Zero Punctuation - (Yahtzee)

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Zero Punctuation - (Yahtzee)

Postby Irrefutable » Thu Jul 03, 2008 2:36 am UTC

Disclaimer - There is annother post about ZP made but its over a year old, small and died too fast. Also made no reference to the games Yahtzee also makes.

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/ ... unctuation

They are game reviews but they are insanely funny. About the only things i can ever remember laughing out loud at on my own. The content tends to be overly negative so i am tentative about trusting him.

Favorite quote - ' I supose the clinching flaw in this game which revolves around keeping people happy is that the people provoke empathy in the same way Jeremy Clarkson provokes anamalistic lust '

But wait, theres moar!

The guy also designs point and click em up games which are actually pretty bitching, worth checking out in a board moment.

http://www.fullyramblomatic.com/games.htm

Go, go enjoy!
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Re: Zero Punctuation - (Yahtzee)

Postby Alomax » Thu Jul 03, 2008 4:21 am UTC

I always enjoy his reviews. :) I view him as a counter-force to the review community at large, which are largely inclined to put a positive spin on their reviews for various reasons.
My favorite quote of his was from his GH3 review:
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Re: Zero Punctuation - (Yahtzee)

Postby nsmjohn » Thu Jul 03, 2008 4:43 am UTC

Yahtzee wrote:Or as I like to call it: The "fuck you" button.

Hahaha... Oh how I love that man.
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Re: Zero Punctuation - (Yahtzee)

Postby r1chard » Thu Jul 03, 2008 5:43 am UTC

Yahtzee is one of the best video game reviewers around, if only because he doesn't give a numeric or star rating.

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Re: Zero Punctuation - (Yahtzee)

Postby Ookami » Thu Jul 03, 2008 5:59 am UTC

I appreciate the fact that he's so harsh about most games. It makes it far more meaningful when he says something nice.

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Re: Zero Punctuation - (Yahtzee)

Postby GhostWolfe » Thu Jul 03, 2008 6:52 am UTC

I think my favourite Yahtzee moment was when discussing the length of time between US and Australian release dates. If I remember, I post the image, but if you watch closely when he displays the calendar pages you see:

US release ------------------- Judgement Day ------------------- Australian Release

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Re: Zero Punctuation - (Yahtzee)

Postby Crescent » Thu Jul 03, 2008 6:58 am UTC

Always look forward to watchin his videos, but I really don't put much stock in the reviews since he has bashed a lot of games that I found enjoyable to play.
I do like that fact that he doesn't use a score and the episode where he responded to hatemail was gold.
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Re: Zero Punctuation - (Yahtzee)

Postby Toeofdoom » Thu Jul 03, 2008 7:06 am UTC

I find it hilarious, and I find it even more hilarious when people I know go "but the smash review was wrong!".

No shit, dipstick. But it was funny, so we don't care.

Also, when we saw him talking at ACMI it was pretty hilarious how badly they underestimated the number of people who wanted to attend.
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Re: Zero Punctuation - (Yahtzee)

Postby Frimble » Thu Jul 03, 2008 10:45 am UTC

Umm, In the cases where I have actually played the game he is reviewing, I tend to agree with him. I don't think he's overly critical at all. Many game designers just seem to think that if the graphics are good enough the game doesn't matter.

Take his mentions of Morowind in the Oblivion review for example:

'I ran around some muddy countryside in the rain for a few hours fighting off weird subhuman creatures...'

'...and found that trying to switch between magic and weapons mid-battle was as smooth and intuitive as shifting from fifth to reverse in a car with a missing gear lever.' (yes; '.' I actually dare to punctuate the transcript. Will argue this if necessary. :) )

This is exactly right, the game claims to have customisable classes, but most of the combinations will either be weaker than the swords and armor version or indistinguishable from the same. The text in the credits says that he thought Morowind was quite good, but he acknowledges the fundamental flaws in the design. I would probably find his reviews very useful for choosing games if he reviewed more RPGs, I don't tend to play FPS much.
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Re: Zero Punctuation - (Yahtzee)

Postby Irrefutable » Thu Jul 03, 2008 12:17 pm UTC

Ookami wrote:I appreciate the fact that he's so harsh about most games. It makes it far more meaningful when he says something nice.


But far far less funny

Granted some of his best reviews are where he likes the game, like Bioshock, but the funniest bits o that review were still him being mean

Also wierdly enough i realy like the animations, especially some of the stuff you have to find like Wolfe pointed out. Imo the reviews would be worth it without the flimsy animation to back it up.
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Re: Zero Punctuation - (Yahtzee)

Postby Berengal » Thu Jul 03, 2008 12:21 pm UTC

I too tend to agree with him on games I've played. I mean, he might bash games I enjoyed (such as The Witcher), but he never really lied about a game (except the obvious exaggerations), so anything he says is wrong about a game usually IS wrong about the game. It's just a question of if you're able to ignore those errors and keep playing or not. I figure that it's his job to notice those flaws, so he does, but it doesn't mean he can't ignore them and enjoy games. I mean, he's brought up pictures of games he apparantly bashed in later reviews as examples of "good games of the genre that [Game] tried to impersonate but failed like [Clever allegory]."

He also has some good insights as to how the gaming industry works in general, I feel.
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Re: Zero Punctuation - (Yahtzee)

Postby Irrefutable » Thu Jul 03, 2008 12:22 pm UTC

He also despises CAD and rants about it alot, that wins him some plus points from the word go :)
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Re: Zero Punctuation - (Yahtzee)

Postby dyzzy » Thu Jul 03, 2008 2:38 pm UTC

The video he did just this week on webcomics was basically directed completely at CAD. It also contains the worst image he's ever done, and I had to pause because I was laughing too hard.
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Re: Zero Punctuation - (Yahtzee)

Postby ParanoidDrone » Thu Jul 03, 2008 5:41 pm UTC

My favorite quote of his is from the BioShock review.

Yahtzee wrote:I'm sick of games that claim to have "choice" but that only really come down to Mother Teresa or baby eating. All I'm saying is that a little middle ground is nice now and then. (*Cue picture of Mother Teresa eating a baby.*)

True, he's a bit harsh at times, but I get the distinct impression that the extreme sarcasm and negativity is The PointTM. He said it himself in the BioShock review -- the viewers don't like it when he's nice to a game. The reviews double as a form of entertainment, and picking out every flaw in a game and mercilessly mocking them is the best means to that end.
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Re: Zero Punctuation - (Yahtzee)

Postby Clumpy » Thu Jul 03, 2008 6:19 pm UTC

Hey - game reviewers overrated series all the time - Metroid, Zelda, Metal Gear Solid and Castlevania, and anything from Bungie gets an automatic 10 regardless of its innovation. Yahtzee actually talks about the weak parts of popular games, making him far more honest than the average reviewer.

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Re: Zero Punctuation - (Yahtzee)

Postby Jessica » Thu Jul 03, 2008 6:31 pm UTC

Personally, my favourite quote is from the GH3 review
ZP wrote:the day I shell out $80 for an expansion pack is the day I swallow razorwire, pull it out my ass and floss myself to death.
Last edited by Jessica on Thu Jul 03, 2008 9:54 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Zero Punctuation - (Yahtzee)

Postby nsmjohn » Thu Jul 03, 2008 7:36 pm UTC

From the Chains of Olympus review:

Yahtzee wrote:... and I wouldn't be the critic I like to think I am if I didn't furiously pick nits like an amphetamine fueled chimp.

From the Mailbag video:

Yahtzee wrote:I do point out every little thing that’s bad about a game, but then I am a critic it’d be weird if I didn’t. If I put people’s balls in my mouth for a living I’d be a prostitute or possibly a Gamespot employee.

I think he does a pretty good job of defending why he reviews games so harshly.
Last edited by nsmjohn on Thu Jul 03, 2008 7:46 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Zero Punctuation - (Yahtzee)

Postby Awia » Thu Jul 03, 2008 7:39 pm UTC

I was there before he sold out, I read his website, his comic, and played his games before he became famous.
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Re: Zero Punctuation - (Yahtzee)

Postby Ratclaw » Thu Jul 03, 2008 8:51 pm UTC

I love his reviews. And somehow, he seems to like(or hate) the same games I do. But the combination of his brilliant wit and those pictures in the background is too much.

Is it wrong that I've taken to trying to transcribe full reviews? I have one finished and I have a bunch I gave up on.

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Re: Zero Punctuation - (Yahtzee)

Postby aion7 » Thu Jul 03, 2008 8:56 pm UTC

Yes, his reviews are awesome.

I haven't tried his adventure games, but I have tried Trilby: The Art of Theft, and it's awesome, but Trilby is a douche. Seriously, "Hmm I seem to have tased a few people. I don't have any moral problems with that, nor do I have any lack of supplies that would make that not judicious, but I am going to abort the mission and leave everything I picked up behind anyway."
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Re: Zero Punctuation - (Yahtzee)

Postby thecommabandit » Thu Jul 03, 2008 9:51 pm UTC

I think you should approach Zero Punctation identically to anything Jeremy Clarkson does: Laugh like hell at it 'cos it's hella funny, but walk away with your opinions totally unchanged because he's a dick who seems to hate everything (except in Yahtzee's case Portal). Let me make it clear that I LOVE Zero Punctuation, but I don't really give a shit what he thinks. I watch, I laugh and I forget.
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Re: Zero Punctuation - (Yahtzee)

Postby Jessica » Thu Jul 03, 2008 9:58 pm UTC

The way I see it, is that he actually generally is good at picking out bad things in a game. He's rarely incorrect in his assessment of the problems of a game from his point of view.

Whether those problems are a) important to you or b) actually problems when you apply them to games you like is up to you. Like, say, mass effect. He complains that people spill their life story at you when you talk to them. And yet, this is a convention of the genre. If you like RPGs, you'll be fine with this. If you don't, it's not going to magically make you love it. Grains of salt and all that.
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Re: Zero Punctuation - (Yahtzee)

Postby willwithskills » Fri Jul 04, 2008 6:54 pm UTC

Yahtzee is awesome, plain and simple. I first got into him when he did his Halo 3 review, which also contains my favorite quote.

The difficulty level wavers up and down like the knickers of an indecisive whore...


That whole review was hilarious.
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Re: Zero Punctuation - (Yahtzee)

Postby Jessica » Fri Jul 04, 2008 7:28 pm UTC

The halo 3 review has my favourite insult, pants on head retarded.
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Re: Zero Punctuation - (Yahtzee)

Postby Irrefutable » Fri Jul 04, 2008 7:57 pm UTC

Ive subconciously started using it all the time as a joking insult.

Ive also started saying 'Batshit bonkers' alot aswell

Though tbh the most ive ever laughed is the first part of the Comdened 2 review, mainly because of the animation which cracks me up.

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Re: Zero Punctuation - (Yahtzee)

Postby AKAnotu » Fri Jul 04, 2008 8:03 pm UTC

My favorite is the oblivion review:
Now you start in a jail cell, but they never tell you your crime, so I prefer to think that I got in here by screwing the king's wife and daughter while playing a rock solo on the corpse of god.
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Re: Zero Punctuation - (Yahtzee)

Postby Irrefutable » Fri Jul 04, 2008 8:08 pm UTC

It worries me that i know its actually shagging the emporers wife and daughter at the same time while playing a rock guitar solo on the desacrated corpse of god.

I think i may have watched them too much..

Also does anyone else love the intro music choice, the best has to be 'Hello, goodbye' at the begining of the Halo review :)
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Re: Zero Punctuation - (Yahtzee)

Postby aion7 » Fri Jul 04, 2008 8:15 pm UTC

The music choices are always exactly right. I especially liked the choices in the The World Ends With You review. But hearing America (Fuck Yeah) after the Medal of Honor review made me laugh also.
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Re: Zero Punctuation - (Yahtzee)

Postby AKAnotu » Fri Jul 04, 2008 8:20 pm UTC

Irrefutable wrote:It worries me that i know its actually shagging the emporers wife and daughter at the same time while playing a rock guitar solo on the desacrated corpse of god.
Don't feel bad, I do this (random memorization) to a lot of things. Yahtzee just talks too fast, and I laugh too much for me to get the quotes right here without watching it many times.
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Re: Zero Punctuation - (Yahtzee)

Postby Jessica » Fri Jul 04, 2008 8:55 pm UTC

like the use of no more heroes on the no more heroes review and he stops it half way saying "no no, that's a little too on the nose"
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Re: Zero Punctuation - (Yahtzee)

Postby aion7 » Sat Jul 05, 2008 1:49 am UTC

Has anyone seen RPG-TV's reply to his webcomic episode (scroll down a little) yet? I thought it was funny, and made some good points.
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Re: Zero Punctuation - (Yahtzee)

Postby Rippy » Sat Jul 05, 2008 3:44 am UTC

I love ZP. He's actually a pretty good source for reviews too, you just have to keep in mind that it's not about whether he has bad things to say, it's about what those bad things are. He basically makes it sound like every game is crap because he brings out almost exclusively the negative aspects of the game. But if the negatives aren't that big of a deal, then you know that the rest is actually pretty good.

Basically, if Yahtzee gave a rating out of ten for every game, his 5/10 would be the equivalent to a 10/10 to other reviewers. Just got to shift his rating over a little.

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Re: Zero Punctuation - (Yahtzee)

Postby Berengal » Sat Jul 05, 2008 2:39 pm UTC

Rippy wrote:He basically makes it sound like every game is crap because he brings out almost exclusively the negative aspects of the game.

No he doesn't. I'd say at least half of the games he reviewed were "decent" to "awesome", with the rest being "below decent" to "utter crap". I mean, "I was actually having fun, despite the game treating me like a pedophile zombie dinosaur demon would treat the infant Jesus" is something he's said several times. I know most of it sounds negative, but being the rational man that I am, when someone says "This game is good/isn't bad. This is its faults." then I take that to mean that the game is good/isn't bad, and that the following is a list of its faults.
Or maybe I just learned to speak Yatzee and know what he really means, which was your point entirely.
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Re: Zero Punctuation - (Yahtzee)

Postby tryptanymph » Sat Jul 05, 2008 2:55 pm UTC

Yeah. I have to say, when I used to read gaming magazines, they often had a list of their 10/10 games. But certain games on that list would be inexplicably better than the others. For example, in one magazine I read, they gave Soul Caliber 3 and Metal Gear Solid 3 a 10/10 rating. As the pea-brained, teenaged, metalhead fool I was, I bought both of them, thinking, "Well, I've always liked fighting games, and Metal Gear Solid is my fave series evar!!"

I sat down to play Metal Gear Solid 3 first, because I was hyped about it. Man was that game awesome.

After I had completed it infinity billion times, I moved onto Soul Caliber 3. I played the versus for a while, to get used to the controls, and then hit up the story line.

About half way through I said, "WAHT." and threw the controller away, and attacked my TV in a hissy fit of PURE, UNADULTERATED, RAGE and traded Soul Caliber 3 in for Soul Caliber 2 and some money, and had lots more fun.

Okay, I exaggerate. Soul Caliber 3 was a good game. But when you compare it to other (at the time) modern fighting games, like Moral Kombat and Tekken 4 (5?) it was sluggish, almost required you to be a button basher, and the only thing it really had going for it was a 7ft tall black dude with a golden eye and a scythe!

For me, Soul Caliber 2: 10/10; Soul Caliber 3: 7/10

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Re: Zero Punctuation - (Yahtzee)

Postby GhostWolfe » Sun Jul 06, 2008 10:41 pm UTC

For all his harshness, he's never talked me out of playing a game I wanted to play. In fact, I prefer his "this is everything you're going to have to decide you can cope with before you shell out the money" approach.

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Re: Zero Punctuation - (Yahtzee)

Postby BobMacDhonnchaidh » Sun Jul 06, 2008 10:43 pm UTC

Just for inventing the word "clusterfuck," the man is a hero
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Re: Zero Punctuation - (Yahtzee)

Postby Dobblesworth » Sun Jul 06, 2008 10:48 pm UTC

I checked out some of the episodes of his on Friday night. My sides were splitting with laughter. I just love the way it's a Brit living in Oz venting his multiple spleens about games in an uncontrolled discharge of hate; absolutely hilarious. Crudely animated, but very effective. I have too much of a sieve-like memory to remember any of the good one-liners, but I know they're awesome. I liked that little whack he did at the Australian government where they're jumping on the USA-UK-led bandwagon against Manhunt games.

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Re: Zero Punctuation - (Yahtzee)

Postby GhostWolfe » Sun Jul 06, 2008 10:49 pm UTC

Actually, clusterfuck has been around for ages...

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Re: Zero Punctuation - (Yahtzee)

Postby BobMacDhonnchaidh » Sun Jul 06, 2008 11:06 pm UTC

GhostWolfe wrote:Actually, clusterfuck has been around for ages...

/angell


Well for introducing me to the word clusterfuck, the man is a hero.
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Re: Zero Punctuation - (Yahtzee)

Postby GhostWolfe » Sun Jul 06, 2008 11:18 pm UTC

That and "faffing about creed" :D
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