Wooloomooloo wrote:Well, as with (mostly) everything, I find the truth is somewhere in the middle. In a company where the main subject is slamming non-present people I would feel awkward and "scootish" too. I'm certainly not in the habit of starting such discussions myself. On the other hand when some of my friends behave in some rather questionable ways and another friend who noticed the same thing I did brings it up, I sure as hell won't pretend we're talking about the weather, or start scooting. I'm definitely not the one who's going to sweep other people's dirt under the rug for them and pretend it doesn't exist, when I'm directly addressed about it; sorry.
That's not gossip. If you're bringing up a problem and trying to find a solution, even if it is concerning a negative facet of someone you know
, then it's not gossip. Gossip is widely defined as "idle talk or rumor about the personal or private affairs of others", and is "one of the oldest and most common means of sharing facts, views and slander
Plus, it's a stupid sentiment anyway. Gossip is essential for the survival of civilization. It no one ever gossiped, there would hardly be any social incentive against acting like an asshole. A community needs gossip to make sure that everybody stays in line, and that those who don't stay in line can be dealt with in some way.
You either don't know what gossip is, or your opinion is contemptible. Hell, some sociologists define it as a form of verbal violence.
If someone is fond of malicious gossip and basically just throws dirt on everybody to make themselves took better in comparison, well, sooner or later everybody will know that about them. And do you know why? Because people talk about each other and, yes, gossip.
That doesn't even make any sense. You are again conflating gossip (which is pretty clearly illustrated in the comic), with "Hey, we've got a problem with Bob and need to find a solution."
More likely, someone will learn about it much later, probably after their group reputation has been ruined based on nothing
, when their last well-meaning friend tells them "the reason everyone hates you is because all they know about you is Suzy Wilkins chatting about how lazy you are, and since they didn't know you had health and home issues they saw no reason to disbelieve her, even though no one likes her either."
Thanks to gossip, you can find that out.
No, thanks to acting like a gotdamn adult and just voicing your complaints to his face
, instead of being a passive-aggressive little wretch, you can find it out.
Or, here's one, going to one of his friends and saying "Hey, Joe seems to have a problem with me. Do you know if I did something to offend him, or is he always like that?" Not gossip, not malicious, and gets the job done.
All the people saying how wonderful and useful gossip is: seriously, you don't seem to have any clue what you're talking about. Look at a gossip rag or hell, read the comic
for an example of what gossip really is, and try to tell me how that's constructive.
From the elegant yelling of this compelling dispute comes the ghastly suspicion my opposition's a fruit.