Obscene word games (f*cking jacket, ass-car)

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Obscene word games (f*cking jacket, ass-car)

Postby xkcd » Mon Apr 17, 2006 3:33 pm UTC

I've done two comics about word-pattern replacement, today's and http://xkcd.com/c37.html, which mentions this replacement:

That's a sweet-ass car -> That's a sweet ass-car

I do that pretty much every time I hear a phrase like that. Ditto for the 'fucking' one.

Anyone got any other mental-word-replacement they do?

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Postby Matt » Mon Apr 17, 2006 5:37 pm UTC

the story I always tell people is about the late night cookie delivery service on campus for all of your silly dormroom pajama party needs, with their menu that enthusiastically promotes their "Big-ass Brownies"

Who wants to eat some ass-brownies

You know what would be good for me and also for this forum? A thread where we can post the words on those modular-letter signs verbatum and then everybody can chip in naughty anagrams for the original poster to rearrange the letters to.
Hi. I'm from Massachusetts.

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Postby Jeff » Wed Apr 19, 2006 8:03 am UTC

I also do the sweet-ass car -> sweet ass-car thing as well. I think it gives me more enjoyment than it does my friends.

Other than that, just the normal things like listening to NPR and the person has speech that includes "...and he said that..." and I replace it with "Andy said that..." and also "...but he says that..." with "Buddy says that..." It's more fun that way.

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Postby xkcd » Wed Apr 19, 2006 1:23 pm UTC

Other than that, just the normal things like listening to NPR and the person has speech that includes "...and he said that..." and I replace it with "Andy said that..." and also "...but he says that..." with "Buddy says that..." It's more fun that way.


In one of Louis Sachar's books, there was a teacher named Melissa Turbone. For their entire career, there were some students who called her "Mr. Bone" -- because it sounds just like "Miss Turbone" -- and she never knew.

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Postby James » Fri Apr 28, 2006 11:09 am UTC

I always find it interesting in class discussions, and especially debates to just replace a certain noun with another - and here's the key - funnier noun. Because a class on the Civil Rights Movement in the 1960s is probably boring, but a class on the Civil Rights Shitstorm? Probably more entertaining.

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Postby Fluidfox » Fri Apr 28, 2006 12:21 pm UTC

I re-arrange common names and phrases into dirty anagrams... usually when I see it on a billboard. It's a bit obsessive.

Fuddruckers... Ruddfuckers

Discount IDoCunts

Etc..

I'd list a few of the more amusing ones... but I try to keep things PG-13 1/2 when I don't know who's reading it.

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Postby Frankeinstein » Fri Apr 28, 2006 3:29 pm UTC

Fluidfox wrote:I'd list a few of the more amusing ones... but I try to keep things PG-13 1/2 when I don't know who's reading it.


For that I shall henceforth call you The Protector of Innocence!

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Postby davean » Fri Apr 28, 2006 4:27 pm UTC

Frankeinstein wrote:
Fluidfox wrote:I'd list a few of the more amusing ones... but I try to keep things PG-13 1/2 when I don't know who's reading it.


For that I shall henceforth call you The Protector of Innocence!


It has been made official, Fluidfox is now a "Protector of the Null Set".

May the Null Set be forever safe and in need of others to think for it!

Thank you Frankeinstein.

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Postby aluinnsearlait » Mon May 01, 2006 5:19 am UTC

perhaps even more fun: slipping incredibly obscene things into conversation throug the cunning use of other languages :) the key is to use really obscure languages like czech or norse.

oh internet, you do make life more interesting.

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Postby Jeff » Thu May 04, 2006 9:09 pm UTC

For some reason I always swap "celebrate" with "cerebrate."

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Postby James » Fri May 05, 2006 12:03 am UTC

Maybe your brain's mother tounge is an East Asian lanaguage, and it had not yet mastered all the English consonants?
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Postby Frankeinstein » Fri May 05, 2006 5:14 am UTC

I say Woohoo!

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Postby James » Fri May 05, 2006 6:06 am UTC

Alternate theory: Too much Starcraft, Executor.
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Postby Fluidfox » Sun May 07, 2006 9:18 am UTC

I work a phone job... over 1200 calls a day. To entertain myself and stave off crushing boredom I occasionally slip complete non-sequitur phrases into the conversation in an agreeing tone of voice. Nobody has noticed. Example:

Me: What city and state please?

Caller: Baltimore, Maryland. Give me the Pizza Hut on Halstead

Me: very moist

Caller: Yeah

Me: Have a wonderful Night.

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Postby James » Sun May 07, 2006 6:28 pm UTC

Matt wrote:You know what would be good for me and also for this forum? A thread where we can post the words on those modular-letter signs verbatum and then everybody can chip in naughty anagrams for the original poster to rearrange the letters to.


I'm sad this idea never got picked up. This sounds like a good flash/php toy someone with such skills would be able to set up easily. Anyone?

(Also, does this remind anyone who remembers it of my Flippy project? I wish I could get that finished someday...)
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Postby davean » Tue May 09, 2006 12:48 pm UTC

James wrote:
Matt wrote:You know what would be good for me and also for this forum? A thread where we can post the words on those modular-letter signs verbatum and then everybody can chip in naughty anagrams for the original poster to rearrange the letters to.


I'm sad this idea never got picked up. This sounds like a good flash/php toy someone with such skills would be able to set up easily. Anyone?

(Also, does this remind anyone who remembers it of my Flippy project? I wish I could get that finished someday...)


Picked up? They can just go start a thread ... no "picking up" to be done.

If its a good one, it might even be made a sticky thread!

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Postby James » Tue May 09, 2006 1:57 pm UTC

davean wrote:
James wrote:
Matt wrote:You know what would be good for me and also for this forum? A thread where we can post the words on those modular-letter signs verbatum and then everybody can chip in naughty anagrams for the original poster to rearrange the letters to.


I'm sad this idea never got picked up. This sounds like a good flash/php toy someone with such skills would be able to set up easily. Anyone?

(Also, does this remind anyone who remembers it of my Flippy project? I wish I could get that finished someday...)


Picked up? They can just go start a thread ... no "picking up" to be done.

If its a good one, it might even be made a sticky thread!


Well, yeah, we could just do it in a thread. But I kinda want a little app that would simulate a marquee, because it would be fun.

Just like 3 layers of embedded quotation.
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Postby Shoofle » Tue May 09, 2006 3:00 pm UTC

What is this "Flippy?"
It souds like a nintendo codename for a console piece.

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Postby James » Tue May 09, 2006 6:26 pm UTC

You know those announcement boards they used to have in train stations where they would have a set of all possible characters on a set of rings and when they needed to change the message, it would mechanically flip through the letters until it came to the right one and the message would slowly, piece-by-piece appear? Flippy was a flash-based imitation, and the theory was to link it up with some perl script so you could send messages to people and so forth.
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Postby RealGrouchy » Thu May 18, 2006 7:29 am UTC

Oh, I've got loads of them. Many of which I posted to my blog.

Shit. I had one on my mind but got distracted...

Oh, yeah. Kinda along the lines of what FluidFox said (which is hilarious!):

A while back, every now and then when my roommate was on the phone while I was reading a book, he'd say "hold on a second", and pass me the phone. I would then read from the book. Only, I would read the words down, not accross. But because I'm such a p**sy, I'd just hang up before I could hear the response. Actually, this one's documented on my blog, too. Hm.

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Postby Fluidfox » Thu May 25, 2006 4:10 pm UTC

That reminds me quite a bit of a game I'd play with one of my english teachers during high school. Every paper I wrote had seemingly random letters set in a slightly larger (almost not enough to notice) type setting. If you were to circle the letters and set them apart, they made lewd little poems or the occasional haiku.


one of my favorite...



Sitting at your desk

Pent-up lust consumes your loins

I've seen you looking


I noticed that after the first few, all the papers had the 'special' letters marked with the ever so faint dot of a pencil mark under them where she'd touched to keep track.

The trick was to choose the letters in such a way that there were logical breaks. One line per page, for example.

She always gave me the highest grade :evil:

maybe it really is a null set......

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Postby Scott » Fri May 26, 2006 5:56 am UTC

I don't know if this is an unconcious word game or a brain defect, but sometimes I hear all the vowels in words as schwas (the grammatical term for a breath of air between consonants that is not a clearly-articulated vowel). Sometimes I don't hear them at all.

So someone will say something perfectly ordinary to me, like "Would you please pass me that?" And what I hear is "Wd uh pluzh pzz muh tht." It's very strange.

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Postby Scott » Fri May 26, 2006 5:58 am UTC

But oh, yes, I forgot the actual game part, which is to see how long a phrase you can think of that is unambiguous with its vowel sounds removed.

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Re: Obscene word games (f*cking jacket, ass-car)

Postby smilingman » Mon May 29, 2006 6:43 am UTC

xkcd wrote:That's a sweet-ass car -> That's a sweet ass-car

I actually saw the opposite once. I was playing a game of Nightfire (or some other James Bond game) and one of my friends took the name "assclown". Whenever he died, we would all chuckle at what looked like the message "Defeated-ass Clown".

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Postby Democritus the Minor » Fri Jun 09, 2006 4:50 am UTC

Fluidfox wrote:I work a phone job... over 1200 calls a day. To entertain myself and stave off crushing boredom I occasionally slip complete non-sequitur phrases into the conversation in an agreeing tone of voice. Nobody has noticed. Example:

Me: What city and state please?

Caller: Baltimore, Maryland. Give me the Pizza Hut on Halstead

Me: very moist

Caller: Yeah

Me: Have a wonderful Night.


excellent. i'm definitely sympathetic to your plight, although i don't have to suffer such terse conversations. i work phone tech support, and after long hours, i begin to entertain non-customer-friendly thoughts, including the want of "phone spiders," or trying unsuccessfully to figure out how to punch someone through the internet... "go to this site, click that link..." "OW!"
the others at my call center have come up with some goals when talking to certain people:

someone from boston: get them to say "wicked retaaded."

canadians: the classic, but overused "what's this all aboot?"

suggestions?

and by the way, love the comic, especially that horrible pun involving kepler.

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Postby Tropylium » Tue Jul 25, 2006 7:02 pm UTC

Scott wrote:I don't know if this is an unconcious word game or a brain defect, but sometimes I hear all the vowels in words as schwas (the grammatical term for a breath of air between consonants that is not a clearly-articulated vowel). Sometimes I don't hear them at all.

So someone will say something perfectly ordinary to me, like "Would you please pass me that?" And what I hear is "Wd uh pluzh pzz muh tht." It's very strange.


Thread necromantic nitpick: No, that's not schwa. A schwa can either mean the usually unstressed vowel sound like in "about", or an epenthetic vowel - ie. a vowel that is inserted to breik up difficult consonant clusters, as in "nucular". It can, but doesn't need to be, also a schwa as according to the first definition. (This second meaning can also be called a shvarabhakti.)

I'm not shur' what the phenomenon you describe ought to be called. Maybe a "null vowel". Or perhaps just "unvoiced schwa".

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Not obscene, but...

Postby Jerf » Tue Jul 25, 2006 9:14 pm UTC

Not obscene, but one substitution I routinely perform is "free" -> "paid for".

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Postby RealGrouchy » Thu Aug 17, 2006 1:36 am UTC

Democritus the Minor wrote:
canadians: the classic, but overused "what's this all aboot?"



Yeah, the thing with that is an US English speaker will pronounce the "ou" in "about" with the tongue at the bottom of the mounth; a Canadian will pronounce it with the tongue slightly higher in the mouth. Since pronouncing "aboot" requires the tongue to be high in the mouth, US speakers only detect that it's higher in the mouth than they are used to. Canadian speakers tend to not notice the difference when US speakers say it.

However, to turn the tables, people in the US pronounce "sorry" as "sari" (like the [East] Indian dress). The trick in finding them out, though, is getting them to say it! :P

Both of these were from a CBC special by Mark Starowicz called "Talking Canadian" (I forget the name of the miniseries of which it was an episode).

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Postby Westacular » Thu Aug 17, 2006 3:22 pm UTC

Whenever someone mentions the "aboot" thing I get really annoyed, because the American take on it is such a comical exagerration and I really can't hear it in my everyday Canadian life.

But after reading and listening to the clips on this page about "Canadian rising" (the linguistic phenomenon that encompasses the "aboot" thing), I realize that I can't hear the difference because I totally do that all the time. My English most definitely includes Canadian Rising.

So, yeah, Canadian Rising involves raising the "ou" from low to mid, and US English speakers tend to hear that mid as a high (i.e., "oo")

At the bottom of that page there's an audio clip highlighting another phenomenon with the message "for big fun, compare my vowels in the following sentence to your own vowels and those of your friends." I can't see the big fun, because me and my friends would pronounce it the same way!

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Postby wisnij » Thu Aug 17, 2006 4:45 pm UTC

Fluidfox wrote:I work a phone job... over 1200 calls a day. To entertain myself and stave off crushing boredom I occasionally slip complete non-sequitur phrases into the conversation in an agreeing tone of voice. Nobody has noticed. Example:

Me: What city and state please?

Caller: Baltimore, Maryland. Give me the Pizza Hut on Halstead

Me: very moist

Caller: Yeah

Me: Have a wonderful Night.

You, sir, are a true classhole. And my hat is off to you.
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Postby Yummy Tree Sap » Thu Aug 17, 2006 5:36 pm UTC

I do the "fucking jacket" and "(adjective)-ass (noun) hyphen switch" all of the time. I thought I was the only one to do such a thing. This is somewhat of a common theme for me throughout this comic.

As far as original word games... it's not obscene, but my friend and I once substituted all Bs in words to Ps, and vice versa. So, for example, bumblebees becomes "pumplepees," and you don't drink a nice can of Dr. Pepper, but instead, a can of "Dr. Bebber."

It's also amusing to do with "Ns and Ms," though any -ing word becomes hard to say. It's a good way to pass time when one is deathly bored.

I know that I do many other odd word games in my mind, but I cannot think of any more at the moment.

SustainablyDeveloped

Perhaps too obscene, but here we go anyway

Postby SustainablyDeveloped » Thu Aug 17, 2006 6:11 pm UTC

My friends and I make it through the brain stomping known as the oscars by playing one of these word games. The idea is that you can replace one word in a movie title with "fist" or "fisting". The most obscene perturbation wins.

Examples:

Fight club -> Fist club (easy)
Good will hunting -> Good will fisting (okay) or Fist will hunting (ouch)


Reading this now, I feel like a bad person. I'm not sure I look for this level of analysis from a forum post about a webcomic...

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Postby Sandalphon » Thu Aug 17, 2006 9:27 pm UTC

People I hang out with do the "fucking" switch so often, I get tired of the joke and just kind of yearn for the days when I could freely use the word "fucking" without it being followed up with a sarcastic remark about it being for sex or whatever. I really like the word "fuck," personally. It's a great word, and the "fucking" switch isn't that great a joke.

I enjoy playing with platitudes that people use constantly. While briefly working retail, I discovered there were a number of common phrases people expect to hear to such a degree that they won't notice deviations. For instance, I nearly always said, "How can I help you yesterday?" and, "Can I help you find something tomorrow?" I also usually said, "Have a nice life," but that's vaguely acceptable, although I still think it sounds like a threat. I also intentionally, on a daily basis, mismatch answers to platitudes, just because I can. "What's up?" "Fine." or "How's it going?" "Nothing much." It's all about tone and delivery, people don't pay attention to what you're saying half the time.

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Postby Tropylium » Fri Aug 18, 2006 4:10 pm UTC

Westacular wrote:Whenever someone mentions the "aboot" thing I get really annoyed, because the American take on it is such a comical exagerration and I really can't hear it in my everyday Canadian life.

But after reading and listening to the clips on this page about "Canadian rising" (the linguistic phenomenon that encompasses the "aboot" thing), I realize that I can't hear the difference because I totally do that all the time. My English most definitely includes Canadian Rising.

Wow, I so can't hear the height difference here. Must be a lo-mid schwa [ɜ] rather than proper [ə] I gess. I do hear a length difference, however.

I wonder if the British would interpret it as "aboat"…



BTW, my mom (a high school physics teacher) used to do the "fucking" switch to teach manners to children who swear.

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Postby Yummy Tree Sap » Fri Aug 18, 2006 6:42 pm UTC

That clip is far more subtle than a lot of times I've heard it. I live near Southern Ontario, but in the U.S., so I've heard many a Canadian in my life.
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Postby Westacular » Fri Aug 18, 2006 9:25 pm UTC

Tropylium wrote:Wow, I so can't hear the height difference here. Must be a lo-mid schwa [ɜ] rather than proper [ə] I gess. I do hear a length difference, however.

I wonder if the British would interpret it as "aboat"…


My linguistics knowledge is pretty limited, but according to Wikipedia your assessment is quite accurate!

I can hear the length difference and I can almost-sort-of-hear the vowel difference when I focus on it.

One linguistic thing that annoys me is the intrusive/linking R that occurs in some English accents. The whole "idear" instead of "idea" thing.

Last summer I was in Britain and encountered a couple of older men, who asked me where I'm from. When I said "Canada", they seemed to find my pronounciation amusing, and mimicked it with "Canadaar", which confounded me. I couldn't see what he was trying to point out. "What the fuck?" I thought "I didn't pronounce any R, and you most certainly did and can't tell the difference and you're making fun of MY accent??" Instead my brother and I just smiled and tried to politely ignore them.

Doing a bit of research just now, I think they heard my schwa for the last vowel in Canada where they expected something else -- maybe [ɑ] -- and then either misheard my schwa as being rhotacized or very heavily rhotacized the schwa in their pronounciation without even realizing it.

Good thing they never asked me to say "Toronto".
Last edited by Westacular on Sat Aug 19, 2006 3:12 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby DaveFP » Fri Aug 18, 2006 9:53 pm UTC

As a British person with a Canadian girlfriend, I have a vast experience of her telling me that I pronounce 'Canada', 'Cana-derr'. Also, I'm told that I say 'Americ-err'.

As to the 'Aboot' thing, I must say that I don't hear it very often. I'd say it's mainly an exagerated stereotype.
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Postby Westacular » Sat Aug 19, 2006 3:29 am UTC

I mean no insult!

I just find it really weird that you can't hear the R. It seems like a pretty big thing for an English speaker not to notice. Weird vowels I can understand, but R is a consonant. That's a pretty big thing to miss!

(Yes, I know, linguistically R does so many funny things to vowels that it's hardly a typical consonant.)

Today's research has taught me that this r / no-r (rhotic vs non-rhotic accents) is pretty much the biggest dividing line among the various accents of English.


You know what would be really cool? A computerized accent identification tool. You read a bunch of text into a microphone, and it checks for all sorts of known phenomena, and outputs what your accent is and what particular traits you exhibit in your pronounciation.

For instance: do I exhibit the Canadian Shift? I really don't know, but I'd like to!

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Postby Tropylium » Sat Aug 19, 2006 10:16 pm UTC

Westacular wrote:I just find it really weird that you can't hear the R. It seems like a pretty big thing for an English speaker not to notice. Weird vowels I can understand, but R is a consonant. That's a pretty big thing to miss!

You're dealing with acoostics here, not phonemics. English r, like all semivowels, is essentially a vowel sound used as a consonant.

For instance: do I exhibit the Canadian Shift? I really don't know, but I'd like to!


You could try comparing "hat" and "hot" in front of a mirror. If you notisce any lip rounding going on with "hot", you got it. (You might also be British in that case, but you'd notice that from "caught" and "cot" not rhyming.)

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Postby Verysillyman » Sun Aug 20, 2006 9:02 am UTC

I do the fucking switch all the time, even to myself. I tell people "I hate fucking buses." Then correct myself ad say "I don't like riding them either."

As to changing movie titles to have 'fist' in them, my little brother and I do the same thing only we use 'pants'.
ie 'Pants Club' or 'Good Pants Hunting' or 'Pants at Tiffany's'.


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