ITT: We make xkcd slightly worse.

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speising
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Re: ITT: We make xkcd slightly worse.

Postby speising » Sun Aug 30, 2015 5:25 pm UTC

Our work fire alarm makes a sound that leaves no capacity for any other thought than to get away from it. The problem is that it gets even louder towards the stairs...

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Quercus
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Re: ITT: We make xkcd slightly worse.

Postby Quercus » Sun Aug 30, 2015 5:33 pm UTC

Coyne wrote:Seriously, I've had this miserable dream enough times that I'm starting to remember, while dreaming, that I'm dreaming and I need to wake up to shut off the alarm. The last time I had it, I forced myself to wake up along about I=4.

There's an opportunity here - if you have some reasonably reliable way of making yourself realise you are dreaming when you are dreaming, then you can use that as a kicking off point for lucid dreams, which are amazingly fun.

ucim wrote:When do you realize that the beeping is from the smoke alarm?

(I'm beginning to realize that the smoke alarms that are programmed with a human voice saying "There's a fire, get up and get out of the house - there's a fire!" are actually not just pandering.)

Jose

I once slept through 10 minutes of (thankfully fire-drill-induced) fire alarm. I got shouted at by the college porter because of that. I think I may have asked him what, exactly, he expected me to do about it. What I didn't add was that it was the college's own damn fault for putting me in a room right next to a main bus station, thus forcing me to sleep through reversing beepers and engine noise, meaning that the fire alarm wasn't actually that much louder than my normal sleep environment

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poxic
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Re: ITT: We make xkcd slightly worse.

Postby poxic » Sun Aug 30, 2015 6:21 pm UTC

My apartment building's alarm is loud as a thousand wailing demons, so that isn't the problem here. The problem is that we've had a couple of fires overnight in the last few years. (Both were on people's balconies. I had no idea that balconies were so flammable.) One was directly below mine (no damage to my suite) and the second was across the courtyard, still within earshot. Both were freaky experiences.

As a result, I found myself waking in a cold panic the other night for no apparent reason. It took me a while to realise that it was raining loud enough to sound like a fire burning nearby. I was able to calm the adrenals once I figured that out, and eventually get back to sleep.

I hope this doesn't go on all fall and winter before the association gets attenuated. :|
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Quercus
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Re: ITT: We make xkcd slightly worse.

Postby Quercus » Sun Aug 30, 2015 6:45 pm UTC

poxic wrote:My apartment building's alarm is loud as a thousand wailing demons, so that isn't the problem here. The problem is that we've had a couple of fires overnight in the last few years. (Both were on people's balconies. I had no idea that balconies were so flammable.) One was directly below mine (no damage to my suite) and the second was across the courtyard, still within earshot. Both were freaky experiences.

As a result, I found myself waking in a cold panic the other night for no apparent reason. It took me a while to realise that it was raining loud enough to sound like a fire burning nearby. I was able to calm the adrenals once I figured that out, and eventually get back to sleep.

I hope this doesn't go on all fall and winter before the association gets attenuated. :|

I can relate - we had a couple of chimney fires when I was a kid, and while I don't think the house was ever in very much danger*, it still rather shakes your confidence in things to see the place where you live rapidly filling with thick smoke, you don't feel quite as secure for a while after that.


*on both occasions my dad managed to extinguish them with a hosepipe down the chimney before the fire brigade arrived.

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Re: ITT: We make xkcd slightly worse.

Postby Burkitt » Thu Sep 03, 2015 3:15 pm UTC

Image

Come on people, Randall warned us about this in xkcd 792



From xkcd 1572

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Coyne
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Re: ITT: We make xkcd slightly worse.

Postby Coyne » Fri Sep 04, 2015 4:20 pm UTC

Burkitt wrote:Come on people, Randall warned us about this in xkcd 792


That's true, and I didn't even think of it while doing the survey.

But...he got nothing. Because I don't use personal-content passwords, and I don't use a given password on multiple sites. Oh, gee, Randall, "Tough luck!"
In all fairness...

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Whizbang
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Re: ITT: We make xkcd slightly worse.

Postby Whizbang » Fri Sep 11, 2015 1:34 pm UTC

1576

I couldn't care less.PNG
I literally can't even.

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xyweasel
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Re: ITT: We make xkcd slightly worse.

Postby xyweasel » Sun Sep 13, 2015 12:53 pm UTC

I wanted to have a go at this, but I'm almost certainly making a joke that has already been done.

Comic 708

xkcd0708.png
Why are we playing craps on a bed, anyway?
xkcd0708.png (37.38 KiB) Viewed 8726 times

Ubik
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Re: ITT: We make xkcd slightly worse.

Postby Ubik » Mon Sep 14, 2015 5:04 pm UTC

1577

advent.png
Is this a threat?

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Coyne
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Re: ITT: We make xkcd slightly worse.

Postby Coyne » Mon Sep 14, 2015 5:13 pm UTC

LOL. Looks like a promise to me. You get these from hit men.
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Re: ITT: We make xkcd slightly worse.

Postby mathmannix » Mon Sep 14, 2015 5:55 pm UTC

Hopefully not from your doctor, anyway.
I hear velociraptor tastes like chicken.

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Re: ITT: We make xkcd slightly worse.

Postby Whizbang » Wed Sep 16, 2015 12:48 pm UTC

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Nutty Man is Nutty.PNG
*Insert Acorn Joke Here*

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Coyne
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Re: ITT: We make xkcd slightly worse.

Postby Coyne » Sun Sep 20, 2015 7:10 pm UTC

1578

Image

Alt text: This is like a conditioned response for me. Most personal calls I get are by cell, so when my "landline" rings, this is my first thought.

Spoiler:
TelemarketerSquirrelxcf.png
Telemarketer squirrel.
TelemarketerSquirrelxcf.png (22.74 KiB) Viewed 8441 times
In all fairness...

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Re: ITT: We make xkcd slightly worse.

Postby Ubik » Sun Sep 20, 2015 8:29 pm UTC

479 776 1256

Image

Spoiler:
squirrel_tones.png

billybobfred
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Re: ITT: We make xkcd slightly worse.

Postby billybobfred » Mon Sep 28, 2015 5:22 am UTC

1578 + 776. Because I find ancient memes unreasonably amusing.
Image
Wait, why not? What do you know, squirrelphone?
she/her/hers

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pkcommando
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Re: ITT: We make xkcd slightly worse.

Postby pkcommando » Tue Oct 06, 2015 2:19 pm UTC

A long-overdue one, 1190:
time1190sw.png
Alt: You can stop waiting for it now.

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Re: ITT: We make xkcd slightly worse.

Postby Burkitt » Tue Oct 06, 2015 7:04 pm UTC

Image

My attempt to infiltrate Cyberdyne was stymied when I was fired for eating a donut while working on a prototype.

From xkcd 1586

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Re: ITT: We make xkcd slightly worse.

Postby Coyne » Thu Oct 08, 2015 5:26 am UTC

1587

Image

Alt text: That's right, soup, steak, snake, pesto, water cress, spaghetti and bratwurst are off my list. Butterscotch, spinach,and ostrich are okay though; Sasquatch will be, if I ever find some. Celery is merely suspect.


Spoiler:
FoodRule2.png
My Food Rule
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Burkitt
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Re: ITT: We make xkcd slightly worse.

Postby Burkitt » Thu Oct 08, 2015 3:51 pm UTC

What about noodles?

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Re: ITT: We make xkcd slightly worse.

Postby mrob27 » Fri Oct 09, 2015 1:31 am UTC

I can answer @Burkitt's question with the mashup suggested by @Coyne's contribution:

1313 + 1587:

FOOD REGEX
Image
I'll eat noodles and opponents, but not U.S. presidents.


Redundant:

Spoiler:
food_rule_regex_golf.png
xkcdsw based on 1313 and 1587
food_rule_regex_golf.png (31.28 KiB) Viewed 7788 times
Last edited by mrob27 on Fri Oct 09, 2015 2:46 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: ITT: We make xkcd slightly worse.

Postby Coyne » Fri Oct 09, 2015 2:25 am UTC

Burkitt wrote:What about noodles?


Noodles are okay (singular: noodle). But not pasta: pasta is bad.
In all fairness...

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Re: ITT: We make xkcd slightly worse.

Postby Whizbang » Fri Oct 09, 2015 1:05 pm UTC

Mitch Hedberg wrote:Spaghetti... I can't eat spaghetti, there's too many of them. No matter how hungry I am, 1,000 of something is too many. I'll have 1,000 pieces of noodles.

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Re: ITT: We make xkcd slightly worse.

Postby Zohar » Fri Oct 09, 2015 1:09 pm UTC

I'm pretty sure the average spaghetti portion is around 100 pieces.
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Re: ITT: We make xkcd slightly worse.

Postby Magnanimous » Fri Oct 23, 2015 9:54 pm UTC

The original joke is about rice. If you want 2-3 times as much you could also use couscous.

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Re: ITT: We make xkcd slightly worse.

Postby teelo » Mon Oct 26, 2015 4:02 am UTC

1594
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xkcd1594sw.png

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Monika
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Re: ITT: We make xkcd slightly worse.

Postby Monika » Wed Oct 28, 2015 12:11 am UTC

Neat!
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teelo
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Re: ITT: We make xkcd slightly worse.

Postby teelo » Fri Oct 30, 2015 6:29 am UTC

1597
Attachments
xkcd1597sw.png

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Re: ITT: We make xkcd slightly worse.

Postby Who » Sun Nov 01, 2015 5:41 am UTC

1206:
einsteinsw.png
He was right about relativity though, that is also a thing.

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Coyne
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Re: ITT: We make xkcd slightly worse.

Postby Coyne » Wed Nov 04, 2015 6:45 am UTC

776, 777, 248, 72, 412, 416, 1152, 1578, 499 and 280.

Image

Alt text: It all depends on your perspective.

Spoiler:
AllIsNormal.png
In all fairness...

teelo
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Re: ITT: We make xkcd slightly worse.

Postby teelo » Thu Nov 05, 2015 12:05 am UTC

Tried to take a bunch of the most used xkcd snippets and turn it into a comprehensible story... it didn't really work. Heres my working:
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xkcd_sw.png

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Coyne
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Re: ITT: We make xkcd slightly worse.

Postby Coyne » Sat Nov 07, 2015 2:16 am UTC

1599 and 11

Image

Alt text: Should have checked that order again before I clicked "Place Order".

Spoiler:
TooMuchAmazon.png
Too Much Amazon
In all fairness...

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Monika
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Re: ITT: We make xkcd slightly worse.

Postby Monika » Sat Nov 07, 2015 3:17 pm UTC

Cute.
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Whizbang
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Re: ITT: We make xkcd slightly worse.

Postby Whizbang » Mon Nov 09, 2015 4:19 pm UTC

Isolation
Isolation.png
So, in conclusion, Mr. President, I propose we avoid drinking tap water until we can be sure the alien spores have been eliminated.


1601

teelo
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Re: ITT: We make xkcd slightly worse.

Postby teelo » Wed Nov 11, 2015 6:54 am UTC

1602
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Zohar
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Re: ITT: We make xkcd slightly worse.

Postby Zohar » Wed Nov 11, 2015 1:59 pm UTC

Yes, that is much worse, for assuming that people are idiots based on their choice of language.
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pkcommando
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Re: ITT: We make xkcd slightly worse.

Postby pkcommando » Fri Nov 13, 2015 6:17 pm UTC

1603:
flashlights1603sw.png
Alt: "Also, this isn't the flAshlight." "I said 'shut up' alright?"

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Whizbang
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Re: ITT: We make xkcd slightly worse.

Postby Whizbang » Fri Nov 13, 2015 7:04 pm UTC

Alternative alt text: "It's ok. Don't feel bad. It happens to all men, eventually." "I said 'shut up' alright?"

teelo
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Re: ITT: We make xkcd slightly worse.

Postby teelo » Mon Nov 16, 2015 7:55 am UTC

1604
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Whizbang
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Re: ITT: We make xkcd slightly worse.

Postby Whizbang » Wed Nov 18, 2015 9:35 pm UTC

DNASW.png
Researchers just found the gene responsible for mistakenly thinking we've found the found the solution to a thing after only a moment's thought. Upon further review, however, it appeared to be much more complex than initial findings indicated.

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Re: ITT: We make xkcd slightly worse.

Postby jfb1337 » Fri Nov 20, 2015 8:34 pm UTC

2015-meme-density550.png
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