The following writers gave me a bloody nose

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The following writers gave me a bloody nose

Postby Izawwlgood » Fri Nov 30, 2007 7:34 pm UTC

Neal Stephenson, Warren Ellis, Chuck Palahnuik, Jon Brunner, Dan Simmons

Who would you like to drink with, brawl with, get lost in the wilderness with?
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Re: The following writers gave me a bloody nose

Postby creamsoda2090 » Fri Nov 30, 2007 9:40 pm UTC

Living authors only?
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Re: The following writers gave me a bloody nose

Postby Allium Cepa » Fri Nov 30, 2007 9:50 pm UTC

If not only living authors, then Hemmingway. That guy was the most badass person to have ever lived.
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Re: The following writers gave me a bloody nose

Postby kahlesster » Fri Nov 30, 2007 10:31 pm UTC

Hemmingway was pretty awesome. How about Edgar Rice Bourroughs? He wanted to be on the frontlines of the Pacific Theater of WWII. He was over 60 at the time.

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Re: The following writers gave me a bloody nose

Postby tiny » Sat Dec 01, 2007 12:19 am UTC

I'd want to visit a Native American cemetary with Steven King and beat him up with a broomstick there.
After that I'd want to chat with Margaret Mitchell about how she managed to become so evil and sarcastic.
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Re: The following writers gave me a bloody nose

Postby creamsoda2090 » Sat Dec 01, 2007 7:54 am UTC

I'd want to drink and brawl with Charles Bukowski. That guy knew drinking and brawling. He tells a story about a guy loosely based on himself entering a bar in Texas and immediately ordering a beer and drinking it down fast. When he finished he ordered another and a big burly guy sitting around the bar came and sat next to him and says, "That's the kind of drinking I like to see." They make some small talk about how some punks come in and just nurse their beer. Finally, the guy says, "I like you stranger, so I'm going to confide in you. But I wanna say it real quiet, because even though I'm a big guy, I'm afraid we're a bit outnumbered."

"Shoot", says the Bukowski character.

"Texans stink," the stranger whispered.

The Bukowski character looked around, then quietly nodded, yes.

The stranger hit him and he went down under a table. He got out from under the table, stood up and left, the whole bar laughing at him.

That's the beginning of the story. A series of other unrelated events happen and finally Bukowski is ready to leave Texas. But not before he has one more drink. You see, Bukowski is one stubborn bastard. He enters that same bar, drinks one beer and orders another.

"I remember you," says the big guy, "you remember me?"

"I remember you."

"I thought you'd never be back."

"I'm back, Let's play the little game."

"We don't play games here in Texas, stranger."

"Yeah?"

"You still think Texans stink?"

"Some of them do."

The big guy hit him again, knocked him down under a table. He got out from under the table, stood up, and walked out. He left Texas that day.

That's poorly adapted from "Life in a Texas Whorehouse" by Bukowski.

Getting beat up may not be the manliest thing, but his nihilistic attitude is something extraordinary and should be admired, from a distance.

The movie Barfly is also about him and that pretty much sums up why he'd be perfect.

I'd want to get lost in the wilderness with Kerouac probably. I'm not even a big fan of his writing, he just seems like he was always fascinated with everything and could talk, talk, talk.

tiny wrote:I'd want to visit a Native American cemetary with Steven King and beat him up with a broomstick there.
After that I'd want to chat with Margaret Mitchell about how she managed to become so evil and sarcastic.


I'm interested in why you'd want to beat up King. He seems like an alright guy. I really like some of his work.

Actually, I'm interested in why you don't like Margaret Mitchell as well. I have a copy of Gone With the Wind on my shelf but have yet to get to it.

edit: I was just reading the thread where you describe how you LIKE Margaret Mitchell. I get it. Thanks
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Re: The following writers gave me a bloody nose

Postby tiny » Sat Dec 01, 2007 9:55 am UTC

creamsoda2090 wrote:Getting beat up may not be the manliest thing, but his nihilistic attitude is something extraordinary and should be admired, from a distance.
Sounds good :D

tiny wrote:I'd want to visit a Native American cemetary with Steven King and beat him up with a broomstick there.
After that I'd want to chat with Margaret Mitchell about how she managed to become so evil and sarcastic.
I'm interested in why you'd want to beat up King. He seems like an alright guy. I really like some of his work.
I don't know him personally, but there are way too many Native American cemetaries in his stories. Too many characters are authors, too much repeats itself.
I like the movie they made of 'Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption', though. Very nice, witty plot. And no Native American cemetary.

Actually, I'm interested in why you don't like Margaret Mitchell as well. I have a copy of Gone With the Wind on my shelf but have yet to get to it.
edit: I was just reading the thread where you describe how you LIKE Margaret Mitchell. I get it. Thanks
:D La Mitchell is one of the deieties in my personal pantheon. I hope you like Gone With The Wind.
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Re: The following writers gave me a bloody nose

Postby Narsil » Sat Dec 01, 2007 3:07 pm UTC

I thought the thread meant "Writers that were so awful they made my brain hemorrhage, liquefy, and come out my nose."
In this case, Christopher Paolini.

In the way you meant, however, I would choose Cormac McCarthy.
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Re: The following writers gave me a bloody nose

Postby Izawwlgood » Sun Dec 02, 2007 8:39 pm UTC

Hey, being able to take a punch is far manlier then relying on getting the first one in. I'm more scared of the guy who doesn't go down then the guy whose jittery and quick to act. Also, you have to reason that someone who can take a punch has been in enough fights before to know what to do, and won't lose his cool.

Edgar Rice Burroughs knows the frontier gentlemen.

Stan Lee would probably be good in a brawl. In his prime. And hey, you can't forget Upton Sinclair.

It'd be fun to beat up Thoreu.
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Re: The following writers gave me a bloody nose

Postby xndrew » Sun Dec 02, 2007 9:35 pm UTC

Narsil wrote:In the way you meant, however, I would choose Cormac McCarthy.

Any man that could write Judge Holden could probably kill you with his eye lashes. I bet Mr. McCarthy could toss a couple back too.

I'd like to get hella drunk with Kurt Vonnegut. He's just a funny guy, probably has good stories too, I like his writing enough.

I'd get lost in the woods with Dave Eggers in a heart beat. Mother fucker can write in any voice he damn well pleases. And he's funny too.

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Re: The following writers gave me a bloody nose

Postby Malice » Sun Dec 02, 2007 11:40 pm UTC

tiny wrote:
tiny wrote:I'd want to visit a Native American cemetary with Steven King and beat him up with a broomstick there.
After that I'd want to chat with Margaret Mitchell about how she managed to become so evil and sarcastic.
I'm interested in why you'd want to beat up King. He seems like an alright guy. I really like some of his work.
I don't know him personally, but there are way too many Native American cemetaries in his stories. Too many characters are authors, too much repeats itself.


First of all, as far as I can remember, there is one Native American burial ground in all of King's work, ever. I believe that novel has two scenes.

Two, the guy's written like 60 books. Anybody would start to repeat themselves.

Three, most authors talk about the same things that interest them, even over a period of years. For example, the last 4 Philip K. Dick books I've read, selected at random, ended up being about schizophrenia, paranoia, the nature of reality, and interplanetary travel.

Four: Probably the only thing stopping Cormac McCarthy from taking over Texas (with two sticks and a boot!) and emancipating it again is his sense of honor.
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Re: The following writers gave me a bloody nose

Postby tiny » Mon Dec 03, 2007 11:12 am UTC

Malice wrote:Three, most authors talk about the same things that interest them, even over a period of years. For example, the last 4 Philip K. Dick books I've read, selected at random, ended up being about schizophrenia, paranoia, the nature of reality, and interplanetary travel.
And that's exactly the moment when a person should stop writing for some time to engage in discovering new interests.
Creativity is not about regurgitation beloved or successful concepts over and over again, it's about creating new stuff and developing your personality as much as your chosen form of art.
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Re: The following writers gave me a bloody nose

Postby Izawwlgood » Mon Dec 03, 2007 6:50 pm UTC

Oh! Thanks for the reminder:
A writer is one of those professions that cannot afford to remove their ties to life, or they cease to be able to write about it. For example, anyone ever read the list of jobs that Frank Herbert held before being a writer? I'm going to botch this, but it was something like:
Air Traffic Controller, Pearl Diver, Boxer, Dishwasher, Dog Trainer, Radio broadcaster, rocket designer, assassin, 'consultant'...
You get the idea...
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Re: The following writers gave me a bloody nose

Postby opsomath » Tue Dec 04, 2007 4:29 pm UTC

I want to go get hammered with Jack London, Rudyard Kipling, and Henry Lawson in a bar in my college town, and pick a fight with a bunch of frat guys.

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Re: The following writers gave me a bloody nose

Postby theamberkey » Mon Dec 24, 2007 1:25 pm UTC

Izawwlgood wrote:Neal Stephenson, Warren Ellis, Chuck Palahnuik, Jon Brunner, Dan Simmons


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Re: The following writers gave me a bloody nose

Postby MotorToad » Mon Dec 24, 2007 3:49 pm UTC

tiny wrote:I'd want to visit a Native American cemetary with Steven King and beat him up with a broomstick there.
While you're beating him up, I'll take his money. You can have whatever I can't carry (in a van).

Whiskey. Samuel Clemmons.

I'd also like to toss a beer or four back with Terry Pratchett and Douglas Adams.

I want to ride motorcycles with T. E. Lawrence. Him on his Brough Superior and me on a new, very fast bike, so I could keep up.
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Re: The following writers gave me a bloody nose

Postby insomnius » Mon Dec 24, 2007 8:22 pm UTC

If I were to get drunk with a bunch of writers it would be Ernest Hemingway, John Steinbeck, Jack Kerouac and Charles Bukowski. Either there would be arguing and a fight would break out or we'd all get maudlin and bitter. Or maybe both.

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Re: The following writers gave me a bloody nose

Postby Izawwlgood » Mon Dec 24, 2007 11:36 pm UTC

Maybe we should change this thread "Writers I'd like to get drunk with and beatup".

Kerouac. Salinger. Bronte (both of them...)...
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Re: The following writers gave me a bloody nose

Postby 0range » Wed Dec 26, 2007 6:36 pm UTC

David Gemmell
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Re: The following writers gave me a bloody nose

Postby bbctol » Wed Dec 26, 2007 9:07 pm UTC

Lord Byron. Now there was a man.

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Re: The following writers gave me a bloody nose

Postby My Uncivilized God » Thu Dec 27, 2007 4:00 am UTC

bbctol wrote:Lord Byron. Now there was a man.


The only kind of drunk you can be around Byron is maudlin, after you've read Darkness.
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Re: The following writers gave me a bloody nose

Postby Narsil » Thu Dec 27, 2007 4:23 am UTC

bbctol wrote:Lord Byron. Now there was a man.

By a tangential connection, did anyone ever see the episode of The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy with Lord Byron? That was ten kinds of awesome.
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Re: The following writers gave me a bloody nose

Postby xndrew » Thu Dec 27, 2007 4:01 pm UTC

bbctol wrote:Lord Byron. Now there was the man.

fix'd

But in all seriousness, I'm getting the Tyger tattooed on my arm, even though his drawing of it is completely emaciated and weak. Gotta like a guy who immediately destroys the image he created with a wimpy ass drawing.

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Re: The following writers gave me a bloody nose

Postby Aleril » Sun Jan 13, 2008 1:59 am UTC

Narsil wrote:
bbctol wrote:Lord Byron. Now there was a man.

By a tangential connection, did anyone ever see the episode of The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy with Lord Byron? That was ten kinds of awesome.


Where he try to teach Billy how to be cool? Yea. That was awesome.

So wait, is this a "Which author would you like to meet" sort of thing? If so, Camus.
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Re: The following writers gave me a bloody nose

Postby parkaboy » Sun Jan 13, 2008 2:28 am UTC

i'm pretty sure i'd like to beat the crap out of Hemmingway with some of his paragraph-long sentences.

i would like to chat with Gaiman. I'd like to get dean koontz really drunk and ask him why he dropped the ball on the end of so many books that could have been really good.
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Re: The following writers gave me a bloody nose

Postby The Spherical Cow » Sun Jan 13, 2008 12:49 pm UTC

xndrew wrote:
bbctol wrote:Lord Byron. Now there was the man.

fix'd

But in all seriousness, I'm getting the Tyger tattooed on my arm, even though his drawing of it is completely emaciated and weak. Gotta like a guy who immediately destroys the image he created with a wimpy ass drawing.

Step away from that needle!

The Tyger is by William Blake, not Byron. Said weak drawing is by Blake too.

I find it's best to know what you're about to have engraved into your skin.

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Re: The following writers gave me a bloody nose

Postby xndrew » Mon Jan 14, 2008 5:55 am UTC

The Spherical Cow wrote:
xndrew wrote:
bbctol wrote:Lord Byron. Now there was the man.

fix'd

But in all seriousness, I'm getting the Tyger tattooed on my arm, even though his drawing of it is completely emaciated and weak. Gotta like a guy who immediately destroys the image he created with a wimpy ass drawing.

Step away from that needle!

The Tyger is by William Blake, not Byron. Said weak drawing is by Blake too.

I find it's best to know what you're about to have engraved into your skin.


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Though, I don't actually remember making that post. I might've been very drunk or very high. Hmm...

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Re: The following writers gave me a bloody nose

Postby pollywog » Mon Jan 14, 2008 7:27 am UTC

Drinking and partying beat-style with Jack Kerouac and friends would be pretty cool.
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Re: The following writers gave me a bloody nose

Postby Torvaun » Fri Jan 18, 2008 12:48 am UTC

Pat Rothfuss is an awesome guy. I wouldn't want to be in a fight against him, because he is large, and moves faster than a guy that big has any right to. Maybe the both of us could band together to go beat on Arthur Miller.
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Re: The following writers gave me a bloody nose

Postby Izawwlgood » Fri Jan 18, 2008 5:40 am UTC

Frank Miller would probably channel batman and leave me for dead. But I'd take his wife hostage, because she probably looks like the luscious babes she draws :shock:
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Re: The following writers gave me a bloody nose

Postby thalia » Sat Jan 19, 2008 6:08 am UTC

Without a shadow of a doubting Thomas, I'd have to say Douglas Adams. If I could pick anyone in this life to resurrect and stalk/befriend, itd be him.

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Re: The following writers gave me a bloody nose

Postby Jahoclave » Sun Jan 20, 2008 10:11 pm UTC

Izawwlgood wrote:Maybe we should change this thread "Writers I'd like to get drunk with and beatup".

Kerouac. Salinger. Bronte (both of them...)...


Except for I don't want to be drunk when I beat up Paolini, I want to savour ever sweat moment of the vengeance dealt out upon him by the English Language and Good Standards of Literature.

I'd definitely get drunk with Adams and Pratchet. Dr. Suess as well, that guy is like the Robin Williams of literature. Sure, he makes those great kids movies, but deep down, you don't want him anywhere near them.

I'd also like to hang with Churchill and Wilfred Owen.

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Re: The following writers gave me a bloody nose

Postby Migratory » Fri Feb 01, 2008 3:11 pm UTC

For the drinking and brawling, Christopher Marlowe. That would be a good evening.

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Re: The following writers gave me a bloody nose

Postby Felstaff » Sat Feb 02, 2008 1:56 pm UTC

Tennessee Williams.

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Re: The following writers gave me a bloody nose

Postby Wolf » Sat Feb 02, 2008 6:03 pm UTC

I'd go drinking in some dive with Hemmingway, Salinger, and F. Scott Fitzgerald.

The next day, after I recovered from the hangover, I'd go drinking with Terry Pratchett to lift my spirits.

And then all five of us would go beat up James Joyce. Maybe. (His writing was good but analysis made me hate it.)

I'd at least verbally abuse him.
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