Page 1 of 1

Dante's Inferno: The Game!

Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 4:33 pm UTC
by Mr. Mack
I was thinking about saying, "Don't worry, you didn't misread the title." But I supposed it'd be more accurate to say, "Do worry, you didn't misread the title." The mere idea is far more horrifying than anything actually in The Divine Comedy.
Wired.com wrote:EA's take still features Dante as the protagonist, but the poet-philosopher is now a hulking veteran of the Crusades. He returns home from war to find Beatrice, the subject of his love and admiration, murdered. When her soul is "kidnapped" by Lucifer himself, Dante dives down to the very depths of hell, armed with Death's scythe, to win her back.
Everbody! Quick, facepalm as hard as you can!

This game would be laugh out lout stupid if it weren't so depressing. Hell, I almost admire the can-do attitude that it took to make a game based on a work that doesn't have a story in the traditional sense. Almost, but not quite, or at all actually.

Oh, and here's a video.

I wonder what they'll do next? Maybe a Slaughterhouse-Five game that's a WWII first person shooter (with time control abilities, of course). Any other ideas?

Re: Dante's Inferno: The Game!

Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 5:31 pm UTC
by Tomo
I don't really see what the problem is, the game looks cool. if it plays well enough I'll be buying it.

Re: Dante's Inferno: The Game!

Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 5:40 pm UTC
by philsov
Lucifer may cry!

Sim-Lord of the Flies would be pretty cool, imo.

Re: Dante's Inferno: The Game!

Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 5:45 pm UTC
by Aikanaro
....I hate myself for knowing this game will be a bastardization, yet really wanting to play it anyway.....

Re: Dante's Inferno: The Game!

Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 6:01 pm UTC
by annals
Wow, that's hilarious. Though they could have made it way better by sticking to the book and peppering the circles of hell with current politicians being tormented in special ways for their sins.

Crime and Punishment: After realizing that traditional morality is worthless, you begin systematically murdering the elderly and wealthy citizens of St. Petersburg. With your "ill gotten" gains you are able to found an underworld empire...but how long will it be before your crimes catch up with you?

Re: Dante's Inferno: The Game!

Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 6:25 pm UTC
by grythyttan
annals wrote:Crime and Punishment: After realizing that traditional morality is worthless, you begin systematically murdering the elderly and wealthy citizens of St. Petersburg. With your "ill gotten" gains you are able to found an underworld empire...but how long will it be before your crimes catch up with you?
Wouldn't that basically be GTA: St. Petersburg?

Re: Dante's Inferno: The Game!

Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 6:33 pm UTC
by annals
Yes, but with more angst. You'd have to add in some frantic buggy chases, too, I guess.

Re: Dante's Inferno: The Game!

Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 7:02 pm UTC
by Rakysh
I feel kind of sorry for people who have to come up with ideas for games. Pick something to far out, and no-one will play it. Do ANOTHER space marine FPS, and you will be lambasted. Films are pretty much off limits- the movie tie-in has far too much history. I suppose all they're left with is classic literature.

Re: Dante's Inferno: The Game!

Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 7:09 pm UTC
by Gellert1984
So it'll be another game for frothing at the mouth FPS players?

I havent watched the movie, i can only see the keyboard because im holding my head in my hands.

Re: Dante's Inferno: The Game!

Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 7:24 pm UTC
by Narsil
I made a LittleBigPlanet level of the first 5 cantos of the Inferno once. I can almost guarantee it's more accurate.

Maybe accuracy doesn't translate to fun, though.

At any rate, they relied a bit too heavily on the smoky effect, but at the end I liked the horrible sludgy goo world that Cerberus was in. I'm mildly intrigued.

If they do a similar trashification of The Count of Monte Cristo I'd probably buy it.

Re: Dante's Inferno: The Game!

Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 7:39 pm UTC
by Izawwlgood
Bahahahahaha! Ha... Aha... BAhahahahahahahaha... Aheh... Ha... ha.... Eheheh... HahahaA!
It's like God of War meets Ninja Gaiden meets Indulgences!
Dudes, Just think of the doors it'll open!

The Jane Eyre Dilemma! Catch-22: The Irony! Cats Cradle: ARMAGEDDON!
Metamorphosis: The ALIENATION

Re: Dante's Inferno: The Game!

Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 9:23 pm UTC
by Babam
It kind of looks good, I get the reason behind the scythe if none if you caught it, he dives after his wife who is in deaths hands, and he steals deaths scythe.

I'll play it any ways, but I really need to read Dante's Inferno.

Re: Dante's Inferno: The Game!

Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 1:48 am UTC
by aion7
I facepalmed when I saw it. What's next, the Illiad done like Dynasty warriors? Great Expectations where Pip can shoot fireballs out of his eyes and has a seven-foot long broadsword? The epic of Gilgamesh with all the characters replaced by minigun laser toting mechs?

I think that as well as classic literature they should video game-ify classic movies also. Naked Lunch typing tutor, anyone?

Re: Dante's Inferno: The Game!

Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 2:10 am UTC
by headprogrammingczar
Dr Strangelove: Fistcuffs in the War-room. No matter what, everyone loses.

Re: Dante's Inferno: The Game!

Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 8:18 am UTC
by Mr. Mack
I thought of a few more:

Pheonix Wright: Kafka on Trial

Breakfast of Champions RPG (all the characters are NPCs, the programmers remind you of this constantly)

Escape the town using nothing but your wits and magic powers in The Crucible!

Get out your gatling gun and get ready to mow down the demon/zombie/knights from hell in Id software'z A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court.

Pheonix Wright: The Devil vs Daniel Webster

Be sure to play what critics are calling "The best RTS ever!", Ender's Game.

Irish Pac-Man! (inspired by the works of Jonathan Swift)

Fight the power and win back your freedom in EA's latest shooter, The Road to Serfdom.

Sonic the Hedgehog in Walden (I suppose I shouldn't kid about that, they might do it)

Aikanaro wrote:....I hate myself for knowing this game will be a bastardization, yet really wanting to play it anyway.....
Yeah, me too. Abomination or not, it still looks awesome. As far as I'm concerned they could make the game a lot better by just changing the title. Maybe they will if we can get everyone on the internet to only refer to it as "Bob."

Re: Dante's Inferno: The Game!

Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 3:43 pm UTC
by Izawwlgood
God of War was a pretty hardcore bastardization of mythology. And American McGee's Alice in Wonderland was no different, albeit from a pretty cool story.

I just fail to see how someone could say "You know the personal journey Dante undertook as he toured hell? Yeah, lets add a health bar."

Re: Dante's Inferno: The Game!

Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 6:17 pm UTC
by Beacons!
Save Lenny from rampaging hordes of lynchers in Of Mice and Monsters

Re: Dante's Inferno: The Game!

Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 7:14 pm UTC
by Tomo
Izawwlgood wrote:I just fail to see how someone could say "You know the personal journey Dante undertook as he toured hell? Yeah, lets add a health bar."


Bet that's not what happened though, it looks the other way around. "Lets make a generic God of War clone, then google hell and find a funky title"

Either way, I really don't see what the fuss is outside of pretentious hacks getting wound up about a misuse of something they like. The worst that could happen is they'll make a terrible game, so just don't play it and no harm done. On the other hand it's possible that they'll make a fantastic piece of software blending elements of the original text with action orientated gameplay.

From what I've seen, both of these seem unlikely, and I'd put my money on making an average game I'll pick up second hand for a tenner. But who knows, and whatever happens it's likely to remind a few people who might have never read the book to go out and pick up a copy, and that can only be a good thing.

Re: Dante's Inferno: The Game!

Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 7:30 pm UTC
by Clumpy
Wait - there's still no Confessions of Saint Augustine game and they're making this one first!?

Anyway, doesn't it sort of defeat the purpose to make hell a place you can fight through? Besides, they already made it.

Re: Dante's Inferno: The Game!

Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 7:52 pm UTC
by BMW787
Izawwlgood wrote:I just fail to see how someone could say "You know the personal journey Dante undertook as he toured hell? Yeah, lets add a health bar."


And guns. Can't forget that.

I think it could be a fun game. I just have to pretend that this has nothing to do with Dante's Inferno and that it is just a coincidence. Somehow that makes it better.

Re: Dante's Inferno: The Game!

Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 8:00 pm UTC
by Aikanaro
Was the book before or after the crusades? If before, all they'd have to do is make the PC the son of Dante, who remembered the stories his father told him, and BAM, it's all fixed.

Re: Dante's Inferno: The Game!

Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 8:29 pm UTC
by Gellert1984
Aikanaro wrote:Was the book before or after the crusades? If before, all they'd have to do is make the PC the son of Dante, who remembered the stories his father told him, and BAM, it's all fixed.


Actually I'm surprised they didnt go with niven and pournelle's adaptation :Inferno. Basically the same except about a scifi writer who dies. Now using your idea, we take his son, big bad space marine, lotsa space marine guns, send him to hell and youve got halo meets doom.

Re: Dante's Inferno: The Game!

Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 8:41 pm UTC
by Izawwlgood
I got no problem with a game that deals with a crusader going to hell to save his dead wife. I have issue with a game that sets it in an allegory.

It'd be like making a State of Emergency clone set when Moses brought down the Commandments. Or a Diner Dash with Jesus handing out Fish.

Re: Dante's Inferno: The Game!

Posted: Fri Mar 27, 2009 3:12 am UTC
by BoomFrog
Mr. Mack wrote:Abomination or not, it still looks awesome. As far as I'm concerned they could make the game a lot better by just changing the title. Maybe they will if we can get everyone on the internet to only refer to it as "Bob."


But Bob is already taken, and a decent game.

Re: Dante's Inferno: The Game!

Posted: Fri Mar 27, 2009 4:24 am UTC
by Aura Nightbane
i dont really see the problem with it, seems like it might be a good game, ill get it, unless its a really crap game in the end, but i want to see how they actually get the storyline to work with the book, if they do at all.

Re: Dante's Inferno: The Game!

Posted: Fri Mar 27, 2009 8:02 pm UTC
by Draaglom
Oh wow. I actually want to play this quite a bit.


In completely unrelated news, I can't wait for Republic!, an RTS set in ancient Greece where you battle your adversaries on the quest to become Philosopher King of the World.

Re: Dante's Inferno: The Game!

Posted: Fri Mar 27, 2009 8:09 pm UTC
by Texas_Ben
Draaglom wrote:Oh wow. I actually want to play this quite a bit.


In completely unrelated news, I can't wait for Republic!, an RTS set in ancient Greece where you battle your adversaries on the quest to become Philosopher King of the World.

I heard that the planned sequel to that was called "The Prince" and was set in renaissance italy.

Re: Dante's Inferno: The Game!

Posted: Fri Mar 27, 2009 9:29 pm UTC
by Istrom