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SecondTalon
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Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby SecondTalon » Fri Oct 14, 2011 12:51 am UTC

podbaydoor wrote:
Tomlidich wrote:
Everything you just said has already been explained to me quite eloquently, and often with some heart breaking doses of the TRUTH.
so really no need to repeat it.

Step 1: Do not re-quote giant posts. Quote only a small portion of it, or start your post with an "@Windowlicker" or something. Re-quoting a giant post, only to add one or two sentences with very little content at the bottom, adds to the visual and intellectual noise in the forum and makes it fucking annoying to read through a thread.

Step 2: We know you're trying to change. We appreciate that. One of the ways to change is to NOT POST. Be quiet and read and think. How about this. Spend three days not posting a single thing on the forums. Read everything that you usually read, keep up with threads you find interesting, stalk through recent and old content. But do not post. Do not say anything. Keep it inside and think about what you want to say. Learn about everything and DON'T COMMENT ABOUT IT. Come back when you think you can write a post with at least two paragraphs of content in it, at least every other post.

Users like me and SexyTalon and Felltir can get away with one-liners and jokey bullshit because we've been here for years and every other post or so is filled with contributing content. You, on the other hand, never get above two sentences in a post. Sometimes you struggle to put in more than two fucking words in a post. So...keep quiet, stop posting, and read and watch, until you think you can reach at least two paragraphs of actual content in most of your posts.

One liners from anyone are fine. Provided two things - 1. They're funny. 2. The poster in question has demonstrated the capability of posting with thought in the past. The amount of content doesn't matter, it's the quality of the content that matters.

But yeah, I don't think Tom needs to completely stop posting, but cutting back to .. one or two a day may help. Or thinking of something to post then.. sitting on it for an hour, and see if it's still a good idea to post after the hour has passed.

But he's joined FaiD now. I can explain this with greater ... clarity* down there.


*Cursing and Your Mom jokes.
heuristically_alone wrote:I want to write a DnD campaign and play it by myself and DM it myself.
heuristically_alone wrote:I have been informed that this is called writing a book.

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Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby broken_escalator » Fri Oct 14, 2011 1:13 am UTC

That reminds me I need to join FaiD still, and I don't know why I haven't yet!

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Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby Feddlefew » Fri Oct 14, 2011 1:20 am UTC

Free as in Destitute?
My spelling is abysmal. Just saying.

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Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby broken_escalator » Fri Oct 14, 2011 1:25 am UTC

Free as in Dalmatian.

You're forced to reenact the 101 Dalmatians movie post-by-post as the admins berate you while stroking fur coats. But once you get to the end of the film you are truly free, and you know a few tricks like roll-over, beg and sit.

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Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby Feddlefew » Fri Oct 14, 2011 1:31 am UTC

Well, at least it's not the Starwars holiday special.

Actual quote from the SWHS wrote:RAAAAARRRRRR WWAAAAARRRRAAGGG RAAAAAAA WAAAAAAARRRG.
My spelling is abysmal. Just saying.

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Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby Menacing Spike » Fri Oct 14, 2011 2:30 am UTC

Back to serious rants.

What the fuck is wrong with you, brain? You keep inventing memories. Okay, that seem pretty widespread, but having to update my journal like the Nameless One is irritating to say the least. One can learn to rely instead on recent memory and external stimuli. Annoying, but okay. I'd appreciate it if you could process information without supplying random bits out of nowhere, though.
So um... it would be nice if you started tolerating things. People that touch us should not be disgusting. You don't have to bat them away. I could deal without the rage you induce on contact, also. You should like contact with sexually attractive people, brain. It could be fun!
Speaking of people, it could be nice if you could remember names and faces and birthday and shit. It's awkward, you know, recognizing no one but the immediate family and that one crush. I know you don't like socializing, brain, and that is fine; but I would like to be able to function socially without deceiving people into thinking I remember them. It would be nice if you could, you know, pay attention to voices. That's not noise, brain. That's people talking to you. It's also awkward having to ask them to repeat. We are in England, it's hard enough to understand a foreign language without assigning noise-level priority on interpreting what they say.
And it's not that you can't hear, brain. You can pick up whispers at incredible distances, well before everyone else. You can hear frequencies the others cannot. You can smell shit from leagues. I don't have any basis of comparison for touch, but I assume it's similar. You can taste diluted stuff easily. It's nice and all to be able to pick burning food asap, but I would appreciate if you stopped making my life hell from all this stimuli. Having to wear earplugs all day is not pleasant, nor, again, socially acceptable. You shouldn't have to breathe pockets of air stored in my garments, brain. You should be able to tolerate smells. You shouldn't have to run away when people start smoking, eating cheese, having their dog shit or whatever. You should be able to not vomit when I eat many foods.
It would also be nice if you didn't work yourself in homicidal rage when somebody tears off a wet straweberry leaf. Or clean a window.
I would like to be able to sleep without having to wear earplugs. I would like to tolerate my own odour.
I appreciate that you are less depressed than before. But could you, um, continue extracting yourself from the mud? We were nearing being content, and I don't appreciate you being stuck in the "meh-" state.
Brain, your abstract thinking is really nice. You learn incredibly fast. That's nice! That's a valued quality in our society, and it's useful, too! Except, you know, if you would stay interested after gaining a superficial understanding, that would be pretty nice. You are like a butterfly, brain, except when nearing the pollen, you go "eh, too easy", and flutter to the next flower. We need pollen, brain.
Being able to feel consequent amounts of empathy and love would be lovely. Of course, it's not a realistic objective for the time being. Keep in mind not all humans are pieces of shit, it would be great of you could pick that up emotionally.
And brain, why are you so apelike? Picking objects with our feet is efficient and all, but there must be a reason other people do not. It would also be nice if, when opening a difficult food package, your first instinct was to search for a tool instead of ripping apart the prey. Same thing with mashed potatoes: punching them is not efficient. Yes, I was aware that in middle-school punching some of your problems away was the only way to solve them, but food is not bullies. It's not enemies. It won't move. It won't attack you.
I wish you would be more tolerant of religion, brain. Yes, they are batshit insane. But they found solace in their beliefs. Isn't that more than you can do?
By the way, brain, you can continue to rile up and render miserable people you meet, provided their are insufferable dipshits. Unless they have proven so, keep it to a minimum, will you?
I'm absorbing information all day to keep you happy. Least you could do is return the favor.

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Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby The Scyphozoa » Fri Oct 14, 2011 3:56 am UTC

Oh man, the window cleaning? Like, from squeaky noises? Gee, I wish I were even capable of homicidal rage when that happens. Whereas my body is literally disabled for half a second.
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Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby Feddlefew » Fri Oct 14, 2011 3:57 am UTC

My anger level has now reached "Rabid Badger Sees Face". I have no apples and I must bite something.
My spelling is abysmal. Just saying.

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Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby fizzgig » Fri Oct 14, 2011 7:51 am UTC

Menacing Spike wrote:Picking objects with our feet is efficient and all, but there must be a reason other people do not.


Heh. I do this. The only reason I don't do it when I'm out in public is that I'm usually wearing shoes.

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Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby Angua » Fri Oct 14, 2011 8:15 am UTC

fizzgig wrote:
Menacing Spike wrote:Picking objects with our feet is efficient and all, but there must be a reason other people do not.


Heh. I do this. The only reason I don't do it when I'm out in public is that I'm usually wearing shoes.

My natural inclination is to pick things up with my feet when I'm at home. Of course, I can pick up a tennis ball with my toes, so might be a bit weird anyway.....
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Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby Sytri » Fri Oct 14, 2011 8:50 am UTC

I started picking things up with my feet when I slipped a disk in my back ~2years ago. It does wonders for helping your balance. Plus, its handy if your hands are full.

Rant: 4 years I've done my job and it turns out for 3 years I've had incompotent line managers that has meant my career will be stagnant for at least another year whilst I train in something I should've already been trained in. This was only highlighted when I started looking for an in house transfer and the person I was talking to told me what I should have been doing for the last few years. God Dammit! I didn't want this job but needed to take it. Decided to try and make it work and then I find out I've been living in not-so-blissful ignorance for 3 YEARS. As soon as I can, I'm getting into teaching. I'm taking this as a sign from the FSM themselves and getting out.

Minor rant: It feels like all I do is post in the rant thread. Why can't something awesome happen? A lottery win? Finding some cash on the ground? Wales to get through to the final? Anything so that I don't sound like the typical welshman I try not to be.
Apathy will kill us all. Or not. Whatever.

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Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby Menacing Spike » Fri Oct 14, 2011 1:38 pm UTC

The Scyphozoa wrote:Oh man, the window cleaning? Like, from squeaky noises? Gee, I wish I were even capable of homicidal rage when that happens. Whereas my body is literally disabled for half a second.


Yes, that noise. The rage comes after the disable. "ATTACK! KILL KILL REVENGE!"

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Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby RollingHead » Fri Oct 14, 2011 3:59 pm UTC

I pick stuff up with my feet all the time, I don't think it's very wierd.
Rant: my fever is ruining my weekend :x (also it's making it hard to spell)

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Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby Magnanimous » Fri Oct 14, 2011 7:51 pm UTC

Feddlefew wrote:My anger level has now reached "Rabid Badger Sees Face". I have no mouth and I must scream.

How I read that.

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Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby Whelan » Fri Oct 14, 2011 8:04 pm UTC

Sytri wrote:Minor rant: It feels like all I do is post in the rant thread. Why can't something awesome happen? A lottery win? Finding some cash on the ground? Wales to get through to the final? Anything so that I don't sound like the typical welshman I try not to be.

We beat France in the six nations most years, I will be very disappointed if we don't do the same tomorrow.
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Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby existentialpanda » Sat Oct 15, 2011 1:36 am UTC

On Fridays, the waiters in my house have a tradition of throwing ice cream bars at us instead of just passing them out. Ordinarily I like watching this, even though their aim is terrible and you never end up with the kind you wanted.

Sort of loses its appeal when a flying ice cream bar knocks a cup of blue Powerade into your lap.

Dear waiters, please aim better.

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Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby llamanaru » Sat Oct 15, 2011 2:11 am UTC

Just saying, my waiters aim just fine.

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Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby softchews » Sat Oct 15, 2011 12:46 pm UTC

A train ticket from Durham to Warwick is like £60! Not that I ever wanted to see that place again, but a friend is having a party with all the peoples from home and it would be nice to go, but I doubt I can shell out that much just for train tickets. Stupid trains costing stupid amounts of stupid money that I stupidly don't have to go to a stupid place. And to get home at the end of the year is not much better cost-wise either, but I have to pay that out to actually go home which I probably should.

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Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby Ptolom » Sat Oct 15, 2011 1:13 pm UTC

Fucking laminates. I was fixing the fan on my laptop and managed to delaminate a pad on the fan control PCB. Now I need to buy a whole new fan. Then I was cleaning a sticky label off a book and book and the plastic coating on the cover started coming off. Today I'm only going to touch homogeneous materials.

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Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby broken_escalator » Sat Oct 15, 2011 4:56 pm UTC

Ptolom wrote:Today I'm only going to touch homogeneous materials.

There's a masturbation joke somewhere in this sentence but I can't seem to bring it to climax.

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Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby nehpest » Sat Oct 15, 2011 5:01 pm UTC

broken_escalator wrote:
Ptolom wrote:Today I'm only going to touch homogeneous materials.

There's a masturbation joke somewhere in this sentence but I can't seem to bring it to climax.

Perhaps some external stimulus would help?
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Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby Yakk » Sat Oct 15, 2011 5:03 pm UTC

Ptolom wrote:Fucking laminates. I was fixing the fan on my laptop and managed to delaminate a pad on the fan control PCB. Now I need to buy a whole new fan. Then I was cleaning a sticky label off a book and book and the plastic coating on the cover started coming off. Today I'm only going to touch homogeneous materials.

Avoid aluminum (... and most other metals). It has a thin coating of aluminum oxide on the surface!
One of the painful things about our time is that those who feel certainty are stupid, and those with any imagination and understanding are filled with doubt and indecision - BR

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Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby sockpoppet » Sun Oct 16, 2011 2:45 pm UTC

nehpest wrote:
broken_escalator wrote:
Ptolom wrote:Today I'm only going to touch homogeneous materials.

There's a masturbation joke somewhere in this sentence but I can't seem to bring it to climax.

Perhaps some external stimulus would help?

That would certainly make it come faster.

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Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby Menacing Spike » Sun Oct 16, 2011 2:58 pm UTC

sockpoppet wrote:
nehpest wrote:
broken_escalator wrote:
Ptolom wrote:Today I'm only going to touch homogeneous materials.

There's a masturbation joke somewhere in this sentence but I can't seem to bring it to climax.

Perhaps some external stimulus would help?

That would certainly make it come faster.

Unless you rub him the wrong way.

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Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby gorcee » Mon Oct 17, 2011 5:53 pm UTC

Yakk wrote:
Ptolom wrote:Fucking laminates. I was fixing the fan on my laptop and managed to delaminate a pad on the fan control PCB. Now I need to buy a whole new fan. Then I was cleaning a sticky label off a book and book and the plastic coating on the cover started coming off. Today I'm only going to touch homogeneous materials.

Avoid aluminum (... and most other metals). It has a thin coating of aluminum oxide on the surface!


Yes, but if you scrape it off, it comes right back!

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Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby SecondTalon » Mon Oct 17, 2011 7:12 pm UTC

Know who else comes back when you get them off?

Pretty much everybody. Like your mother, for instance.
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Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby farnsworth » Mon Oct 17, 2011 11:20 pm UTC

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEE.
That is all.

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Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby Torvaun » Mon Oct 17, 2011 11:29 pm UTC

farnsworth wrote:RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEE.
That is all.

Yeah, being reminded of SecondTalon and my mom does that to me too.
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Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby gorcee » Mon Oct 17, 2011 11:35 pm UTC

*sigh*

Why is my younger brother so fucking stupid?

So, he lives with my folks. He goes to a local community college 30 minutes away, which they pay for. The car he inherited from my grandmother was old and unreliable, so my parents bought a car so he can get to work/school. My folks go to Cancun for vacation for the week, and what does he do? He puts the car on Craigslist to sell, because "he wants something newer/nicer."

Ok, dumbass, a few things:

1.) You don't hold the title to the car. How the fuck do you expect to sell it?

2.) You're listing the car for like, $1000 over the KBB value, if it was in excellent condition. It's not.

3.) You say in the advertisement, "the AC isn't working, which I haven't looked into, but it could be as simple as refilling it." Do you even know how AC fucking works? If there's missing fluid, there's a leak.

4.) You're 20 fucking years old. You don't need something newer/nicer. A 96 BMW is new/nice enough for you. You want a new car? Do what every other person in the real world has to do: save up, get a job, and buy what you can afford.

5.) You're not even paying your own car insurance. Do you have any idea what the cost of ownership of a car is? Or how much you'll pay in insurance for the hotrod you think you're badass enough to handle? Oh, and you've had an at-fault accident and had your license less than 3 years, and live in one of the highest cost of insurance states in the country.

6.) You're not Sebastian Vettel. You can't "drift". You're not gonna "win some slips". You lived a sheltered life in an upper middle class rural town in one of the richest states in the union. You're not hard.

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Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby farnsworth » Mon Oct 17, 2011 11:42 pm UTC

Torvaun wrote:
farnsworth wrote:RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEE.
That is all.

Yeah, being reminded of SexyTalon and my mom does that to me too.

You just made my otherwise-crappy day slightly less crappy. :lol: Thank you.

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Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby SecondTalon » Tue Oct 18, 2011 12:26 am UTC

gorcee wrote:*sigh*

Why is my younger brother so fucking stupid?

.... A 96 BMW is new/nice enough for you. .
A '96 BMW? It's probably nicer than most people's car.
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Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby gorcee » Tue Oct 18, 2011 1:52 am UTC

SecondTalon wrote:
gorcee wrote:*sigh*

Why is my younger brother so fucking stupid?

.... A 96 BMW is new/nice enough for you. .
A '96 BMW? It's probably nicer than most people's car.


Not at 176k.

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Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby Chuff » Tue Oct 18, 2011 2:29 am UTC

gorcee wrote:'96 BMW at 176k.

That should still be a really nice car. :/
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Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby phlip » Tue Oct 18, 2011 2:40 am UTC

176k sounds pretty expensive, though... I'm not sure I'd ever want a car that costs that much.

Code: Select all

enum ಠ_ಠ {°□°╰=1, °Д°╰, ಠ益ಠ╰};
void ┻━┻︵​╰(ಠ_ಠ ⚠) {exit((int)⚠);}
[he/him/his]

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Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby Magnanimous » Tue Oct 18, 2011 2:41 am UTC

Hah, 176k. Nowadays you can't find a car that runs on less than four gigs.

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Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby pseudoidiot » Tue Oct 18, 2011 2:49 am UTC

It's not so bad if you run an open-source engine.
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Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby Magnanimous » Tue Oct 18, 2011 2:50 am UTC

True, but then it's a pain to get the right drivers.

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Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby SecondTalon » Tue Oct 18, 2011 3:08 am UTC

But at least they have to pass testing first. In theory, at least. The crashing's a pain in the ass.
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Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby gorcee » Tue Oct 18, 2011 3:52 am UTC

Chuff wrote:
gorcee wrote:'96 BMW at 176k.

That should still be a really nice car. :/


It's not bad by any means, but the things that make a nice car, well, nice, tend to fade with use. Springs in the seats lose their sproinginess. The engine loses compression. Hysteresis weakens the frame. Shocks fade. Bushings wear. Electronics fail. Fluids leak. And with increasing miles comes increased annual cost of maintenance.

It's a perfectly fine car, no doubt about it. A good daily driver. But it's not as nice as, say, an entry level '05 Accord. And I get that he wants a nicer car. We all want nicer cars. But at 20 years old, you don't need a 5 or 6 year old car, because driving in style isn't actually a legit priority in your life. And if it is, then either a.) your priorities are fucked up, or b.) you're already successful and gainfully employed and have a job where that matters (such as meeting clients for lunches or whatnot). He's not in (b), so that pretty much just leaves "his priorities are fucked up" as the only option.

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Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby nehpest » Tue Oct 18, 2011 4:33 am UTC

@gorcee: is your brother the same person as my brother? ARE YOU ME?!

Rant: why can't I remember doing or saying any of the stuff I do and say while logged in under gorcee? And why did I misspell corgie like that?
Kewangji wrote:Someone told me I need to stop being so arrogant. Like I'd care about their plebeian opinions.

blag


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