Spoilered for TWs.
[TW for mentioning of death, suicide in the below text.]
*hugs* Hang in there. Yes, having to wait weeks and months is horrible. But you can do it! Or order hormones and blockers online. Or buy them in a country with low control when you are there on vacation, uni exchange or the like (I heard even Southern and Eastern Europe may work). Or borrow more money and seek private care in the Netherlands or a nearby country. A couple of hundred more Euros for psych appointments, blood tests and hormones are sure a good investment to keep you alive.
Is this clinic and gender team the only one in the Netherlands? It might be, NL is pretty small, but check out if there is another place that you can go to ... having to take the train for 2 hours to and from an appointment sucks, but it doesn't suck as badly as being dead. Try to get on several waiting lists. Keep in mind waiting lists tend to suddenly shorten, exactly because people are on multiple waiting lists, e.g. I waited for a psych appointment, they said 8 months, I got one with the same therapist in 3 months - many people on the waiting list before me had already gotten appointment with other therapists and didn't need this one anymore, but they didn't call all the therapists to let them know they can take them off their waiting list.
Also do other things that alleviates your dysphoria somewhat while you are waiting for hormones. You seem to already have found some stuff, like shaving off all your body hair. Try some things and figure out what else helps you feel a bit better, like painting toe or finger nails, nice clothes or some jewelry, or maybe a wig or a padded bra is something that works for you. You have to decide yourself if you only want to wear them at home or if you feel comfortable and safe going other places, some time or all the time.
And keep posting here and/or in other places and/or come to the chat - #xkcd-q has a lot of other trans women, who can give you encouragement.
It seems to be that for many dysphoria comes in waves, going up and down, so even if you feel really bad today and like you cannot stand this for more than 4 more months, in those months there will probably also be days in which you don't feel the dysphoria so much. So hang on and keep going, you will get there!