Awesome Student Quotes

The school experience. School related queries, discussions, and stories that aren't specific to a subject.

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Lenary
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby Lenary » Tue Mar 17, 2009 12:24 am UTC

Monika wrote:
Chfan wrote:I don't get it, ashgray. You find it weird that a preteen is just now learning about sex? Wow...

Preteen? Kids are 13 when they enter 8th grade.

And she sure should have found out on the internet ;) .


not everyone lives off 4chan you know?
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby Alpha Omicron » Tue Mar 17, 2009 1:50 pm UTC

4chan or not, I think most 13 year-olds know what orgasms are.
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby Emperor Max » Tue Mar 17, 2009 3:45 pm UTC

Alpha Omicron wrote:4chan or not, I think most 13 year-olds know what orgasms are.


I think they are a myth.
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby Lenary » Tue Mar 17, 2009 3:51 pm UTC

Emperor Max wrote:
Alpha Omicron wrote:4chan or not, I think most 13 year-olds know what orgasms are.


I think they are a myth.


yes, 13 year olds are a myth
My Tumblog

[imath]you = me (awesome + clothes)[/imath]
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Spoiler:
[imath]awesome = \frac{you}{me} - clothes[/imath]

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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby Emperor Max » Tue Mar 17, 2009 5:10 pm UTC

Lenary wrote:
Emperor Max wrote:
Alpha Omicron wrote:4chan or not, I think most 13 year-olds know what orgasms are.


I think they are a myth.


yes, 13 year olds are a myth


I knew it!
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby ProudNerd » Tue Mar 17, 2009 8:06 pm UTC

I still remember one from 8th grade science. Our teacher had just taught us about air pressure differences and how air moves from high pressure to low pressure, thus creating wind. And this one girl was like "That's where wind comes from? I thought it was because of the trees moving back and forth!" She was dead serious too, which made it even funnier!
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby Monika » Tue Mar 17, 2009 10:19 pm UTC

ROFL. Maybe she will go into philosophy, about cause and effect. Or maybe not ;) .

From a fifth grade geography class: The teacher talked about some country in Africa or so and about cocoa beans, how they are harvested and made into cocoa (= hot chocolate beverage with milk). One girl: No, the brown cows with white spots give cocoa milk, just like the white cows with black spots give normal white milk. She was dead serious, too. Her father had to come to the school and clear this up, he had always been telling her that jokingly ... never mentioning it's a joke. (Story told by said girl when she was an adult.)
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby ProudNerd » Wed Mar 18, 2009 2:31 am UTC

Monika wrote:ROFL. Maybe she will go into philosophy, about cause and effect. Or maybe not ;) .

From a fifth grade geography class: The teacher talked about some country in Africa or so and about cocoa beans, how they are harvested and made into cocoa (= hot chocolate beverage with milk). One girl: No, the brown cows with white spots give cocoa milk, just like the white cows with black spots give normal white milk. She was dead serious, too. Her father had to come to the school and clear this up, he had always been telling her that jokingly ... never mentioning it's a joke. (Story told by said girl when she was an adult.)


Haha! My parents used to joke about brown cows making chocolate milk, but I always knew they were kidding.

EDIT: Why does L-O-L turn into "This cheese is burning me?" I'm quite new here and don't know what the deal is with that.
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby Minilea01 » Wed Mar 18, 2009 9:33 am UTC

During AP Chem. The teacher always gives out really difficult pop quizzes and he always says "Time for my quizzies!!!" So, this guy behind me says "If those are your quizzies, I hate to see your testies."

He didn't realize what she said ^^. The teacher actually left the classroom in embarrassment.

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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby Poochy » Wed Mar 18, 2009 11:06 am UTC

I was just reminded of another old one, from many years back. It was the first day of Japanese class, and our teacher asked us, "What do you associate with Japan?" We started listing things like anime, manga, Pocky, etc. I then noticed the guy across the aisle from me whispering really loudly to the guy in front of him, though all I could make out was a "just say it!" at the end. Then the guy in front of him raised his hand and said, "Hentai!" This was followed by a response of "Hentai? That means 'pervert'!" Our teacher responded with "And how would YOU know?" Hilarity ensued.

(Note: In Japanese, "hentai" is an insulting term used for calling someone a pervert. It's also been adapted into a Western term for anime porn.)

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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby Monika » Wed Mar 18, 2009 5:18 pm UTC

ProudNerd wrote:EDIT: Why does L-O-L turn into "This cheese is burning me?" I'm quite new here and don't know what the deal is with that.

It's a word filter. In normal forums word filters are used to e.g. turn bad words like fuck into f*** or ****, or if the forum administrators like e.g. hell into heck or whatever. In this forum there are some word filters just for fun, e.g. LOL -> ¡This cheese is burning me! . I haven't noticed any others, but there are supposedly more of them.

Last month there were several days where lots and lots of word filters were turned on so that it was hardly possible to communicate :D . Anything from raptor -> happy lizzard to feminism -> the radical idea that women are people or computer science -> superabacus mysticism.

If you notice any besides LOL let me know ;) .
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby grapefruit1 » Thu Mar 19, 2009 1:09 am UTC

I come bearing quotes! These are all from this past school day, and as stated in the first quote...it was a weird one.


Me: I'm sitting here huddled in a corner next to my Social Studies teacher to keep my best friends from beating me within an inch of my life. It's been a weird day.
---
J: ...and lots of naked dead bodies lying in the snow.
---
R: Wait, do we live in North America or Central America?
*silence*.....*laughter*

For the record, the answer is North America.
---

This one's from a while ago.

(J has just accidentally 'accepted' M's marriage proposal.)
Me: So, how's it going with M?
J: Please shoot me.
A: (makes shooting motion with fingers, complete with sound effects.)
J: Thank you.
A: Enjoy Hell.
J: I will.

You will note that this conversation took place with straight faces and monotone voice, which of course made it all the more awesome.
Last edited by grapefruit1 on Thu Mar 19, 2009 2:25 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby alach11 » Thu Mar 19, 2009 3:48 am UTC

Math Class the other day.

Teacher opens up calculator program (looks like a TI 83) on the computer which is being projected on the smartboard.

He hits the 'on' button 3-4 times and nothing happens. I mutter "the batteries must be dead again" getting a few laughs from people next to me.

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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby Minilea01 » Thu Mar 19, 2009 1:33 pm UTC

Before the test, the teacher was checking our calculators to see if we were cheating. (He basically cleared all memory) One of the desks was empty from the other class. There was a calculator on it. So, he turned it on, and on the calculator were the words "Mr. Smith is hot" (Mr. Smith, the teacher's name)

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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby izzythefirst » Sat Mar 21, 2009 11:20 pm UTC

grapefruit1 wrote:
Spoiler:
I come bearing quotes! These are all from this past school day, and as stated in the first quote...it was a weird one.


Me: I'm sitting here huddled in a corner next to my Social Studies teacher to keep my best friends from beating me within an inch of my life. It's been a weird day.
---
J: ...and lots of naked dead bodies lying in the snow.
---
R: Wait, do we live in North America or Central America?
*silence*.....*laughter*

For the record, the answer is North America.
---

This one's from a while ago.

(J has just accidentally 'accepted' M's marriage proposal.)
Me: So, how's it going with M?
J: Please shoot me.
A: (makes shooting motion with fingers, complete with sound effects.)
J: Thank you.
A: Enjoy Hell.
J: I will.

You will note that this conversation took place with straight faces and monotone voice, which of course made it all the more awesome.]



ok, sorry it took me a while to reply, but haha i'm new..
ok, so for those of you who (maybe) are wondering, regarding the corner next to Mr. B (SS teacher), she had been slapped upside the head (several times) *tee hee guilty* then fell on to the ground, as a result of something I cannot remember, then kicked (playfully at first), which haha then turned into violent kicking... tee hee...
then Mr. B says: Umm... yeah... Can I help you????

--

Me (to Octavio [don't ask]): Oh come on! I would never hurt you to the extent of needing a doctor!!
Leah (who happens to be right next to me): You wouldn't need a doctor if you were dead!!

haha you kinda had to be there; you kinda gotta know me to get it... :lol:
J: OW! My head!!
*smack*
J: OW! My other head!!

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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby izzythefirst » Sat Mar 21, 2009 11:35 pm UTC

ok this is just kinda random but we (a few of my friends and I) were having a yawning "competition" if you will during science, cuz we were watching this IMAX movie (which somehow our teacher got) and no, we were not in the IMAX and so here we go:

beginning of the movie:
Leah: *yawn*
Me: Yawning is contagious! *yawn*
Alex: *yawn* Gosh dang it!!
current score: Leah- 7
Me- 6
Alex- somewhere in the low 20's
---- a little over half way through the movie
"Octavio": *yawn* What are you guys doing? (speaking to Leah and I who are trying to get the other to yawn)
Me: counting yawns to see who has the least by the end of the movie...
Octavio: oh, *yawn* ok. *yawns about 25 more times*
current score: Leah- 8
Me- 8
Alex- now somewhere in the low 30's
Octavio- 30
the end of the movie finally comes along, and wouldn't you know it, Octavio is STILL yawning :)
final score: Leah- 8
Me- 8
Alex- 39
Octavio- 45

note that Octavio started near the END of the movie, and we started at the beginning :)
you had to be there for that one... haha still funny...
J: OW! My head!!
*smack*
J: OW! My other head!!

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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby izzythefirst » Sat Mar 21, 2009 11:39 pm UTC

oh haha SORRY i just thought of another one:

M (to me): We have a MAJOR crisis!!
Me: What?!?!?!
M: J's LEAVING US!!!!!!!!!
Me: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?
M: He's skipping a grade and LEAVING US!!!!!!!
Alex and I then run over to J
Alex: *smacks J upside the head*
J: Ow! My head!
Me: *smacks J upside the head*
J: Ow!! My other head!!

haha... mine are all kinda "Had to be there" kind of things... :)
J: OW! My head!!
*smack*
J: OW! My other head!!

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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby Monika » Sun Mar 22, 2009 8:41 am UTC

Sorry izzy, but these are the least awesome student quotes in the entire thread.
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Lenary
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby Lenary » Sun Mar 22, 2009 10:43 am UTC

Monika wrote:Sorry izzy, but these are the least awesome student quotes in the entire thread.


you're just envious. i liked them izzy, don't worry about her
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby izzythefirst » Sun Mar 22, 2009 3:16 pm UTC

i know, they are kinda lame but you really had to be there to get most of them.. :)
J: OW! My head!!
*smack*
J: OW! My other head!!

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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby Sideburns » Sun Mar 22, 2009 11:35 pm UTC

In an A-level physics class (so we were 16 or 17), our teacher was talking about specific heat capacities, and, having explained the concept, was giving the specific heats of various substances. As an aside, he said something along the lines of:
'Interestingly, strawberry jam* has one of the highest specific heat capacities'
At which point Nick looked up and said, in a genuinely astonished and fascinated voice:
'What - of all the jams?'

'Of all the jams' still gets a big laugh from those who were present.

*I think in America this is called jelly

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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby thatguy » Sun Mar 22, 2009 11:44 pm UTC

Jam and jelly are very different things.

Jam usually has fruit preserves in it.

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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby grapefruit1 » Mon Mar 23, 2009 1:53 am UTC

izzythefirst wrote:ok, sorry it took me a while to reply, but haha i'm new..
ok, so for those of you who (maybe) are wondering, regarding the corner next to Mr. B (SS teacher), she had been slapped upside the head (several times) *tee hee guilty* then fell on to the ground, as a result of something I cannot remember, then kicked (playfully at first), which haha then turned into violent kicking... tee hee...
then Mr. B says: Umm... yeah... Can I help you????


That would be Jordan trying to kick my kneecaps off.

A few more:

Me: You're bleeding!!
Alex: I am? *Touches forehead* Oops.
Me: You're not concerned?!
Alex: At what?
Me: The fact that you're bleeding from your head!!

---

That whole IMAX movie thing went a little more like this:

[I hear Izzy, Leah, and Alex all laughing their heads off at me. Of course, we're sitting five feet away from the teacher so we can't talk at a normal volume.]
Me (mouthing): *Yawn* What?
Leah (whispering): There she goes again! *laugh*
Me: What?!? *Yawn* What's so funny?
*They all laugh*
Leah: 27!
Me: *Yawn* What the hell?
Leah: 28!
*I finally catch on*
Me: 28? Really?
Izzy: Yeah!

(After class)

Alex: I got 38.
Me: 41. One every god-damn minute.
Leah and Izzy: Eight *laugh*
Me: Shut up! *Yawn* I'm serious! One every freaking minute!

And this continued on almost the entire bus-ride home (for me at least). And now it's happening again. :shock:

---
Okay, a funnier one:

Emily: Okay, seriously, guys? I'm losing circulation to my thighs! A little help would be nice!
Me: ...I'm just gonna let you guys's minds do the wandering on that one.
*Cue simultaneous faces of disgust*

I have that effect on people. :D

---
Me, in a singsong voice: I...truly appreciate your delicious cracker!
(it's another "had-to-be-there")

Okay, these kind of sucked. But i'm sure Izzy remembers them.
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby izzythefirst » Mon Mar 23, 2009 3:11 am UTC

grapefruit1 wrote:
izzythefirst wrote:ok, sorry it took me a while to reply, but haha i'm new..
ok, so for those of you who (maybe) are wondering, regarding the corner next to Mr. B (SS teacher), she had been slapped upside the head (several times) *tee hee guilty* then fell on to the ground, as a result of something I cannot remember, then kicked (playfully at first), which haha then turned into violent kicking... tee hee...
then Mr. B says: Umm... yeah... Can I help you????


That would be Jordan trying to kick my kneecaps off.


wait, was it really Jordan?? i thought it was like, Alex or someone else, but not Jordan cuz i thought she was trying to slap me upside the head! (not the smartest move on her part ;) )

and about the yawning.. i only had 1 more on the ride home :mrgreen:
gosh i wish i could remember some more like, about english... oh gosh Octavio, i dont' remember the whole thing but do u remember the whole thing about the "oaf"? haha i wish i could remember that one.. :D oh we have fun... we have lots of fun..

then our teacher's some crazed hippie going on about when he went through a town and how he got yelled at by a bunch of cowboys..
Octavio, do not even think about posting anything about the song(s) (haha i will get you)
J: OW! My head!!
*smack*
J: OW! My other head!!

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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby joshz » Mon Mar 23, 2009 12:09 pm UTC

Can we stop with the inside jokes please? There's a PM function for a reason, methinks.

Quote:
My friend: What what in the butt?
Me: Very deep.

(I meant to say "very deep" as in "very meaningful", but it didn't work for obvious reasons.)
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby Xaiv » Mon Mar 23, 2009 5:37 pm UTC

In English today, one of my friend's was speaking of Stephen King. Another one of my friend's then proceeded to say:

"I loved Jurassic Park!"

That was a good laugh.

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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby izzythefirst » Tue Mar 24, 2009 3:00 am UTC

haha fine.. enough of the inside jokes, but most of them are had-to-be-there-things :D

today in English:

Mr. W (speaking to this really annoying girl that no one really likes (who happens to be answering questions)) : Go on my brother!!
R: Um...
Mr. W: Wait, you're my sister!
R: N-no...


what?!?!?!?
J: OW! My head!!
*smack*
J: OW! My other head!!

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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby grapefruit1 » Wed Mar 25, 2009 11:41 pm UTC

Oh my god, today at lunch...i could post the whole conversation. But I won't.

J: And the bomb I have planted in your *doubles over choking*

Explaination: She was giving an evil monologue, and suddenly inhaled the Reeses Pieces she had in her mouth.

---

Me: How did we get from questioning my gender to 'J's going to marry K someday'?

---

From an earlier time:

There is a certain door that swings outward into the hall and almost always hits me as I walk past it. I walked past it that day, and lo and behold almost got hit.

Me: Every fracking day!
R: Why don't you just walk further away from it?
Me: ...

Because that thought had truly never occured to me.
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby kernelpanic » Thu Mar 26, 2009 12:11 am UTC

Not a quote, but I received the following mail from a teacher:
Spoiler:
Dear High School Student



As you get ready for your coursework and essays, please make sure you are using a diversity of sites in your online research. You should not be relying exclusively on sites such as Wikipedia which are by no means 100% accurate in the information they give. *My school* has a paid subscription to the Encyclopedia Britannica Online School Edition which includes the following:

1. Encyclopaedia Britannica for High School Students

2. Dictionary

3. Journals and Magazines

4. Teacher Resources

5. Learning Materials

6. Links to external websites (that have been checked out)
*link, password, etc.*

To which I answered
Spoiler:
Dear *Teacher*
Perhaps you'd be interested in reading the following articles:

The Lies and Fallacies of the Enciclopaedia Britannica
Misinforming a Nation

While Wikipedia has a global perspective because of its open nature, the Britannica is written, mainly, by white men. The women who write some articles have only got credit recently. You may also want to check the veracity of your sixth claim, something that is not only either not clearly visible or not present at all but that Wikipedia does have.

Wikipedia has more than 12,500,000 articles (not counting the 5.5 TB of multimedia data) and an average length of 435 words each, in over 100 languages to choose from. The formerly mighty, nowadays flimsy Britannica has a mere 120,000 articles at a laughable average of 375 words.

Not to mention that it has historically portrayed the Ku Klux Klan as "Protector of the White Race", citing the need to "control the negroes" (11th edition). Virginia Woolf, the most important female modernist of the 20th century, made emphasis that it "is not adapted to the requirements of an intelligent reader", and it is neglecting the work of the Father of Psychology, Sigmund Freud.
Wikipedia is aware of its [small] faults and admits to them: Criticism of Wikipedia, whereas the Britannica does not: Critcism of the Britannica. I personally think that being a KKK activist and/or supporter is much graver than treating clearly insane people with the respect they deserve as human beings.

I appreciate your time [citation needed] and hope you reconsider your position on this issue.
Regards, *My name*


She then replied
Spoiler:
Thank you *My name* for sharing this article!! But you need to know that in academic circles there is a lot of sceptism [sic] with basing all or most of your bibliography on Wikipedia as a source of information.


I replied:
Spoiler:
Oh, I see. I completely understand that www.infidels.org and that the independent publisher B. W. Huebsch, who died in the 1930s, are both currently owned by the Wikimedia Foundation.
Here is a non-wikipedia source:
http://topics.nytimes.com/top/news/business/companies/britannica/index.html?scp=1-spot&sq=britannica&st=cse *NOTE: Simple Youtube rickroll*

Oh, and It's spelled "skepticism", as opposed to "scepticism"

PD. I hope you understand that this is obviously humorous.


Do you think I overdid it?
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby shnieder2 » Thu Mar 26, 2009 1:27 am UTC

That was a little over done from both sides, but it was a little pointless since the teacher most likely wasn't going to change her view point. Don't forget that people who believe wikipedia is always wrong are usually as reasonable as trying to reason with people who think that gays shouldn't be allowed to marry. Most of the time it will be just wasted breath.

And on the topic of student quotes this was something I overheard in my math class
Student A: Ohh, lets see what student B has in her purse.
Student B: Hey don't look in there.
Student A: Let's see *looks through the purse* Why is there a condom in here?
Student B: Um... I have no idea how that got there.
Student C: *picks it up* Ewww there is liquid in there!
*Class is suddenly quite
Student B: *Loudly* It's just water in the condom!!! :oops:

Needless to say, student B was embarressed. This class is mainly high school Junior's and I'm just a freshmen.

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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby rubber314chicken » Thu Mar 26, 2009 1:28 am UTC

kernelpanic, no, that is pretty funny.
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby Martige » Thu Mar 26, 2009 12:32 pm UTC

Dumbass Blone Girl talking about Cross Country track:


" So do you guys like, run around the country or do you just...like stay in one place? "
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby Monika » Thu Mar 26, 2009 12:36 pm UTC

kernelpanic, that's cool.

However, you can still not use Wikipedia in the bibliography for a research paper. Not because it's a wiki, but because it's an encyclopedia. You can't use any encyclopedia as a source for a scientific paper. Also not Britannica.

Well, maybe you can in high school, but not in college.
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wst
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby wst » Thu Mar 26, 2009 7:35 pm UTC

Monika wrote:kernelpanic, that's cool.

However, you can still not use Wikipedia in the bibliography for a research paper. Not because it's a wiki, but because it's an encyclopedia. You can't use any encyclopedia as a source for a scientific paper. Also not Britannica.

Well, maybe you can in high school, but not in college.
But it's okay to cite the sources of the citations you make from Wikipedia. Ie. if it has the superscript [number] next to it, go to that link, and cite that :D
Anything I said pre-2014 that you want to quote me on, just run it past me to check I still agree with myself.

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the tree
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby the tree » Thu Mar 26, 2009 8:54 pm UTC

wst wrote:if it has the superscript [number] next to it, go to that link, and cite that :D
At least skim read the page before doing this. Or at least check that it isn't the phrase "shiny chicken bollocks" written 2654 times, formatted to look like an academic reference.

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Monika
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby Monika » Thu Mar 26, 2009 9:10 pm UTC

Or one of these randomly generated texts ... they even got into a conference with one of these.
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i_ll_winn
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby i_ll_winn » Thu Mar 26, 2009 9:18 pm UTC

I have two

Student 1:You know what I don't get?
Me: Women.

And

Student 1:The rise and fall of the roman empire is very interesting.
Me:I quite agree.
Student 1:Yes, the importance of historical events in today's world is significant.

You HAD to be there man. It was like so hilarious.

Edit:
This is what I came to post, but somehow I totally forgot.
Student 1:All these similes are getting out of hand
Me:I know! Similes are like the juvenile delinquents of literary phrases!
There is no enemy anywhere, only idiots with weapons.
My life is worthless, how I affect others is priceless.
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IHOPancake
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby IHOPancake » Thu Mar 26, 2009 11:49 pm UTC

At dinner today, my friends and I were debating whether A was a female (he's a guy). The conversation involved his mom and mailman (who turned out to be a mailwoman) and the Large Egg Collider in Switzerland. Anyway, A says he can't be a woman because he just felt his crotch and it was still there.

The conversation continued, and then R joined in. We explain whats going on. R (a guy) then says with a perfectly straight face in a monotone
I will have to repeat your experiment for statistical purposes
82.7% of statistics are made up on the spot.

grapefruit1
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby grapefruit1 » Sat Mar 28, 2009 9:14 pm UTC

Okay, yesterday was "Lunch with your Parent" day. J's dad was there, and E kept calling him 'dad'.

J: HE'S NOT YOUR FATHER, E!
Me: How do you know that?
J: Okay, A, you wanna take this outside?
Me: We are outside.
J: Well, then, do you wanna take this inside so we can take it back outside?
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rubber314chicken
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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Postby rubber314chicken » Sat Mar 28, 2009 9:50 pm UTC

IHOPancake wrote:At dinner today, my friends and I were debating whether A was a female (he's a guy). The conversation involved his mom and mailman (who turned out to be a mailwoman) and the Large Egg Collider in Switzerland. Anyway, A says he can't be a woman because he just felt his crotch and it was still there.

The conversation continued, and then R joined in. We explain whats going on. R (a guy) then says with a perfectly straight face in a monotone
I will have to repeat your experiment for statistical purposes

Thats something I'd say.....

i_ll_winn wrote:I have two

Student 1:You know what I don't get?
Me: Women.


lol, I'm gonna have to use that on some people...
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