the Big 3 grabbed them up.

EDIT: Oh, and Kix does have two variants: Honey Kix and Berry Berry Kix. AFAIK, there has never been a chocolate version... Each of the Big 3 has their own chocolate cereal (Cocoa Krispies, Cocoa Puffs, and Cocoa Pebbles) and doesn't really need a second.
Last edited by mathmannix on Wed Jan 07, 2015 2:28 pm UTC, edited 7 times in total.
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Re: 1470: "Kix"

Postby orthogon » Wed Jan 07, 2015 2:10 pm UTC

HES wrote:
orthogon wrote:ETA: Hopefully HES, who did the same GCSE course, will remember...

I don't know whether to be impressed or concerned that you remember that.

Frankly, I'm hurt that you didn't. Did our brief exchange last summer mean nothing to you?
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Re: 1470: "Kix"

Postby HES » Wed Jan 07, 2015 4:33 pm UTC

mathmannix wrote:fourths

It intrigues me that you use quarters when referring to money and fourths otherwise. Maybe it's because quarters refer to money.
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Re: 1470: "Kix"

Postby alcore » Wed Jan 07, 2015 4:39 pm UTC

I am so glad that Randall is culturally aware of Samuel L. Jackson.

(Everyone should be. He's awesome.)

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Re: 1470: "Kix"

Postby cellocgw » Wed Jan 07, 2015 5:38 pm UTC

HES wrote:
mathmannix wrote:fourths

It intrigues me that you use quarters when referring to money and fourths otherwise. Maybe it's because quarters refer to money.


Or to portions of a HandEgg game.
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Re: 1470: "Kix"

Postby Klear » Wed Jan 07, 2015 6:26 pm UTC

mathmannix wrote:
Flumble wrote:I've seen that kind of breakfast cereal at some B&Bs in Europe, but can't recall having seen them in stores. Unless... there's this chocolate coated balls, which might be puffed maize. But there's no company called Kix for sure. It's mostly Kellog's, Quaker and store brand breakfast cereal.


Here in America, in most grocery stores, there is often a whole aisle (well, one side anyway) of cold breakfast cereal, as opposed to hot cereal (oatmeal, cream of wheat). It is roughly divided in fourths between the three major companies (Kellogg's, Post, and General Mills), with other brands receiving the other fourth (including Quaker and Nestlē). These are all American-based brands, except for Nestlē. The best-selling cereals, especially the most expensive per ounce (the 10-14 ounce boxes) are at eye level, with larger (20-24-ounce) boxes beneath. Store-brand ("generic") knock-offs can be either immediately next to the real best-sellers, or at floor level, depending on the store.

Here are the best-known brands for each of the big 3. (Most have several varieties, like a chocolate version or a frosted version or a "Crunch" version with clusters of honey-nut bits added.)

(NOTE: This is mostly unresearched ... I looked up the companies on Wikipedia, but I call these following the best-selling cereal brands based on how well I remember their advertising. I watch a lot of TV, and I'm pretty sure that the cereals with the most memorable commercials and best-loved mascots are more or less the best-selling cereals, in a cycle of advertising and revenue.)

Kellogg's best-sellers are Apple Jacks, Corn Flakes, Crispix, Frosted Flakes, Froot Loops, Honey Smacks, Raisin Bran*, Rice/Cocoa Krispies, and Special K.

* - all brands have a raisin bran, as this is a generic/untrademarkable name, but Kellogg's is best known.)

Post's best-sellers are Alpha-bits, Golden Crisp, Grape Nuts, Honey Bunches of Oats, Honeycomb, Fruity/Cocoa Pebbles, and Shredded Wheat. (They're definitely in 3rd place, and maybe not even that high up, but are traditionally considered one of the Big 3).

General Mills has some of the best-known brands (at least in America): Cheerios (including many variants; the best-selling after the original would be Honey Nut), Chex (Wheat/Corn/Rice), Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Cocoa Puffs *, Cookie Crisp, Golden Grahams, Kix, Lucky Charms, Total, Trix, and Wheaties. Also, especially around Halloween, there are the "monster cereals": Boo Berry, Count Chocula, and Franken Berry.

* - which looks like Kix except it is chocolate, so it might be what Flumble was referring to?

So... do you have NONE of these GM cereals in other countries? (Cheerios especially sounds British...)

The other well-known breakfast cereals include Cap'n Crunch and Life cereal (both Quaker)... hmm, that's about all the other popular ones I can think of! Some of the cereals above used to be from other companies (Chex was Ralston, Shredded Wheat was Nabisco) before the Big 3 grabbed them up.

EDIT: Oh, and Kix does have two variants: Honey Kix and Berry Berry Kix. AFAIK, there has never been a chocolate version... Each of the Big 3 has their own chocolate cereal (Cocoa Krispies, Cocoa Puffs, and Cocoa Pebbles) and doesn't really need a second.


This freaks me out. I don't think most people here don't even eat cereal in the morning. Does everybody in USA really have that for breakfast? I thought it was just a hollywood thing somehow.

Edit: We always have a whole aisle of beer, but that's another issue.

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mathmannix
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Re: 1470: "Kix"

Postby mathmannix » Wed Jan 07, 2015 6:35 pm UTC

HES wrote:
mathmannix wrote:fourths

It intrigues me that you use quarters when referring to money and fourths otherwise. Maybe it's because quarters refer to money.


Actually, your post just made me wonder why we don't refer to halves as "seconds". Ordinal numbers are used for the denominator of every other rational fraction... Quarters and fourths are interchangeable for the most part, but in practical usage, yes, it's quarters for the money and parts of a football game, fourths for fractions of just about anything else.

I guess "second half" and "fourth quarter" sound better than "second second" and "fourth fourth"...

Klear wrote:
mathmannix wrote:Here in America
...

This freaks me out. I don't think most people here don't even eat cereal in the morning. Does everybody in USA really have that for breakfast? I thought it was just a hollywood thing somehow.

Edit: We always have a whole aisle of beer, but that's another issue.


Yeah, there's an aisle for beer here too, plus coolers for the already refrigerated beer. Although sales of alcohol vary widely by state - some states allow grocery stores to sell whiskey and rum next to the beer, but other states you have to go to special "ABC" stores to get anything over 5%.
I hear velociraptor tastes like chicken.


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