Scaling Spaghetti: the memoirs of Jack N. Coake

Apparently, people like to eat.

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Scaling Spaghetti: the memoirs of Jack N. Coake

Postby Bakemaster » Wed Nov 14, 2007 5:08 pm UTC

Excerpted from chapter 14 of the full work:

...the twins were the first to make it up; I saw their boots vanish above me, and I heard Burt's voice in the wind, though the words were smothered. Ollie's hand appeared from out of the haze of white and seized me by the sleeve of my jacket, pulling me up to the summit. For the first time in hours, I stood flat on my feet and looked my comrades in the eyes. Burt and Ollie were fuzzy where the flakes had accumulated on their jackets, shiny and slick around their scarves where it had been melted by the heat of their breath.

Remembering where I was, I turned around to assist Dr. Bollardi, whose piton had gone too deep and opened a hole the size of your head just below the edge. He came up covered in the mountain's pungent sauce, shivering and panting. If only he had reached for another handhold; if only one of the twins had taken his hand instead of I; if only something had been different, it might have been avoided.

Maybe it was the cheese in the air, or maybe it was the cold and the sauce. I've replayed it in my mind so many times, the curious look that crossed his face, the wrinkled nose, the tightly shut eyes... The violent sneeze and his hand coming off the mountain, like a wave good-bye. The flap on my pack coming loose (I was never good with knots) as I dove onto my stomach trying to save him. But most of all, I remember watching all my provisions silently fly down into the Parmesan flurries as they poured from my open rucksack, rushing after Bollardi as if to accompany him into the next world. I hope it's a warmer world than this one; maybe when I go he'll be there waiting for me, with my canteen, my toothbrush, and my poor meatball...

(This post is dedicated to the new forum, and to Hammer who liked my smörgås-board joke. It is pure frivolity.)
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Re: Scaling Spaghetti: the memoirs of Jack N. Coake

Postby Hammer » Fri Nov 16, 2007 3:18 pm UTC

* reads, enjoys, and responds in kind *
"What's wrong with you mathematicians? Cake is never a problem."

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Re: Scaling Spaghetti: the memoirs of Jack N. Coake

Postby Bakemaster » Fri Nov 16, 2007 4:02 pm UTC

~Epilogue~

Dr. Bollardi was survived by a wife and two sons, who moved after his tragic accident from their native Tuscany to the United States, where their younger son studied to become a chef. He later started his own canned food company, with limited success until he Americanized his name to Boyardee, at which point things really took off.

The twins, Burt and Ollie, returned home. They later inherited the family olive farm and went into business pressing oil; eventually they would expand internationally, producing boxed pasta and sauces as well.

I... Well, I drink a lot. And my author is at work and has something to work on now. So he's killing me off. WHAM! Just like that, a 1-ton anvil, right in the kisser!

~Fin~
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