[SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby michaelandjimi » Fri May 28, 2010 11:53 pm UTC

Van, you see the other people in the transition groups in a very trans-friendly environment. I bet they look at you and think "Wow, she's really got it together through this. I hope I can handle it as well as she does", because, just like you, they get to see exactly when they encounter obstacles and almost give up, or feel doubt about the whole thing.

Feeling crappy about the whole thing every so often doesn't make you not brave. It makes you braver, because you have so many opportunities to give up and yet you still don't. An action hero who dispatches enemies day in and day out is nowhere near as brave as an average person who's never taken a fighting course in their life and still stands up to a mugger. And even if the other people are in worse situations and taking it better, that doesn't cancel out your bravery. You are braver than I am. You're braver than a good portion of the general public.

And transitioning is hardly selfish. Is it selfish for a poor person to want to live with shelter and money? Is it selfish for a disabled person to take physical therapy? I'd say it's more selfish not to do it, as you're depriving them of interacting with the real you - they're merely interacting with a facade. It is the responsibility of others to not be jerkfaces - they don't have any sort of right to have the world around them remain the same.

So yeah. You're biased against yourself because you get to see every moment that you falter. Truly you are strong, and you can, and have, dealt with this shit, yo.

Good luck with being official now! It's an exciting time and you know it.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Aaeriele » Sat May 29, 2010 2:00 am UTC

Van wrote:Christ. That's actually sort of... clarifying? having it laid out like that. I think I have some issues. Edit: I just realized I never said what I hit reply for in the first place: thank you. Even if I don't seem like I agree at all, your commentary and well-wishing did make me feel better :(


For what it's worth...

...thank you in return. Just being willing/able to post your stories here as you go through stuff, helps others (I know it helps me) build confidence in our own lives. The ups, the downs, whatever - it's nice just to know that there are others out there dealing with the same kind of things, irregardless of severity or situation.

<3.


As an aside... I got ma'am-d for the first time the other day. In a Home Depot, of all places. It was a little exciting.
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afuzzyduck wrote:ITS MEANT TO BE FLUTTERSHY BUT I JUST SEE AAERIELE! CURSE YOU FORA!

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Amie » Sat May 29, 2010 8:35 am UTC

Van, I can only imagine what you've gone through. And believe me when I tell you this, you're taking it a lot better than I would have. What is being "brave" anyway? Not flinching when you go though emotionally horrid shitty stuff? Um, no. You're sticking to you choices despite all of this. You've cried, you've had sleepless nights and you've faced shitty people who are inconsiderate but at the end of the day, you've won. You've made progress with yourself.

Also, the fact that you think you have it "easy" (even if you use that term relatively) is being... brave. I've been staring at this screen for quite a while too thinking what other word to use, but there's only that one that fits.

Circumstances can be sad sometimes but you're pulling through fine. Maybe now you won't realize that but years later when you look back on this, you're gonna say to yourself... I was okay. Also, thank you too. Talking to people like you reminds me that there is still sanity left in this world.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Jessica » Sat May 29, 2010 4:28 pm UTC

I know how you feel Van. I have a job a trained monkey can do. i'm terrified of how people will see me. My problems are all tiny, and everyone else's are huge.

But, you'll be able to get through. I know you can, because I know I can. Sometimes at least.

It's hard.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Cloud Walker » Sat May 29, 2010 9:47 pm UTC

So has anyone here seen this?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Esperite » Sun May 30, 2010 3:53 am UTC

=D Awesome! (That is really amazing. I feel really really good right now!)
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Van » Sun May 30, 2010 2:18 pm UTC

I've been really busy with work the last few days, so I haven't had time to get a proper reply up. I've got an urge to spoiler this 'cause I feel like I've already "wasted" enough of the thread, but I'm trying to take your advices to heart.

michaelandjimi wrote:Feeling crappy about the whole thing every so often doesn't make you not brave. It makes you braver, because you have so many opportunities to give up and yet you still don't. An action hero who dispatches enemies day in and day out is nowhere near as brave as an average person who's never taken a fighting course in their life and still stands up to a mugger. And even if the other people are in worse situations and taking it better, that doesn't cancel out your bravery. You are braver than I am. You're braver than a good portion of the general public.

And transitioning is hardly selfish. Is it selfish for a poor person to want to live with shelter and money? Is it selfish for a disabled person to take physical therapy? I'd say it's more selfish not to do it, as you're depriving them of interacting with the real you - they're merely interacting with a facade. It is the responsibility of others to not be jerkfaces - they don't have any sort of right to have the world around them remain the same.
Eesh. I don't think giving up is/was an option. The only possible results from that would be not transitioning (no.) or suicide. Does being backed into a corner and having no where to go except forward make it brave?

I sort of realize that my standards/opinions about myself are biased and illogical, if only because I'd never apply any of them to anyone else. At the same time though, trying to apply yours (and what my friends have told me) doesn't jive either. I know it should be okay to be upset and cry and maybe even be slightlyhorrifyingly scared of doing things, and if anyone I knew said they were, I'd tell them it was completely fine. I feel this very strong need, not to just transition and have a good and happy life, but to do anything I can to try and make sure no one ever has to suffer the years of pain that trying to stay in the closet and not transition usually entails. I honestly don't think I can have the former (happiness) without the latter.

The problem is that I've made good strides on my transition, but that's about it. I haven't really done much to better myself outside of that, which means I'm still in a position that I can't help to any degree. I volunteered at the local trans conference this year, and I'll do so again for Pride, but that's about the best I can muster at the moment. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that I need to just accept that "being selfish" and taking time for myself is, in the end, doing the most good at the moment, as it will hopefully put me in a better position for later.

michaelandjimi wrote:So yeah. You're biased against yourself because you get to see every moment that you falter. Truly you are strong, and you can, and have, dealt with this shit, yo.
I reaaallly wanted to reply to this, because that seemed to really drive it home. My brain just went "oh. huh. that makes sense, okay then." So... thanks for wording it in just the right way to penetrate my deathstar-like cranial defense against sound advice :D

To everyone else: You're all crazyOkay, there's too many of you in agreement for me to just write it off, so I guess I'll begrudgingly have to believe you. Which means... :oops: Thank you. I really will try to take this to heart and not beat myself up about things anymore. I've got this 'mental strategy' for lack of a better term, where I try to not fall back into a pit I've already built a ladder to climb out of (woo analogy!), admittedly it's had a 100% failure rate so far, but I think it's a noble goal worth continuing to try for. Again, thank you.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Bassoon » Sun May 30, 2010 8:50 pm UTC

Van wrote:Eesh. I don't think giving up is/was an option. The only possible results from that would be not transitioning (no.) or suicide. Does being backed into a corner and having no where to go except forward make it brave?


Yes, because your other option would have been to stay in the corner and not accept who you are. There are plenty of people who do that, but you have the courage to stand up and accept who you are. You have taken steps to feel comfortable in your own skin, which everybody should have the right to do.

*hugs*, Van. You've come so far and I'm really proud of you.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby PM 2Ring » Mon May 31, 2010 12:05 am UTC

Cloud Walker wrote:So has anyone here seen this?

Wow! That's great news!

Speaking of Pride, there's a bit of anti-Pride sentiment in this thread. Anyone want to contribute?

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Aaeriele » Tue Jun 01, 2010 1:42 am UTC

PM 2Ring wrote:Speaking of Pride, there's a bit of anti-Pride sentiment in this thread. Anyone want to contribute?


I've contributed, although so far the individual in question seems to have decided to just completely ignore my posts.
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afuzzyduck wrote:ITS MEANT TO BE FLUTTERSHY BUT I JUST SEE AAERIELE! CURSE YOU FORA!

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Zohar » Tue Jun 01, 2010 7:18 pm UTC

During the weekend seminar we had for the instructors of the gay groups we did a lip dub of an Israeli song. So uh, you won't understand any of the words but you can see me for a little bit at the end. It may not be the most professionally made video but it was tons of fun. :)
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Amie » Tue Jun 01, 2010 7:48 pm UTC

^ Totally awesome. Caught you grinning behind in the white tee :P
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Aaeriele » Wed Jun 02, 2010 9:46 pm UTC

Most of the people in this thread are either incredibly uninformed or really have no experience to base anything off of...

(Trigger Warning)
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/ ... nsgendered


....qweqwkekjskwe.
Vaniver wrote:Harvard is a hedge fund that runs the most prestigious dating agency in the world, and incidentally employs famous scientists to do research.

afuzzyduck wrote:ITS MEANT TO BE FLUTTERSHY BUT I JUST SEE AAERIELE! CURSE YOU FORA!

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Kewangji » Wed Jun 02, 2010 10:44 pm UTC

*hugs for Aaeriele*
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby TheGrammarBolshevik » Thu Jun 03, 2010 12:03 am UTC

Image
Nothing rhymes with orange,
Not even sporange.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Esperite » Thu Jun 03, 2010 1:11 am UTC

Slight tangent: Is that picture from DotA (the MS Paint Rage thread)? It reminds me of that, and another forumite on DotA would be cool =).

Back to topic.
I've gotten serious about clothes shopping now, and I've got about 5 things picked out right now. Tommorrow I'm probably gonna replace a skirt and look for clearance deals, but after that I'll order everything and it should go well.
I plan on buying (as of right now)


So, if anyone has thoughts or suggestions or comments or anything let me know. I'm excited about this =). Also, summer is coming up (School ends next Friday woohoo!) so I'm gonna start focusing on transitioning over the summer (or at least that's my plan) so once school stops I plan on waiting a day or so then getting a voice practice video online and start getting a female voice, and I'll work on coming out to my friends. Right now I'm debating whether I should try to tell them sooner (to go through the process with support from them), or if I should wait until I'm more comfortable as a girl (to have more confidence and make that process easier). I'll probably make that judgement when it comes up, but that's what I'm thinking about now. (Although I have the sneaking suspicion I'll be telling them later on because I'm such a horrible procrastinator... XD)

Whenever I think about all this stuff though, I just continually realize how incredibly lucky I am. I'm being raised in a very open-minded and accepting family, my friends are all great people who are also very open-minded and accepting, and I've been lucky enough to be born in the era of the internet with forums such as these, with even more awesome accepting people! So I can empathize when others say that they feel bad identifying with the TG group without going through struggles, since I haven't really had too many struggles :D
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Aaeriele » Thu Jun 03, 2010 7:59 am UTC

Esperite wrote:Back to topic.
I've gotten serious about clothes shopping now, and I've got about 5 things picked out right now. Tommorrow I'm probably gonna replace a skirt and look for clearance deals, but after that I'll order everything and it should go well.
I plan on buying (as of right now)



I really like the first top, although I'd personally probably go with black instead of white - white's a pain to keep clean, and I don't really like the contrast with the black belt quite as much for the white (but that's just me).
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Jessica » Thu Jun 03, 2010 2:55 pm UTC

I hate how the general internet public (read: boys aged 13 to 19) have no idea about trans people. It fucking sucks.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Osha » Thu Jun 03, 2010 6:38 pm UTC

Aaeriele wrote:Most of the people in this thread are either incredibly uninformed or really have no experience to base anything off of...

(Trigger Warning)
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/ ... nsgendered


....qweqwkekjskwe.
TheGrammarBolshevik wrote:
Spoiler:
Image
About sums up my reaction. --^

It stinks but the internet is full of these kinds of privileged people. Who have probably never met an (out) trans person in real life, don't think about trans people as actual people (as opposed to TV stereotypes), and who don't even think before spouting off nonsense. A few might grow up someday, but most of them will probably stay in their privileged shells >:(
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Jessica » Thu Jun 03, 2010 6:48 pm UTC

can't see the image...
doogly wrote:On a scale of Mr Rogers to Fascism, how mean do you think we're being?
Belial wrote:My goal is to be the best brain infection any of you have ever had.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Osha » Thu Jun 03, 2010 7:16 pm UTC

The image is basically a mspaint style drawing of: "D:< Fuuuuuuuuuuuu-"

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Jessica » Thu Jun 03, 2010 7:35 pm UTC

Ah, good ol Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuu~
doogly wrote:On a scale of Mr Rogers to Fascism, how mean do you think we're being?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Josephine » Thu Jun 03, 2010 7:52 pm UTC

Esperite: the Fuuuuuuuuuu image is another 4chan derivative.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Lumpy » Thu Jun 03, 2010 8:19 pm UTC

I've been practicing my voice for about an hour today, and I started on enunciation a few days ago. What the exercise video told me to do was use my arm as a "conductor" for controlling lilting in my voice. Here are some samples I made using that technique with random sentences off the top of my head.

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/3571323/060310.wav
http://dl.dropbox.com/u/3571323/060310-2.wav

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Esperite » Thu Jun 03, 2010 8:44 pm UTC

I figured it was something like that. I just thought of the thread "MS Paint Rage Thread" on a videogame forum. Reminded me of it.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby tentacleTherapist » Fri Jun 04, 2010 12:14 am UTC

That forum thread earlier is just...ugh.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby H.E.L.e.N. » Fri Jun 04, 2010 11:17 am UTC


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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Aaeriele » Sun Jun 06, 2010 1:49 am UTC

H.E.L.e.N. wrote:Sir Ian McKellan, Everyone.


Someone had linked that to me a few days ago on Facebook. Go Gandalf. :3
Vaniver wrote:Harvard is a hedge fund that runs the most prestigious dating agency in the world, and incidentally employs famous scientists to do research.

afuzzyduck wrote:ITS MEANT TO BE FLUTTERSHY BUT I JUST SEE AAERIELE! CURSE YOU FORA!

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Shivahn » Sun Jun 06, 2010 2:05 am UTC

H.E.L.e.N. wrote:Sir Ian McKellan, Everyone.


He is a pretty nifty dude. And that's such an awesome shot.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby EmilyR » Sun Jun 06, 2010 8:44 am UTC

Jessica wrote:I hate how the general internet public (read: boys aged 13 to 19) have no idea about trans people anything.


Fixed :)

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby michaelandjimi » Sun Jun 06, 2010 11:36 am UTC

EmilyR wrote:
Jessica wrote:I hate how the general internet public (read: boys aged 13 to 19) have no idea about trans people anything.
Fixed :)
Hey now. See if you can guess my age. And gender.

Also that picture of Sir Ian McKellen makes me smile every time I see it. Which is a surprising amount.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Zohar » Sun Jun 06, 2010 11:37 am UTC

According to your top hat and mustache I would guess you are a 50-year old male. Also, a cat.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Esperite » Wed Jun 09, 2010 1:05 am UTC

34 year old male with incredible fashion is my guess =P.

Anyway, summer is coming up (only 3 more days of school!), so I'm planning on kicking my transition to high speed. I'm really hoping that I can go to my senior year of highschool as a girl, and to do that I need to organize everything about my transition this year. I plan to tell my good friend in a week or two, with more friends following that. Eventually I'm just gonna put it up on facebook as my status such as:

Status: $myname is having a sex change and is now a girl! Please call me @newname from now on! If you have questions PLEASE feel free to message me, even if it seems really stupid. And you can tell people about this, I kind of want people at school to know even if I can't talk to them. Thanks for support and ongoing friendships!


So hopefully that goes well. My friends are all awesome open-minded people, so I don't foresee any problems with them, although I can see problems arising with people I don't really know too much. I still don't really know how to let people who live near me (and thus know/ride the bus with me) know, and that is the only group that scares me with coming out. I really have no plan for them, since they aren't people I like and are almost definately not going to be fully accepting. I don't foresee any physical problems, but it's probably gonna suck when those people slowly find out.

In addition to coming out, I'm going to practice for a female voice. I don't know what exactly I'll use as a guide; so far I'm going to find something on tsroadmap.com since my counselor heard from someone who used that with success, but I'm still open to suggestions in that department. I just really want to be ready by school, or at least passable.

It kind of goes without saying but I'm also building up my wardrobe and I'm going to spend much more time at home as a girl, and I'll need to tell other family (grandparents, maybe aunt/uncle/cousins, dad...) but I hope everything goes well. Things will be pretty slow right after school while I rest and then set things up, but I'm hoping things kind of take off. I can't get hormones until I'm 18 here, so that has to wait until the middle of the school year on my birthday, but I plan on setting up pretty much everything else.


Once again, I love all of my friends and family for being such awesome people that I don't have any fears or worries about telling them I'm a bisexual transexual! It feels so awesome knowing that I have such a wonderful cushion and safety net available. I really feel bad for anyone who has to go through this stuff. Because of all these people, I am really hopeful about the future. I really look forward to things. (And maybe I'll be able to tell my friend that I like him! Maybe not... probably more than a little weird to follow "I want to be a girl" with "and I like you" but maybe, just maybe... =P)

sorry for making this so long, I guess I was just inspired =P
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Jessica » Wed Jun 09, 2010 2:20 pm UTC

:D yay for coming out!

I hope you can spend your Senior year as a woman as well :) Being out is awesome.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby TheGrammarBolshevik » Thu Jun 10, 2010 2:41 pm UTC

This week in Good News: The U.S. State Department is announcing that trans people can get passports reflecting their gender identities without/before completing SRS.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Jessica » Thu Jun 10, 2010 2:50 pm UTC

I read that this morning and yay!!

Now, if only Canada would follow suit.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Lumpy » Fri Jun 11, 2010 12:32 am UTC

This means lots to me because Tennessee doesn't change sex on birth certificates even after SRS, and visibly strikes names out on them so you can see the old one. I'd heard I can use my U.S. passport in place of a birth certificate a lot of times, so I'm overjoyed.

But I just found out that I'm going to have to have the same Calculus II teacher going to college as a girl I had for Calculus I going to college as a guy. I really hope no one in my class recognizes me.

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Aaeriele
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Aaeriele » Fri Jun 11, 2010 1:09 am UTC

My response to the handful of not-so-polite transgender-related threads on the Escapist forums:

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/ ... e-Ignorant
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Kulantan » Fri Jun 11, 2010 1:33 am UTC

Aaeriele, there should be some kind of award for going into the pits of ignorance wielding the flaming sword of truth with such aplomb and grace <3.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby poxic » Fri Jun 11, 2010 2:15 am UTC

Oh... my... god...

A thread in a mainstream(ish) forum about transgender issues...

... and the first ten(ish) posts are positive?

I think I can learn to like this world, after all. :D
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