[SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby The EGE » Sun Oct 31, 2010 9:00 pm UTC

poxic wrote:There's an issue of AVENues up on the front page of AVEN, first one since 2008 or so. Link to the current issue (PDF alert):
https://docs.google.com/uc?export=downl ... RkZDU1YjRm

I had a read through it. Good interview with David Jay, the site founder, and some musings on whether Sherlock Holmes (as portrayed in the current BBC series) might be asexual. It's mostly just ... a little strange to be reading a newsletter/magazine that is actually *about me*, more or less. o.O


I believe they've been airing that on PBS, a few episodes at least. I've seen one, and I could definitely believe the asexuality angle. It's strange (and unfortunate) that to have a character on television that has no sexual interest is rare.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Sarr » Mon Nov 01, 2010 5:58 am UTC

Alright, I've been thinking about making this post for a few days now, and I've finally worked up the courage to do it. Standard "if anyone knows me in real life, please stay out" clause applies.

Spoiler:
I am confused. Really really confused. With that said, I'll start at the beginning.

Basically, as long as I've been growing up, I've wondered what it would be like to be female. I think such thoughts are fairly normal, but mine quickly went from curious to wistful. I tried not to think about them too much, but they were always sorta there. Around the time I hit puberty, I began to realize that I was bisexual. It took a bit of getting used to, but I just accepted it as who I was and moved on. Then, somewhere along the lines, I discovered cross-dressing. I experimented with it a fair bit, but never had the courage to leave my attic while dressed up.

Anyway, sometime in the past year I slowly realized that I would rather have been born female. Due to a bunch of different things, really, but I still considered myself pretty-much male in gender. At this point, I'd actually wondered a few times if I was transgender, but it never felt quite right before, so I put it out of my head and moved on. But basically since I've been at college (maybe a week or two before I moved down, really) I have begun to ponder if I am trans much more thoroughly. For some reason something was beginning to click that never had before. This was sorta happening subconsciously until we were doing an activity during orientation called "cross the line". The entire group stands in a line, silently. People ask questions and if you would answer yes, you walk forwards, turn around, and then return to the line. The very first question was "are you a woman", and I had to literally force myself not to walk forwards. This was a little over two months ago at this point, and I've been slowly starting to put things together.

At this point, I'm really really confused. I've told two of my best friends that I'm questioning, and they've reacted fairly positively. I'm still trying to wrap my head around things, however. On the one hand, it feels right when I say "I'm a woman," but on the other hand, I'm still trying to figure out what that even means. What really separates a woman from a man? If I'm the same person I've always been, why is this happening now when it didn't before? It probably doesn't help that I'm still sorta-kinda-maybe in a relationship with one of the people I've told about this. I've also thought about how difficult it would be to tell everyone in my life about this if it does turn out that I'm trans, and I'm afraid of how they'd react.

Basically, tl;dr, I'm really confused right now and I just needed to put this somewhere. I know some of you have been through this, and while I doubt you have my answers maybe you can start me on the right path to finding them? Or just give hugs? Hugs would be nice, right about now.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Aaeriele » Mon Nov 01, 2010 6:28 am UTC

Sarr wrote:
Spoiler:
stuff that was spoilered


*lots and lots of hugs*
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Josephine » Mon Nov 01, 2010 6:55 am UTC

Sarr wrote:
Spoiler:
I am confused. Really really confused. With that said, I'll start at the beginning.

Basically, as long as I've been growing up, I've wondered what it would be like to be female. I think such thoughts are fairly normal, but mine quickly went from curious to wistful. I tried not to think about them too much, but they were always sorta there. Around the time I hit puberty, I began to realize that I was bisexual. It took a bit of getting used to, but I just accepted it as who I was and moved on. Then, somewhere along the lines, I discovered cross-dressing. I experimented with it a fair bit, but never had the courage to leave my attic while dressed up.

Anyway, sometime in the past year I slowly realized that I would rather have been born female. Due to a bunch of different things, really, but I still considered myself pretty-much male in gender. At this point, I'd actually wondered a few times if I was transgender, but it never felt quite right before, so I put it out of my head and moved on. But basically since I've been at college (maybe a week or two before I moved down, really) I have begun to ponder if I am trans much more thoroughly. For some reason something was beginning to click that never had before. This was sorta happening subconsciously until we were doing an activity during orientation called "cross the line". The entire group stands in a line, silently. People ask questions and if you would answer yes, you walk forwards, turn around, and then return to the line. The very first question was "are you a woman", and I had to literally force myself not to walk forwards. This was a little over two months ago at this point, and I've been slowly starting to put things together.

At this point, I'm really really confused. I've told two of my best friends that I'm questioning, and they've reacted fairly positively. I'm still trying to wrap my head around things, however. On the one hand, it feels right when I say "I'm a woman," but on the other hand, I'm still trying to figure out what that even means. What really separates a woman from a man? If I'm the same person I've always been, why is this happening now when it didn't before? It probably doesn't help that I'm still sorta-kinda-maybe in a relationship with one of the people I've told about this. I've also thought about how difficult it would be to tell everyone in my life about this if it does turn out that I'm trans, and I'm afraid of how they'd react.

Basically, tl;dr, I'm really confused right now and I just needed to put this somewhere. I know some of you have been through this, and while I doubt you have my answers maybe you can start me on the right path to finding them? Or just give hugs? Hugs would be nice, right about now.

Trust me, you're well understood by a lot of people here. *hugs*
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Jessica » Mon Nov 01, 2010 4:53 pm UTC

Sarr wrote:
Spoiler:
I am confused. Really really confused. With that said, I'll start at the beginning.

Basically, as long as I've been growing up, I've wondered what it would be like to be female. I think such thoughts are fairly normal, but mine quickly went from curious to wistful. I tried not to think about them too much, but they were always sorta there. Around the time I hit puberty, I began to realize that I was bisexual. It took a bit of getting used to, but I just accepted it as who I was and moved on. Then, somewhere along the lines, I discovered cross-dressing. I experimented with it a fair bit, but never had the courage to leave my attic while dressed up.

Anyway, sometime in the past year I slowly realized that I would rather have been born female. Due to a bunch of different things, really, but I still considered myself pretty-much male in gender. At this point, I'd actually wondered a few times if I was transgender, but it never felt quite right before, so I put it out of my head and moved on. But basically since I've been at college (maybe a week or two before I moved down, really) I have begun to ponder if I am trans much more thoroughly. For some reason something was beginning to click that never had before. This was sorta happening subconsciously until we were doing an activity during orientation called "cross the line". The entire group stands in a line, silently. People ask questions and if you would answer yes, you walk forwards, turn around, and then return to the line. The very first question was "are you a woman", and I had to literally force myself not to walk forwards. This was a little over two months ago at this point, and I've been slowly starting to put things together.

At this point, I'm really really confused. I've told two of my best friends that I'm questioning, and they've reacted fairly positively. I'm still trying to wrap my head around things, however. On the one hand, it feels right when I say "I'm a woman," but on the other hand, I'm still trying to figure out what that even means. What really separates a woman from a man? If I'm the same person I've always been, why is this happening now when it didn't before? It probably doesn't help that I'm still sorta-kinda-maybe in a relationship with one of the people I've told about this. I've also thought about how difficult it would be to tell everyone in my life about this if it does turn out that I'm trans, and I'm afraid of how they'd react.

Basically, tl;dr, I'm really confused right now and I just needed to put this somewhere. I know some of you have been through this, and while I doubt you have my answers maybe you can start me on the right path to finding them? Or just give hugs? Hugs would be nice, right about now.
*hugs*
Really, don't worry about labels right now. Best thing to do is explore. Knowing if you're trans, a woman, a man, whatever isn't as important as being happy. Of course that's a silly platitude. But know that I understand your feelings :)
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby podbaydoor » Mon Nov 01, 2010 5:28 pm UTC

Pastor of a Megachurch comes out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wbWjZ37XVA
The pastor of a Rockdale County megachurch has publicly announced he is gay.
Jim Swilley, bishop of Conyers' Church in the Now, said he hopes his coming out will change attitudes toward homosexuality.
tenet |ˈtenit|
noun
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Shivahn » Mon Nov 01, 2010 5:54 pm UTC

*hugs for Sarr*

That's pretty neat, PodBay. Especially since it wasn't attached to a scandal and he admits it, rather than denying himself. Cool stuff.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby a_fuzzyduck » Tue Nov 02, 2010 1:58 am UTC

*adds to Sarr's hugpile; hopes there's no asphyxiation*
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Sarr » Tue Nov 02, 2010 5:55 am UTC

Thanks guys. Just to know that I'm not alone in this is a really good feeling. I'll try not to stress so much about labels and getting philosophical about it, and just live my life.

Also, as to the hugs pile, there are quite simply never enough hugs. Asphyxiation can go bugger off.
Last edited by Sarr on Tue Nov 02, 2010 5:58 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Aaeriele » Tue Nov 02, 2010 5:57 am UTC

Sarr wrote:Thanks guys. Just to know that I'm not alone in this is a really good feeling. I'll try not to stress so much about labels and getting philosophical about it, and just live my life.


And also keep in mind that it's fine to experiment with labels, to explore how or what they might mean for you - the key thing is to remember that when it comes to gender, you own the labels, not the other way around. Labels are a tool for exploring yourself, not a limitation.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Bassoon » Wed Nov 03, 2010 12:34 am UTC

Not to cause anyone undue stress or anything, but I'm really dreading these elections. I hope there isn't too big of a backward slide for LGBT rights...

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby pheonixduprese » Wed Nov 03, 2010 1:13 am UTC

Considering the "REMOVE ACTIVIST JUDGES!" campaign that went across Iowa... the outlook is NOT good.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Bassoon » Wed Nov 03, 2010 4:27 am UTC

Wisconsin went red. Walker for governor and Johnson for senator.

Feingold got a 90% from HRC. Johnson opposes gay marriage. I hate this state. :cry:

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Bakemaster » Wed Nov 03, 2010 5:46 am UTC

Bassoon wrote:Not to cause anyone undue stress or anything, but I'm really dreading these electrons.

>_>

I... I need to sleep.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Cynwulf » Wed Nov 03, 2010 7:08 am UTC

Bassoon wrote:Wisconsin went red. Walker for governor and Johnson for senator.

Feingold got a 90% from HRC. Johnson opposes gay marriage. I hate this state. :cry:

Come to California. We are bankrupt, fiscally and otherwise, and welcome all fresh meat newbies! In fact, we went blue in the election. Retained Senator Boxer (who I don't like, actually) and elected Jerry Brown aka Governor Moonbeam. This state has its share of major problems, but it is very nice that in general no one here cares how you live your personal life.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Nordic Einar » Wed Nov 03, 2010 2:46 pm UTC

There goes DADT and DOMA repeals, as well as any hope of passing ENDA. Or any other GLBT friendly bill. Fantastic.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Jessica » Wed Nov 03, 2010 3:31 pm UTC

Well, I still hope that bill C-389 in Canada will pass. It's gone back to the house for another reading, after passing committee. Yay for gender identity protection in the charter!

*fingers crossed*

I wish my MP would vote for it... he said he wouldn't when I emailed him.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby TheGrammarBolshevik » Wed Nov 03, 2010 7:32 pm UTC

Harrumph. Our Queer Resource Center, which has no institutional funding and very little visibility among the student body (it was not, for example, mentioned in any of my freshman orientation materials), isn't able to put a sign up outside because the Cambridge Historical Commission has the power to override the concerns of actual living students in order to make the campus look older. Because the college was clearly founded as a historical monument to itself.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby GraphiteGirl » Thu Nov 04, 2010 12:15 am UTC

Could they make a ye olde style sign?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby doogly » Thu Nov 04, 2010 1:23 am UTC

With lewd scenes from Greek pottery!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Van » Thu Nov 04, 2010 3:39 am UTC

I never thought I'd be this happy to be compared to some man-eating, soul-devouring, satan-worshiping, evil whore that a guy used to know. :shock:
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Aaeriele » Thu Nov 04, 2010 4:16 am UTC

Van wrote:I never thought I'd be this happy to be compared to some man-eating, soul-devouring, satan-worshiping, evil whore that a guy used to know. :shock:


@_@

Context?
Vaniver wrote:Harvard is a hedge fund that runs the most prestigious dating agency in the world, and incidentally employs famous scientists to do research.

afuzzyduck wrote:ITS MEANT TO BE FLUTTERSHY BUT I JUST SEE AAERIELE! CURSE YOU FORA!

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Josephine » Thu Nov 04, 2010 4:18 am UTC

Aaeriele wrote:
Van wrote:I never thought I'd be this happy to be compared to some man-eating, soul-devouring, satan-worshiping, evil whore that a guy used to know. :shock:


@_@

Context?

facerity thread
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Aaeriele » Thu Nov 04, 2010 4:21 am UTC

nbonaparte wrote:
Aaeriele wrote:
Van wrote:I never thought I'd be this happy to be compared to some man-eating, soul-devouring, satan-worshiping, evil whore that a guy used to know. :shock:


@_@

Context?

facerity thread


Oh right, just saw that.

lol
Vaniver wrote:Harvard is a hedge fund that runs the most prestigious dating agency in the world, and incidentally employs famous scientists to do research.

afuzzyduck wrote:ITS MEANT TO BE FLUTTERSHY BUT I JUST SEE AAERIELE! CURSE YOU FORA!

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Jessica » Thu Nov 04, 2010 3:45 pm UTC

Heh. Yeah. That was pretty funny.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby sje46 » Thu Nov 04, 2010 4:27 pm UTC

I found a blog post you guys may find interesting.

http://nerdyapplebottom.com/2010/11/02/my-son-is-gay/

EDIT: the title "My son is gay" is very misleading, and kinda stupid, as it has nothing to do with the kid actually being gay. It's about how her five year old son dressed up as Daphne (from Scooby Doo) for Halloween, and how other parents thought she was a bad parent for allowing this.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby sophyturtle » Thu Nov 04, 2010 4:54 pm UTC

I just saw that! I now love that song wicked hard.

Edit: I seem to combine things in my mind. That and this got mixed in my mind.

I am glad that gender roles are being pushed. They need to be. I am still hopeful. I think things are getting better.
I want to get to a place where I am neither conforming nor rebelling but simply being.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Shivahn » Thu Nov 04, 2010 7:01 pm UTC

sophyturtle wrote:I just saw that! I now love that song wicked hard.

Edit: I seem to combine things in my mind. That and this got mixed in my mind.

I am glad that gender roles are being pushed. They need to be. I am still hopeful. I think things are getting better.


That song's pretty awesome. Pretty really awesome.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Jessica » Thu Nov 04, 2010 7:29 pm UTC

Awesome blog post!

I'm also glad that the child wasn't bullied at school other than by the mothers (at least I hope not, because if he had been I assume it would have come out in the post).

Also yay for pink!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby pheonixduprese » Thu Nov 04, 2010 10:50 pm UTC

Bassoon wrote:Wisconsin went red. Walker for governor and Johnson for senator.

Feingold got a 90% from HRC. Johnson opposes gay marriage. I hate this state. :cry:


My whole state is being overrun by Republicans! Just curious, but what IS their argument for traditional marriage?

:(
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Wyvern » Thu Nov 04, 2010 11:54 pm UTC

I can attest to kids themselves being pretty accepting. Often times at work (which is around kids, grade school age) I'll be pretty gender-bendy. And do you know what happens? Coworkers sometimes look a bit uneasy, for a few minutes tops. Kids though, are curious. Just curious. And they're generally not afraid to ask their honest questions, so they do, and I give them honest answers. ("Why are your nails so long?" "I like them like that. They're pretty.")

And the look on their faces. You know what a little kid looks like when they're trying to figure out a math problem in their head? Just like that. You can almost see the new connections flaring off. Sometimes what's even more entertaining is when they go "But you're supposed to be/act like this!" and I just respond with a "But I don't like/don't want to act like that. That's not me at all." Then you get to have fun watching the gears in their head churn.

But really, it's only a day or two before they're used to it. They're used to me being pretty different by the day. I don't worry about kids. I worry about parents and the school administration. (I did get a comment form a parent today, except it was a compliment! she liked the way I put my hair up. It felt so good to hear that, especially considering what I'm usually expecting.)

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Aaeriele » Fri Nov 05, 2010 8:48 am UTC

pheonixduprese wrote:Just curious, but what IS their argument for traditional marriage?

:(


"That's the way it 'should' be."


In other words, they don't really have one.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Shivahn » Fri Nov 05, 2010 3:46 pm UTC

Aaeriele wrote:
pheonixduprese wrote:Just curious, but what IS their argument for traditional marriage?

:(


"That's the way it 'should' be."


In other words, they don't really have one.


There are a lot of arguments.

They just all rely on vague notions of things that don't stand up to scrutiny and have consequences they don't realize.

So yes, there aren't any good ones.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Osha » Fri Nov 05, 2010 5:49 pm UTC

Shivahn wrote:
Aaeriele wrote:
pheonixduprese wrote:Just curious, but what IS their argument for traditional marriage?

:(


"That's the way it 'should' be."


In other words, they don't really have one.


There are a lot of arguments.

They just all rely on vague notions of things that don't stand up to scrutiny and have consequences they don't realize.

So yes, there aren't any good ones.


  • Think of the children!
  • I have 10,000 SCIENCE STUDIES here saying X and Y and Z [fails to cite a single study, or points to a study about something completely unrelated]
  • Kids need both a mother and a father to be a well adjusted straight cis member of society.
  • Every society that became OK with gay marriage / gay people has been ruined in a matter of decades!
  • Gay people can still marry people of the opposite gender! Asking for gay marriage is looking for SPECIAL RIGHTS.
  • Marriage is all about children, gay people can't have children so I don't want my tax money going to that.
  • It's not what god intended. Gay people are going against God's design for them
  • Once gay marriage is legalized, they'll start talking about it in schools, they're already talking about it in schools! And I don't want my 9 year old hearing about that at such a young age.
  • Legalizing gay marriage goes against separation of church and state. They'll force churches to marry gay people! [completely ignores religions that celebrate marrying anyone despite gender]
  • Ewwwwwww

That should be all the big ones... but I'm sure I missed some.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby SecondTalon » Fri Nov 05, 2010 6:00 pm UTC

Also ignores that churches today can and do refuse to marry certain men and women for various slights to their faith.

But you forgot the Most Important Bestest Argument Ever

    We've Always Done It This Way. It's Tradition!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Aaeriele » Fri Nov 05, 2010 6:12 pm UTC

Vaniver wrote:Harvard is a hedge fund that runs the most prestigious dating agency in the world, and incidentally employs famous scientists to do research.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Jessica » Fri Nov 05, 2010 8:04 pm UTC

Oh, you forgot another one...

If you let the gays get married, next you'll have people marrying cats and babies and people having 50 wives!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby SecondTalon » Fri Nov 05, 2010 8:11 pm UTC

...though the theory of the last one (Multiple people all marrying each other) is something I can get behind, the usual practice (One dude with multiple women who are usually treated as servants at best) I cannot.
heuristically_alone wrote:I want to write a DnD campaign and play it by myself and DM it myself.
heuristically_alone wrote:I have been informed that this is called writing a book.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby viscusanima » Fri Nov 05, 2010 8:12 pm UTC

SecondTalon wrote:...though the theory of the last one (Multiple people all marrying each other) is something I can get behind, the usual practice (One dude with multiple women who are usually treated as servants at best) I cannot.


Yeah, polyamoury is cool. Polygyny isn't.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby SecondTalon » Fri Nov 05, 2010 8:16 pm UTC

..depending on the circumstances. I'm sure there's several successful relationships involving two women and one man in which everyone's on equal footing in the relationship. Granted, I haven't seen one, but I'm not going to rule it out as.. it's probably something not many people would discuss openly. "Yeah, I live with Tom. Sure, he's married to Alice, but we're practically married anyway. No, Alice is fine with it. No, we don't.. ew.. have three ways. God. Nevermind, forget I said anything."

Ah, I'll shaddap now. We all should know what we all meant and I'll stop arguing the point.
heuristically_alone wrote:I want to write a DnD campaign and play it by myself and DM it myself.
heuristically_alone wrote:I have been informed that this is called writing a book.


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