[SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby rath358 » Mon Mar 23, 2015 7:37 pm UTC

Therapists vary. The second time around, I talked through my somewhat nonbinary identity, and my therapist okayed me anyways. A big part of the decision, I think, was that I definitely like the female side more than the male side, so hormones would move me in that direction. I also explained that I was hoping to observe how I reacted to hormones and continue if it felt more right.
Are you moving to NYC or elsewhere?

Quick update about my own progress (spoiler because tangent to the above bit)
Spoiler:
So, I went on half estradiol and full spiro in mid December. Although I haven't been feeling very many differences, I am a lot more calm. The placebo effect and/or knowing that I am making progress has helped, I think. Last week, I went in for my second endo visit. After a brief chat letting them know that I like the progress/haven't had any bad side effects, the rubber-stamped a move up to full e. It was kind of strange because I was expecting them to check my levels and such. But whatever. I will keep an eye out for symptoms of imbalances or something.

After finding out several weeks ago that my step grandfather is probably transphobic, I really haven't done anything about it. I am planning on coming out to my grandmother tonight, and then trying to come up with a strategy for dealing with my grandfather. I am pretty sure she will be supportive, but finding the right words to explain it to her may be challenging. :s
Edit: Thankfully the conversation with my grandma went fine. Hopefully we will work out something anticlimactic for dealing with graduation and visiting

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Sungura » Fri Mar 27, 2015 2:06 am UTC

Finally got rid of my uterus. It never felt like a part of me and caused me lots of pain and ruined a lot of my life. And it's gone now (DaVinci hysterectomy). Yayyyyy! And I live in the south it took a half dozen gynos until I found one to listen. If anyone here is thinking about getting rid of theirs I am happy to answer questions. But otherwise this is just a yay post. :D
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Quercus » Fri Mar 27, 2015 7:34 am UTC

Sungura wrote:Finally got rid of my uterus. It never felt like a part of me and caused me lots of pain and ruined a lot of my life. And it's gone now (DaVinci hysterectomy). Yayyyyy! And I live in the south it took a half dozen gynos until I found one to listen. If anyone here is thinking about getting rid of theirs I am happy to answer questions. But otherwise this is just a yay post. :D

Yayyyy :D ! And you used a friggin robot too, which is awesome. I hope the remainder of your recovery from the surgery goes smoothly. So glad you finally found someone who would do it, because what that organ put you through did not sound fun.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby NovaNatalia » Fri Mar 27, 2015 8:20 am UTC

Congratulations Sungura! :) After all the crap you had to deal with from it, I'm glad it's finally over
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Wolby » Fri Mar 27, 2015 1:23 pm UTC

Sungura wrote:Finally got rid of my uterus. It never felt like a part of me and caused me lots of pain and ruined a lot of my life. And it's gone now (DaVinci hysterectomy). Yayyyyy! And I live in the south it took a half dozen gynos until I found one to listen. If anyone here is thinking about getting rid of theirs I am happy to answer questions. But otherwise this is just a yay post. :D


CONGRATULATIONS!! The miracles of medical technology, eh? (when doctors will finally shut up and listen to us, anyway.)

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby eSOANEM » Sun Mar 29, 2015 12:02 am UTC

Grrr, at a family friend's birthday celebration today and it's the first event I've been to for a long time where almost everyone there is someone I'm not out to. I was not very happy with that. Also, my uni yearbook's started doing it's material-gathering and it's being done by a website where, in order to register for a profile in the yearbook, you need to give a binary gender. I don't know if this will appear in the yearbook or just be on the profile or if it's just a hidden thing on the website. I'm not out to the majority of people in my year but I really don't want to put a binary gender down.

College recently elected it's first gender equality officer (previously the role was mostly done by the women's/female welfare officer and lgbt+ officer) so it's the sort of thing I'd like to raise anonymously with them if there was time, but it's the vacation so there's no way to contact them anonymously and I don't know them in person so don't want to contact them by name. I also don't want to email the guy running the yearbook because I don't really know him and aren't out to him.

Argh. This weekend has not been so great for misgender-y stuff.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Sun Mar 29, 2015 9:53 am UTC

*hugs* if wanted. That's all not very nice :( .
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby WilliamTheConqueror » Tue Mar 31, 2015 3:04 pm UTC

happy trans day of visibility everybody!!! :D :D
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Wonderbolt » Wed Apr 01, 2015 10:18 pm UTC

(Cross-posting from awesome thread because honestly it belongs here too.)

Today is my HRTday!

Exactly a year ago today I took my first hormone and anti-androgen pills, and since then things have improved a lot (though not exactly linearly, obviously). This is a pretty big deal for me, 'cause not only does a full year on HRT show how much has changed and gotten better, but I've also proven to myself that this wasn't just another whimisical thing and that this is actually right for me.

I brought cake. :D

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby poxic » Wed Apr 01, 2015 10:35 pm UTC

Woot!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby NovaNatalia » Thu Apr 02, 2015 6:01 am UTC

Congratulations Wonderbolt! I hope the cake is delicious ^_^

In my own bit of news, legal name change came through! I am now legally Natasha *dances happily*

Edit: And I know I shouldn't celebrate this with an eating disorder and all, but now 85 kg! Losing 100g per day ^.^
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby WilliamTheConqueror » Thu Apr 02, 2015 12:53 pm UTC

Oh me yarm congrats wonderbolt!!! :D :D :D :D
addams wrote:Fucking Nature.

Tomlidich the second wrote:You cannot surgically graft enough middle fingers to my body to express how fed up I am with this.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby rath358 » Mon Apr 13, 2015 5:30 am UTC

Damn. A few days ago, I went to a panel with a couple of producers on transparent. That was pretty cool. Also met a lady who is in about the same place in her transition as me. Woo, transition buddies!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Pfhorrest » Sun Apr 26, 2015 4:43 am UTC

Went out to dinner with my girlfriend tonight, not at all attempting to put on a feminine presentation (though I was wearing a shirt that is technically a dress but it really just looks like a muscle shirt on me, and I had just shaved, but no makeup or jewelry or anything like that), and the waitress immediately addressed us as "you girls". I haven't much of any idea why it happened, but I got a kick out of it. :-D
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Sungura » Sun Apr 26, 2015 8:43 pm UTC

So....spoilered for the awesome and it's a bit long...and I thought everyone would like this. In my opinion, this is the best thing ever and I guess half a brag post about my amazing SO who posted this because there has been so much going around FB lately about LGBTQ rights and things about colors of skin among else and lots of people of course being jerks. We have of course been posting a lot of pro human rights stuff ...and get flack for it, from our "friends" (small worlds for hobbies, people I wouldn't actually call a friend but see/do things with because small world hobbies, mostly). So anyway. One post my SO made on gay rights blew up - a LOT. We got accused of a lot, and of course when you call people out on being bigots they claim you are the bigot (uhm....no.) and I wonder if these people, some who I thought were actually friends but showed their true colors, would be saying the horrible terrible things if they knew about me. So he posted this. You might want some tissues for happy tears handy.

Spoiler:
"I have been informed that some feel I [make provocative posts] "just for the fun of it". On that topic, I have this to say:

Oppression and discrimination is only fun for those doing the oppressing and discriminating. For those on the receiving end, there is nothing fun about it. The discussion must be had, the challenge made, not because it's fun, but because unchallenged oppression will remain unchanged. Someone has to fight for what is right, no matter how unpopular the position.

If someone (a person or collective) seems to make a big deal about something, instead of dismissing them outright, perhaps you should consider that perhaps their situation is not imaginary or trivial. Human rights are no laughing matter, and unjust laws and behaviors must be countered with appropriate resistance.

I understand such threads typically involve two sides with unwavering viewpoints, each side unable to change the mind of the other. But I do not participate in such a discussion for the benefit of the participants. For every participant, there are many silent observers who see the words and actions of both sides play out. Maybe, just maybe, they will consider the words said by both sides in such a discussion, see both viewpoints for what they are, and it helps sharpen their view of the issue, and ultimately they take their own stand for what they believe to be right.

So if you feel I'm just poking a hornet nest for funzies, you are sadly mistaken. I speak because others won't. I speak for those who read and contemplate with an open mind. I speak because it has to be said."

...My SO is cis hetero white male, by the way. We, he even more so, gets accused of being argumentative for the fun of it, too opinionated etc, all the time. No. We, and he is better at it than I am (but I actually deal with crap and run out of strength, where he has privilege, and he knows that) just refuse to put up with unjust behaviors and bigoted ideas. We got accused for using this stuff to poke the hornet nest (yes direct reference there) and just use it to call people out and clear out friends lists, etc. No, that's not why we post such things. But I do thank them for rearing their ugly side so I know who they are and their true beliefs so I can avoid them toxicity in my life! ;)
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Mon Apr 27, 2015 8:43 am UTC

That's a good post!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby CelticNot » Mon Apr 27, 2015 3:43 pm UTC

Sungura wrote:So he posted this.


And an epic post it was. :D I especially like that he pointed out that other people are watching what they say. Maybe it'll make them think twice before they preach hate in the future.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby CelticNot » Mon Apr 27, 2015 3:48 pm UTC

Small updates for myself: I am now officially out to my entire department at work. Nothing but support thus far (and one hopefully-unrelated termination). I'm still waiting for the shoe to drop, but it doesn't seem like it's going to happen here.

Also got a letter from the endocrinologist. My appointment is scheduled for mid-June. A month and a half away... I don't know why I'm not more nervous. I'm actually impatient. I think I've finally overcome my fear of self-delusion; I wouldn't be this eager to go on with the process if I was fooling myself into thinking I was trans, right?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Mon Apr 27, 2015 7:45 pm UTC

Oops I accidentally went to a meeting with people I'm not out to with this T-shirt today Image
Oh well. Most Germans don't know what queer means anyway. And those who do are usually not homophobic.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby mosgi » Wed Apr 29, 2015 10:42 pm UTC

Hmm, update on my gender-y stuff: I'm now pretty damn sure that 'agender' describes me. Still going to have to get used to identifying that way, but there you have it. Yay :D

As for pronouns, well, I'm probably okay with any, with a minor preference for 'he' (due to familiarity more than anything else).
(they pronouns please)

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Pfhorrest » Wed May 13, 2015 1:22 am UTC

I just went for a walk in a dress (an actual full-length dress and nothing else, not one of the ones that just wears like a shirt on me that I have to wear pants with) in broad daylight for no special occasion, no ambiguity at all, no maybe-I'm-just-a-guy-with-weird-taste-in-clothes (like if I wear a long black skirt with one of my renaissance shirts, as I've done once or twice before). I went on a secluded trail hoping to avoid other people. I just wanted to go outside and feel the sun on my shoulders and the breeze billowing and all of that.

It didn't work as well as I had hoped, as I ran into four other people over the course of the hour I was out there, three men and a woman. One man, a jogger, passed by with his dog shortly on my way out, and didn't say anything or look back, just called his dog to not bother me like dog-joggers always do. I was intentionally avoiding eye contact because I was nervous about interacting with people with no excusatory context to fall back on here. (I did start thinking up some kind of made-up excuse about my girlfriend putting me up to a dare and being on my way to meet her or something, just in case I "needed" one). I didn't see anybody else on the way out, and it was a nice walk.

On the way back I passed another man on a bicycle, who just said thanks as I stepped aside to let him pass on the trail. Then I passed another guy on a bike, right as a snake was also crossing the trail, which made be feel very uncomfortable and awkward standing there facing him waiting for the snake to pass so that he could pass so that I could continue on. He seemed much more interested in the snake though, which I pretended to be as well (actually… the snake was pretty cool), and asked me if I know what kind it was, and commented on its coloration, and then wished me a good day and rode on. Finally I passed a woman walking some dogs when I was almost back, and I considered just saying hi in passing as I walked by like I normally would, feeling a little more comfortable both talking to a woman and given the neutral/positive interactions just preceding it, until I realized that with the way the wind was blowing, pressing the dress into me, it could possibly be quite obvious that I was a guy, and that she might find that uncomfortable, so I feigned interest in some convenient industrial ruins on the side of the trail as she passed to turn away from her and the wind. All she said was to call her dogs to not bother me, like dog-walkers always do.

Given the kind of stories I hear from other people online, I get the feeling that I must live in a pretty progressive place.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby NovaNatalia » Wed May 13, 2015 2:25 am UTC

Great work Pfhorrest! It takes a lot of courage to overcome that fear of discrimination :)
As for the horror stories on the internet, remember, people don't usually makes posts of 'I had a day and nothing happened', so you're looking at a very biased sampling towards negative attitudes. If you keep going out, I'm sure you'll find most people are as uninterested as those you encountered — the more you do it, the less scary it becomes, and the less importance you read into any minor body language.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Wolby » Wed May 13, 2015 3:06 pm UTC

Congratulations, Pfhorrest! & here's to many more good experiences!

(I'm moving in the other direction, which has fewer horror stories, but I still remember how unreasonably terrified and excited I was the first time I wore a binder out of my apartment. It does get less scary with time.)

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby CelticNot » Tue May 19, 2015 3:56 pm UTC

Since negative experiences are frequently over-represented, here's some more positive experiences for the board.

Back on Mother's Day, I dressed up quite nice; a new top (blue and short-sleeved w/lots of holes around the shoulders), white shorts, canvas loafers. Curled my hair a bit, put in some hair pins, stud-ring earrings, neutral nail polish, necklace... my lifemate even put some light makeup on me. When all was said and done, I fooled myself into thinking I looked female for a few moments. That was a giddy experience... which paled in comparison to being referred to as a lady not once, but TWICE by waitresses at the steak house we met my family at. And nothing but praise from my folks, too - my mother even said the colour looked good on me. XD

This past weekend, I went down to Calgary with some friends for the anime convention and didn't bring a stitch of male clothing with me. (Well, male tops, anyway; they don't seem to make capris in my size, so I stuck with shorts for now.) Even though I spent most of my time at the convention in cosplay, while out in public in casual wear, I didn't get any odd comments. In fact, we went to a Japanese restaurant and I again passed the waitress test - this was the sort of place that gives out Pocky to the ladies at the table as an after-dinner thing, and I was offered it right off the bat. :D

For the record, I'm 5'11", ~250 lbs., and have broad shoulders and what I would characterize as a rather masculine face; I never expected to pass at all, much less to this degree. I'm starting to think the real-life test is actually doable.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby rath358 » Tue May 19, 2015 5:42 pm UTC

Yay, passing!

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Wolby » Tue May 19, 2015 6:08 pm UTC

Sounds like a great weekend! I've never heard of giving pocky after meals, much less only the women... huh.

I don't know where you're located (Canada?) or what your longterm goals are, but in the US at least, the RLT is no longer required by decent therapists. (Check out the latest version of WPATH standards of care sometime (http://www.wpath.org/site_page.cfm?pk_a ... _menu=1351)---it's actually great, and there's a lot of inclusion for non-binary people and flexible transition paths.) I hear of a lot of people who take anti-androgens and E for a year or more before they start to come out, which makes a year of living in your preferred gender less of a cruel and unusual punishment.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby CelticNot » Tue May 19, 2015 10:19 pm UTC

Wolby wrote:Sounds like a great weekend! I've never heard of giving pocky after meals, much less only the women... huh.


It might just be a gimmick for that particular restaurant. It's not something I've encountered elsewhere, to be honest.

As for the rest of your comment - yes, I live in Canada, specifically in central Alberta. I'm on an anti-androgen (spironolactone), but I don't see the endocrinologist until next month so the rest is still pending. Ironically, I've already come out pretty much everywhere - mostly due to impatience. Time will tell if things get better or worse when the changes start in earnest.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Pfhorrest » Fri May 22, 2015 3:31 am UTC

I ordered a black halter-style bikini top online last week and it came in yesterday. I wore it out like a bra underneath my normal clothes that evening. Felt nice to have something cupping my breasts yet not have to worry about looking too obviously out of place.

Today I discovered that it can be combined with my strapless dress, the latter worn low at the underbust just barely tucking under the band of the new top, to make what looks like an awesome halter-top dress. The band of the strapless dress that would normally go across the top of the chest to hold it up is very slimming when down around my waist instead.

I took two different beautiful nature hikes wearing that outfit tonight, and didn't run into anybody on either of them. It felt great.

If I tuck the skirt into pants and wear one of the dresses-that-looks-like-a-shirt-on-me too, I can wear the whole outfit out under what look like mens clothes, too, so I don't have to feel nervous about people in town near my house seeing me coming and going, and I can even stop and shops and things on the way out or back, and then still have nothing but the dress on when I get out to the mountains and actually go for my walk.

I'd still really love to find a T-shirt dress that's actually knee-length on me, so that I can wear that out and actually have the ambiguity I really want (plausibly just a guy in a really long shirt, possibly a woman in a dress, let people think whatever their first impression is, nothing especially weird for them to notice either way).


On an unrelated note, I saw a person at lunch today (didn't meet them, just saw them elsewhere in the restaurant) who had a differently ambiguous look to them. By all appearances I would think him a guy, both from body shape and style of clothes... except for the neon pink pigtails. I kinda wonder what he was going for there.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Killerofsheep » Fri May 22, 2015 1:38 pm UTC

Happy International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia everybody!
edit: My school celebrated today, but apparently it was on the 17th, sorry for any confusion! Although it would be kinda cool/ironic for it to be on the 22/5 because Deuteronomy 22:5 says something really transphobic.

Also, for those not on twitter, #hometovote is awesome and made me tear up a bit.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Wolby » Fri May 22, 2015 2:17 pm UTC

@ClockworkSky---Ah, cool! Congratulations! Sorry for assuming. :)

@Pfhorrest---Yay! Also, your encounter reminded me of someone I saw recently who had a completely shaved head with a tiny scarlet mohawk, a neon sweater, a purse, pinstripe women's slacks and black heels with rhinestones. I actually left them a craigslist missed connection because seeing them made my day.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby NovaNatalia » Fri May 22, 2015 9:52 pm UTC

Killerofsheep wrote:Happy International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia everybody!
edit: My school celebrated today, but apparently it was on the 17th, sorry for any confusion! Although it would be kinda cool/ironic for it to be on the 22/5 because Deuteronomy 22:5 says something really transphobic.


My university celebrated it on Monday (18th), with the Queer Collective flying the rainbow flag from the flagpole (beside the Australian, Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander flags) and provided a jumping castle for anyone to use, so long as they could name one issue facing queer students that isn't same-sex marriage.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Sun May 24, 2015 9:03 am UTC

provided a jumping castle for anyone to use, so long as they could name one issue facing queer students that isn't same-sex marriage.

Awesomest!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Quercus » Tue May 26, 2015 9:23 am UTC

Yay! A whole page of nice stuff happening to people so far (of course that shouldn't put anyone off posting negative things if negative things happen, it's just that reading this page made me smile :) )

As for me, I posted a little while back that I was starting to explore gender expression and gender identity a bit. So far that's been very low key - wearing brighter colours, deliberately going for colour combinations that look more feminine, wearing slightly more fitted clothes and deliberately raising and softening my voice a little (for avoidance of confusion I have AFAIK one X and one Y chromosome, and have so far in my life identified as male).

Well today I looked in the mirror and, this is difficult to describe, but the feminine features of my face and body appeared much more prominent than I was used to. I hadn't changed, but what I noticed about myself had.

I guess I've always had a fair few "traditionally feminine" characteristics* - long eyelashes, a small nose, "soft" lines to my face, full lips, larger breasts and hips than is usual for a male of my weight and small hands with long slender fingers (as small as or smaller than most of my female friends in fact). That's coupled with some fairly "masculine" features as well - a deep voice, thick dark body hair, a full beard. I'd always given the masculine features more weight in my self-image than the feminine features, until this morning, where they felt equal, sort of balanced, with more emphasis on the feminine if anything.

I liked what I saw. It felt immediately like me, although that having been said, times when I've felt very masculine have also felt like me. I think I've got some more thinking/exploring to do but I'm beginning to suspect that terms like genderfluid might be in my future.

P.S. Just realised that both my names, my "real" first name, and the middle name that I more often go by, are, if not entirely gender-neutral than at least gender-ambiguous, which is convenient.

*In inverted commas because I realise how problematic it is to define gender by physical appearance, and I'm not trying to do that, except in so far that I've found that my physical appearance does relate to my impressions of my own gender.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Pfhorrest » Tue May 26, 2015 7:09 pm UTC

Congrats on (for lack of a better term) finding yourself, Quercus. :-)

I had a bit of a disappointing moment this weekend. I wore my new bikini top underneath my usual clothes when I went down to visit my girlfriend for the weekend. It made her really uncomfortable somehow, to see the tie at the back of the neck and the slightly visible lines of it through my shirt. I don't really understand why, as I hang out in skirts and dresses around the house at my place all the time and she's explicitly said that she doesn't even think anything of that (when I went out full femme for a RHPS show a while back and an old friend there asked her if I dressed like that all the time, and she said no at first, but then realized wait, I do, and it's just so routine she doesn't even notice it). I don't know why a barely-noticable article of clothing underneath my normal (masculine) clothing bothers her so much, but to avoid making an issue out of it I just took it off and left it in my bag all weekend.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby PAstrychef » Wed May 27, 2015 2:53 am UTC

Well, a bra is a more explicitly female piece of clothing, being an undergarment and all. Whatever you are saying with your clothing choices, this one seems to have been a step further than she had thought about before. Probably a good thing to bring up and talk about.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby rath358 » Mon Jun 01, 2015 6:07 am UTC

Blargh. I want to switch over my name on facebook, but their policies make it intimidating.
Ideally i would set it to "Mae (Max) lastname", but punctuation is forbidden and they seemed to have locked down special character shenanigans. Locking in for 2 months certainly doesn't help...

*angst*

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby K-R » Mon Jun 01, 2015 6:37 am UTC

Pretty sure Facebook allows you a 'name other people might know me by' as well as your real name, which appears in parentheses afterwards. So if you set it up that way, it'd be either "Mae [Lastname] (Max)" or "Mae [Lastname] (Max [Lastname])" depending on how you did it. Not sure under which circumstances it displays the alternate name, though.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Mon Jun 01, 2015 9:09 pm UTC

You can set several alternate full names and make one of them show up on the profile. For example I have set these names:
normal full name: Monika Eggers
maiden name: Monika Krug <-- marked this as showing up on the profile
previous name: Monika Reddigan
and it shows up like this: Monika Eggers (Monika Krug).
Maiden and previous name are not the only options, they have also alternate name and nickname.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby rath358 » Tue Jun 02, 2015 1:05 am UTC

i saw those options, but I really wanted to include my old name tastefully in the display name. Facebook doesn't want to allow that, so I just said fuck it and went all the way

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby CelticNot » Tue Jun 02, 2015 6:00 pm UTC

Went shopping for 'a' bra on Friday, and got a little bit carried away... I now have a new wardrobe. Been wearing it to work this week. Yesterday went reasonably well, but I think I still looked too masculine (got misgendered by some fast-food jockeys).

Today I definitely look more feminine, but oh my god I am so self-conscious. See I wore one of those layered deals that's a long kimono-type sleeveless top over what's basically a camisole, and I have never in my life felt so exposed. It's like, women are actually used to showing off their collarbones on a regular basis? HOW?!?!

I'm slowly getting used to it but I think this particular top is going to go in the "dress occasions only" part of the closet; I'm not 100% comfortable wearing this downtown.

(Also the women's washroom is going to take some getting used to.)
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