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1315: "Questions for God"

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 7:04 am UTC
by The Synologist
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Title text: "What sins could possibly darken the heart of a STEAMBOAT? I asked The Shadow, but he says he only covers men."

Had to google Susie's steamboat, never heard of the song myself.
[edit]Oh wait yes I have, I just never knew the proper lyrics haha

When I was reading about the Dyatlov Pass incident for the first time, I thought that if I had only one question that could be answered, it would be about just what the heck happened up there.

The Miracle of the Sun incident would also be high on the list too.

Re: 1315: "Questions for God"

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 7:33 am UTC
by DBPZ
Lisa and another girl sang miss susie in an episode of the Simpsons.

Wendy sang a modified version in the fingerbang episode of southpark.

Re: 1315: "Questions for God"

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 7:50 am UTC
by JustDoug
REPLY TO LAMB': "Because Physics."

I'll have to ask about the steamboat next time I see Him.

Re: 1315: "Questions for God"

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 7:50 am UTC
by BlitzGirl
No steamboats go to heaven.

Actually, I think the song version I heard growing up called it a tugboat instead.
Which made complete sense to me because the only tugboat I knew at the time was Theodore Tugboat, who clearly had no soul.
Spoiler:
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Re: 1315: "Questions for God"

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 7:52 am UTC
by LordHorst
I would ask about the Voynich Manuscript. What's going on with that? Why was it created? And by whom?

Re: 1315: "Questions for God"

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 8:05 am UTC
by orangustang
The steamboat had a sail. A steamboat with a sail is an affront to nature and really pisses God off.

Re: 1315: "Questions for God"

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 8:06 am UTC
by Neil_Boekend
I would ask him to buy me a Mercedes Benz.

Re: 1315: "Questions for God"

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 8:09 am UTC
by Envelope Generator
orangustang wrote:The steamboat had a sail. A steamboat with a sail is an affront to nature and really pisses God off.


We must not forget that urbation of the mast is a mortal sin.

Re: 1315: "Questions for God"

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 8:23 am UTC
by Diadem
Neil_Boekend wrote:I would ask him to buy me a Mercedes Benz.

Win

Re: 1315: "Questions for God"

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 8:34 am UTC
by OP Tipping
Even though I am familiar with the song, I don't get this, really.

Surely her steamboat steamed about the place.

Re: 1315: "Questions for God"

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 9:36 am UTC
by markfiend
The Synologist wrote:When I was reading about the Dyatlov Pass incident for the first time, I thought that if I had only one question that could be answered, it would be about just what the heck happened up there.

Some of what happened at the Dyatlov Pass could (at least partly) be explained by Paradoxical undressing, a fairly common symptom of severe hypothermia.

Me, I want to know what really happened to Betty and Barney Hill on the old Franconia highway.

Re: 1315: "Questions for God"

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 9:48 am UTC
by The Synologist
LordHorst wrote:I would ask about the Voynich Manuscript. What's going on with that? Why was it created? And by whom?

I was thinking of mentioning that too, but I wanted to avoid the obvious replies of xkcd already covering it.

markfiend wrote:
The Synologist wrote:When I was reading about the Dyatlov Pass incident for the first time, I thought that if I had only one question that could be answered, it would be about just what the heck happened up there.

Some of what happened at the Dyatlov Pass could (at least partly) be explained by Paradoxical undressing, a fairly common symptom of severe hypothermia.

I knew about that phenomenon, but Wikipedia said that the footprints they left as they fled the tent showed that they were wearing only socks, a single shoe or barefoot. Also, you'd think it would have mentioned if all their clothes were found discarded around them. Still, even Cracked has taken a shot at debunking its more mysterious qualities, but what I'm most curious about is what made them tear their tent apart and run away in the first place. The explanation in the article just brushes it off as "avalanche", without really clarifying anything.

Re: 1315: "Questions for God"

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 9:54 am UTC
by blowfishhootie
The Synologist wrote:
LordHorst wrote:I would ask about the Voynich Manuscript. What's going on with that? Why was it created? And by whom?

I was thinking of mentioning that too, but I wanted to avoid the obvious replies of xkcd already covering it.


And then you decided to GIVE the obvious reply of "xkcd already covering it."

Re: 1315: "Questions for God"

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 12:20 pm UTC
by madjo
Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men... The Shadow knows...

Re: 1315: "Questions for God"

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 12:45 pm UTC
by cellocgw
"So, God, .... how is a raven like a writing desk? "

"Do Adam and Eve have belly buttons?"

"What is it you dislike so much about the Cubs?"

Re: 1315: "Questions for God"

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 12:58 pm UTC
by CigarDoug
Why did you create THREE different religions, and set them up to constantly be at war with each other?

Re: 1315: "Questions for God"

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 1:06 pm UTC
by BAReFOOt
The Synologist wrote:When I was reading about the Dyatlov Pass incident for the first time, I thought that if I had only one question that could be answered, it would be about just what the heck happened up there.


Alcohol. Case closed. :D

Re: 1315: "Questions for God"

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 1:10 pm UTC
by pachinkoid
why do bad things happen to good people?

Re: 1315: "Questions for God"

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 1:11 pm UTC
by BAReFOOt
The Synologist wrote:The Miracle of the Sun incident would also be high on the list too.


Mass-Hypnosis is considerably easier than you think. Especially when the stuff from a nearby field flies over, and there’s somebody with a suggestive narrative.

Give me a bit of LSD or similar, and maybe a hint of scopolamine, and I can produce another “miracle” anytime.

Wanna bet they all “lost” hours in their mind?

Re: 1315: "Questions for God"

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 1:12 pm UTC
by BAReFOOt
pachinkoid wrote:why do bad things happen to good people?


Your definition of “good” and “bad” is only your own, mate. Nature has no such concepts.

Re: 1315: "Questions for God"

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 1:16 pm UTC
by BAReFOOt
The Synologist wrote:Cracked has taken a shot at debunking its more mysterious qualities


The Synologist wrote:Cracked



The Synologist wrote:debunking


… let me guess…:

They failed.

Re: 1315: "Questions for God"

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 1:17 pm UTC
by cellocgw
CigarDoug wrote:Why did you create THREE different religions, and set them up to constantly be at war with each other?


I'd say your count of religions is off by several hundred.

Besides, the FSM does not engage in petty scrimmages with false religions. Though it's rumored that he plays some mean badminton with Cthulhu on Mondays.

Re: 1315: "Questions for God"

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 1:20 pm UTC
by BAReFOOt
CigarDoug wrote:Why did you create THREE different religions, and set them up to constantly be at war with each other?


I didn’t. You did.

Re: 1315: "Questions for God"

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 2:18 pm UTC
by dp2
"What do you mean? The steamboat is up here with Susie. It's right in the song:

Ms Susie went to Heaven; the steamboat went, too. Hello operator.

Wait, you didn't think....."

Re: 1315: "Questions for God"

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 2:25 pm UTC
by dp2
Envelope Generator wrote:
orangustang wrote:The steamboat had a sail. A steamboat with a sail is an affront to nature and really pisses God off.


We must not forget that urbation of the mast is a mortal sin.

You got me. I was googling "urbation" to see what this sailing term meant.

Anyway, it had a bell, not a sail. The steamboat didn't go to hail.

Re: 1315: "Questions for God"

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 2:31 pm UTC
by blowfishhootie
BAReFOOt wrote:
The Synologist wrote:The Miracle of the Sun incident would also be high on the list too.

Wanna bet they all “lost” hours in their mind?


Sure, but you failing to prove it counts as you losing the bet.

Re: 1315: "Questions for God"

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 3:05 pm UTC
by Clix
Well if I'm talking to God the first question is answered, the second is Watchmaker or Busy Body?

Re: 1315: "Questions for God"

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 3:23 pm UTC
by markfiend
The Synologist wrote:I knew about that phenomenon, but Wikipedia said that the footprints they left as they fled the tent showed that they were wearing only socks, a single shoe or barefoot. Also, you'd think it would have mentioned if all their clothes were found discarded around them. Still, even Cracked has taken a shot at debunking its more mysterious qualities, but what I'm most curious about is what made them tear their tent apart and run away in the first place. The explanation in the article just brushes it off as "avalanche", without really clarifying anything.

Aye, fair enough. I did say "some", "could", "partly".

Re: 1315: "Questions for God"

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 3:28 pm UTC
by dtobias
The girl with the steamboat is Miss Lucy in the version I learned as a kid.

The song must be pretty old to be talking about single-digit phone numbers that you needed to ask an operator to connect you to (predating direct dialing).

Re: 1315: "Questions for God"

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 3:58 pm UTC
by dushoff
No, no, no! We don't know where the steamboat went. "Hello, operator" is the beginning of the next verse. Where the steamboat went is a mystery. As is what "little" part of the operator the narrator is threating to kick. And so on.

Re: 1315: "Questions for God"

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 4:11 pm UTC
by FrobozzWizard
dtobias wrote:The girl with the steamboat is Miss Lucy in the version I learned as a kid.

The song must be pretty old to be talking about single-digit phone numbers that you needed to ask an operator to connect you to (predating direct dialing).


I've never been able to track down the origins of "Miss Lucy/Suzie Had a Steamboat", and I've made some Google-based attempts to do so. It's arguably one of the few modern folk songs, because a lot of people know it, but most of the people who know it learned it from somebody else who knew it, who learned it from somebody else, who learned it from somebody else, etc, and nobody seems to have the definitive written version of it with a known source. There are even variations, like the Miss Suzie versus Miss Lucy issue, and it even seems to have developed over time as various clever people tacked on additional couplets.

So stump future musicologists: teach your kids hand-clapping games. Just don't let Roger Rabbit catch you playing pattycake, because that just leads to serious trouble.

Re: 1315: "Questions for God"

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 4:12 pm UTC
by ekim
Is there some physics-y meaning of 'turbulence' that the comic/Horace Lamb is referring to?

Re: 1315: "Questions for God"

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 4:14 pm UTC
by addams
CigarDoug wrote:Why did you create THREE different religions, and set them up to constantly be at war with each other?

I can't tell.
So much inflection is lost to the written word.

Three Religions?
Are you American?

I know there are Americans that believe Judaism, Christianity and Islam are three different Religions.
There are Americans that believe that Catholic, Mormon and Seventh Day Adventists are three different Religions.

I don't understand your post.
What are these THREE different religions?

Constantly at War? Why?
They have Gods that can not get along?

Re: 1315: "Questions for God"

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 4:43 pm UTC
by Moose Anus
The steamboat sank and everyone died, including Miss Susie. She went to heaven because she died. The steamboat went to "hell" by sinking.

Re: 1315: "Questions for God"

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 4:45 pm UTC
by cellocgw
Moose Anus wrote:The steamboat sank and everyone died, including Miss Susie. She went to heaven because she died. The steamboat went to "hell" by sinking.


Everyone died? Even Neil B?

Re: 1315: "Questions for God"

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 4:48 pm UTC
by Conjugate
Two questions.

First question: "What question would, when answered, provide me with the greatest satisfaction?"

Second question: The answer to the first question.

Re: 1315: "Questions for God"

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 4:53 pm UTC
by Moose Anus
cellocgw wrote:
Moose Anus wrote:The steamboat sank and everyone died, including Miss Susie. She went to heaven because she died. The steamboat went to "hell" by sinking.


Everyone died? Even Neil B?

Especially Neil B.

Re: 1315: "Questions for God"

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 4:53 pm UTC
by orthogon
Moose Anus wrote:The steamboat sank and everyone died, including Miss Susie. She went to heaven because she died. The steamboat went to "hell" by sinking.

Is "going to hell" a bit like "not going to space"?

Re: 1315: "Questions for God"

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 4:55 pm UTC
by Kit.
The Synologist wrote:When I was reading about the Dyatlov Pass incident for the first time, I thought that if I had only one question that could be answered, it would be about just what the heck happened up there.

The answer would be mundane. Like this:

When they set up their tent, they dug into the snow, disrupting the stability of the snow slope. When they were asleep in their tent, the snow up the slope fell down and hit their tent. They were suddenly awoken in a dark tent collapsed under the snow's weight. They were able to cut the wall near their heads and to crawl out. Being disoriented by the snowy stormy darkness and afraid of a bigger avalanche, they decided to abandon the remains of the tent and to move to the forest that they knew was down the slope.

Re: 1315: "Questions for God"

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 5:15 pm UTC
by San Fran Sam
Neil_Boekend wrote:I would ask him to buy me a Mercedes Benz.


Do your friends all drive Porsches? Do you need to make amends?