1268: "Alternate Universe"

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keithl
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Re: 1268: "Alternate Universe"

Postby keithl » Mon Sep 23, 2013 5:04 pm UTC

LolTheForce wrote:Other than that, I am a vegan so I feel the same way about ALL animal products that people eat.
I was at Portland's "VegFest" on Sunday (make that "VegnFest" since we are adding N to words). Some local vegan restaurants had booths there. One has soy-analog lobster on their menu. That is creepier than eating spiders. Like lobster, soy is cleverly advertised peasant food. And factory-farm soy phytoestrogens (think "neurotoxic chemotherapy") may be even worse for you than strip-mining fragile ocean ecosystems for bottom-feeding mercury-concentrating scavenger meat.

I think I'll eat more desiccant paks today.
Last edited by keithl on Mon Sep 23, 2013 5:54 pm UTC, edited 2 times in total.

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Re: 1268: "Alternate Universe"

Postby project2051 » Mon Sep 23, 2013 5:07 pm UTC

Sure it's easy to eat lobsters over spiders. Lobsters are fairly large things that live on the bottom of the sea, and we rarely see until they are processed, cooked, and presented to us as food. Spiders on the other hand are those creepy crawly little things running around your house, obviously trying to do you in when you are not looking. And making a general mess in the basement.

Now if lobsters were allover your house acting like spiders you probably wouldn't eat them ether. Of course it would up things to a whole another level. Now: "Honey there is a spider in the bathroom." "I get a tissue." to "Honey there are lobsters in the bathroom." "I'll get the shotgun."

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Re: 1268: "Alternate Universe"

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Mon Sep 23, 2013 5:42 pm UTC

I feel this way about Dasani. When I first took a sip of it (assuming it was fresh water) I immediately looked for somewhere to spit. Why would anyone bottle salt water? And why risk putting it in a vending machine? Everyone knows you don't store food items with other chemicals for exactly that reason (Someone mistakenly consuming it).
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Re: 1268: "Alternate Universe"

Postby Angua » Mon Sep 23, 2013 6:00 pm UTC

I've come up with my real alternate universe that definitely mimics the 'what the hell?' feeling in the comic - I'm from the universe where a hop, skip and a jump is not an olympic sport. I came to this universe some time in 2012 and still find this a ridiculous concept.
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Re: 1268: "Alternate Universe"

Postby speising » Mon Sep 23, 2013 6:10 pm UTC

Quizatzhaderac wrote:I feel this way about Dasani. When I first took a sip of it (assuming it was fresh water) I immediately looked for somewhere to spit. Why would anyone bottle salt water? And why risk putting it in a vending machine? Everyone knows you don't store food items with other chemicals for exactly that reason (Someone mistakenly consuming it).


why anyone would by bottled tap water is beyond me.

but, the very successful isotonic drinks are basically sweetened artificial sweat, now that's gross!

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Re: 1268: "Alternate Universe"

Postby Tyndmyr » Mon Sep 23, 2013 6:23 pm UTC

project2051 wrote:Now if lobsters were allover your house acting like spiders you probably wouldn't eat them ether. Of course it would up things to a whole another level. Now: "Honey there is a spider in the bathroom." "I get a tissue." to "Honey there are lobsters in the bathroom." "I'll get the shotgun."


In a world where lobsters act like spiders, I need more flamethrowers.

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Re: 1268: "Alternate Universe"

Postby Whizbang » Mon Sep 23, 2013 6:30 pm UTC

Tyndmyr wrote:
project2051 wrote:Now if lobsters were allover your house acting like spiders you probably wouldn't eat them ether. Of course it would up things to a whole another level. Now: "Honey there is a spider in the bathroom." "I get a tissue." to "Honey there are lobsters in the bathroom." "I'll get the shotgun."


In a world where lobsters act like spiders, I need more flamethrowers.


Or at least more boiling water, melted butter, and disposable plastic bibs.

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Re: 1268: "Alternate Universe"

Postby JBJ » Mon Sep 23, 2013 6:37 pm UTC

project2051 wrote:Now if lobsters were allover your house acting like spiders you probably wouldn't eat them ether. Of course it would up things to a whole another level. Now: "Honey there is a spider in the bathroom." "I get a tissue." to "Honey there are lobsters in the bathroom." "I'll get the shotgun."

I don't know. On more than one occasion I've had a blue crab get into my garage. There was definitely a moment of decision whether to shoo it out or get a pot of water ready. In any case, I just shoo'd it out because one small crab does not a meal make.
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Re: 1268: "Alternate Universe"

Postby Nylonathatep » Mon Sep 23, 2013 6:48 pm UTC

I have no understanding of whats Today's xkcd comic is all about:

Image

Image

Image

Image

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fried_spider
Last edited by Nylonathatep on Mon Sep 23, 2013 6:58 pm UTC, edited 2 times in total.

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Re: 1268: "Alternate Universe"

Postby PinkShinyRose » Mon Sep 23, 2013 6:51 pm UTC

Tkun wrote:Vegetables are full of bugs and it is inviable to remove them all for preparing. Here are some examples of acceptable levels according to the FDA:

CITRUS FRUIT JUICES, CANNED
(AOAC 970.72) 5 or more Drosophila and other fly eggs per 250 ml

Those aren't bugs... I noticed the adult Drosophila get very slow in the fridge though, so the odds of eating them with your berries may be rather high (eggs of most species tend to be slow...).

Tkun wrote:MACARONI AND NOODLE PRODUCTS
(AOAC 969.41) Average of 225 insect fragments or more per 225 grams in 6 or more subsamples

CHOCOLATE AND CHOCOLATE LIQUOR
(AOAC 965.38) Average is 60 or more insect fragments per 100 grams when 6 100-gram subsamples are examined
OR
Any 1 subsample contains 90 or more insect fragments

I assume these fragments are of the same size as the grains of flour/cacao used (they are probably fragmented during grinding), so it might be one bug a week, I don't know the average sizes of grains of flour/cacao. The broccoli contains a lot of them though...

keithl wrote:And factory-farm soy phytoestrogens (think "neurotoxic chemotherapy") may be even worse for you than strip-mining fragile ocean ecosystems for bottom-feeding mercury-concentrating scavenger meat.

Yes, phyto-oestrogens are clearly more of a health hazard than mercury :roll: ... But how are phyto-oestrogens at all similar to chemotherapy?

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Re: 1268: "Alternate Universe"

Postby Coyoty » Mon Sep 23, 2013 7:04 pm UTC

Tarantulas should be baked covered in mud, so that the skin will come off easily when you peel it, and you don't get the little hairs embedded in your mouth.

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Re: 1268: "Alternate Universe"

Postby Coyoty » Mon Sep 23, 2013 7:05 pm UTC

sotanaht wrote:
da Doctah wrote:I may or may not have ingested spiders at some point in my life. What is undeniable is that a spider once tried to ingest me. Never saw her, either, just woke up one morning with a row of five equally-spaced (and incredibly itchy) welts in a perfectly straight line down my forearm. I figure she was fine most of the night, but every time I rolled over in my sleep she took another bite out of me, probably just trying to hang on.

(For those wondering about the pronouns above, my default gender identification for spiders is female. The whole "spinning a web" thing just strikes me as stereotypically feminine.)


In my experience, a string of itchy bites in a line usually comes from an ant, not a spider. Spiders are usually one big one and tend to be painful more so than itchy.


Sounds more like bedbugs. I don't recommend eating those. Too greasy.

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Re: 1268: "Alternate Universe"

Postby niky » Mon Sep 23, 2013 7:11 pm UTC

Whizbang wrote:
lobster-fight-man.jpg


Image

Those are coconut crabs. They're pretty tasty. And they're pretty endangered now... which is why I haven't eaten one in over two decades.

If you ever had any fear of giant insects... this is as close as you can get...

-

Always wondered what spider tastes like. I've eaten cricket and beetle, but those are obviously not as leggy.

Angua wrote:I've come up with my real alternate universe that definitely mimics the 'what the hell?' feeling in the comic - I'm from the universe where a hop, skip and a jump is not an olympic sport. I came to this universe some time in 2012 and still find this a ridiculous concept.


Chuckled at that one, knowing the exact event you mean. Almost as weird as that event where a team of people mop the ice in front of the sliding bucket.

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Re: Grapevine grapevine.

Postby addams » Mon Sep 23, 2013 7:14 pm UTC

Eternal Density wrote:I occasionally find myself in an alternate universe in which my family remember having an entirely different conversation to the one I remember having.

That's unnerving.
I am sorry that happened to you.

Google Glass to the rescue!
Record all conversations.

Then it becomes an Abbot and Costello routine
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Re: 1268: "Alternate Universe"

Postby Vlet » Mon Sep 23, 2013 7:17 pm UTC

I always tought that the "strange meat -> tastes like chicken" was some D&D stuff. Good to know is the default setting in this universe too. :lol:

jgh wrote:
Vlet wrote:spiders .... maybe other insects
How many legs do spiders have in your universe?


I don't know, is hard to count the legs when they are a pulp under my shoe. Can I say "somewhere between .1 and 100", just to be sure?

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Re: 1268: "Alternate Universe"

Postby davidstarlingm » Mon Sep 23, 2013 8:26 pm UTC

phlip wrote:
joeyvalentine wrote:This is how I feel about people who use "an" instead of "a" in front of words that begin with "h."

Well, that one depends on accents more than anything else... There are words (eg "history") for which the H is pronounced in some accents and silent in others. And so, whether it takes "a" or "an" depends on your accent.

Unfortunately, in some circles, some spelling rules are regarded as the "correct" way to speak, and sometimes those rules travel to places where they no longer apply. So some people with accents that pronounce the H still think it's "more correct" to write, or even say aloud "an historic occasion" with a pronounced H, and think of it as some sort of exception to the vowel rule. This is really an overcorrection, and "a historic occasion" is still fine for those accents.

I remember the sudden rush of understanding in linguistics class when I was told that "a" and "an" are the exact same word, and the extra "n" is just a pronunciation mark.

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Re: 1268: "Alternate Universe"

Postby just brew it! » Mon Sep 23, 2013 9:11 pm UTC

A couple of people I went to college with would not eat crustaceans at all. One of them explained his reasoning as "I don't eat bugs!"

Also, to the person who can't understand why some people eat bell peppers: My wife feels exactly the same way. She absolutely detests the aroma and flavor of them, and can tell when another piece of food has come in contact with one, even if only briefly. Unfortunately, I love bell peppers; but I can't even get them on half the pizza because the aroma grosses her out so much. (She claims they smell and taste like "spicy dirt".)

It seems that there are certain foods whose flavors are perceived very differently by different people; I imagine it is partly conditioned, and partly genetic. Cilantro is another one; some people apparently think it tastes like soap. I've also heard that Brussels sprouts taste like piss to many people (or at least, taste the way piss smells... I don't imagine many people have an actual basis for flavor comparison).

I happen to really like all of the above: crustaceans, bell peppers, cilantro and Brussels sprouts! Hmm... maybe even all of them together in a nice stir-fry! ;-)

Also, a fairly common flaw in beer is diacetyl (smells and tastes like butter, it is actually the chemical used to make artificial butter flavor). To some people it is glaringly obvious at parts-per-million levels, while others don't even notice it.

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Re: 1268: "Alternate Universe"

Postby orthogon » Mon Sep 23, 2013 9:23 pm UTC

mathmannix wrote:I like the notion that infinite multiverses may imply everyone's unique set of "facts" are correct in a certain universe.

In this multiverse theory, are the number of universes countably infinite? If so, then "alternate universes" could have a meaning after all: you could say for example that alternate universes map to odd natural numbers under some defined bijection.

Vlet wrote:I always tought that the "strange meat -> tastes like chicken" was some D&D stuff. Good to know is the default setting in this universe too. :lol:


"Tastes like chicken" has quite an erudite and apparently well researched TV Tropes entry.

Also, lobsters
Tyndmyr wrote:
project2051 wrote:Now if lobsters were allover your house acting like spiders you probably wouldn't eat them ether. Of course it would up things to a whole another level. Now: "Honey there is a spider in the bathroom." "I get a tissue." to "Honey there are lobsters in the bathroom." "I'll get the shotgun."


In a world where lobsters act like spiders, I need more flamethrowers.


Oh that reminds me: when you order lobster they bring you those special pliers to help you eat it, don't they? Those things are formidable adversaries even when cooked.
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Re: 1268: "Alternate Universe"

Postby Klear » Mon Sep 23, 2013 9:29 pm UTC

Vlet wrote:I always tought that the "strange meat -> tastes like chicken" was some D&D stuff. Good to know is the default setting in this universe too. :lol:


Oddly enough, TVTropes has a pretty comprehensible explanation for that, complete with a lot of real-life examples.

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Re: 1268: "Alternate Universe"

Postby webgiant » Mon Sep 23, 2013 9:31 pm UTC

Steve the Pocket wrote:I've always said that the most unappetizing thing about eating bugs is that you have to eat them whole because of their small size. If someone were to genetically engineer a giant cockroach that could be cracked open and eaten the way you eat a lobster, I'd probably eat it.

Why do you think you have to eat them whole? You could already be eating them, as "cricket flour".

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Re: 1268: "Alternate Universe"

Postby Fritzed » Mon Sep 23, 2013 9:58 pm UTC

phlip wrote:
joeyvalentine wrote:This is how I feel about people who use "an" instead of "a" in front of words that begin with "h."

Well, that one depends on accents more than anything else... There are words (eg "history") for which the H is pronounced in some accents and silent in others. And so, whether it takes "a" or "an" depends on your accent.

Unfortunately, in some circles, some spelling rules are regarded as the "correct" way to speak, and sometimes those rules travel to places where they no longer apply. So some people with accents that pronounce the H still think it's "more correct" to write, or even say aloud "an historic occasion" with a pronounced H, and think of it as some sort of exception to the vowel rule. This is really an overcorrection, and "a historic occasion" is still fine for those accents.


This frustrates me to no end.

It's not that complicated people. If you are an American and you aren't from Boston, it's "A historic occasion". Don't write or say "AN historic occasion". Honestly, if you are from Boston and you're trying to write it how you say it, go all the way and write "An 'istoric occasion" so that it reads correctly to the rest of us who don't have your particular speech impediment.

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Re: 1268: "Alternate Universe"

Postby davidstarlingm » Mon Sep 23, 2013 10:04 pm UTC

Fritzed wrote:It's not that complicated people. If you are an American and you aren't from Boston, it's "A historic occasion". Don't write or say "AN historic occasion". Honestly, if you are from Boston and you're trying to write it how you say it, go all the way and write "An 'istoric occasion" so that it reads correctly to the rest of us who don't have your particular speech impediment.

Then again, if you use them in sentences with the two variants and ask me to read them aloud....

"It was an historic occasion as the Mars capsule blasted off from its launch pad."

"The launch was a historic occasion."

....in the first example, I'll likely as not pronounce the n and simply gloss over the h. Not because I have the slightest hint of a Bostonian or British accent, but because the n suppresses the h and I just won't notice it. Just like you probably pronounce "last" differently if it's the end of a sentence instead of being followed by another word.

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Re: 1268: "Alternate Universe"

Postby Tkun » Mon Sep 23, 2013 10:37 pm UTC

PinkShinyRose wrote:
Tkun wrote:Vegetables are full of bugs and it is inviable to remove them all for preparing. Here are some examples of acceptable levels according to the FDA:

CITRUS FRUIT JUICES, CANNED
(AOAC 970.72) 5 or more Drosophila and other fly eggs per 250 ml

Those aren't bugs... I noticed the adult Drosophila get very slow in the fridge though, so the odds of eating them with your berries may be rather high (eggs of most species tend to be slow...).

Tkun wrote:MACARONI AND NOODLE PRODUCTS
(AOAC 969.41) Average of 225 insect fragments or more per 225 grams in 6 or more subsamples

CHOCOLATE AND CHOCOLATE LIQUOR
(AOAC 965.38) Average is 60 or more insect fragments per 100 grams when 6 100-gram subsamples are examined
OR
Any 1 subsample contains 90 or more insect fragments

I assume these fragments are of the same size as the grains of flour/cacao used (they are probably fragmented during grinding), so it might be one bug a week, I don't know the average sizes of grains of flour/cacao. The broccoli contains a lot of them though...

Sorry did I cropped the part where it mentions drosophila larva?

About the fragments, you are clearly understimating the amounts of bugs youeat.

"In practice, it is not possible to eliminate pest insects from the human food chain. Insects are present in many foods, especially grains. Food laws in many countries do not prohibit insect parts in food, but rather, they limit the quantity. People in rice-eating regions, for example, typically ingest significant numbers of rice weevil (Sitophilus oryzae) larvae, and this has been suggested as an important source of vitamins. [ Taylor, Ronald L. (1975). Butterflies in My Stomach (or: Insects in Human Nutrition). Woodbridge Press Publishing Company, Santa Barbara, California.]"

[image of weevil and other bugs larva stealthily hidden inside grains that I can't post because I forgot the name of my old account]

As long as you eat grains or grain flour regularly you are eating bugs regularly.

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Re: 1268: "Alternate Universe"

Postby applejuicefool » Mon Sep 23, 2013 10:43 pm UTC

In the universe I came here from, food taste and food healthiness correlate directly. I now live in hell.

-AJF

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Re: 1268: "Alternate Universe"

Postby colonel_hack » Mon Sep 23, 2013 11:07 pm UTC

zimdelinvasor wrote:Side thought on a related topic: everything that's not generally considered "food" is described as tasting like chicken.


From the wikipedia tyrannosaurus article:
"In studies reported in the journal Science in April 2007, Asara and colleagues concluded that seven traces of collagen proteins detected in purified Tyrannosaurus rex bone most closely match those reported in chickens" which means...

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Re: 1268: "Alternate Universe"

Postby Tkun » Mon Sep 23, 2013 11:29 pm UTC

colonel_hack wrote:
zimdelinvasor wrote:Side thought on a related topic: everything that's not generally considered "food" is described as tasting like chicken.


From the wikipedia tyrannosaurus article:
"In studies reported in the journal Science in April 2007, Asara and colleagues concluded that seven traces of collagen proteins detected in purified Tyrannosaurus rex bone most closely match those reported in chickens" which means...


Image

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Re: 1268: "Alternate Universe"

Postby gmalivuk » Mon Sep 23, 2013 11:45 pm UTC

speising wrote:
Quizatzhaderac wrote:I feel this way about Dasani. When I first took a sip of it (assuming it was fresh water) I immediately looked for somewhere to spit. Why would anyone bottle salt water? And why risk putting it in a vending machine? Everyone knows you don't store food items with other chemicals for exactly that reason (Someone mistakenly consuming it).


why anyone would by bottled tap water is beyond me.

but, the very successful isotonic drinks are basically sweetened artificial sweat, now that's gross!

No, gross would be unsweetened real sweat. I'm pretty okay with the sweetened artificial kind.
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Re: 1268: "Alternate Universe"

Postby da Doctah » Tue Sep 24, 2013 12:34 am UTC

gmalivuk wrote:
speising wrote:but, the very successful isotonic drinks are basically sweetened artificial sweat, now that's gross!

No, gross would be unsweetened real sweat. I'm pretty okay with the sweetened artificial kind.

I'm just going to turn over all the cards right now and ask you to think about milk.

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Re: 1268: "Alternate Universe"

Postby Copper Bezel » Tue Sep 24, 2013 12:35 am UTC

davidstarlingm wrote:I remember the sudden rush of understanding in linguistics class when I was told that "a" and "an" are the exact same word, and the extra "n" is just a pronunciation mark.

For me it was middle school and someone pointing out that the has two morphs, too, in the same situations, just not distinguished by spelling. Then a / an made sense.

just brew it! wrote:(She claims they smell and taste like "spicy dirt".)

Ooh, I like that. It's pretty damned accurate.
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Re: 1268: "Alternate Universe"

Postby rmsgrey » Tue Sep 24, 2013 12:41 am UTC

da Doctah wrote:
gmalivuk wrote:
speising wrote:but, the very successful isotonic drinks are basically sweetened artificial sweat, now that's gross!

No, gross would be unsweetened real sweat. I'm pretty okay with the sweetened artificial kind.

I'm just going to turn over all the cards right now and ask you to think about milk.

I'll see your milk and raise you cheese/yogurt - milk that has been deliberately allowed to rot...

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Re: 1268: "Alternate Universe"

Postby speising » Tue Sep 24, 2013 12:53 am UTC

da Doctah wrote:
gmalivuk wrote:
speising wrote:but, the very successful isotonic drinks are basically sweetened artificial sweat, now that's gross!

No, gross would be unsweetened real sweat. I'm pretty okay with the sweetened artificial kind.

I'm just going to turn over all the cards right now and ask you to think about milk.

ah, milk, why not? i already liked it as a baby!

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Re: 1268: "Alternate Universe"

Postby gmalivuk » Tue Sep 24, 2013 1:07 am UTC

Milk exists for nourishment, whereas sweat exists as waste. It's easier to rationalize eating the one than the other.
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Re: 1268: "Alternate Universe"

Postby Tkun » Tue Sep 24, 2013 1:40 am UTC

Actually sweat exist with the purpose of thermoregulation. Your body spend extra energy to make it have lower concentration of salts than plasma.

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Re: 1268: "Alternate Universe"

Postby ahecht » Tue Sep 24, 2013 3:16 am UTC

da Doctah wrote:
I apparently come from a universe just the other side of the one where Randall originated. The most puzzling thing about yours to me is that people will actually eat bell peppers on purpose.

(Side thought on a related topic: everything that's not generally considered "food" is described as tasting like chicken. Iguana? Tastes like chicken. Capybara? Tastes like chicken. Tasmanian devil? Kind of like chicken, but chewier. Maybe that's the flavor of things we're not supposed to eat. Which implies that we're not really meant to be eating the chickens either. Maybe they're here to supply the eggs, and eating the parent bird was a mistake made a long time ago that somehow propagated.)

I'm with you on the bell peppers. I have no problems with the hotter peppers, but I can't stand eating any food that has even been in the vicinity of a bell pepper.

On the chicken thing, according to TVtropes, eating chickens regularly is a fairly new thing:
Chicken was less common than pork or beef until World War II shortages in the US.
In Iceland, chicken wasn't considered fit for human consumption until the 1960s.
Actually, chicken was a luxury in most of the Western world until the introduction of intensive farming in the mid-20th century. The birds were kept for their eggs (in fact chickens seem to have been kept for centuries before anyone is known to have cooked and eaten one), and would only be slaughtered if they stopped laying- even a fairly wealthy farming family would eat chicken maybe once or twice a year (actually, typically they would eat one at Christmas and pay another to their land-lord as an agreed part of the rent).

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Re: 1268: "Alternate Universe"

Postby neoliminal » Tue Sep 24, 2013 4:42 am UTC

Obligatory reference to They're Made of Meat

www.youtube.com/watch?v=gaFZTAOb7IE
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0073YYXRC
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Re: 1268: "Alternate Universe"

Postby ilduri » Tue Sep 24, 2013 4:56 am UTC

speising wrote:but, the very successful isotonic drinks are basically sweetened artificial sweat, now that's gross!

Such as the apropriately-named Pocari Sweat, for example.
"Butterflies and zebras and moonbeams and fairytales"
she/her

JimsMaher
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Re: 1268: "Alternate Universe"

Postby JimsMaher » Tue Sep 24, 2013 5:10 am UTC

If lobsters are caught in traps, and fisherman keep time with the tide and daylight, then who cares if you eat a spider every now and then.

Are the spiders eaten raw? How to prepare spiders for eating?

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LazyMonk
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Re: 1268: "Alternate Universe"

Postby LazyMonk » Tue Sep 24, 2013 6:59 am UTC

People think everyone around them inhabits the same universe as them. Truth is, everyone has his/hers own private world that no-one can ever see or understand fully.

JimsMaher
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Re: 1268: "Alternate Universe"

Postby JimsMaher » Tue Sep 24, 2013 9:07 am UTC

^precisely what I said.

This should help bring any lingering waywardness of understandings back together.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/stor ... Id=7779869

UNIFY THE MULTIVERSE!

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orthogon
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Re: 1268: "Alternate Universe"

Postby orthogon » Tue Sep 24, 2013 9:33 am UTC

davidstarlingm wrote:I remember the sudden rush of understanding in linguistics class when I was told that "a" and "an" are the exact same word, and the extra "n" is just a pronunciation mark.

This page says that án was the OE word for "one", which developed into the modern indefinite article; a developed from an when the "n" was dropped before a consonant. If they're right, it's not so much an extra "n" as a missing "n". Still, yes.
xtifr wrote:... and orthogon merely sounds undecided.


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