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Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Wed Feb 18, 2009 9:37 pm UTC
by free-zombie
teacher: Some of you are still using "rien" incorrectly.
student: rien ne va plus.
teacher: c'est ├ža

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Thu Feb 19, 2009 5:37 am UTC
by Firion345
Me and a few friends were sitting on some stairs, not bothering to go to class, since it was a snow day and there were about 20 out of 1000 kids at the school. While we are sitting, our vice principal comes up to us and asks why we are there. I told her it was because loitering was fun. She got pretty bad at my "unrealistic" response, and sent us off to an empty computer lab.

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Thu Feb 19, 2009 3:13 pm UTC
by VDOgamez
My calculus BC class in 10th grade

Student 1: Heh, L'Hospital's (pronounced Lopietal) rule looks like it should be pronounced as L Hospital's rule...
Student 2: If you say L Hospital one more time I'll be forced to shank you!

---Later---

Student 1: Couldn't you just use L Hospital's rule... *pauses* EEP! *Hides under desk*
---
In english class

Teacher: Would you believe me if I said I saw something come out of the sky, land, and open up, with short creatures walking out of it?
Student: Yes.
Teacher: What? Why?
Student: I saw it too. It was an airplane transporting midgets!

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 5:14 am UTC
by Zarak666
One time my friend and I were having an argument about basketball shots, we were completely misunderstanding eachother, but either way, in order to prove the point that a shot being "tricky" and it being "in" or "good" are independent variables, so in the most nerdy way possible I set up a configuration space x=0,1 out or in, y = 0 , 1 untricky, tricky, whereupon she replies "I don't get it! If this is a graph then where is the basket?" She actually is very smart, just inclined to misunderstand nerdy things. (she wanted to have the argument in front of the debate/math teacher)

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 2:49 pm UTC
by VDOgamez
Somebody in my class got a letter from some kind of cult once. she read it out loud to the class: "We have revieved notice from one of our members that you may be interested in joining our group. Unfortunally, our researchers looked at your Facebook profile and were alarmed to see a non-Christian religion listed: 'The church of ---- Murray.' Normally this would disqualify you, but we may be able to pull some strings and write it off as a 'childish whim.' Contact us at this number to convert, and join us in enlightenment."

That is wrong in so many ways. Especially the one of Mr. Murray being our PHYSICS TEACHER! (This was also during his class. He found it amusing.)

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 1:52 am UTC
by Blunger1
A few days ago, in English. Speaking about MacBeth (I'm not going to look up the line, but it involved the vulnerability of small, naked babies.)

Teacher: (passionately) And what's more vulnerable than a naked baby?
Me: Two naked babies.

Same day, talking about one of our pregnant teachers who just left to deliver.

Teacher: Has Ms. Eldridge had her baby yet?
Class: *Various comments answering the question in the negative*
Me: Nopexorz. Baby pending.

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 7:42 am UTC
by Monika
Nopexorz? That a word?

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 5:01 pm UTC
by Takran
Monika wrote:Nopexorz? That a word?


No.

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 7:55 pm UTC
by modified-features
We were doing reversible reactions in chemistry and this girl turned round and said 'that's like water into ice right?'
I had to stop myself from laughing out loud.

Another girl in my art class turned round to me once and said 'hey, how do you make yellow?'
I suggested maybe taking some out of the pot of yellow paint...

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2009 11:27 pm UTC
by kinigget
I can't remember if I posted this before or not, but can't be bothered checking.

This is not so much funny as cool, and not a quote but a story, but I think it counts.

Now, my high school was great in many ways, we had an amazing principal, a strong student government, and an overall air of insanity. Once upon an assembly, (a holiday assembly, either valentines day or winter) an accapella group was getting ready to do their piece. Meanwhile up in the bleachers, two students were planning, when the song started, these two students opened their cell phones and waved them around in the manner of concert-goers. It caught on, within seconds, the entire gym was awash in the blue-green glow of LCD screens. I have never been more proud of my fellow students than at that moment. of course, by the end of the song, it was over, and since there were no more songs to be sung, it didn't happen again, but I will treasure that memory.

I wish I could say I had something to do with the event, but I can't.

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2009 11:49 pm UTC
by VDOgamez
"Wanna hear a really good joke?"
"Yeah"
"Religion, and Byron is the punch line!"

*Byron is a huge religious bigot in my school...

:lol:

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2009 11:46 am UTC
by Monika
@kiniggit: This sounds really awesome.


VDOgamez wrote:"Wanna hear a really good joke?"
"Yeah"
"Religion, and Byron Coffey is the punch line!"

I don't get it. Who's Byron Coffey?

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2009 5:12 pm UTC
by Fractal_Tangent
Person 1: 'I can't believe I have a mechanics test tomorrow!'
Person 2: 'Neither can I, eurgh I think I'm going to fail...'
Person 3: 'You know you take mechanics, does that make you, like a car mechanic?'

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 12:34 am UTC
by kernelpanic
Today this happened in math:
Spoiler:
Student: I don't know nothing about this!
Teacher: You mean "I don't know anything"
Student: I don't get it
Teacher: That's a double negative. You can't have them in English. There are languages, like Spanish, where you can. Not English.
Me (shouting): No, that's not right!
I don't find it funny, but everyone laughed.

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 1:21 am UTC
by rat4000
kernelpanic wrote:Today this happened in math:
Spoiler:
Student: I don't know nothing about this!
Teacher: You mean "I don't know anything"
Student: I don't get it
Teacher: That's a double negative. You can't have them in English. There are languages, like Spanish, where you can. Not English.
Me (shouting): No, that's not right!
I don't find it funny, but everyone laughed.


Note that he was STILL right as the "no" and "that's not right" are two different sentences forming a compound sentence. His not being precise as hell (he could've said "you can't have a double negative in a not-compound (no idea what the word for this is) sentence) does not mean he was wrong.

Unless you DID mean he was right, in which case I'm sorry.

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 4:10 am UTC
by knight2417
(While doing projects on inventions)
D- "I think ill do my project on the wheel"
B-"The wheel is such a stupid invention....(turns to teacher) Can I do my project on the automobile?"

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 7:42 am UTC
by Narsil
My English teacher on the subject of Moby Dick: "Oh God, not more blubber!"

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2009 1:40 pm UTC
by Monika
knight2417 wrote:(While doing projects on inventions)
D- "I think ill do my project on the wheel"
B-"The wheel is such a stupid invention....(turns to teacher) Can I do my project on the automobile?"

:lol:

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Wed Mar 04, 2009 9:47 pm UTC
by Sometimes I Am Contemplative
I have a fun one from yesterday. :D The guy involved is still angry with me because of it, but I'm too proud of the comment to feel bad.

It was raining, and we were walking to our lesson, just about to go out into the pouring down-ness.

Me: *Makes vague sound of distress as we're about to go out into the rain*
Him: *Looks at me as I pull my hood up* .. Why are you complaining? You're female. *Grins* Girls spend most of their lives wet.
Me: *Glances to him, arches eyebrow* Not the ones that hang around with you.
Him: :shock: ... *Blank stare* ..... *Mumbles* ... Cold.


He started it. :roll:

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 12:47 pm UTC
by Monika
No reason to feel bad, if a guy makes such a rude remark. I think it was a very funny retaliation. :D

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 1:19 pm UTC
by Lenary
Monika wrote:No reason to feel bad, if a guy makes such a rude remark. I think it was a very funny retaliation. :D


here here!

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 5:22 pm UTC
by grapefruit1
Just had to register to post these:

Names have been changed.

--Discussing a short story we had to write--

Me: What are you going to name the ant?
Megan: I'm thinking Brent.
Me: Oh, I see. Because it's small, insignificant, and people would like to stomp it.
Megan: No, but he's going to be brave and a hero.
Me: Oh, yes. I do see the conflict there.

Keep in mind that the guy we were talking about (Brent) was sitting between the two of us.

--Playing a trivia game--

SS Teacher: There is a strait on the tip of South America named after a famous explorer. Name that explorer.
Noah: Indiana Jones!

He was 100% serious. (The answer was Magellan, given by the one guy in the class the rest of us were playing against. He won.)

--All the following are taken out of context to show you how off-track we get--

Shelly: Why are you molesting my hand?
--
Me: She followed Shelly into the bathroom and then tried to take off her pants. That's like, one step away from rape.
--
Me: Did you just stab me in the face with the key to an alternate dimension?
--
Nate: But what if, like, up in space NASA's dishwasher accidentally fell out the window? Would it crash into earth and make a huge crater?
--
Me: OKAY! If Jonny's appendix burst in space, would you rather let him die or perform freaking rocket surgery?

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 10:46 pm UTC
by Monika
Sounds like one freaking school :lol:

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 11:10 pm UTC
by grapefruit1
A few more from the memory banks...

Names may or may not have been changed. You have no way of knowing :wink:

Me: No, YOUR guts are going to be all over the walls...Hi, Ms. Lambert.
---
Megan: We were going to throw grapefruits at them, but then they started stripping.
---
Nicole: You just dropped Scout on his face. What a great mother YOU are.
---
Me: See, at that table, they wouldn't just steal my food, they'd try to kill me...Hi, Mr. James. She (Elizabeth) would totally slap me right now if you weren't here.
Elizabeth: She's not lying.
---
Emily: Apple anyone?
(I guess this is only funny in context/you had to be there...)
---
Me: It's like applesauce with a higher viscousity!
---
Me: It's like running through angry pudding!

That's all for now.

Edit: As you can see, I have horrible timing....

Edit #2 Added a few more

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2009 9:57 am UTC
by Monika
Angry pudding?! :o

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Tue Mar 10, 2009 4:27 am UTC
by keith_
. . . after deriving a swarzschild solution in a general relativity class:

student a: "what could possibly be a better use of my time than understanding how the universe works?
student b: "understanding how they all work"

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Thu Mar 12, 2009 2:21 am UTC
by HarleyQuinn
This one kept our Health class and teacher laughing for a good bit.

Teacher: Student A, what was that word you stuttered on?
Student A: *mutters* Menstruation.
Teacher: And what does that mean?
Student A: *more embarrassed* Period.
Teacher: What do you mean, like the one at the end of a sentence?
Student B: More like the one at the end of the month.

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Thu Mar 12, 2009 3:06 am UTC
by rath358
In trig class, we were talking about equations and stuff...

Teacher: So you replace cos(x) with alpha...solve...blah blah blah...
student: fishie!
Teacher: .....

so now whenever we are talking about a problem, the answer is fishie

<><

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Thu Mar 12, 2009 3:45 am UTC
by Dimetrodon
Me and a friend were trying to replicate the double-slit light experiment with an index card*, after a discussion on quantum mechanics- this wasn't part of class, it was during a break. A kid walks by:
Kid: What are you doing?
Me: Quantum Mechanics!
Kid: ...I don't get it.
Me and friend, at the same time: Neither do we!

(*I figured it out later, at home. Pretty cool.)

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Thu Mar 12, 2009 11:20 pm UTC
by kernelpanic
rat4000 wrote:
kernelpanic wrote:Today this happened in math:
Spoiler:
Student: I don't know nothing about this!
Teacher: You mean "I don't know anything"
Student: I don't get it
Teacher: That's a double negative. You can't have them in English. There are languages, like Spanish, where you can. Not English.
Me (shouting): No, that's not right!
I don't find it funny, but everyone laughed.


Note that he was STILL right as the "no" and "that's not right" are two different sentences forming a compound sentence. His not being precise as hell (he could've said "you can't have a double negative in a not-compound (no idea what the word for this is) sentence) does not mean he was wrong.

Unless you DID mean he was right, in which case I'm sorry.


Apology accepted.

About a week ago, in that same class, A student said:
S: Hey, Mr. Lawrence, there's a sexual reference in question 15!
Mr. L. (quickly realizing that the answer was 69, and extremely annoyed): Well, Maybe within your weird sexual preferences, which most of us normal people [i]will not[i] understand, there is one.
S: ...
Mr. L: I'm sorry
S: It's okay.
Mr. L: So I WAS right, then?

And today in English:
Racist Student: Once you're black, you can't go back.
Teacher: What about Michael Jackson? Also, stand up.
RS: *Stands up*
T: Turn 90 degrees left, walk three steps forward, turn 90 degrees left, walk 7 steps forward, open the door, walk 3 steps forward, turn 180 degrees, close the door, and walk backwards until you hit something.
RS: Do I turn 180 degrees left or right?
T: Right. You know what, after you all of that, write a 1024 word essay on why you are an idiot. 1024 exactly. And it has to make sense if I cut it into two 512 word halves and read them independently.

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Fri Mar 13, 2009 6:14 pm UTC
by pseudoidiot
I think my favorite part was the "Do I turn 180 degrees left or right?"

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Fri Mar 13, 2009 6:28 pm UTC
by Gazared
EDIT: Ugh. I'm an idiot.

Well, here are some student quotes:

French class
Male Student: Hanson, I'm thinking, senior year, I'm gonna take down your poster in the display case and stand there all day.
Hanson: And what? Stand there and talk? "Bonjour!" Saluuuuuut!" Like that?
Student: I was thinking, actually, just making weird faces while half naked.

Student: I don't care if you dyed [your hair]; you're foxy. Were you hot when you were younger?

Student: [reading her story] ... They haul ass up the Eiffel Tower.

Speech
Student A: Is that Jesus on your paper?
Student B: No, it's Hosbond with a Luigi hat.
Student C: So, close.

Brit Lit
Student: [referring to Claudius and Hamlet Sr] Best friends forever!
Hucke: I'm thinking no.

... and then there's the time I was told that I'd make a good porno writer. My friends are weird.

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Fri Mar 13, 2009 6:32 pm UTC
by Robert'); DROP TABLE *;
"Will you eat the chair?"
Unfortunatly, this was said just as the room went oddly quiet.

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Fri Mar 13, 2009 11:03 pm UTC
by Clorox
We were in band once, and the trumpets, who sit in front of us, were really sucking at a particularly difficult part. The band director eventually said, "Trumpets, if I made you play that 50 times, you'd be dead!" Immediately after, my friend sitting next to me said "GOOD" really loud. I thought it was loud, but apparently only I and two others near us heard it. We burst out in laughter.

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2009 3:42 am UTC
by ashgray
Girl behind me in 8th grade science: What's an orgasm?

*facepalm*

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2009 6:48 am UTC
by Boredpotatoetwo
lol,
this started on AIM, but kinda turned into an inside joke.

Friend: Rawr.
Me: Angry or Sexy
Friend: Sexy!
Me: Ok then...interesting....

-KR

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2009 1:54 pm UTC
by Chfan
I don't get it, ashgray. You find it weird that a preteen is just now learning about sex? Wow...

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2009 4:50 pm UTC
by Gazared
I think it's the fact that she chose that particular moment to ask about it. It's not the best time to be asking about sex.

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2009 1:48 pm UTC
by Krakatoa
"Is Queensland bigger than Tasmania?"

She thought this was a completely legitimate question and had no idea why the rest of the class was laughing so hard.

(For those not up to scratch on their Australian geography, Queensland is about 30-40 times bigger than Tasmania.)

Re: Awesome Student Quotes

Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2009 5:30 pm UTC
by Monika
Chfan wrote:I don't get it, ashgray. You find it weird that a preteen is just now learning about sex? Wow...

Preteen? Kids are 13 when they enter 8th grade.

And she sure should have found out on the internet ;) .