[SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby meatyochre » Wed Oct 13, 2010 11:48 pm UTC

Yeah hands are incredibly oily. When I'm not paying attention, I also have a tendency to mess with my hair and then touch my face, which is a huge no-no. If you can try to adopt a no-hand-near-face policy, that might help.

If Shark Week is not being irregular with regards to timing or flow, and you have no strange male-pattern body hair, I wouldn't worry about hormones being the issue.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby GraphiteGirl » Thu Oct 14, 2010 12:24 am UTC

paulisa wrote:I've encountered the "made-up to look natural" doublethink before and I've seen people who can pull it off, but I never managed that. It's probably too much of a time-investment for me to be bothered. I'm not sure I understand "neutral eyeshadow". Doesn't that pretty much not show up at all? So what does it change/make better?

When people say "natural", they don't generally mean "identical to your skin tone", but more "shades of relatively naturalistic, subdued colours" - things that don't look bright and draw attention to themselves. Eyeshadow tends to make one's eyes look comparatively brighter because of the slight darkening of colour surrounding it. It's a very subtle effect - something like this:
Spoiler:
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or perhaps more like this:
Spoiler:
Image
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Aaeriele » Thu Oct 14, 2010 2:24 am UTC

meatyochre wrote:as above with a transwoman who wants to look and feel more feminine


Don't feel bad about it or anything, but a polite request - "trans woman" has a space in it. Thanks!

Edit: Also, my first attempt at makeup:

Spoiler:
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby crystal_owl » Thu Oct 14, 2010 12:39 pm UTC

Aaeriele, that looks lovely! Are you wearing lip gloss? Your lips looks gorgeous! You've got a nice even skin tone too, and I know this sounds odd but you have really good bone structure! Something else occured to me as I was putting mascara on just now - my brother has the most amazing eyelashes, which led to a conversation ages ago with several other girls about how, generally speaking, guys have longer and thicker lashes than girls do and how unfair is that? But it just struck me that in the case of trans women they'll be lucky enough to have awesome 'guy lashes' but on a woman's face. Score.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby MadParrot » Thu Oct 14, 2010 1:35 pm UTC

heh, I recently had an interview - went out and got a new pair of nice pants and a shirt, e.t.c but makeup never crossed my mind. Granted it was located at a uni, and I don't wear makeup. I was so shocked I saw that my last flatmate put on warpaint everyday.

I've worn makeup a sum total of once in my life - and that doesn't really count because I was fancy dressing as a 6yo playing dressups (so the makeup went on thick, and the lipstick everywhere in the general vicinity of my jaws)

[size=85]*and is it just me or are those round makeup (removal?) pads really gross. I was picking the hair from the showerdrain with my fingers and using tissues to pick up one of those things.[/size]

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Aaeriele » Thu Oct 14, 2010 4:32 pm UTC

crystal_owl wrote:Aaeriele, that looks lovely! Are you wearing lip gloss? Your lips looks gorgeous!


Yes, it's a nice strawberry lipgloss. ^^
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby suffer-cait » Thu Oct 14, 2010 8:08 pm UTC

/me works at a strip club and doesn't wear make-up, not even when i interviewed
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby podbaydoor » Thu Oct 14, 2010 8:26 pm UTC

Yeah, I don't wear makeup ever. Honestly, I think makeup wouldn't really make my face look better, and soap+water+acne medication already strains the limit of my patience in my daily routine, anyway.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby crystal_owl » Thu Oct 14, 2010 10:32 pm UTC

I love makeup - I find it fun to put on and experiment with, and I find it does brighten up my face a bit as I have quite short eyelashes and an uneven skin tone, though actually I finally seem to have found a skincare regime that's taking care of that. For a long time I wouldn't go out without basic makeup on (at least mascara and powder) and it was only my sister pointing this out to me repeatedly that made me decide to train myself to be ok about going out without it. I felt really uncomfortable at first, as wearing such heavy makeup all the time (I went through a phase of wearing both liquid and powder foundation every day when really that's too heavy for my skin) meant that my skin had become quite oily and prone to breakouts. Now though, I often go out barefaced. I still prefer wearing mascara to open my eyes a bit and a light tinted moisturiser to even out my skin and protect it from the environment (SPF 15 in makeup is just genius) but I'm really glad I've got to the point where I just like to wear makeup instead of feeling like I need to. It's made makeup fun again, as it's no longer something associated with my low self confidence. Little things like matching my eyeshadow to my outfit will give me a little boost!
I only use liquid foundation now if I'm going to a fancy event or am on stage, and it's made a drastic difference to my skin - I am a little bit in love with my tinted moisturiser as it provides the light coverage I like whilst actually being good for my skin! I invested in a really good one and it doesn't clog my pores up at all which was part of the problem with my previous makeup regime. Stage makeup is awful for the skin as it's so thick and they keep reapplying it. I always go through about three times as much cleanser taking it off than I do with normal stuff. A while back I was in Doctor Faustus and we all had really scary demon makeup which involved thick black facepaint all around our eyes - it took forever to take off each night. So long that once I couldn't be bothered to take it off at the theatre and walked home with it on late at night. I forgot I was wearing it and couldn't work out why people kept jumping when they saw me!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Thu Oct 14, 2010 10:37 pm UTC

Hehe at the jumpyness from black makeup.

I wish I could wear funky color eyeshadow. My eyelids fold totally up though. Like, I've watched a lot of "how to apply" videos and stuff and see how my friends do it, but my lid doesn't show at all. All goes up into the crevice. so i've never figured out the point or how to do it, as it never shows anyway.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby GraphiteGirl » Thu Oct 14, 2010 10:44 pm UTC

crystal_owl wrote:Stage makeup is awful for the skin as it's so thick and they keep reapplying it. I always go through about three times as much cleanser taking it off than I do with normal stuff.

One great way to take it off relatively quickly is to cover your made up face with Sorbolene cream, then take a wet cloth or paper towel and rub off the cream, taking the makeup with it. Then you can use the cleanser on the already mostly cleared skin.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby crystal_owl » Thu Oct 14, 2010 10:48 pm UTC

Sungura - without seeing your eyes I can't give better advice, but have you tried really vibrant colours? Different people's eyelids do fold differently so if less of yours shows normally try making more of a statement of it.

GraphiteGirl - I actually ended up going to the professional makeup shop in Covent Garden and getting a special base that acts as a protective barrier between the skin and the makeup. I haven't had a chance to try it yet but I assume it makes it easier to take off too, as it's not being absorbed by the skin, like what you're suggesting. I'm doing some filming in the next few months so I'll try it out then!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby suffer-cait » Thu Oct 14, 2010 11:26 pm UTC

sungura, you are just putting the shadow in the wrong place.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Ashlah » Fri Oct 15, 2010 1:03 am UTC

I don't wear makeup. Twice, for school dances, I let my mother do my makeup. I didn't care for it. I still think about it once in a while, but I'm afraid of no longer being able to not wear makeup.

I am curious about this tinted moisturizer... Considering I have skin problems, would I still have to make sure to wash it off at the end of the night just like makeup? Or is it seriously just moisturizer that I can leave on forever?

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby femtometer » Fri Oct 15, 2010 1:59 am UTC

I think that it would still be advisable to wash off at the end of the night. It's very lightweight however, I think it wouldn't be nearly as big of a deal if you occasionally forgot to wash it off as opposed to not washing off a heavier foundation. I know I've left tinted moisturizer on overnight and not had a problem.

I never really use more than tinted moisturizer + a light powder as foundation, I don't like looking "made up," even when I'm going out on a date or other special occasions. I'm also not a big fan of eyeshadow, I always think it looks odd. A thin line of brown eyeliner is all's I need. A light coat of pinkish brownish lip color and I'm ready to hit the town.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Rinsaikeru » Fri Oct 15, 2010 2:02 am UTC

Sungura wrote:Hehe at the jumpyness from black makeup.

I wish I could wear funky color eyeshadow. My eyelids fold totally up though. Like, I've watched a lot of "how to apply" videos and stuff and see how my friends do it, but my lid doesn't show at all. All goes up into the crevice. so i've never figured out the point or how to do it, as it never shows anyway.



For some people with similar issues this is the advice I've heard:

Pick three colours (neutral, highlight and darker colour)---
Apply neutral over whole lid. Apply highlight on brow bone and in corner of eye near nose. Apply darker colour on the OUTSIDE of eye and blend it towards the middle. (Left to right rather than up and down.)
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Fri Oct 15, 2010 2:37 am UTC

thanks.
My eye, close up:
(uh it's for a photo project, since i was going for the sad look, yes, a tiny sliver of the upper lid is showing, imagine that all folded under though)
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Moo » Fri Oct 15, 2010 4:25 am UTC

When you look in the mirror, you're looking yourself in the face full on with your eyes open. But in everyday life you blink, look down, tilt your chin - all things that change how much of your lid is visible. Eyeshadow would show up in a normal day's movement.

That's not at all to say you need to wear eyeshadow, though, of course.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby natraj » Fri Oct 15, 2010 5:03 pm UTC

I never wear "natural" looking makeup but sometimes going out I like makeup in ridiculous colors. Especially if it is glittery.

I might still be stuck in seventh grade or so, maybe. But glittery purple eyeshadow makes the world a better place.

or okay at least a sparklier one.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Jessica » Fri Oct 15, 2010 5:11 pm UTC

Dramatic and colourful makeup is fun! :D
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby crowey » Fri Oct 15, 2010 8:06 pm UTC

I go for ridiculous colours too, I like peacock blue eye liner, which I put on thick enough to make the ancient Egyptians jealous. I usually wear gold or bright green eye shadow with it. The gold one is amazing, it looks like gold leaf I love it.

And then I hide it all behind my glasses :lol:

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby crystal_owl » Fri Oct 15, 2010 8:29 pm UTC

That sounds so awesome! I was sorting out my makeup earlier and apart from green I don't have any bright colours anymore - I'm going to ask for this for Christmas so I can play!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby femtometer » Fri Oct 15, 2010 8:39 pm UTC

I gotta admit, one of my favorite experiments with makeup was with a bright jewel-toned green eyeshadow when I went to a Muse concert. It went wonderfully with the shirt I wore. I really don't know enough about makeup to do anything but just *put it on*, so I didn't venture into highlighting or other colors in the crease or whatnot. I had fun though, and I think it looked pretty good.

In other girly news, I ordered a real corset today. :o

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Hyphe » Fri Oct 15, 2010 9:59 pm UTC

Woman thread, please help!

I pick at my spots. Any zit, pimple, blackhead or bump will be scratched, squeezed, popped or dug out with great prejuduce. Even when I'm not thinking about it, even when nowhere near a mirror, my hands will just unconciously wander around my face until they find a bit that isn't smooth and scratch scratch scratch. If I can't find any blemishes (and I find even the *tiniest* things), I often find myself picking at freckles, or bumps, or scars left by all the picking that I do. I often pick until I bleed. If I am bored or stressed or upset it gets much worse. I pick my friends. It takes willpower not to pick at *complete strangers*.

It is easy to stop this for other people - they go 'ow', or otherwise react in a negative way, so I stop. But with my own skin, I face the two-fold problem of not really noticing or caring about any pain, and the unbearableness of leaving something unpicked. :cry:

I would like to have nice skin again. Is there anything I can do to keep my hands away from my face? I tried cutting my nails very short, which resulted in me doing even more damage over a bigger area when I caved/forgot and tried to pick something. Maybe there is something foul-smelling I can put on my nails, like the anti-bite stuff? Or somewhere I can get gloves? (I'd rather not have to wear them all the time, since I type all day, but I'll try anything.)

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby meatyochre » Fri Oct 15, 2010 10:59 pm UTC

Hyphe wrote:Woman thread, please help!

I pick at my spots. Any zit, pimple, blackhead or bump will be scratched, squeezed, popped or dug out with great prejuduce. Even when I'm not thinking about it, even when nowhere near a mirror, my hands will just unconciously wander around my face until they find a bit that isn't smooth and scratch scratch scratch. If I can't find any blemishes (and I find even the *tiniest* things), I often find myself picking at freckles, or bumps, or scars left by all the picking that I do. I often pick until I bleed. If I am bored or stressed or upset it gets much worse. I pick my friends. It takes willpower not to pick at *complete strangers*.

It is easy to stop this for other people - they go 'ow', or otherwise react in a negative way, so I stop. But with my own skin, I face the two-fold problem of not really noticing or caring about any pain, and the unbearableness of leaving something unpicked. :cry:

I would like to have nice skin again. Is there anything I can do to keep my hands away from my face? I tried cutting my nails very short, which resulted in me doing even more damage over a bigger area when I caved/forgot and tried to pick something. Maybe there is something foul-smelling I can put on my nails, like the anti-bite stuff? Or somewhere I can get gloves? (I'd rather not have to wear them all the time, since I type all day, but I'll try anything.)

It's definitely not easy. Maybe not a physical addiction, but it is definitely something that you find psychologically satisfying. I think maybe distractions or other things to pick at are your best options. Maybe start caking on heavy makeup (just for a couple weeks at the most) so that every time you go to touch your face, you would smudge it and look stupid. This (plus actually feeling the makeup on your face when you go to touch it) would be a reminder to stop.

I am currently going through something similar, in the process of trying to regrow my nails, which I've been compulsively biting since age 5 or so (definitely as long as I can remember). I'm trying to replace nail-biting with gum and chewing on other things (like my pen), and using nail polish to remind myself "hey! Your nails look nice already, and it's only been a few days since you started the quitting process! So stop biting them, dopey!"

The longer you go, the easier it will get. But for me, quitting biting my nails is actually more difficult than quitting smoking was, because I can unconsciously bite (just as you can unconsciously pick). But you can't smoke unconsciously, so it's a little different.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby RoadieRich » Fri Oct 15, 2010 11:50 pm UTC

You could try wearing a stiky plaster/bandaid on the end of your thumb or finger. It's both a visual and tactile reminder not to do it, and it also makes the actual habit somewhat awkward. It's also got a legitimate explanation if you don't want to tell everyone that asks that you're trying not to pick at spots.

It will be hard work stopping - the same as with any habit - but keep at it, and you'll get there eventually. Studies suggest it takes roughly 40 days (about six weeks) to stop a bad habit - or to pick up a good one.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby apricity » Sat Oct 16, 2010 12:05 am UTC

Hyphe wrote:Woman thread, please help!

I pick at my spots. Any zit, pimple, blackhead or bump will be scratched, squeezed, popped or dug out with great prejuduce. Even when I'm not thinking about it, even when nowhere near a mirror, my hands will just unconciously wander around my face until they find a bit that isn't smooth and scratch scratch scratch. If I can't find any blemishes (and I find even the *tiniest* things), I often find myself picking at freckles, or bumps, or scars left by all the picking that I do. I often pick until I bleed. If I am bored or stressed or upset it gets much worse. I pick my friends. It takes willpower not to pick at *complete strangers*.

It is easy to stop this for other people - they go 'ow', or otherwise react in a negative way, so I stop. But with my own skin, I face the two-fold problem of not really noticing or caring about any pain, and the unbearableness of leaving something unpicked. :cry:

I would like to have nice skin again. Is there anything I can do to keep my hands away from my face? I tried cutting my nails very short, which resulted in me doing even more damage over a bigger area when I caved/forgot and tried to pick something. Maybe there is something foul-smelling I can put on my nails, like the anti-bite stuff? Or somewhere I can get gloves? (I'd rather not have to wear them all the time, since I type all day, but I'll try anything.)
This is actually a recognized disorder called dermatillomania, and the therapies for it are similar to those of other compulsive behaviors. A therapist might be able to help if you want to go to that trouble, or else you could try searching the internet for support groups.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Jessica » Sun Oct 17, 2010 3:00 am UTC

Hey Hyphe. Long time no see!

I agree with Lanicita. You may want to talk to a psychologist, or a psychiatrist who specializes in OCD related disorders. From the sound of it, it sounds like the beginning stages of one of those spectrum of disorders.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby katethegreat » Mon Oct 18, 2010 2:38 am UTC

Hyphe-
I do the same thing. It's really bad when I get a mosquito bite: I scratch until I bleed, then pick at the scab until it bleeds, then another scab forms and the cycle continues! :(. And then I get a scar.
According to my wikipedia research, I have dermatillomania (picking at skin), dermatophagia (biting at skin), onychophagia (biting nails), trichotillomania (pulling out hair, in my case only pubic hair). I don't think it's anywhere close to being serious enough to talk to a doctor though...

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Mon Oct 18, 2010 3:23 am UTC

I tend to pick at my face too :( no nails doesn't help so I keep them. But, my red bumps usually itch. The pimples usually get left alone, or get gotten in the process. When I was younger (like, 10, before the age of breaking out!) I would get red bumps on my face that looked pimple like, and did the whole allergy testing thing, it came back allergic to dust. I got red bumps from that one. So...lovely. I have prettymuch curbed picking on them when I'm awake, but at night, I usually scratch or something in my sleep.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Hyphe » Mon Oct 18, 2010 8:42 pm UTC

Hi Jess! *waves*

Thanks for the suggestions, guys, they're all really great! :) I had no idea it was an actual thing, I just thought I was wierd - it being hereditary really struck a chord, as my mother has been doing it all her life (not ending up with skin like hers is a big incentive to stop). I have bought a big pack of plasters to stick over my fingers and I am going to see if that helps. :D

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby meatyochre » Mon Oct 18, 2010 9:05 pm UTC

I know they make little finger condoms too, for people who work cash registers and are germophobic. Might work in a pinch.

What is a plaster?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby bigglesworth » Mon Oct 18, 2010 9:09 pm UTC

An adhesive bandage.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby RoadieRich » Mon Oct 18, 2010 9:13 pm UTC

Commonly known as a bandaid to USians.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby femtometer » Tue Oct 19, 2010 1:43 pm UTC

I got my corset in the mail, that was insanely fast shipping! It's pretty hard to lace up by myself, but I managed to get it quite tight.
Spoiler:
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby podbaydoor » Tue Oct 19, 2010 2:28 pm UTC

Whoa, nice!

I just ordered my first corset as well, hope mine looks half as good as yours.
tenet |ˈtenit|
noun
a principle or belief, esp. one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy : the tenets of classical liberalism.
tenant |ˈtenənt|
noun
a person who occupies land or property rented from a landlord.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Mavketl » Tue Oct 19, 2010 2:38 pm UTC

femtometer, that is gorgeous. Does the front look similar?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby suffer-cait » Tue Oct 19, 2010 4:25 pm UTC

yeah! i wanna see front! that fabric looks so cool! also i did not realise your hair had gotten so long
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Wed Oct 20, 2010 12:20 am UTC

Wow, prettttty! :D

Corset is so on my list of purchases for "when I have money"
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby femtometer » Wed Oct 20, 2010 2:55 am UTC

Thanks guys {: Aah, yeah my hair's becoming a bit of a monster, we have a love/hate relationship. It was a treat for myself for various things, plus I saw it on sale here and pretty much had to.
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