Stupidity in Games

Of the Tabletop, and other, lesser varieties.

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Stupidity in Games

Postby michaelandjimi » Fri Mar 28, 2008 8:54 am UTC

Well, I looked around and couldn't find this - I imagined that all threads on this topic would have stupid or incompetent in them, but I couldn't, so here goes:

What's the stupidest stuff that people or COMs have done in games, that you have seen?
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Re: Stupidity in Games

Postby Frank Verhage » Fri Mar 28, 2008 9:07 am UTC

Does the NPC-behaviour in Oblivion count? Jumping in front of you when you're swinging your claymore like a madman... Also, Star Wars: Battlefront 2. Ramming your X-Wing into the nearest wall kinda counts as stupid too :P

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Re: Stupidity in Games

Postby headprogrammingczar » Fri Mar 28, 2008 12:00 pm UTC

There was a great glitch in C&C Generals where halfway through the match, the AI units would start attacking eachother, and occasionally their controller's buildings. Needless to say, it ended games before they even began.
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Re: Stupidity in Games

Postby Kizyr » Fri Mar 28, 2008 4:41 pm UTC

There were a whole mess of AI stupidity examples in Civilization II that I remember. Some of my favorites were:
- Enemy civ would always sneak-attack on the last turn of a cease-fire
- Rival civs would demand tribute and declare war, even if you had nukes while they still had chariots
- Rival civs would sometimes build battleships and other expensive naval units, when the only thing next to them was a one-tile lake that didn't connect to the ocean
- If you were powerful, rival civs you've never met would sign pacts and alliances against you

I think a lot of these have been cleared up over the years. And in Alpha Centauri, and Civ4, there are a lot fewer of these sorts of bugs. KF
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Re: Stupidity in Games

Postby Masuri » Fri Mar 28, 2008 4:54 pm UTC

This is one that was a legend in my EverQuest guild.

During the fight where my guild was about to be the first in the game to kill Emperor Ssraeshza, my friend accidentally hit the wrong key and evacuated all of the wizards out of the Emperor's throne room. Woops! They managed to get back and make the Emperor kill, but that person is still teased about it 8 years later. ;)

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Re: Stupidity in Games

Postby schmiggen » Fri Mar 28, 2008 4:58 pm UTC

In starcraft, using tanks + bunkers at a chokepoint could get enemies (particularly melee units, but sometimes any land unit) to run back and forth in front of them as they got pummeled by tanksplash. This worked against COM players very often for me, and against human players when the player wasn't paying attention to what his units were doing after his initial "attack at this point across the map" command.
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Re: Stupidity in Games

Postby That_one_guy » Fri Mar 28, 2008 5:31 pm UTC

In Oblivion, a guard chased me to Dive Rock. He jumped off. I Lol'd.

Oh, and in RE4, I shot a guy with a mine thrower. He started walking off, and he exploded. While I was Filming! :D
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Re: Stupidity in Games

Postby Clumpy » Fri Mar 28, 2008 8:52 pm UTC

Civ II was pretty ridiculous. Peace with your enemies is pretty much useless, since they have no principle and always break the treaty. When you finally have a peace treaty, all they do is demand knowledge constantly and then declare war when you consistently refuse to give them free stuff.

If you have city walls and some decent veteran units you won't need peace treaties. Gimme a couple howitzers and I can level any city.

I used to play SimCopter pretty heavily in middle school. Sometimes the criminals that you're supposed to catch always get caught in the sides of buildings, making it impossible for you to catch them. Same deal with the guys you're supposed to save from burning buildings. This made the missions impossible to beat. So I just got in the Apache and gunned them down (somehow the ESRB missed the Apache cheat).

The leader of the Illuminati in Deus Ex blocked my path. Nothing that I could do would get him out of the way. Finally, I had to shoot him in the arm to get him to move out of the way.

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Re: Stupidity in Games

Postby Aradae » Fri Mar 28, 2008 8:55 pm UTC

Kizyr wrote:- Rival civs would sometimes build battleships and other expensive naval units, when the only thing next to them was a one-tile lake that didn't connect to the ocean



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Re: Stupidity in Games

Postby Dr. Canadian Ninja » Sat Mar 29, 2008 4:18 am UTC

The AI in Mass Effect has a tendency to jump out in front of the wrong end of the gun. See: Oblivion.
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Re: Stupidity in Games

Postby dyzzy » Sat Mar 29, 2008 10:47 pm UTC

In GTA San Andreas, driving your car too close to pedestrians caused them to dive into your car, a la Suicide Club.

It's usually harmless (for you!) and hilarious, but when the spectators at the bike race do it too, it gets frustrating.
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Re: Stupidity in Games

Postby Xaddak » Sat Mar 29, 2008 11:35 pm UTC

This kind of thing happens all the time in Dwarf Fortress:

My mason, holding a stone block, walks up to where I wanted him to place a floor. And falls asleep. This regularly happens - sleep, eating, drinking, going on break (which you'd think would be covered by eating, sleeping, and drinking, but noooo), etc.
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Re: Stupidity in Games

Postby Memo » Sat Mar 29, 2008 11:50 pm UTC

Kizyr wrote:- Rival civs would sometimes build battleships and other expensive naval units, when the only thing next to them was a one-tile lake that didn't connect to the ocean


It does have a predecent in real life though, just look at Bolivia. :P

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Re: Stupidity in Games

Postby Xanthir » Sun Mar 30, 2008 4:20 pm UTC

Clumpy wrote:Civ II was pretty ridiculous. Peace with your enemies is pretty much useless, since they have no principle and always break the treaty. When you finally have a peace treaty, all they do is demand knowledge constantly and then declare war when you consistently refuse to give them free stuff.

Gah, they also hold grudges FOREVER. I went to war with the Egyptians somewhere around the second millenium BC. Wiped out all their cities. Well, almost. Conquered everything I could find, and assumed that they must have had an island colony somewhere keeping them alive. Decided I'd find it later, and promptly forgot about them.

Every once in a while I'd try to contact them, just to see if we could be friends or something. Nope, they wanted eternal war, but I never saw hide nor hair of them. I'd trade maps with other civs just to see if any of them knew where the Egyptian hidden city was, but no luck.

Finally got the Apollo Project and mapped the world. Spotted their one city. IT WAS FIVE SQUARES AWAY FROM ONE OF MINE. I had mapped it before the Egyptian war, saw that it was crappy jungle and desert, and never went back. At some point the Egyptians put a city there. For whatever reason, they never made a single ship or military unit, or really anything at all. It was sometime in the late 1800s (woo Victorian Age space race!), and they still used chariots. It was only like size 4. Perhaps they never built aqueducts? It was like the AI for the city just shut off entirely.

What else could I do? I nuked it twice and then killed the survivors with a helicopter brigade, thus finally ending America's 5000 year war with the Egyptians.
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Re: Stupidity in Games

Postby no-genius » Sun Mar 30, 2008 8:41 pm UTC

Xanthir wrote:What else could I do? I nuked it twice and then killed the survivors with a helicopter brigade, thus finally ending America's 5000 year war with the Egyptians.

Heh. Typical yank! :P

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Re: Stupidity in Games

Postby Thadlerian » Mon Mar 31, 2008 2:46 pm UTC

Transport Tycoon should have an honorary mention here. The AI stupidity is astounding. When building railways, it will frequently build them in loops with bridges crossing themselves. Truly classic moments are AI rails reaching a medium-sized body of water. The line will zig-zag back and forth over the lake 4-6 times with the cheapest, weakest wooden bridge, so that the train (if the line is completed) will spend a year going between the stations.

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Re: Stupidity in Games

Postby segmentation fault » Mon Mar 31, 2008 4:10 pm UTC

the AI in Shandalar (MTG) was insanely incompetent. so many ways to exploit it.
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Re: Stupidity in Games

Postby Endless Mike » Mon Mar 31, 2008 5:02 pm UTC

My teammates in Mass Effect were better at getting my way than they were at shooting things.

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Re: Stupidity in Games

Postby lowbart » Mon Mar 31, 2008 5:03 pm UTC

dyzzy wrote:In GTA San Andreas, driving your car too close to pedestrians caused them to dive into your car, a la Suicide Club.

It's usually harmless (for you!) and hilarious, but when the spectators at the bike race do it too, it gets frustrating.


It's frustrating if you're trying not to damage your car, and someone jumps in front of you and the police notice.
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Re: Stupidity in Games

Postby Clumpy » Mon Mar 31, 2008 5:19 pm UTC

Prince of Persia's Fara could use some practice with the bow, or at least some judgement in determining whether to go for an enemy three feet away from my person. I might add that the enemy archers in The Mark of Kri frequently (i.e. nearly always) hit their own men while trying to take me out, leading to some truly awesome situations where you roll out of the way only to watch the guy in front of you take an arrow through the chest and fall.

I actually gave up on Knights of the Old Republic because of the terrible team A.I. A team that doesn't understand their own limitations often ends up programming a half-baked piece of software with a lot of promise. At least the Resident Evil 4 team understood their capabilities - Ashley stayed out of the way.

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Re: Stupidity in Games

Postby Dropzone » Mon Mar 31, 2008 7:25 pm UTC

dyzzy wrote:In GTA San Andreas, driving your car too close to pedestrians caused them to dive into your car, a la Suicide Club.
The worst thing is, they've been doing that since at least Vice City (possibly even as far back as GTA 3, although I can't remember for certain). You'd think that they'd have fixed it at some point. Similarly, the AI drivers are completely incompetent at getting out of your way when you're driving an emergency vehicle with the siren on - about half the time, they swerve into your path rather than out of it.
A couple more Vice City stupidities, with screenshots:
Spoiler:
Dumb AI and bulletproof glass.jpg
The AI seems to have no concept of line of sight - they'll try to shoot you even if there's something blocking the shot. In this case it's a (bulletproof) window, but they also try to shoot through solid walls and even entire buildings.
Dumb AI and bulletproof glass.jpg (162.67 KiB) Viewed 5376 times
Police in water 1.jpg
Get in a helicopter, get a police car to chase you, fly out over the sea, police car tries to follow. Splash. Interestingly, and vaguely related - if you stand with your feet underwater, you become invisible to the police. WTF?
Police in water 1.jpg (115.63 KiB) Viewed 5376 times

Thadlerian wrote:Transport Tycoon should have an honorary mention here. The AI stupidity is astounding. When building railways, it will frequently build them in loops with bridges crossing themselves.
Ah, yes, the TT AI really is hard to beat when it comes to stupidity... as seen in this screenshot (not mine, it came from this post on another forum) and these two pages.

Clumpy wrote:I actually gave up on Knights of the Old Republic because of the terrible team A.I.
Replace KOTOR with Fallout, and you have something that happened to me (okay, it wasn't just the AI that made me give up, but it was a big part of it). "Ooh look - there are five powerful enemies, all wielding sledgehammers, all surrounding a single hex. I'd better charge straight into that hex and then stand there doing nothing."

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Re: Stupidity in Games

Postby Torwegia » Mon Mar 31, 2008 11:55 pm UTC

i seem to remember a strange bug in one of the original C&C builds where sandbags stopped the computer completely or something that was amusing, and as far as players are concerned, just play any multiplayer game online(stupid useless TF2 teammates SHOOT THE MEDIC FIRST!!!!).

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Re: Stupidity in Games

Postby Yuri2356 » Tue Apr 01, 2008 12:25 am UTC

Torwegia wrote:i seem to remember a strange bug in one of the original C&C builds where sandbags stopped the computer completely or something that was amusing, and as far as players are concerned, just play any multiplayer game online(stupid useless TF2 teammates SHOOT THE MEDIC FIRST!!!!).

I remember that fondly.

Sandbag walls could be extended indefinately, and the AI would not attack them unless they were engaged in battle near them. So, in near every mission, you could build one long string of sand from your base to the enemy's door, bar them off, then have free reign of the map.

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Re: Stupidity in Games

Postby aion7 » Tue Apr 01, 2008 11:54 pm UTC

Torwegia wrote:(stupid useless TF2 teammates SHOOT THE MEDIC FIRST!!!!).
Or, DON'T UBER THE SPY! Or, IF EVERYONE'S A SNIPER, WE'LL LOSE!
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Re: Stupidity in Games

Postby Stief » Wed Apr 02, 2008 1:18 am UTC

Half life 2...the citizens are morons...

"hey it's Gordon, lets follow him"
"ok, you can follow me...just don't get in my w-"
"hey Gordon!"
etc.

¬_¬ I wish I could kill them...
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Re: Stupidity in Games

Postby Rodan » Wed Apr 02, 2008 1:47 am UTC

aion7 wrote:
Torwegia wrote:(stupid useless TF2 teammates SHOOT THE MEDIC FIRST!!!!).
Or, DON'T UBER THE SPY! Or, IF EVERYONE'S A SNIPER, WE'LL LOSE!

SPIES, SCOUTS, DON'T PUSH ME OFF THE TELEPORTER AND USE IT YOURSELF, DAMMIT!
IN FACT, DON'T USE THEM AT ALL!

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Re: Stupidity in Games

Postby michaelandjimi » Wed Apr 02, 2008 5:00 am UTC

Mmm. Smash Bros. is crazy stupid.

Enemies recovering in the wrong direction, basically knocking themselves out with items, forgetting you are around if you aren't on the stage...

The enemies in minesweeper are crap too. I mean, why put numbers around your own god damn mines?!!
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Re: Stupidity in Games

Postby muteKi » Wed Apr 02, 2008 6:58 am UTC

So I have had giant Fox on the easiest difficulty in classic decide to kill himself before I can even touch him on multiple occasions.
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Re: Stupidity in Games

Postby Hephesus » Wed Apr 02, 2008 3:19 pm UTC

I'm surprised the fallouts haven't come up yet.

In one, you could give the NPC's a plasma rifle and power armor, and they would ignore it in favor of leather jackets and knives. They would also shoot you in the back. With an Uzi.

In 2 they improve the armor situation, thoug sometimes they would refuse to use certain weapons. The shoot you in the back problem became worse. Specially with rocket launchers and miniguns. Some of my companions managed to wipe out the ENTIRE group in a turn.

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Re: Stupidity in Games

Postby Dropzone » Wed Apr 02, 2008 11:41 pm UTC

Hephesus wrote:I'm surprised the fallouts haven't come up yet.
Dropzone wrote:Replace KOTOR with Fallout, and you have something that happened to me [...]
Hmm.

Anyway, I managed to remember a few more stories of stupid AI. Some have associated pretty pictures, and so reside inside a spoiler tag.

Spoiler:
Fish, barrel, etc..jpg
Fish, barrel, etc..jpg (34.56 KiB) Viewed 4931 times
Rainbow Six 3: Raven Shield: I arrived at my sniping location, looked through my rifle's scope, saw an enemy standing in the open, and shot him. Another enemy apparently saw what happened, and decided to come out and investigate; I shot him too. Repeat five more times, and you have the situation seen in the screenshot. At no point did they realise that it might be a good idea to stay where they were and not keep allowing me to pick them off one by one at my leisure.

f117dive.jpg
f117dive.jpg (57.65 KiB) Viewed 4929 times
Lock On: Modern Air Combat: The AI of this game seems to be under the impression that the F-117 is a dive bomber...

tu160stupid.jpg
tu160stupid.jpg (81.27 KiB) Viewed 4929 times
...and that it's perfectly fine to launch a cruise missile as you approach a ridge while in terrain-following flight. Bomber pulls up to clear ridge; missile attempts to do same; missile is not manoeuvrable enough; missile hits crest of ridge and explodes; bomber was passing over crest of ridge at this point; dude you just shot yourself down with a cruise missile.

5drachmas.jpg
5drachmas.jpg (116.08 KiB) Viewed 4928 times
Master Of Olympus: Zeus: A perfectly normal request from an AI ally... except that 5 drachmas is only enough to build a single tile of road (normally they'll ask for hundreds or even thousands of drachmas). I guess it must have been a very small fire. (I've also had AI enemies ask me to invade myself, but I think that's more of an outright bug than just standard stupidity.)

Ghost Recon: Island Thunder: One mission of this game involves defending a polling station from enemy soldiers. So, there I am, in the middle of the station with my weapon pointing at the entrance door, when an arse appears from round the corner. I instinctively shoot it, then think to myself: "Wait a minute, was that an arse?" Then it happens again... and again. For some reason, all the enemies are advancing on the station in a crouched stance and walking backwards, so that they come around the corner of the door arse-first. Not the most effective method of attack, as it happens. Incidentally, Firefox doesn't believe that "arse" is a word. Even more incidentally, Firefox doesn't believe that "Firefox" is a word.

Jedi Outcast: One level contains several bridges, with large drops below and no handrails. The AI occasionally fails at the task of walking in a straight line and goes straight off the side of the bridge, complete with comical "AAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" sound effect.

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Re: Stupidity in Games

Postby Pandercolour » Thu Apr 03, 2008 12:52 am UTC

Playing CoD4 online, you'd think your teammates were North Koreans because they blindly charge some douche in a machine gun nest like the Great Leader himself is kicking you in the balls. I mean, why is it so hard to realize you need to rethink your current strategy of running into a woodchipper?

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Re: Stupidity in Games

Postby schmiggen » Thu Apr 03, 2008 1:29 am UTC

Pandercolour wrote:Playing CoD4 online, you'd think your teammates were North Koreans because they blindly charge some douche in a machine gun nest like the Great Leader himself is kicking you in the balls. I mean, why is it so hard to realize you need to rethink your current strategy of running into a woodchipper?


Heh... I've always taken that sort of thing as evidence that they hadn't thought through a strategy in the first place. It could be stupidity (in that they actually are aiming to win, but can't figure out how), but remember that it could be that they have vastly different goals in playing the game than you do :D. It's like button-mashing, except (minimally, yes :P) more involved. They see action, run toward it, and shoot at stuff, and that is why they play. Although... this could easily be correlated with a lower intelligence.
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Re: Stupidity in Games

Postby Mr. Beck » Thu Apr 03, 2008 9:07 pm UTC

In TF2, I saw a medic uber an enemy spy. Right after he reduisguised in front of said medic.
EDITED: for typo.
Last edited by Mr. Beck on Sat Apr 05, 2008 12:00 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Stupidity in Games

Postby Pandercolour » Fri Apr 04, 2008 1:26 am UTC

I was playing Rainbow Six Vegas

I was playing co-op T-hunt with three friends. The map was Calypso Casino. We were all loaded out with frag grenades, incendiary grenades, light machine guns and raging bulls. My friend turns on his Team America soundtrack.

The level begins with us blindly charging down some metal stairs from the helipad to the roof proper, to the tune of America! Fuck Yeah!. We're met by a hail of bullets, but miraculously pass through unscathed. In short order, we methodically clear out the roof of terrorist scum.

Knowing the next floor is a death trap, we devise a plan to perform a pincer attack on the terrorist on the lower floor. Two of us would rappel down the side of the building and breach in through the windows. The other two would go down a flight of stairs and get the terrorist's attention. The two on the rappels would mop up the distracted Ts.

Everything goes smoothly, until we actually put our plan into action. The two guys rappelling manage to take out three terrorists while still on the ropes, but since stair group wasn't down yet I told them to stay put. As soon as we made it down, the friend who came with me decided it would be a good idea to blast open the door leading into the death trap with explosives. All well and good, as it killed a few terrorists. But not all of them. I couldn't just let my friend run in there and die, so I followed, forgetting to tell the other guys to attack (we were in separate rooms, so they didn't know what was going on). Due to the Xbox's shuffle, America! Fuck Yeah! starts playing again.

here's where things went wrong

So we two charge into the room, machine guns blazing. One terrorist falls, then another. Three remain, hiding behind some pillars. My friend and I try to flank, but are caught by surprise as a group of terrorists (numbering five) rush up some stairs and flank us. We both desperately turn and try to kill the Ts coming up. We take down all but one, but a stray bullet - from my gun - manages to peg one of my team mates (still hanging on the rappels) right in the face and sends him falling to his doom.

Taking his cue, the other guy on the rappels breaches in, blasting off with his gun all the while. Unfortunately, he's not facing the terrorists. He's facing us, and the friend I was with is cut down in the crossfire. So, my remaining ally is on the other side of the room, separated from me by three terrorists. However, as if on cue, another group charges through the elevator stairwell from the basement, presenting a new problem as our flank is suddenly under fire from more than five terrorists.

My remaining friend panics and starts throwing his grenades - incendiaries first - wildly into the room. I do the same, and there's a hellish firestorm in the middle of the casino floor. But, through poor luck, one of my grenades bounces off the head of a charging terrorist - and into my own face, killing us both. My remaining ally is soon cut down, alone and unable to secure his flanks.

Right before we restart the round, one of the terrorists shouts "I thought you said they wouldn't attack!"

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Re: Stupidity in Games

Postby Sir_Elderberry » Fri Apr 04, 2008 3:06 am UTC

schmiggen wrote:
Pandercolour wrote:Playing CoD4 online, you'd think your teammates were North Koreans because they blindly charge some douche in a machine gun nest like the Great Leader himself is kicking you in the balls. I mean, why is it so hard to realize you need to rethink your current strategy of running into a woodchipper?


Heh... I've always taken that sort of thing as evidence that they hadn't thought through a strategy in the first place. It could be stupidity (in that they actually are aiming to win, but can't figure out how), but remember that it could be that they have vastly different goals in playing the game than you do :D. It's like button-mashing, except (minimally, yes :P) more involved. They see action, run toward it, and shoot at stuff, and that is why they play. Although... this could easily be correlated with a lower intelligence.


I think a lot of them assume that strategy is being worked out by someone else, and if they go find conflict and help the people on their side stay alive, they're doing their part.
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clayasaurus
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Re: Stupidity in Games

Postby clayasaurus » Fri Apr 04, 2008 3:35 am UTC

speed runs in halo when the enemies are just standing there untriggered and you hayabusa ninja leap from elite head to head
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wst
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Re: Stupidity in Games

Postby wst » Sat Apr 05, 2008 11:31 am UTC

On GTA:San Andreas, if you killed someone with a silenced pistol, people would run up and look at the body. Drivers would also wait behind an empty car, allowing you to silenced-pistol them one-by-one, without any of them causing a panic.

I got to Hitman with the silenced pistol soooo fast, I just stood in LV and went 'ft ft ft' into everyone. I shouldn't have used the no-cops cheat, to be fair >_>

Another time, with cops (but infinite ammo. I guess I was crap at the time), and a minigun, I had the Fibs after me. I stood on a high rocky bit between Catalinas and a little wooden bridge, next to a dirt road. The Fibs tried driving up the steep bit of the rock instead of getting out and walking, or even driving along the flat bit of rock to my side. Letting me blow up their cars and helicopters for about 10 minutes (irl). Strangely my level didn't go up at all while doing this, but the army wouldn't have had much luck either.

Also, some planes spawn in the air and crash into the ground randomly. R* found the glitch in testing, but they liked it so they left it in. It's pretty funny though :D
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grythyttan
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Re: Stupidity in Games

Postby grythyttan » Sat Apr 05, 2008 7:43 pm UTC

Dropzone wrote:Jedi Outcast: One level contains several bridges, with large drops below and no handrails. The AI occasionally fails at the task of walking in a straight line and goes straight off the side of the bridge, complete with comical "AAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" sound effect.


Ooh this is hilarious. even better is to spawn a bunch of bad-guys at one side of a bridge, a bunch of good-guys at the other and then watch them runa t eachother. About halfd of them will fall down before they manage to actually shoot a single one.

Or if you do it with jedi vs sith. Luke fights evil chick with lightsabers and stuff. then, for no reason in particular, he jumps really really fast to the side, falling into the pit of death.

It also sounds pretty creapy if you drop 20 or so lukes to theirs deaths.

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SecondTalon
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Re: Stupidity in Games

Postby SecondTalon » Sat Apr 05, 2008 8:39 pm UTC

I'd forgotten about that.. rounding a corner to see a few dark Jedi, flicking on my lightsaber (because I like being dramatic like that) and charging them.. only to see two of the three force-leap backwards into a pit.
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Kag
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Re: Stupidity in Games

Postby Kag » Sat Apr 05, 2008 10:13 pm UTC

I recall the AI for Yoshimitsu in one of the Soul Calibur games being supremely stupid.

On whatever difficulty I was playing, it would always perform the same combo, and finish it (provided I was out of the way) by sword-coptering right off the edge of the level. Sploooosh.
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