[SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby abitha » Mon Jun 08, 2009 11:24 pm UTC

Grrrrrrrrrrr. Minirant coming up...

Threatened to break a guy's arm today (think he was genuinely scared I would, as well!). The situation: we were in the college bar, and a friend of mine, who's a transman, walked in. One of the guys I was sitting with made some comment about him, to which someone else replied "It's not a he, it's a she." I kinda lost it slightly and told him in no uncertain terms that it was not ok to call my friend either 'it' or 'she', and that if he did so again there would be painful consequences. I hope the idiot got the message. Pisses me off so much that my friend has to deal with that kind of thing all the time. :x

/minirant

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Jessica » Tue Jun 09, 2009 1:23 am UTC

I always wonder what people say behind my back. I know there must be the few who make comments when I come and go. I know there are people I know who... don't really like me, whether it's because I'm trans, or because of group dynamics, or because I'm gay... I can't tell. Maybe they just don't like me. who knows. Still sucks to think "Are you just uncomfortable with me being trans? Are you uncomfortable with me being gay?" and be unable to tell, because it's not like they'll say.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby InfamousAnarchist » Tue Jun 09, 2009 10:20 pm UTC

michaelandjimi wrote:Thanks to Author's post in the Intro Thread, I think I'm successfully identified. Bisexual, heteroromantic. Hooray!

Now I kind of wish I read all the intro thread posts, because this is me. Hooray, learning!


EDIT: Congratulations everybody. I just kind of came out to the internet. Before anybody. Hooray anonymity?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Wednesday » Tue Jun 09, 2009 10:33 pm UTC

Grargh. Being a girl, liking girls and guys, in highschool, SUCKS!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby podbaydoor » Tue Jun 09, 2009 11:10 pm UTC

I have a friend who refuses to call trans people by their preferred pronouns. I've explained to him over and over again the differences/fluidity/identity issues between gender, sex, biology, and so on, but he persists in identifying people by their birth biological sex. Pisses me off to no end. Hell, I have an acquaintance who is male to female and has undergone all the surgery (looks gorgeous in a bikini), so she is now functionally, biologically female, and she dates men, and my friend STILL refers to her as "he." I don't know what his problem is.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Captain_Thunder » Wed Jun 10, 2009 9:58 am UTC

podbaydoor wrote:I have a friend who refuses to call trans people by their preferred pronouns. I've explained to him over and over again the differences/fluidity/identity issues between gender, sex, biology, and so on, but he persists in identifying people by their birth biological sex. Pisses me off to no end. Hell, I have an acquaintance who is male to female and has undergone all the surgery (looks gorgeous in a bikini), so she is now functionally, biologically female, and she dates men, and my friend STILL refers to her as "he." I don't know what his problem is.


I'm aware that this is a Safespace, so please don't view this post as an invitation for debate, only as an honest question: how do you define "functionally, biologically female"? Your friend can't experience pregnancy or menstruation, and the surgery certainly didn't give her XX chromosomes, so why call her biologically female? While she is socially and aesthetically female, I don't think you can go farther than that.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Hyphe » Wed Jun 10, 2009 11:08 am UTC

Gender is not defined by those two chromosomes alone: there are many more combinations that XX and XY, and even with the appropriate chromosomes there is no guarantee that will be the resulting gender.

Also, there are many women who are infertile and/or do not menstruate. You wouldn't say that they are not women, or that they are only 'partly' women. "Socially" and "astheticaly" female are really the only external definitions there are, and the only one that actually *matters* is how people choose to define their own gender.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby setzer777 » Wed Jun 10, 2009 2:06 pm UTC

podbaydoor wrote:I have a friend who refuses to call trans people by their preferred pronouns. I've explained to him over and over again the differences/fluidity/identity issues between gender, sex, biology, and so on, but he persists in identifying people by their birth biological sex. Pisses me off to no end. Hell, I have an acquaintance who is male to female and has undergone all the surgery (looks gorgeous in a bikini), so she is now functionally, biologically female, and she dates men, and my friend STILL refers to her as "he." I don't know what his problem is.


Sounds like your friend's problem is that he's a douchebag who cares more about his own preconceived notions and semantic definitions than the feelings of the people around him. It's probably pointless to try, but perhaps you could approach it from a linguistic direction? Point out that language is a tool crafted by humans and used for the benefit of humans, not a set of rules from on high, and if a certain usage (such as using pronouns based on birth biological sex) ends up being inadequate, it's a good idea to change the usage.


Hyphe wrote:Gender is not defined by those two chromosomes alone: there are many more combinations that XX and XY, and even with the appropriate chromosomes there is no guarantee that will be the resulting gender.

Also, there are many women who are infertile and/or do not menstruate. You wouldn't say that they are not women, or that they are only 'partly' women. "Socially" and "astheticaly" female are really the only external definitions there are, and the only one that actually *matters* is how people choose to define their own gender.


Would that make the prefix "biologically" in the previous statement meaningless (as in, not adding any more content to the phrase "she is now functionally female"?)
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby DJorgensen » Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:33 pm UTC

You cannot change the chromosomes you got at birth - be it XY, XXY, XXXY, XX, XXX, or some mosaic of that. It sucks but it is true, and it is the basis of one's genetic sex. However that is very different and irrelevant when it comes to gender identity and chosen sex. Hormones alone activate biological processes to the point of making one biologically functional as one or the other sex. While this has little to do with the reproductive capacity of an individual, it matters greatly with the physical and psychological changes it can allow.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Captain_Thunder » Wed Jun 10, 2009 5:41 pm UTC

DJorgensen wrote:You cannot change the chromosomes you got at birth - be it XY, XXY, XXXY, XX, XXX, or some mosaic of that. It sucks but it is true, and it is the basis of one's genetic sex. However that is very different and irrelevant when it comes to gender identity and chosen sex. Hormones alone activate biological processes to the point of making one biologically functional as one or the other sex. While this has little to do with the reproductive capacity of an individual, it matters greatly with the physical and psychological changes it can allow.


Right. I never implied that biological sex was more important than preferred sex, I just didn't think it was appropriate to say that someone who was born as a normal (I'm assuming) male had become biological female.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby DJorgensen » Wed Jun 10, 2009 6:28 pm UTC

Captain_Thunder wrote:
DJorgensen wrote:You cannot change the chromosomes you got at birth - be it XY, XXY, XXXY, XX, XXX, or some mosaic of that. It sucks but it is true, and it is the basis of one's genetic sex. However that is very different and irrelevant when it comes to gender identity and chosen sex. Hormones alone activate biological processes to the point of making one biologically functional as one or the other sex. While this has little to do with the reproductive capacity of an individual, it matters greatly with the physical and psychological changes it can allow.


Right. I never implied that biological sex was more important than preferred sex, I just didn't think it was appropriate to say that someone who was born as a normal (I'm assuming) male had become biological female.

They were born yes. Probably genetically XY yes. They likely were not ever male though - at least in the sense of their brain (and I mean that both psychologically and physically).
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Osha » Wed Jun 10, 2009 6:38 pm UTC

I've been thinking about this a bit.

It might be the case that biologists use the terms 'male' and 'female' in a very specific scientific sense relating to chromosomes or something (this is what Saladin told me)
but!
BUT!
You do not see people going around pointing out that cisgender men are "technically males" or that cisgender women are "technically females".
While all the time you see people attacking transsexuals this way. Saying "oh, your not really a female" or "oh, but you still have a Y chromosome".
Never do these people seem to be making some sort of biological insight like "Oh! It's great how you can get pregnant because you're biologically female"
No, it's always use to oppress and marginalize, often as we've seen, by denying proper pronouns or insisting "but you're really a woman" etc. etc.
Maybe in scientific biology texts it would be ok to talk about males and females... MAYBE!
Any other place, social settings, polite conversation, etc. No freakin' way!
That's transmisogyny disguised as being sophisticated and academic.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Shivahn » Wed Jun 10, 2009 8:29 pm UTC

Yeah... I also want to point out that if you're going to declare people's sex by chromosome, you should probably have yourself checked out before you let people use gendered pronouns on you. If that's so important, you should probably apply it across the board, right? It's likely that pod's friend is really male, but does he/she know that?

See how ridiculous this is?

Also, genetically speaking, if you have a chronic viral infection, some of your cells have literal viral DNA intertwined with their own. That doesn't make you part virus.

Again, ridiculous. No one would THINK to apply their standards of what constitutes a valid gender across the board. To do so, they'd have to admit that they don't know their own chromosomes, and may in fact be part virus. Among other things.

Osha's right. Even bothering to make the distinction, if you're not a doctor, is probably rooted in transphobia and double standards. Not to mention that mentioning the difference shows that you think you have the right to designate other people's identities, and have no problem with abusing that even when people get frustrated.

In short, it's a double standard that's applied selectively, rooted in transphobia, and backed by society. And it sucks. Don't do it.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby abitha » Wed Jun 10, 2009 9:54 pm UTC

Osha wrote:You do not see people going around pointing out that cisgender men are "technically males" or that cisgender women are "technically females".


Why would they, though? It would be a statement of the obvious as far as most people are concerned.

It is fairly hard for most people, if they've never met a trans person or had any particular reason to find out about trans issues, to get their head round the idea that you could have a pair of X chromosomes and be born with female anatomy, be brought up as a girl, and yet identify as male (or vice versa). Anything that's outside one's own realm of experience, or at least the experience of one's friends and acquaintances, is always going to seem a bit weird initially. I'd never met anyone trans until about a year ago, and I'd imagine the majority of people never (knowingly) have - there simply aren't that many around. I hope I wouldn't have made any comments like the one I had a rant about earlier on this page, but I'm not sure I'd have known which pronoun to use without being told, and when you're new to the subject it's hard to think of ways to delineate what one means without accidentally offending someone (e.g. the distinction between biologically, functionally, socially, psychologically - not to mention words like 'actually' or 'really', which can open up a whole other can of worms!)

I'm not saying that that makes it ok for people to discriminate or be obnoxious, and I can see why you guys find it frustrating that people don't get it, but it seems slightly unrealistic to suppose that people should 'get it' naturally. It's not really enough to say "but it should be obvious to everyone" - it's obvious to those in the know, but not to someone who's never had to think about it. Maybe the way sex education is taught in schools needs to cover such things a bit better, so that people do have to think about it? I'm not sure how else you can change things, given the relative rarity of transpeople.

I hope the above doesn't come across as defending discrimination in any way, and clearly I'm not saying you guys shouldn't be able to have a moan about people not understanding (it's safespace, after all) - I just wonder if anyone can suggest any positive ways of educating the general population so that they won't be such jerks the first time they meet a transperson?

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby podbaydoor » Wed Jun 10, 2009 9:54 pm UTC

By "biologically, functionally female," I meant that she has fully formed breasts and at least something akin to a vagina - well, I never inquired about the gory details, but she's had sex with men without the men ever knowing she was formerly male, so I'm fairly certain she fulfills society's aesthetic and sexual expectations for female (her bikinis are tinier than mine). Her family is loaded so she was able to go as far as surgery allowed her.

Now, I admit that "biological, functional" were somewhat vague terms that I used out of my own ignorance of ideal/better defined terminology. Anyway, there's my clarification.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby theoldbean » Sat Jun 13, 2009 12:16 pm UTC

What ho! Just joined here! The Old Bean's m'name. Just happened to notice this thread here. As a teacher and of someone of this thread's persuasion, I am slowly trying to eradicate the phrase "that's so gay" from the school (a highly prejudiced one). Hoorah!

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby steewi » Mon Jun 15, 2009 3:53 am UTC

theoldbean wrote:What ho! Just joined here! The Old Bean's m'name. Just happened to notice this thread here. As a teacher and of someone of this thread's persuasion, I am slowly trying to eradicate the phrase "that's so gay" from the school (a highly prejudiced one). Hoorah!

Hi there, oldbean, you might know me as Buckbear.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby theoldbean » Mon Jun 15, 2009 9:40 am UTC

steewi wrote:
theoldbean wrote:What ho! Just joined here! The Old Bean's m'name. Just happened to notice this thread here. As a teacher and of someone of this thread's persuasion, I am slowly trying to eradicate the phrase "that's so gay" from the school (a highly prejudiced one). Hoorah!

Hi there, oldbean, you might know me as Buckbear.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby gibberishtwist » Tue Jun 16, 2009 7:46 am UTC

.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Plasma Man » Tue Jun 16, 2009 11:04 am UTC

Teachers can make a difference. I'd like to retrospectively praise my religion teacher, who decided to broaden their remit to include gender and sexuality issues (claiming it was philosophical debate). The highlight was probably when they decided to expalain that while Section 28 prevented them from saying certain things, it did not prevent them from saying that they thought Section 28 was prejudiced and wrong.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby semicharmed » Wed Jun 17, 2009 3:41 pm UTC

This was linked in the NY Times today, really interesting. Very brief video-essay about one woman's MTF transition.
http://www.nytimes.com/packages/html/nyregion/secondchance/index.html

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Jessica » Wed Jun 17, 2009 4:14 pm UTC

As much as I like seeing trans people in the media and that any exposure is good exposure, I do really dislike how these media outlets are treated. I mean, it starts off with the woman "artificially" making herself a woman. It goes on to show how classically feminine she is "Well, i have this coat...", she says "I'll always be a dad" as if showing that, on the inside, she isn't really a woman.

I know it's nitpicky. And I should just be happy for exposure... i just wish... I don't know. I'd love to see them do one of me. "So what do you do in the morning?" "I get out of bed, sit on my PC for a bit, then shower and put on clothes." "Do you do a bunch of makeup?" "No.... not unless I'm going to the club..." "can we film that?" "No... you can film me talking if you want.."
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby semicharmed » Wed Jun 17, 2009 5:23 pm UTC

I didn't see the morning routine as necessarily artificial, but I think it's a generational thing. The woman in the clip is probably somewhere between my mom's age (46) and my aunt (59), and makeup is a giant part of their everyday, morning routine. And pretty intensely too, even if they're only running errands. Foundation and all that, mascara, eyeliner. And I'm sure hair would be a much bigger part if my mom didn't keep hers short, and my aunt's wasn't perpetually kept in a simple braid.
I'm much more like you, Jessica, with a different order. Get up, shower, sit around in my towel on the computer, brush the hair, throw clothes on, brush my teeth. Makeup is only ever if I'm going out somewhere fancy, and even then, it's maybe eyeliner + mascara. Maybe fancy lipgloss.
I'd definitely be interested in seeing what the unused footage was, just in terms of what editorial decisions were made. The entire series is based around a senior NY Times photographer's exploration/transition to video, so it'll be interesting to compare this short to stuff in the coming weeks.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Jessica » Wed Jun 17, 2009 5:35 pm UTC

True, it's part of the routine. But, when people do documentaries about people, how often do you see the putting on makeup shot? When you see documentaries (among other media...) about trans people, how often is the makeup shot done? Look at transamerica, that movie about a trans woman which is supposed to be really well done...
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby DJorgensen » Wed Jun 17, 2009 11:54 pm UTC

I roll out of bed, and try to find clothes that are generally strewn about on the floor cause I never got around to putting the clean ones away...
I get to my computer and sit and lose track of time.
Later I go "oh shit, I'm late" and either throw on some eyeliner if I have to be pretty, or just brush my hair and scurry out the door.
That's mornings for Denby!

Shortly after that I realize I didn't eat and suffer through appointments or work...
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Aleri » Sat Jun 20, 2009 7:31 am UTC

Also, genetically speaking, if you have a chronic viral infection, some of your cells have literal viral DNA intertwined with their own. That doesn't make you part virus.

A very good point. Also, did you know that roughly 90% of the cells in your body are bacterial? Bacteria outnumber you in your own body 10-to-1. If you are going to determine identity based on biochemical composition, we are all a lot less human than we think.

On a side note, thanks for including the Trans and the Queer folk in this thread :) It is sad to see a part of the community neglected in many groups. I dated an intersex "man" for many years (he considered himself to be mostly female, but presented male because it was easier to pass as male than to pass as female, plus he was attracted to women and didn't want to be considered gay). It caused quite a bit of confusion about my own orientation, and Queer is a nice little basket to be able to jump into, especially considering that everyone needs a proper label these days ;)

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby videogamesizzle » Wed Jun 24, 2009 3:21 am UTC

So.

My name is videogamesizzle.
And, um, I kinda like dudes more than ladies? Sort of? And I just sort of realized it? And I'm kind of confused?

*happy to get it off my chest*
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby steewi » Wed Jun 24, 2009 6:26 am UTC

Hell, that's a good first step, videogamesizzle! It took me a couple of years after I worked it out to be able to tell anyone, even anonymously on the internet. The first person I told, I couldn't even write the word 'gay'. I used euphemisms for four pages!

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Jessica » Wed Jun 24, 2009 1:42 pm UTC

It was so hard to figure out I was trans... and then to admit it afterward.

You've done a good thing :)
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby videogamesizzle » Thu Jun 25, 2009 1:05 am UTC

I do feel kind of better finally admitting it to myself. It is kind of weird, though. It doesn't feel like it should feel weird, but it does.
What is weird is when I think about guys I know. I feel so frigging guilty when I realize what I'm doing. I just saw Transformers 2 with a group of them, and thoughts started creeping through my head, and I felt terrible.
I don't know if you know this, but you guys are awesome. The fact that I can say that to someone and get positive feedback and support is amazing. *hugs you all*
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby InfamousAnarchist » Thu Jun 25, 2009 1:43 am UTC

videogamesizzle wrote:I do feel kind of better finally admitting it to myself. It is kind of weird, though. It doesn't feel like it should feel weird, but it does.
What is weird is when I think about guys I know. I feel so frigging guilty when I realize what I'm doing. I just saw Transformers 2 with a group of them, and thoughts started creeping through my head, and I felt terrible.
I don't know if you know this, but you guys are awesome. The fact that I can say that to someone and get positive feedback and support is amazing. *hugs you all*


Once you get it through your head (it's only about halfway through mine), life seems so much... simpler. "Oh. I like dudes, too. Awesome!"
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby eternal luna » Thu Jun 25, 2009 1:48 am UTC

:? I sometimes feel guilty about having had such an easy time of it- I never questioned or fought my sexuality, it just happened to be that way. Figuring out my gender identity? Yeah, that one was hellishly painful, until I decided it was unnecessary for me.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Delalyra » Thu Jun 25, 2009 1:59 am UTC

I still wonder how much of my sexuality is culturally influenced as opposed to me being me. On the other hand, I've been interested in girls since about the time I hit puberty, so maybe it is just me being me.

Hooray for us all finding out who we are, though!
you may remember me from 2008 or 2009. I left for a while. I'm now sporadically back. I tumble here.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby steewi » Thu Jun 25, 2009 2:08 am UTC

videogamesizzle wrote:What is weird is when I think about guys I know. I feel so frigging guilty when I realize what I'm doing. I just saw Transformers 2 with a group of them, and thoughts started creeping through my head, and I felt terrible.

It's a bit awkward. But then it can be just as awkward having a crush on you favourite female friend as well, right? Well, not as much, maybe but it's the same deal.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby videogamesizzle » Thu Jun 25, 2009 2:16 am UTC

steewi wrote:
videogamesizzle wrote:What is weird is when I think about guys I know. I feel so frigging guilty when I realize what I'm doing. I just saw Transformers 2 with a group of them, and thoughts started creeping through my head, and I felt terrible.

It's a bit awkward. But then it can be just as awkward having a crush on you favourite female friend as well, right? Well, not as much, maybe but it's the same deal.
I guess so. But I never really had any close female friends. I'm kind of an introvert like that.

Delalyra wrote:Hooray for us all finding out who we are, though!
This.
I do feel better about it now that I've actually said it. Looking back, I should have realized this earlier, rather than just suppressing any thoughts I had and saying they meant nothing.
Look at me still talking when there's SCIENCE to do!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby steewi » Thu Jun 25, 2009 2:30 am UTC

videogamesizzle wrote:
Delalyra wrote:Hooray for us all finding out who we are, though!
This.
I do feel better about it now that I've actually said it. Looking back, I should have realized this earlier, rather than just suppressing any thoughts I had and saying they meant nothing.

Oh, I was good at lying to myself. Years of "Oh, I guess I just want to look like him and act like him and be him", without acknowledgement of the follow up thought of "and get it on with him". The human brain can do some amazing loopdiloops to avoid things if you let it.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby videogamesizzle » Thu Jun 25, 2009 2:37 am UTC

steewi wrote:
videogamesizzle wrote:
Delalyra wrote:Hooray for us all finding out who we are, though!
This.
I do feel better about it now that I've actually said it. Looking back, I should have realized this earlier, rather than just suppressing any thoughts I had and saying they meant nothing.

Oh, I was good at lying to myself. Years of "Oh, I guess I just want to look like him and act like him and be him", without acknowledgement of the follow up thought of "and get it on with him". The human brain can do some amazing loopdiloops to avoid things if you let it.
Even if I got to the follow up thought, I just ignored it and passed it off as nothing. Anymore I have no idea how I did it.
But it's all good now. Except the whole getting comfortable in this new semi-outed state, as well as telling other people. But I feel better about myself, so that's a start.
Look at me still talking when there's SCIENCE to do!
Silvyr wrote:I fucking love cocaine. I wish I could buy it somewhere...

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Plasmic-Turtle » Thu Jun 25, 2009 7:57 am UTC

I'm still not 100% sure who I am....
I'd be more than OK with Poxic's "I just feel... human" except that at some point decisions are involved. And decisions just make everything confusing and scary. And my own humanity becomes annoying.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Zohar » Thu Jun 25, 2009 8:00 am UTC

What sort of decisions do you need to make?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Van » Thu Jun 25, 2009 4:51 pm UTC

I find myself in an unexpected situation. Spoilered for transsexual rambling!
Spoiler:
Right, so. Um. I've been on Estrogen, well, HRT, for 7 weeks and 2 days. Not that I'm counting--ha! I have an easier time remembering the day I started HRT than I do my birthday. Anyway.. before I started this, I had great expectations of it being a long journey, something like a road trip: you don't know if it's going to be great fun or really boring, but you can say it's going to be really, really long.

That was the expectation, anyway. Instead? It's been more like I started seeing "Full Time: 1/2 mile" signs in the first month. I'd been keeping a body measurement journal previously (for weight loss reasons, it's motivational), so when the one month mark rolled around, I took my measurements. Then I did a fair double-take at a certain one of them; according to my previous measurements, I'd been about a B-cup due to gynecomastia, which I'd mostly concealed with being intentionally overweight, and in that short month I'd gone to a C. I wasn't positive I was measuring right, so I promptly marched into Walmart, stared down the bra section, took a deep breath and went back to my car to come home and order one off Amazon. It fit properly. Okay, that's really scary. (Upside: I can jog again, and going down stairs doesn't hurt anymore. yay.)

So, in less than 2 months, I've gone from "alright! now I'm starting to take the steps to get me ready to transition in a year or 3" to getting strange looks, wondering if I should get in touch with HR, and 'showing' through two shirts at work. I know some of this is just all in my mind, that people who don't have any reason to suspect something odd will just chalk up my changed appearance to weight loss and/or rationalize it away somehow. But, still, I'm somewhat worried/nervous about this, and people generally going from "you look better [after your weight loss]" to "you look.. different somehow" is not helping.

tl;dr: Things are moving way faster than I expected, and I don't really know how to react :(
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You say that you disapprove of sex before marriage, but you are fucking that idiot. (Ad hominem.)
You say that you disapprove of sex outside of marriage, but you are fucking your mom. (Ad mominem.)


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