[SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby KestrelLowing » Mon Jun 06, 2011 6:13 pm UTC

Well, technically the equivalent is 'gal' but *shudder*.

One thing I did want to point out though was that many models are actually girls. There are tons that are below 18. (I guess I figure if you're below 18, you're still a girl as you're not technically an adult yet) So many of them actually are girls. Really, the oldest you get are still in that awkward "not really a woman, but not a girl" stage. My guess is that's partially why most models are called girls.

Of course it's also slightly demeaning. I'm not saying it's necessarily right, but I can see where it comes from.

But I really do dislike the 'real women' label - especially when people take that to mean plus sized. (Another pet peeve - curvy does not mean fat. It means curvy. You can be curvy and skinny and you can be curvy and fat, but everything designed for 'curvy women' is nearly always in the plus sized section.) Skinny and fat people are both 'real women'. As far as I know they aren't imaginary. Once again, I imagine this slightly comes from the fact that women typically don't have the same bodies as teenagers (who are a huge portion of models, AFAIK) and saying that you're no longer a teenager means you're a 'real woman'.

Slightly on a tangent, I always hate the things that show 'real women' because guess what? They're still all perfectly proportioned! They all have the hourglass shape, just varying levels of weight, height, muscle definition, and boob size. I want to see someone design something that actually looks good on a not-perfectly-proportioned woman! (Sorry, I wear 34A/B bras (small shirts) and size 13 pants (large, if not XL pants) - this is something that gets on my nerves)

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Enuja » Mon Jun 06, 2011 6:14 pm UTC

Somewhat ninja'd here: I agree that gal is the paired term for guy, but "gal" is both less often used than "guy," and much more sexualized. A pre-teen isn't a "gal," and an elderly woman isn't either. So while it is the linguistic pair to "guy," it doesn't fulfill the same needs.



My problem with gender in Project Runway that ALL of the fashion is for women, and none for men.

I wish fashion in general was oriented towards guys as much as it is towards gals. Most of the time I like to wear practical, not fashionable, clothing, but I'm really into art and I do like dressing up sometimes. It just always feels like I'm following a social convention I don't like when I dress up. I really like collared shirts, in part because of their unisex use (and in part because I don't like burning my neck in sun). I also really like skirts, both on men and on women, but when I'm wearing a skirt (except in the pictures from my wedding, where my male spouse is wearing a skirt), people who are looking at me can't tell I don't think skirts should be gendered.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby suffer-cait » Mon Jun 06, 2011 6:22 pm UTC

Enuja wrote:My problem with gender in Project Runway that ALL of the fashion is for women, and none for men.
well they sometimes make for men, but that's the challenge, because designing for men is hard
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby KestrelLowing » Mon Jun 06, 2011 6:45 pm UTC

suffer-cait wrote:
Enuja wrote:My problem with gender in Project Runway that ALL of the fashion is for women, and none for men.
well they sometimes make for men, but that's the challenge, because designing for men is hard


Yeah, guys are usually limited to shirt, tie, jacket, pants. There's not tons you can do with that. Women are typically allowed to be a bit more flashy.

Although, I must admit, I'm kind of jealous with men's dress wardrobe. It's all so modular. For example, say you're going for a job interview. Obviously the default for guys is a suit. Ok, but what if it's more casual than that? While it's always better to be better dressed on an interview, you don't want to be in a suit when everyone across the table is in jeans and polos.

For guys it's extraordinarily easy - wear the suit. Take a look at what the receptionist is wearing. Are you too formal? Take off tie - boom! corporate casual (I take that to mean what the upper level people wear in a business casual environment). Still too formal, when you get in the interview room? Take off jacket - boom! business casual. This works great for nearly every formal occasion too - not to mention if there is a dress code, it usually tells guys exactly what to wear (black tie, etc). Guys really only need one or two suits with 4-5 dress shirts to be set for everything.

It's not quite as easily modular for girls unless you really plan it out. Also, it seems to be a horrible sin to wear a dress again to a formal event. I would anyway (I actually don't own any dresses or skirts and I never go to formal events), but that's the general thought.

Also, where's the fashion for not quite so feminine girls? While I'm not (I apologize if I'm not using the right words here - please inform me what's preferred) a dyke or butch, I'm certainly not the girly-girl lacy pink person either.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Virtual_Aardvark » Mon Jun 06, 2011 7:00 pm UTC

So much everything that's been said.

I've been looking for ages for a sexy, NOT-business, three piece suit. I want to wear something formal that I feel is sexy. Dresses are nice but they make me feel pretty or cute, not powerful or classy or sharp. I've pretty much realized that I'm going to have to buy the pieces from different departments and stores and just hope that I can match pinstripe to pinstripe. Because nobody designs men's fashion in a way that works for women. And nobody really designs any fashion for my body type so I'm not sure why I bother anyways.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby crowey » Mon Jun 06, 2011 7:21 pm UTC

I agree with all of the above moans about women's fashion and the curvy/real thing pisses me right off too.

You won't be able to match pinstripes if you're buying from different brands/designers. If you want to look sharp don't be tempted to think they look close enough, they almost certainly won't. I also want a good sharp skirt-suit, but all the ones I've tried look really frumpy on me.
Depending on your budget you might be able to find a decent tailor/dressmaker who can do a one-off made to measure job?

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Enuja » Mon Jun 06, 2011 7:22 pm UTC

If you want really fantastic, flattering clothing, get it made for you. Or buy it off the rack and have it tailored to fit. If you see a movie with a movie star who looks fantastic in a T-shirt, that's probably in large part because the T-shirt has been altered to fit the movie star. I'm quite certain that a tailor will be able to make, or alter a men's suit, to fit you.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Cathy » Mon Jun 06, 2011 9:29 pm UTC

I recently got some really nice dress pants from a friend they were slightly too big for. I think they'd be great for an upcoming interview (Oh my gosh a programming job for real! Hire me please!) but I don't have a jacket to go with them or anything. What does a 20-year old wear to a relatively formal interview?

Also, I wear size zero to four depending on the brand, and it seems rather hard to find professional-looking skirts in the smaller sizes. Feels like they're "too short junior's teenager slutty". And the ones that *are* nice are so expensive! Any store ideas?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby katethegreat » Mon Jun 06, 2011 10:05 pm UTC

KestrelLowing wrote:(Another pet peeve - curvy does not mean fat. It means curvy. You can be curvy and skinny and you can be curvy and fat, but everything designed for 'curvy women' is nearly always in the plus sized section.)


The "curvy" title is so patronizing. In Seventeen magazine, when they have those "dress to suit your figure" kinda things, "Curvy all over" is this euphemism for FAT. All the other models are pretty skinny, even if she has a "curvy butt".
What really bugs me is that they play all this lip service to body acceptance, but then they celebrate when their plus-sized model (who models for "curvy all over" page I'm sure) loses 100 pounds.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby PictureSarah » Mon Jun 06, 2011 10:29 pm UTC

I've had decent luck with Kohl's...You don't have to wear a jacket or anything on top, as long as you have a nice-ish blouse. A button-down dress shirt is a good option.
http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.d ... =751129052 and only $15!

If you're like me, and it can be hard to find button-down shirts that accommodate boobs while still fitting, things without buttons can work as well. I hate to say it, but synthetic fabrics tend to be dressier...cotton jersey looks especially casual, even if it's a more formal style of shirt.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Cathy » Tue Jun 07, 2011 12:32 am UTC

I really like button down shirts but if it fits around the waist the buttons strain, so I know what you mean. It's hard to find nice shirts that I can tuck in without (seemingly) billows of cloth. Thanks for the link -- that does look nice. Yeah, I tend not to like jersey material for anything other than casual. Maybe my Kohl's just stinks, haha. They never have things in my size.

Echoing a topic we all commented on like 20 pages ago, I didn't fit in anything when I was a size 16, and I still don't fit into anything as a size 2. At department stores, that is. Everything at used clothing shops fit me. Lol?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Beardhammer » Tue Jun 07, 2011 6:07 am UTC

Cathy wrote:I really like button down shirts but if it fits around the waist the buttons strain, so I know what you mean. It's hard to find nice shirts that I can tuck in without (seemingly) billows of cloth. Thanks for the link -- that does look nice. Yeah, I tend not to like jersey material for anything other than casual. Maybe my Kohl's just stinks, haha. They never have things in my size.

Echoing a topic we all commented on like 20 pages ago, I didn't fit in anything when I was a size 16, and I still don't fit into anything as a size 2. At department stores, that is. Everything at used clothing shops fit me. Lol?


Sounds like me. It might be why I hate shopping.

Used clothing stores might work simply because the clothes have been worn in somewhat. I would never wash a single piece of clothing I own if I could somehow magically make them clean and fresh without ruining the "worn in" feel they get after I've worn them for a few hours. A pair of jeans that fits great after 3 hours feels like it's going to crush my damn aorta through my pelvis when it's fresh out of the dryer :-/

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby existential_elevator » Tue Jun 07, 2011 7:29 am UTC

I have a three-piece suit for interviews. Having a waistcoat neatly covers the fact that shirts are always a little baggy round the waist and that trousers are always a little tight on the hips. But then - I'm known for horribly overdressing in these situations. Hell, I have a tweed skirt powersuit that looks like something Thatcher would wear for when I mean srs bsnss.

I think what you wear to an interview though will largely depend on what kind of job you're going for. I've been in awkward interviews before in my suit while the interview panel is in jeans and a t-shirt. Really, it's best to wear something you'll feel is comfortable, that also shows your personality faithfully, since you are likely to be judged on it.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Tue Jun 07, 2011 5:12 pm UTC

On subject of clothes...I'm stilllll looking for swimsuit that is a) cute/I like b) fits me c) not too reveiling for my taste (so many tankinis even are cut SO LOW...feels like mah boobs will pop out!) d) not so pricey I may as well forget paying rent for the month >_< (ok exageration...but it seems anything that would fit me is at least $60. And then I look and that's *just* for the top, bottoms are another $40...or such. What?)

But anyway, I do really like the dresses and such here:
http://www.bravissimo.com/pepperberry (I love the slogan "clothes designed with boobs in mind!")
and then at just the bravissimo site is bras/pj's/swimwear

Sadly a UK company, so prices in dollars are uberhigh :( but though I'd share as it seems to be a great place to find things no matter what shape you are if you have issues with boobs fitting into things right :)
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Angua » Tue Jun 07, 2011 5:16 pm UTC

Sungura wrote:On subject of clothes...I'm stilllll looking for swimsuit that is a) cute/I like b) fits me c) not too reveiling for my taste (so many tankinis even are cut SO LOW...feels like mah boobs will pop out!) d) not so pricey I may as well forget paying rent for the month >_< (ok exageration...but it seems anything that would fit me is at least $60. And then I look and that's *just* for the top, bottoms are another $40...or such. What?)

But anyway, I do really like the dresses and such here:
http://www.bravissimo.com/pepperberry (I love the slogan "clothes designed with boobs in mind!")
and then at just the bravissimo site is bras/pj's/swimwear

Sadly a UK company, so prices in dollars are uberhigh :( but though I'd share as it seems to be a great place to find things no matter what shape you are if you have issues with boobs fitting into things right :)
This is sort of funny - there is a bravissimo in oxford that I walk past and think of you (because they have a sign saying they have large sizes (up to k I think), and the stuff looks really nice) - but I thought as it was a UK company and you couldn't try it on that there wouldn't be much point in mentioning it!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Hofstadter'sLaw » Tue Jun 07, 2011 5:25 pm UTC

Does anyone have any DIY experience in fading old acne scars? My face is covered in them, and I'd like to make them less noticable. I've been googling it, but it seems like most of the stuff that supposedly works well is uber expensive and I'd rather not spend $50 on something that may not work before trying alternatives.

I tried some sort of acid peel every week for a month right before winter started, but then stopped because my skin gets dry and peely in the winter from the cold/wind without me attacking it with acid. I figured I'd go back to that again. Does anyone know of a good non-smelly, non-greasy lotion that would promote fast healing to use after using the acid?

Or any other suggestions? =/

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby suffer-cait » Tue Jun 07, 2011 6:21 pm UTC

Sungura wrote:On subject of clothes...I'm stilllll looking for swimsuit that is a) cute/I like b) fits me c) not too reveiling for my taste (so many tankinis even are cut SO LOW...feels like mah boobs will pop out!) d) not so pricey I may as well forget paying rent for the month >_< (ok exageration...but it seems anything that would fit me is at least $60. And then I look and that's *just* for the top, bottoms are another $40...or such. What?)

But anyway, I do really like the dresses and such here:
http://www.bravissimo.com/pepperberry (I love the slogan "clothes designed with boobs in mind!")
and then at just the bravissimo site is bras/pj's/swimwear

Sadly a UK company, so prices in dollars are uberhigh :( but though I'd share as it seems to be a great place to find things no matter what shape you are if you have issues with boobs fitting into things right :)
so, this may be because i live in hawaii, but have you tried looking for a bathing suit outlet store? locomotion has one near me and i can get a whole suit for 60$ max. and the awesome thing about loco motion is that they have a set range of patterns and fabrics for the season and then they make every pattern with every fabric so you can mix and match the pieces to get a set that covers/doesn't cover everything you want.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby KestrelLowing » Tue Jun 07, 2011 7:19 pm UTC

Hofstader'sLaw wrote:Does anyone have any DIY experience in fading old acne scars? My face is covered in them, and I'd like to make them less noticable. I've been googling it, but it seems like most of the stuff that supposedly works well is uber expensive and I'd rather not spend $50 on something that may not work before trying alternatives.

I tried some sort of acid peel every week for a month right before winter started, but then stopped because my skin gets dry and peely in the winter from the cold/wind without me attacking it with acid. I figured I'd go back to that again. Does anyone know of a good non-smelly, non-greasy lotion that would promote fast healing to use after using the acid?

Or any other suggestions? =/


Well, my favorite lotion for the face is Aveeno face lotion - although it's kind of pricey (more expensive than most drug store lotions, less expensive than the ones you get from makeup companies, etc.). I don't know how it would work after an acid peel, but I get very dry skin and very oily skin on my face, but aveeno seems to work both ways.

Sadly I don't have any ideas for fading acne scars. I've still got enough acne right now (grrrr.... 21 and I still get freaking acne!) that I'm not really sure if I've scarred, or if it's just current acne. But I'm hoping (knock on wood) that my magic scar healing body will take care of them (I only have one visible scar not from surgery - and that one's from burning half my thumb!)

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Aaeriele » Tue Jun 07, 2011 7:33 pm UTC

KestrelLowing wrote:Well, my favorite lotion for the face is Aveeno face lotion - although it's kind of pricey (more expensive than most drug store lotions, less expensive than the ones you get from makeup companies, etc.).

I second Aveeno making really nice lotion.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Hofstadter'sLaw » Tue Jun 07, 2011 7:44 pm UTC

KestrelLowing wrote:Well, my favorite lotion for the face is Aveeno face lotion - although it's kind of pricey (more expensive than most drug store lotions, less expensive than the ones you get from makeup companies, etc.). I don't know how it would work after an acid peel, but I get very dry skin and very oily skin on my face, but aveeno seems to work both ways.

Sadly I don't have any ideas for fading acne scars. I've still got enough acne right now (grrrr.... 21 and I still get freaking acne!) that I'm not really sure if I've scarred, or if it's just current acne. But I'm hoping (knock on wood) that my magic scar healing body will take care of them (I only have one visible scar not from surgery - and that one's from burning half my thumb!)


I really don't mind spending a little extra money on something if the quality's great. It's just that I've had acne since I was like 11, and spent a lot of money on various acne treatments that didn't work at all, so I'd rather start out with more reasonably priced things if possible since I haven't seen any proof that the expensive products work any better.

I'm 22. I have oily skin and still get acne too. I've been using the St. Ives Apricot Scrub with Salicylic Acid for Oily/Acne Prone Skin every morning for about three months now, and I've gone from having clusters of pimps on my face to just several lone pimples. The scrub is only $3 or $4 and is easy to get if that's something you haven't tried yet.

Thanks for the lotion suggestion (Aaeriele too). I shall take Aveeno into consideration. =] I think I've seen commercials for it, but I've never used it before.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Aaeriele » Tue Jun 07, 2011 8:48 pm UTC

I wound up going through the whole doxycycline rigamarole when I was in high school... it worked, at the cost of extremely annoying dry skin for the entire period (and a little bit that decided to stick around).
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby KestrelLowing » Tue Jun 07, 2011 9:11 pm UTC

Yup, I've been through just about everything for acne. Right now, knock on wood, I've got it pretty decently controlled. I've still got blotchy skin, and I'll occasionally get pimples, but nothing like it used to be.

I went through the majority of what was available over the counter at the time in 5th and 6th grade (including proactiv) - none of it really worked. My acne started getting painful and I went to the dermatologist.

I've since gone thru doxycycline (oral), another oral medication that made me really sick, benzoyl peroxide, salicylic acid, clindamycin (duac), adapalene (differin), tazarotene(tazorac), and at least one more I can't remember the name of - all in different concentrations, all in different forms, trying combinations, etc. (My dermatologist told me I had some of the most resistant acne she'd seen - not the most severe, but some of the most resistant!)

I think my skin has finally calmed down a little though and aveeno face wash (I alternate between the 'clear complexion' and the 'ultra calming' one depending on how dry or oily my skin is) and lotion seems to be doing ok for now. I use all my old tubes of acne cream as spot treatment now.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Hofstadter'sLaw » Tue Jun 07, 2011 9:25 pm UTC

Aaeriele, I looked up the doxycycline treatment. I can't take it though. Apparently, "Minerals and vitamins such as...calcium...counteract the drug’s efficacy because they prevent the body from absorbing the drug." I have to take calcium pills everyday because I have ostiopenia (possibly osteoporosis by now, so definately not going off them for the sake of acne meds).

I've used some of the same treatments as you, KestrelLowing. They all just made my acne get a lot worse for a few months, then go back to the pre-treatment state, except dry and peely. My dermotologist said I would have trouble getting rid of my acne because of the medications I've been on over the years (some that specifically have acne as side effects, and lots of immunosuppresents). I don't think I can actually have a "clear" complexion. >_<

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Cathy » Tue Jun 07, 2011 10:38 pm UTC

Aaeriele wrote:
KestrelLowing wrote:Well, my favorite lotion for the face is Aveeno face lotion - although it's kind of pricey (more expensive than most drug store lotions, less expensive than the ones you get from makeup companies, etc.).

I second Aveeno making really nice lotion.

I third this. I use Aveeno on my hands/feet/face/elbows when it's cold and dry and I love it. Not greasy at all. I also use it on my face before makeup and it makes my face feel 10x better. Sadly, I didn't have any acne at all until college... none as a teenager, some as a 20 year old. Sigh.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Tue Jun 07, 2011 10:40 pm UTC

I have to second the apricot scrub from St Ives. So far it is the only thing helping, and I've been through the dermatologist prescription stuff too.

Angua - haha that is funny! I just stumbled across them in googling. So far by FAR the nicest stuff I've seen, sadly, still too pricey and their clearance sale stuff while perhaps do-able (or, more do-able) those styles I wasn't quite a fan of as much at least without trying in person, although by their return policy they are quite generous with it. When I visit there maybe I shall have to find a store and shop a bit in it, and at least figure out what of theirs works on me so I can order if I so choose.

Cait - I...uh...swimsuit outlet stores? There is such a thing? Maybe being in Michigan we don't hear of such things. I'll look...but I've never heard of anything like that. Great idea though!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby bluebambue » Wed Jun 08, 2011 12:27 am UTC

Bravissimo: I bought some bras there when I was studying abroad. I love them. I have since ordered a second batch and a swimsuit. They make really nice stuff.

They also recently expanded their clothing line and created a sister company type thing. Their clothing sizes are a combination of your boob size and what size you would be if you had normal sized boobs.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Cathy » Wed Jun 08, 2011 12:46 am UTC

Two things:

Aaaaahh! I just tried using Nair for the first time and my legs are itchy and splotchy red and they hurt! Ack! Not ever doing this again! I only left it on for 4-5 minutes too! Does anyone else have this issue?

Oh. My. Goodness. I am in love with the Pepperberry clothes! They're just kind of expensive in USD and I'd have to ship all the way to Texas. :( People don't believe that I'm curvy because I'm a pretty small person, but boobies love to defy me. <3 Clothes made for boobs.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby poxic » Wed Jun 08, 2011 1:06 am UTC

Cathy wrote:Aaaaahh! I just tried using Nair for the first time and my legs are itchy and splotchy red and they hurt! Ack! Not ever doing this again! I only left it on for 4-5 minutes too! Does anyone else have this issue?

Sounds like you could be allergic or otherwise sensitive to it. Did you do a patch test? (I know I never do those, but that doesn't mean they aren't good ideas. >.>)

Rinse with cool water and mild soap. If you have calamine lotion or aloe gel, try that and see if it helps at all. :(
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby podbaydoor » Wed Jun 08, 2011 1:18 am UTC

I've been waiting for my acne to clear up since I was 13. My cheeks are going to be scarred forever, I think, since I picked a lot of them off improperly. On top of the scarring, I'm starting to have a resurgence in constant acne on my cheeks and jawline, I'm starting to look like I'm 16 again. I could cry just thinking about it. Wasn't this supposed to go away when I grew up?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Cathy » Wed Jun 08, 2011 4:18 am UTC

poxic wrote:Sounds like you could be allergic or otherwise sensitive to it. Did you do a patch test? (I know I never do those, but that doesn't mean they aren't good ideas. >.>)

Rinse with cool water and mild soap. If you have calamine lotion or aloe gel, try that and see if it helps at all. :(

I always fail to do patch tests <.< >.> Probably something to do with not being allergic to anything I've ever met. It's not so much hives as just unhappy skin, I think. I guess I'm sensitive to it. Bah, humbug. I wanted a good way to get hair off my legs. I put lotion on it and that helped a lot.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Hofstadter'sLaw » Wed Jun 08, 2011 4:32 am UTC

Cathy wrote:I always fail to do patch tests <.< >.> Probably something to do with not being allergic to anything I've ever met. It's not so much hives as just unhappy skin, I think. I guess I'm sensitive to it. Bah, humbug. I wanted a good way to get hair off my legs. I put lotion on it and that helped a lot.


I used to break out in welts around an area where I have to give myself an injection in my thigh. If I take a benadryl an hour and a half before I do the shot, I don't have any problems at all (aside from being drowsy, haha). Maybe that would help, though I'm not sure how different reactions to topical vs. injections are.

podbaydoor wrote:I've been waiting for my acne to clear up since I was 13. My cheeks are going to be scarred forever, I think, since I picked a lot of them off improperly. On top of the scarring, I'm starting to have a resurgence in constant acne on my cheeks and jawline, I'm starting to look like I'm 16 again. I could cry just thinking about it. Wasn't this supposed to go away when I grew up?


*hug* =/ If I find something that helps with scarring, I'll let you know.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby poxic » Wed Jun 08, 2011 4:35 am UTC

Cathy, it's probably just a mild reaction to the general toxicity of the crap they need to use to DISSOLVE THE FREAKIN' HAIR OFF OF YOUR SKIN. Nothing to see here, folks, move along. :|

One day, I keep hoping they'll invent a totally-safe-and-painless-and-instant-and-everything-wonderful general hairicide, to be applied precisely-and-easily at those points where we do not want hair to be while leaving all other points alone. (I have failed, so far, to find such a wonderful any tolerable option.)

And then I feel guilty for wishing to force my body to conform to unfair social expectations. And then I'm off on a spree of thinking too much. And then I remember that I really, really need a vacaction. >.<
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby MadParrot » Wed Jun 08, 2011 8:37 am UTC

Cathy wrote:
Aaeriele wrote:
KestrelLowing wrote:Sadly, I didn't have any acne at all until college... none as a teenager, some as a 20 year old. Sigh.


Argh yes. I'm 25, Its never been *bad*#, just consistant I think its all permanant fixture now :(. So do we have any >30yo people who's acne has actually gone away? I know I shouldn't care though, at least I don't need to shave over it :)


(#except for a few weeks back when I tried a beautiful grapefruit scented anti-pimple wash which I mustn't have washed off and made my face peel then sprout pimples everwhere - real effective that is.)


I sometimes use a wash, then if I think my skin is going to get dry, rub sorbolene cream on it.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Cathy » Wed Jun 08, 2011 11:17 am UTC

Poxic, I think you're right. My legs have calmed down and all's well. I must admit, the idea of dissolving my hair off makes me a little nervous! Social expectations can stuff it most of the time, haha... I love having the feel of smooth legs when I'm wearing a skirt or a dress, but half the time when I wear shorts I just don't bother. And I hardly ever shave underarms because my skin flares up like nothing else. It's painful for days if I shave even it even if I use sensitive shaving cream and everything! :roll:

MadParrot wrote:I know I shouldn't care though, at least I don't need to shave over it :)

My guy has to shave over acne. :( That looks crazy painful.

I use a face scrub called Olay Clarify and Cleanse and it works decently well as a preventative. Takes any makeup off and makes my skin less oily.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Angua » Wed Jun 08, 2011 11:20 am UTC

poxic wrote:
One day, I keep hoping they'll invent a totally-safe-and-painless-and-instant-and-everything-wonderful general hairicide, to be applied precisely-and-easily at those points where we do not want hair to be while leaving all other points alone. (I have failed, so far, to find such a wonderful any tolerable option.)

And then I feel guilty for wishing to force my body to conform to unfair social expectations. And then I'm off on a spree of thinking too much. And then I remember that I really, really need a vacaction. >.<
My bf said that once after lectures they were looking for volunteers for hair removal stuff - you just rubbed it in and the hair came off (and I don't think he even had to wash it off).

Sadly, the only thing I've ever had the chance to try (and decided not to take it) was an energy drink for soldiers that they were trying different flavours because it tasted vile (I think you got a free doughnut for trying them :P )
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Enuja » Wed Jun 08, 2011 12:13 pm UTC

MadParrot wrote:So do we have any >30yo people who's acne has actually gone away?
My acne didn't suddenly disappear, and I still sometimes get occasional pimples. But it's nothing like when I was a teenager. I used to usually have at least two or three active pimples on my face at any given time, and I got enormous, ugly, painful ones about once a month. I do not remember when this stopped. I'm pretty sure that by the time I was 20, I was almost never getting enormous pimples. At this point (I'm 30), I only rarely have an active pimple - maybe once a month? - and I can't remember the last time I had one of those enormous painful ones I used to hate so much. But I don't remember noticing my acne going away; it was extremely gradual. I do remember being very annoyed when I was 22 or so that I still had plenty of acne, when I "should" have grown out of it. Looking back, though, that "plenty" of acne really wasn't as bad as it was at its peak, when I was 16 or so.

On hair: right now I have a boyfriend who adores my hairy underarms. He also makes cute, positive comments about my hairy legs, but I don't think he's got near the thing for the hairy legs that he does for the hair underarms. We're poly, so he talks about other women. His other current regular girlfriend shaves, but he was talking about an upcoming naked bike ride, and looking forward to seeing some hairy woman (expecting that the crazy hippies who don't shave will have some overlap with crazy hippies who ride their bikes naked). I haven't been shaving my legs and arm pits for about three years at this point, and my spouse doesn't have any problems with hairy me. But having someone who actually actively likes it is really different, and makes not shaving so much easier. The same would be true with non-sexual appearance feedback, of course, but I get more feedback from partners than from anybody else. (Which makes it pretty easy for me to buck gender expectations, because it really is women who enforce dress codes on other women, in completely non-sexual contexts.)

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby KestrelLowing » Wed Jun 08, 2011 12:38 pm UTC

Enuja wrote:... because it really is women who enforce dress codes on other women, in completely non-sexual contexts.)

QFT

In my experience, males really don't care what you're wearing if it fits - so things like muffin tops that are caused by wearing far too tight pants are generally thing only thing I've heard guys ever criticize for. (Oh, and those hats at the royal wedding, but come on! Those were ridiculous!) Also, I've met a fair number of guys, including my boyfriend, that prefer women without makeup, or actually don't think the typical very thin models are all that attractive.

Other females are really the ones that make all the rules. Lets make it stop!

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby doogly » Wed Jun 08, 2011 1:00 pm UTC

Muffin top is the best part of the muffin, that is not even a problem.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby KestrelLowing » Wed Jun 08, 2011 1:55 pm UTC

doogly wrote:Muffin top is the best part of the muffin, that is not even a problem.


That is very, very true. Muffin tops are much better than the bottoms. Mmmmm.... muffins......

Oh, and I'm not trying to say that people who are a bit more chunky around the middle are unattractive. I'm just saying that the only appearance issue wrt clothing that I've ever heard guys complain about are women who wear far too small clothing. Also, there's a huge chance that that totally doesn't bother some guys.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby doogly » Wed Jun 08, 2011 2:29 pm UTC

Muffin bottom is also delicious.
I love muffins so much.
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