Goofus and Gallant together <3

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4=5
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Goofus and Gallant together <3

Postby 4=5 » Sun Apr 20, 2008 2:40 am UTC

for those of you who don't know, goofus and gallant are charecters used by highlights magazine to illustrate correct behavior in a not so subtle way.
Image
I was recently surfing the tubes and found this (not work safe) story of Goofus and Gallant discovering love together. After I stopped laughing, crawling up off the floor, and got back in my chair, I realized this was too good not to share
Last edited by 4=5 on Sun Apr 20, 2008 9:20 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.

joeframbach
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Re: Goofus and Gallant together <3

Postby joeframbach » Sun Apr 20, 2008 2:53 am UTC

This is priceless.
Unexpected, yet completely expected.

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Blubb3r3ng3l
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Re: Goofus and Gallant together <3

Postby Blubb3r3ng3l » Sun Apr 20, 2008 8:58 pm UTC

oh wow.
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Godeler
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Re: Goofus and Gallant together <3

Postby Godeler » Sun Apr 20, 2008 10:36 pm UTC

Rule 34 has done its work. Well done, whoever wrote this. I salute it, but am at the same time appalled...
Even stick figures drawn with passion have more soul in them than the greatest masterpiece of a charlatan.

joey12345345
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Re: Goofus and Gallant together <3

Postby joey12345345 » Sat Mar 14, 2009 3:56 pm UTC

Wow. It isn't even good-premise-bad-writing IKEA erotica. Someone actually devoted time to this. Kudos to the author.

Godeler: How are you surprised by this?

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Xanthir
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Re: Goofus and Gallant together <3

Postby Xanthir » Sat Mar 14, 2009 6:37 pm UTC

I agree. I ran into that some time ago when I had a weird slash kick. Everyone around me suffered, because I would share links to stuff that was horrible, but so compelling*.

That Goofus/Gallant slash is high-quality.

*: Slave Bear of Care-A-Lot
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Clumpy
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Re: Goofus and Gallant together <3

Postby Clumpy » Sun Mar 15, 2009 4:03 am UTC

Wow. That's much better than my right-wing, left-wing Goofus & Gallant parody I did a few years back. That site really took things to the inevitable, grotesque conclusion.

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Gelsamel
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Re: Goofus and Gallant together <3

Postby Gelsamel » Sun Mar 15, 2009 7:32 am UTC

So in a world of gallants the apple stays there until it rots?
"Give up here?"
- > No
"Do you accept defeat?"
- > No
"Do you think games are silly little things?"
- > No
"Is it all pointless?"
- > No
"Do you admit there is no meaning to this world?"
- > No

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fyrenwater
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Re: Goofus and Gallant together <3

Postby fyrenwater » Mon Mar 16, 2009 5:12 am UTC

I really want to check out the link, but I've learned (the hard way) that curiosity + internet (with porn) = OH GOD MY MIND.

So... can someone sum it up, plz?
...It made more sense in my head.

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Lucrece
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Re: Goofus and Gallant together <3

Postby Lucrece » Mon Mar 16, 2009 6:35 am UTC

fyrenwater wrote:I really want to check out the link, but I've learned (the hard way) that curiosity + internet (with porn) = OH GOD MY MIND.

So... can someone sum it up, plz?


Spoiler:
Gallant's kindness/being considerate is always met with terse responses. Goofus likes the mild-mannered boy. At the end of the day, Goofus pushes Gallant into fucking him.

What's so neat about the slash is how the author utterly captures the format and characterization. Not a single action was far-fetched.
Belial wrote:That's charming, Nancy, but all I hear when you talk is a bunch of yippy dog sounds.

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mazzilliu
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Re: Goofus and Gallant together <3

Postby mazzilliu » Mon Mar 16, 2009 1:48 pm UTC

Gelsamel wrote:So in a world of gallants the apple stays there until it rots?



Gallant doesn't waste food.

Goofus throws rotting apples at passing cars.
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Clumpy
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Re: Goofus and Gallant together <3

Postby Clumpy » Mon Mar 16, 2009 3:41 pm UTC

fyrenwater wrote:I really want to check out the link, but I've learned (the hard way) that curiosity + internet (with porn) = OH GOD MY MIND.

So... can someone sum it up, plz?


It's not illustrated, though that would be funny. Should be safe.

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fyrenwater
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Re: Goofus and Gallant together <3

Postby fyrenwater » Mon Mar 16, 2009 8:13 pm UTC

Read it.
...I think it's my favorite slash fiction EVAR.
(Well, it's also the first slash fiction I've ever read, so...)

LTB.
...It made more sense in my head.

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RealGrouchy
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Re: Goofus and Gallant together <3

Postby RealGrouchy » Fri Mar 20, 2009 10:50 am UTC

4=5 wrote:for those of you who don't know, goofus and gallant are charecters used by highlights magazine to illustrate correct behavior in a not so subtle way.
Image
I was recently surfing the tubes and found this (not work safe) story of Goofus and Gallant discovering love together. After I stopped laughing, crawling up off the floor, and got back in my chair, I realized this was too good not to share
1) in the second line of the reference image, they're totally comparing apples and oranges!

Also, there's a continuity error:
Spoiler:
Gallant considerately withdraws from his partner before ejaculating.

Goofus cries out, "Spray it on me!"
but earlier...
Gallant fumbles as he clumsily attempts to place the condom on his member.

Goofus easily slips the condom onto Gallant.

Otherwise very funny and worth reading.

Oh, and this doesn't belong in N&A.

- RG>
Jack Saladin wrote:etc., lock'd
Mighty Jalapeno wrote:At least he has the decency to REMOVE THE GAP BETWEEN HIS QUOTES....
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Sharlos
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Re: Goofus and Gallant together <3

Postby Sharlos » Fri Mar 20, 2009 11:47 am UTC

But I'm telling you, I only read it for the articles!

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Narsil
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Re: Goofus and Gallant together <3

Postby Narsil » Fri Mar 20, 2009 8:07 pm UTC

I don't feel so well anymore.

I skipped past the last half of the goofus thing, but I read all of the care bears one.

I mean, damn. That guy who wrote it seems pretty intelligent. It's a shame he had to use his powers for evil.
Spoiler:
EsotericWombat wrote:MORE JUNK THAN YOUR BODY HAS ROOM FOR

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Oh... that.

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podbaydoor
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Re: Goofus and Gallant together <3

Postby podbaydoor » Fri Mar 20, 2009 10:03 pm UTC

The Slave-Bear of Care-A-Lot fic is legendary in fandom. I also encourage you to look up My Little Pony fic. *cheery*
tenet |ˈtenit|
noun
a principle or belief, esp. one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy : the tenets of classical liberalism.
tenant |ˈtenənt|
noun
a person who occupies land or property rented from a landlord.


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