Things you would never, under any circumstances, do

Things that don't belong anywhere else. (Check first).

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The Ethos
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Re: Things you would never, under any circumstances, do

Postby The Ethos » Tue Jun 24, 2008 8:13 am UTC

This may be that I'm getting off a long shift at the hospital, but after a night of treating very sick, dying, assaulted, shot, stabbed, crushed, pierced people....I think it's interesting that so many of you (men) claim that taking another life, or cutting off someone's ear with a switch blade, then dousing them in gasoline, then shooting them (in whichever order), is easier to do than rape.

Do you really think that cold blooded murder is somehow better then inserting a(n) finger, tongue, organ into someone else's blank?

Fascinating.

Please consider that murder does NOT end at the person being murdered.

/Exhausted.
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Felstaff
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Re: Things you would never, under any circumstances, do

Postby Felstaff » Tue Jun 24, 2008 11:33 am UTC

I'm not sure why a comparison was made between these two radically different crimes in terms of difficulty. Or, indeed, how.

I find telephones to be a lot more difficult than modesty, but not as hard as ostrich eggs.

Dadaism aside, as there is an infinite number of ways crimes x & y can be committed, there is a broad spectrum of difficulty involved.

Crime x: Murdering someone with a rusty teaspoon, I would presume, should be a lot harder than pressing a big red button saying 'launch'.

Crime y: This apparently comparable crime really doesn't bear thinking about if you construct a 'spectrum of difficulty' for it. I presume the sheer thought of performing such a malicious and psychologically damaging act is enough to put the majority of level-headed xkcdians off even contemplating whether they would, or could, go through with it. Suffice to say, I'd think the spectrum is somewhat limited in scope.

Murder on the other hand, as Hollywood has taught us, is a lot easier to imagine, particularly when faced with a uniformed, nameless henchman. Also, media has inferred that there are no consequences to killing people, unless that person is of some importance. Finally, murder can be distanced significantly. Depending on your interpretation of murder, it can be committed from many miles away. e.g. Launching a missile from afar, the result is the same: other guy dies, but you don't have the nastiness of witnessing the victim's poor, tea-spoon pounded face up close. (Also you don't need to drop the teaspoon afterwards, grab your temple with blood-stained hands and say: 'My God. Andrea. What have I done?'
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Re: Things you would never, under any circumstances, do

Postby LE4dGOLEM » Tue Jun 24, 2008 1:00 pm UTC

Rippy wrote:It all depends on the reward/compensation. I mean, if it was "If you personally rape and then kill these 12 girls, poverty and disease will be completely eliminated, and humanity will enter the age of space travel", then I would probably take one for the team and do it, as terrible as it would be.


How old?
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Re: Things you would never, under any circumstances, do

Postby Toeofdoom » Tue Jun 24, 2008 4:22 pm UTC

LE4dGOLEM wrote:
Rippy wrote:It all depends on the reward/compensation. I mean, if it was "If you personally rape and then kill these 12 girls, poverty and disease will be completely eliminated, and humanity will enter the age of space travel", then I would probably take one for the team and do it, as terrible as it would be.


How old?


Of course, tha could always be turned around by having the outcome being that all of humanity was wiped out except the people in the giant tin cans up in space, etc...
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Re: Things you would never, under any circumstances, do

Postby Torvaun » Tue Jun 24, 2008 9:02 pm UTC

Rippy wrote:It all depends on the reward/compensation. I mean, if it was "If you personally rape and then kill these 12 girls, poverty and disease will be completely eliminated, and humanity will enter the age of space travel", then I would probably take one for the team and do it, as terrible as it would be.

I wouldn't. However, if it were torture these 12 guys to death, I'm pretty sure I could. Yes, I know that's sexist.
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Re: Things you would never, under any circumstances, do

Postby Neris » Tue Jun 24, 2008 9:21 pm UTC

Have sex with a platypus
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Re: Things you would never, under any circumstances, do

Postby smallfried » Wed Jul 02, 2008 3:51 pm UTC

Alpha Omicron wrote:I once told a friend I would nuke NYC for the proof of the Riemann Hypothesis. I'm pretty sure I still would.

http://science.slashdot.org/science/08/07/02/1418214.shtml

It seems that you might have start looking for a nuke and a good alibi.

AdShea
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Re: Things you would never, under any circumstances, do

Postby AdShea » Fri Aug 01, 2008 3:59 pm UTC

No such luck. Silly page 29

This paper has been withdrawn by the author, due to a mistake on page 29.


http://arxiv.org/abs/0807.0090

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Re: Things you would never, under any circumstances, do

Postby Izawwlgood » Fri Aug 01, 2008 4:15 pm UTC

I swear by my life and my love of it that I will never live for the sake of another man,
nor ask another man to live for the sake of mine.
... with gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth, to tread the jeweled thrones of the Earth under his sandalled feet.

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Re: Things you would never, under any circumstances, do

Postby GonzoMcFonzo » Sat Aug 02, 2008 1:59 am UTC

Your mom.
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Re: Things you would never, under any circumstances, do

Postby AtomicCow » Sat Aug 02, 2008 4:31 am UTC

Nebuduck wrote:Believe in a god. I would happily tell you I believed in a god, if you offered me... well, anything. A chocolate, and I'd claim to have undying faith in the almighty. Thing is, I cannot actually believe in god. Threaten me or my loved ones with whatever, put me through hell, anything, I think I would find it impossible to believe.


Technically if you were put "through Hell" you'd realise that Hell exists, which would cause you to postulate that Heaven does exist. Though if you're figuratively "put through hell" you'd probably be willing to accept a higher being out of hope that the situation would end.

Of course then you would need to define what being "put through hell" for you is. Is it physical torture like some crazy "Saw" scenario, or something mentally challenging like listening to Paris Hilton trying to explain every different string theory to you. Emotional even, like being brought down by every person you've ever met, and having your girlfriend proclaim to the world that you have an incredibly small wang.

Forgot where I was going with this.

But for me, I would never curb-stomp, be within visual distance on a clear sunny day of a curb-stomp, or even see/hear a curb-stomp in any form of media. Enamel grinding on concrete, god I can't stop getting chills.

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Re: Things you would never, under any circumstances, do

Postby Account20151023 » Sat Aug 02, 2008 11:10 pm UTC

Take a laxative and a sleeping pill in the same night.

Never again.

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Kag
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Re: Things you would never, under any circumstances, do

Postby Kag » Sun Aug 03, 2008 12:28 am UTC

Challenge a bear to an insult sword fight.

There are just no good comebacks for "RAAAWR!"
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Re: Things you would never, under any circumstances, do

Postby Vox Imperatoris » Sun Aug 03, 2008 8:36 am UTC

I don't think that this question can ever be resolved, since you can't possibly think of every individual circumstance, and no one knows exactly how they might react.

A more worthwhile question would be what you would never do willingly, without being coerced or bribed, since then we'd actually have some meaningful disagreements.
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Re: Things you would never, under any circumstances, do

Postby quintopia » Sun Aug 03, 2008 9:30 am UTC

I would do anything as long as, if it might be considered evil, it is the least evil of all possible alternatives I can think of in time.

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Re: Things you would never, under any circumstances, do

Postby Ati » Mon Aug 04, 2008 3:30 am UTC

Any actions that I foresee to cause more harm than good.
I can kill you with my brain.

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Re: Things you would never, under any circumstances, do

Postby Sasha » Tue Aug 05, 2008 3:22 am UTC

Nebuduck wrote:Believe in a god. I would happily tell you I believed in a god, if you offered me... well, anything. A chocolate, and I'd claim to have undying faith in the almighty. Thing is, I cannot actually believe in god. Threaten me or my loved ones with whatever, put me through hell, anything, I think I would find it impossible to believe.



Yes. But explain that to the Jehovah's Witnesses.

*shove pamphlet*Have*shove pamphlet*you*shove pamphlet*heard*shove pamphlet*the*shove pamphlet*word*shove pamphlet*of*shove pamphlet*Christ*shove pamphlet*our*shove pamphlet*benevolent*shove pamphlet*savior??*shove pamphlet**shove pamphlet**shove pamphlet**shove pamphlet**shove pamphlet*

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Re: Things you would never, under any circumstances, do

Postby Tigerlion » Tue Aug 05, 2008 3:58 am UTC

If you want to freak them out be a pretty nice person at the same time, invite them in and have a three hour talk about Jesus.
They'll never see it coming.

I just read this in a book, I'm a born-again atheist, not big on the Jesus scene (even thought I go to a super-elitist white Catholic school.)

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Re: Things you would never, under any circumstances, do

Postby pkuky » Wed Aug 06, 2008 8:10 pm UTC

I'd nuke NYC just so as to spare the world the envioramental issues. people would probably live longer. the same reason makes me opposed to democracy in china (they couldn't have birth control) and to birth holidays (women would be less eager to have kids if they thought they'd lose their careers). I know it's aweful, but it's still better then a world where no one has enough food because there's too many people.
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Strange Quark
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Re: Things you would never, under any circumstances, do

Postby Strange Quark » Fri Aug 08, 2008 1:30 am UTC

Felstaff wrote:
  • Make a silly Rick Astley reference


Things I'm never going to do:
1) Give you up,
2) Let you down,
3) Run around and desert you,
4) Make you cry,
5) Say goodbye,
6) Tell a lie and hurt you

Baby.

Anyway, one of the things you just couldn't pay me enough money to do would be self mutilate. I'm sure many people would agree, that's a bad thing, but to me it sticks out in my head. It's the first thing I thought of.
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Strange Quark
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Re: Things you would never, under any circumstances, do

Postby Strange Quark » Fri Aug 08, 2008 2:03 am UTC

The Ethos wrote:Please consider that murder does NOT end at the person being murdered.


No, murder doesn't end with the person being murdered, but as far as I'm concerned the lion's share of the wrong is done against the actual victim. It is the victim who has lost the most, not the grieving friends and relations. I know that it's probably more photogenic for the news people to focus on the relatives in a murder case, after all, corpses aren't very expressive and emotive compared to a crying mother. It aggravates me to see mourners feeling sorry for themselves because they are deprived of the victim's company. To me, it is the finality of what you have done to your victim and not what you have done to the family that makes murder such a terrible crime.

I may hold this opinion because I'm an atheist and don't really believe in an afterlife. Once you're dead, you're dead. I accept that perhaps for a religious person who believes the deceased has gone to some kind of heaven, the effect on the friends and relations is a bigger considerations.

This is just something that bugs me (especially with news reporting) and it probably always will.
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Re: Things you would never, under any circumstances, do

Postby SlyReaper » Sat Aug 09, 2008 7:30 pm UTC

I would never:
- willingly eat a Brussels's sprout
- surgically remove my own genitalia
- say no to the offer of a free pint of beer
- kick a puppy
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Re: Things you would never, under any circumstances, do

Postby Torvaun » Sat Aug 09, 2008 7:44 pm UTC

Strange Quark wrote:Anyway, one of the things you just couldn't pay me enough money to do would be self mutilate. I'm sure many people would agree, that's a bad thing, but to me it sticks out in my head. It's the first thing I thought of.

Depends on what you're going to call self-mutilation. Chop off a hand? A finger? A toe? Scarification? Piercings? Tattoos?
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LE4dGOLEM
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Re: Things you would never, under any circumstances, do

Postby LE4dGOLEM » Sat Aug 09, 2008 9:38 pm UTC

SlyReaper wrote:I would never:
- surgically remove my own genitalia

Surgically being so much worse than other ways?
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Strange Quark
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Re: Things you would never, under any circumstances, do

Postby Strange Quark » Sat Aug 09, 2008 10:05 pm UTC

Torvaun wrote:
Strange Quark wrote:Anyway, one of the things you just couldn't pay me enough money to do would be self mutilate. I'm sure many people would agree, that's a bad thing, but to me it sticks out in my head. It's the first thing I thought of.

Depends on what you're going to call self-mutilation. Chop off a hand? A finger? A toe? Scarification? Piercings? Tattoos?


I wouldn't get piercings or tattoos, but not really for the same reasons. I don't think piercings look good and I tattoos leave you stuck with them. It's more anything the goes into muscle and tendons. I'm usually aright with gore in horror films unless they show a mangled leg that still works somehow. It's okay if the leg came off and it okay if the leg is bloody but still okay.

On reflection, I'm willing to admit this is probably a phobia. Or if not a phobia (after all, it's a reasonable thing to be afraid of), then it's a recurring fear I think about too much. Like 'raptors I guess (isn't xkcd a lovely common frame of reference). If you knew me IRL, you could probably get me to squirm by saying the right things. If so, then maybe this wasn't so relevant.
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Re: Things you would never, under any circumstances, do

Postby 3fj » Sun Aug 10, 2008 1:06 am UTC

I would never shit on someones chest for pleasure.
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Re: Things you would never, under any circumstances, do

Postby Unipidity2 » Sun Aug 10, 2008 11:30 am UTC

Ive had this coversation with friends before, and made them very worried.

There is nothing I wouldnt do, given the right stimulus. I mean, I can think of one for 'causing the universe to end', but thats about it. I would, eg, kill someone rather than cause thermonuclear war. I would cause thermonuclear war to avoid having the Earth blown up by the death star. Just becuase the circumstances are absurd doesnt mean I wouldnt.

Having said that, I'd never harm one particular person if the options allowed me to avoid it.

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Re: Things you would never, under any circumstances, do

Postby Grego » Sun Aug 10, 2008 11:51 am UTC

Watch High School Musical 2.


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