Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Things that don't belong anywhere else. (Check first).

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yellie
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Re: Confessional Thread - 445 - Number of the Otter

Postby yellie » Fri Feb 15, 2008 9:31 pm UTC

Confession: I don't understand how anyone can go through life without even knowing what Firefly is about.

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Re: Confessional Thread - 445 - Number of the Otter

Postby Lycur » Fri Feb 15, 2008 9:49 pm UTC

Confession: I still think Firefly was a (moderate quality) live action ripoff of Outlaw Star.

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Re: Confessional Thread - 446 - Number of the Sexy Otter

Postby Aleril » Fri Feb 15, 2008 10:33 pm UTC

Confession: Immediately after I saw the title of this topic, I looked up otter porn.


Sexay.
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Re: Confessional Thread - 446 - Number of the Sexy Otter

Postby Fossa » Fri Feb 15, 2008 10:41 pm UTC

Yeah, about reporting the guy?

I work for housing. I could technically lose my job for not reporting him.

On top of that, someone fell off a low roof and died last year. Year before that someone massively fucked up one of the refridgeration units on the roof by cramming their crap in it costing the school a shit ton of money and fucking up service in the dining hall.

People do not belong on the roof.
It is part of my job to report people for doing stupid shit like that.
He was also making my room smell like pot and I really didnt feel like trying to shout at him when he's 5 stories down below me.

*grumbles*

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Re: Confessional Thread - 446 - Number of the Sexy Otter

Postby davef » Fri Feb 15, 2008 11:21 pm UTC

I'm with Fossa on this one.
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Re: Confessional Thread - 446 - Number of the Sexy Otter

Postby sethicus » Fri Feb 15, 2008 11:41 pm UTC

confession: I used to pick the lock on the roof access of Funk East so we could party on the roof. we never caused damage, and no one ever got hurt...though someone below did get puked on one time....
Compromise: Lowering my standards so you can meet them.

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Re: Confessional Thread - 446 - Number of the Sexy Otter

Postby Insignificant Deifaction » Sat Feb 16, 2008 12:00 am UTC

@Delalyra: Err, you really want to hear about it?

Uhm, Okay, spoiler-box because it is really, really long. Oh, and there's sex, a considerable amount. Though I do snip that short.

I will not be sorting it for you, I don't like to ruin surprise/suspense. And, I would like to practice my storytelling technique using something true.

Spoiler:
Before I begin, it should be noted that I had received five pairs of piercings, my very first, the day before.

I'm a very heavy sleeper. I sleep as well as a corpse. I think the only things that wake me up are kissing/pressing at my trachea, and manually opening my eyelids (or otherwise shining bright light upon them). So, naturally, it is not difficult to manipulate me in my sleep. Light, almost entirely impossible to waken, no problem. So, from time to time my SO will awaken me in a most unusual place, that is not where I went to sleep. This has long since ceased to concern me.

So, on Valentine's for us (which began at 8PM Valentine's Day and ended at 1PM The next) it happened again. This time, I did recognise where I was. The dungeon. Yes, we have one.
I found I was bound, nude, on a structure the name of which I do not know. However, it is similar to a vaulting horse, the old triangular type, with myself lain face-down lengthwise upon it. Unlike a vaulting horse of the type I described, it ended shortly, and was held up by table legs. I suspect there is a piece of equipment specifically named that is much like this. My knees were pulled up near to my chest on either side, and bound there, whilst my hands were in the back-facing joint analog of that position. It was short enough that my head and pelvis cleared the ends.

Now, I'm not at my best when waking up, normally I launch straight into cooking-breakfast routine, but that is not feasible when bound to a strange piece of equipment. So, as I ran through my wake-up routine, I felt her breath upon my neck. She is capable of being absolutely silent, especially when in her element, and reveals only what she wants you to know. A shiver runs up and down my spine, which also alerts me to the temperature, which is just right, despite my lack of clothes.

By now fully awake, I began to ponder the situation, nervous with anticipation. It took a long while, merely being able to sense her presence, then progressive contact, until finally a pair of fingers traced along my back and through the hair that remained upon it rather than cascading off to the sides, with something trailing behind them, until finally they strode across my shoulder and came into my vision, pinned betwixt her left forefinger and middle, was the strap belonging to a rather effective type of gag. She's well aware of my wild nature in sex and enjoys it, but it would seem she wanted silence, and so it was applied without protest.

Then, we had sex. I'll only expand upon this point if requested. Afterwards, we enjoyed some milk.

We went out to visit friends and enjoy London. Unsurprisingly, the first home we tried was currently occupied by a strange four-legged four-armed beast with two heads, writhing and making guttural syllables with no coherent meanings. The second home was occupied by some very dear friends, and we had a pleasant stay, and ate with them. It is very rare we eat anywhere but at home, risks are not something we tend to take. It was an enjoyable meal, with the respective dominants making relatively little talk, being much more interested in us. Unusually for being out of the home, I ate at the table, most dominants preferring the submissives to eat separately, whereas my SO doesn't. We had an amiable chat, one that was actually fun despite the hindrance my speech proves.

Then, out my SO took me to a rather pleasant part of London, and there, asked me if I would renew the contract. To explain, this is something like the renewal of marriage vows, only much less ceremonious and annual. Ours is on Valentine's Day because that is the day she claimed me one year previous. Without hesitation, I affirmed the contract. It was sealed exactly the way it originally was, with a tonsil-disturbing kiss before I can even finish the word. During that kiss, she originally placed my first collar upon me. This time, she replaced the band with a better fit whilst holding the choker centrepiece and lock of it against my throat, the collar having not been adjusted since first put on.

Then, in possibly the most girly act of the evening, we went to a few purveyors of goods we know personally, and picked out jewelry for my new piercings, had the choker's gem inspected, and picked up a special valentine's suit order the Mistress had placed with a company she designs for (not as an actual job, but rather she comes up with designs, and has them create them for her. They are always pleased with what they are creating, and offer royalties on the design in addition to the original that was being made for her anyway.) for me. She took me into their dressing room and took off my typical travelling suit it, and replaced with the new white and red (the non-valentines will be black and blue) and pleasantly constricting dress, with locked-on heels. She handed the worn suit into them for maintenance, and took me out to see some theatre.

When we returned at last from our enjoyment of the nightlife of London, she disrobed me as per custom, and we ate some of a pizza that had been automatically delivered according to a standing order. From there we made our way to the bedroom, and the Mistress stripped and placed her clothes into the closet (the closet of her bedroom is enormous, nearly as big as the bedroom itself, with two sections, her wear, and that which I wear), we then crawled into bed to enjoy each others company for what was easily more than an hour. My day ended much as it began, with sex.
Belial wrote:You are giving me the tools to sodomize my vast imagination, and for this I am grateful.

PM Me, if you care for a chat.

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Re: Confessional Thread - 446 - Number of the Sexy Otter

Postby Aluminus » Sat Feb 16, 2008 12:06 am UTC

Insignificant Deification, that is quite possibly the most amazing story that has ever passed into my brain.
Milk>Cigarette
fyrenwater wrote:Oh dear God, I just imagined this horrible scenario of a psychotic non-people-person running around, trying to steal the people-person section of people-peoples' brains to implant into their own brain.

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Re: Confessional Thread - 446 - Number of the Sexy Otter

Postby saxmaniac1987 » Sat Feb 16, 2008 12:32 am UTC

sethicus wrote:confession: I used to pick the lock on the roof access of Funk East so we could party on the roof. we never caused damage, and no one ever got hurt...though someone below did get puked on one time....


DO TELL. (But given the current area coordinator, It would be a horrendous idea.)
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Re: Confessional Thread - 446 - Number of the Sexy Otter

Postby Insignificant Deifaction » Sat Feb 16, 2008 3:31 am UTC

Confession: I became really embarrassed after writing the previous post, and had to leave the fora for a few hours. :oops:
Belial wrote:You are giving me the tools to sodomize my vast imagination, and for this I am grateful.

PM Me, if you care for a chat.

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Re: Confessional Thread - 446 - Number of the Sexy Otter

Postby Fat Tony » Sat Feb 16, 2008 3:37 am UTC

Confession1: The lack of a standard in sexual orientation causes overwhelming amounts of confusion in the determination of a forum-goer's gender.
Confession2: I pondered for a few moments as to whether or not I was "regular" enough to say that I'd be gone for the next week (skiing/snowmobiling/hot-springing in Colorado) with no access to a computer, and will not, therefore, be posting.
Confession3: I really freaking want a "34/M" or "27/F" under people's avatars (adjusted, of course, to match the amount of time passed since the poster's birth [in Earth years] and first letter of the gender of the poster [male or female]).
Confession4: I really hope someone doesn't find a loophole in that last sentence and make some smart ass-remark.
Wanna hear the truth? Life is downright ok.

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Re: Confessional Thread - 446 - Number of the Sexy Otter

Postby Aluminus » Sat Feb 16, 2008 4:19 am UTC

What if someone does not lay claim to a gender? Or decides that one wants to be both genders?
And some people don't want to "advertise" what their gender is.
And sometimes they want to keep you creating conspiracy theories guessing.
fyrenwater wrote:Oh dear God, I just imagined this horrible scenario of a psychotic non-people-person running around, trying to steal the people-person section of people-peoples' brains to implant into their own brain.

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Re: Confessional Thread - 446 - Number of the Sexy Otter

Postby SecondTalon » Sat Feb 16, 2008 5:57 am UTC

Fat Tony wrote:Confession3: I really freaking want a "34/M" or "27/F" under people's avatars (adjusted, of course, to match the amount of time passed since the poster's birth [in Earth years] and first letter of the gender of the poster [male or female]).


No.

If it's actually important for you to know a person's age and gender, that person will tell you. Otherwise it's not important.

We're all neuter and ageless here.
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heuristically_alone wrote:I have been informed that this is called writing a book.

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Re: Confessional Thread - 446 - Number of the Sexy Otter

Postby Sissi » Sat Feb 16, 2008 6:05 am UTC

SecondTalon wrote:We're all neuter and ageless here.

We're neutered, and thus, we can never get off.

However, I do support to show the Poster's age as

Code: Select all

Age = Member Number / Posts + (1 - (Heighth of the Tower of London x Average number of freckles observable on the "Post Yo' Face" thread))

and their sex simply as "Yes, No, or Maybe So, I'm in love with you, Catholic love"
I turned my smilies off.
ParanoydAndroid wrote:I'd like to keep my sexuality firmly ambiguous in their minds

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Re: Confessional Thread - 446 - Number of the Sexy Otter

Postby Boesthius » Sat Feb 16, 2008 9:05 am UTC

Confession: Well..not really a confession - but I'm experiencing helping.png, and god damnit does it suck.
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Re: Confessional Thread - 446 - Number of the Sexy Otter

Postby Hawknc » Sat Feb 16, 2008 11:02 am UTC

Fat Tony wrote:Confession1: The lack of a standard in sexual orientation causes overwhelming amounts of confusion in the determination of a forum-goer's gender.

Perhaps the problem lies not in a lack of standards in sexual orientation, but in your perception of what a person's gender should be in regards to their sexual activity.

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Re: Confessional Thread - 446 - Number of the Sexy Otter

Postby Insignificant Deifaction » Sat Feb 16, 2008 2:41 pm UTC

Or, even, your expectations of how certain people should talk.

The fact is, on these fora, only a few people are clearly defined and happy with themselves.
Belial wrote:You are giving me the tools to sodomize my vast imagination, and for this I am grateful.

PM Me, if you care for a chat.

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Re: Confessional Thread - 446 - Number of the Sexy Otter

Postby Hawknc » Sat Feb 16, 2008 2:48 pm UTC

Are the two related? I would think the people who fit into clear labels here are no more or less happy than genre-defying ones.

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Re: Confessional Thread - 446 - Number of the Sexy Otter

Postby Pandercolour » Sat Feb 16, 2008 4:18 pm UTC

Confession: I spend way too much time planning out my revenge without actually acting on it.

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Re: Confessional Thread - 446 - Number of the Sexy Otter

Postby Insignificant Deifaction » Sat Feb 16, 2008 4:32 pm UTC

It's two pieces,
1) Clearly defined
2) Happy with $status

Those who are clearly defined but not happy with it would probably try not to be clearly defined.
Belial wrote:You are giving me the tools to sodomize my vast imagination, and for this I am grateful.

PM Me, if you care for a chat.

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Re: Confessional Thread - 446 - Number of the Sexy Otter

Postby Cheese » Sat Feb 16, 2008 10:00 pm UTC

Confession: I have too much to confess. Maybe not all of it's confessions, but I could do with someone to talk to about everything I'm all stressed out about and confused by. However, I'm useless at keeping my thoughts flowing while I type, and I can never get enough 'private time' with a friend to have any kind of meaningful discussion.

Confession: The above makes it sound like I'm trying to run away from my problems by coming up with excuses as to why I can't talk about them. Sometimes, it feels like I am.

Also, I've read the word 'milk' in four threads in less than an hour. Do I smell a conspiracy, or is that just the beginning of cheese?
hermaj wrote:No-one. Will. Be. Taking. Cheese's. Spot.
Spoiler:
LE4dGOLEM wrote:Cheese is utterly correct on all fronts.
SecondTalon wrote:That thing that Cheese just said. Do that.
Meaux_Pas wrote:I hereby disagree and declare Cheese to be brilliant.
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Re:

Postby Aleril » Sun Feb 17, 2008 3:32 am UTC

Alisto wrote:I murdered a man by setting his car dealership on fire with him in it.

Note: This is a confession from the future. My head gasket went yesterday. I have very very strong reason to believe that the man who sold me my car 2.5 months ago knew about the problem and just gave it a quick patch job before putting the car up for sale. If my mechanic confirms this... well, things will not end well.



Nonsense. Fire and explosions solve anything well.
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Re: Confessional Thread - 446 - Number of the Sexy Otter

Postby aetherson » Sun Feb 17, 2008 5:42 am UTC

Would having a designation of M/F and age help you get a better mental picture?
The personalities we put forth on these fora are essentially sexless. That's not to say that the poster doesn't express a male or female or neuter voice when posting. It's just that you're interacting with a personality; a mind, not a body.

ID:
I hope you don't mind me asking specifics about you and your Mistress's (sorry if this is the wrong term) relationship.
I have a question regarding your collar.
Is this something worn "all" the time? It doesn't chafe?
I can't even wear my Cross at night. I have to take it off...

edited for spilling errurs.
01001101 01100001 01100100 01100101 00100000 01011001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01001100 01101111 01101111 01101011 00100001

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Re: Confessional Thread - 446 - Number of the Sexy Otter

Postby Kaletécho » Sun Feb 17, 2008 6:03 am UTC

Confession:
I just broke my Lenten vow. I'm just glad I'm Protestant not Catholic!
Spoiler:
Fossa wrote:[The other thread] is clearly about marital arts which, to my understanding, are a lot more painful and involve less grappling than you'd think...

Cheese wrote:I would say "I am a douche", but then someone would sig it.

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Re: Confessional Thread - 446 - Number of the Sexy Otter

Postby Pandercolour » Sun Feb 17, 2008 6:51 am UTC

Kaletécho wrote:Confession:
I just broke my Lenten vow. I'm just glad I'm Protestant not Catholic!

I'm not even sure the Pope keeps his Lenten vows. It's not exactly binding.

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Re: Confessional Thread - 446 - Number of the Sexy Otter

Postby HedgehogsAreFunneh » Sun Feb 17, 2008 7:44 am UTC

Aleril wrote:
Alisto wrote:I murdered a man by setting his car dealership on fire with him in it.

Note: This is a confession from the future. My head gasket went yesterday. I have very very strong reason to believe that the man who sold me my car 2.5 months ago knew about the problem and just gave it a quick patch job before putting the car up for sale. If my mechanic confirms this... well, things will not end well.



Nonsense. Fire and explosions solve anything well.


In a nondirect tie-in confession to this, my first semi-subconscious reaction to almost any distressing situation is to, somehow, light everything on fire. Then just sit back and just watch it burn.

It would also be prudent to mention that I haven't commited any sort of arson ... yet.
I was thinking of either meditating or napping, but the way I do it, there's not much difference except in the explanation to the rest of my family.

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Re: Confessional Thread - 446 - Number of the Sexy Otter

Postby HedgehogsAreFunneh » Sun Feb 17, 2008 7:47 am UTC

While we're on the topic: Hey, Christians out there, what's up with the whole communion thing, drinking Christ's "blood" and that?
I mean, why do you do it?

Also, does anyone know how Lent came about, historically?
I was thinking of either meditating or napping, but the way I do it, there's not much difference except in the explanation to the rest of my family.

"If anyone finds the plot of this book, tell it I love it very much and want it to come home."

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Re: Confessional Thread - 446 - Number of the Sexy Otter

Postby Will » Sun Feb 17, 2008 7:51 am UTC

HedgehogsAreFunneh wrote:While we're on the topic: Hey, Christians out there, what's up with the whole communion thing, drinking Christ's "blood" and that?
I mean, why do you do it?


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Last_supper
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Re: Confessional Thread - 446 - Number of the Sexy Otter

Postby HedgehogsAreFunneh » Sun Feb 17, 2008 7:58 am UTC

Will wrote:
HedgehogsAreFunneh wrote:While we're on the topic: Hey, Christians out there, what's up with the whole communion thing, drinking Christ's "blood" and that?
I mean, why do you do it?


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Last_supper


Ah, wikipedia. The source of all enlightenment.

Thanks.
I was thinking of either meditating or napping, but the way I do it, there's not much difference except in the explanation to the rest of my family.

"If anyone finds the plot of this book, tell it I love it very much and want it to come home."

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Re: Confessional Thread - 446 - Number of the Sexy Otter

Postby Will » Sun Feb 17, 2008 8:00 am UTC

Don't thank me, thank Jimbo Wales.
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Re: Confessional Thread - 446 - Number of the Sexy Otter

Postby xooll » Sun Feb 17, 2008 8:52 am UTC

Confession: just hearing certain names juxtaposed is enough to set me off still. God damn it.
So, I got tired of the fact that the appearance of my band name in my signature made my posts on this forum the dominant result when googling for my music. Anyway, if you think I might happen to be a good musician, you can test this theory here.

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Re: Confessional Thread - 446 - Number of the Sexy Otter

Postby mrorange » Sun Feb 17, 2008 9:06 am UTC

confession: i feel incredibly guilty a lot...
Truth be told/If I can be so bold/Your sig did inspire/What here did transpire/So that you would me admire/cause me to aspire/to greater heights/of lyrical plights.
-ThorFluff
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Re: Confessional Thread - 446 - Number of the Sexy Otter

Postby xooll » Sun Feb 17, 2008 9:09 am UTC

Confession: I know that slicing towards my finger can result in getting blood on the cheese, but when there's no table it's really the only way to get a smooth slice.
So, I got tired of the fact that the appearance of my band name in my signature made my posts on this forum the dominant result when googling for my music. Anyway, if you think I might happen to be a good musician, you can test this theory here.

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Re: Confessional Thread - 446 - Number of the Sexy Otter

Postby Kaletécho » Sun Feb 17, 2008 3:04 pm UTC

Confession: My forum alias holds no significance whatsoever. I just threw together random syllables.
Spoiler:
Fossa wrote:[The other thread] is clearly about marital arts which, to my understanding, are a lot more painful and involve less grappling than you'd think...

Cheese wrote:I would say "I am a douche", but then someone would sig it.

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Re: Confessional Thread - 446 - Number of the Sexy Otter

Postby Cheese » Sun Feb 17, 2008 10:38 pm UTC

Kaletécho wrote:Confession:
I just broke my Lenten vow. I'm just glad I'm Protestant not Catholic!
Confession: I considered making a lenten vow just so I could break it, to 'prove' to myself how much crap is in the Catholic faith. I didn't, though.

And HedgehogsAreFunneh: I understand why you asked that question. I was raised religiously, and the significance of it wasn't really explained until I looked the thing up myself. This line of thought is dangerously close to becoming rambly (and trollish, too), so I'll shut up before it gets to that.
hermaj wrote:No-one. Will. Be. Taking. Cheese's. Spot.
Spoiler:
LE4dGOLEM wrote:Cheese is utterly correct on all fronts.
SecondTalon wrote:That thing that Cheese just said. Do that.
Meaux_Pas wrote:I hereby disagree and declare Cheese to be brilliant.
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Re: Confessional Thread - 446 - Number of the Sexy Otter

Postby Delalyra » Mon Feb 18, 2008 2:18 am UTC

I_D, thanks for the story. :D

Confession: I did this. And it was awesome.
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Re: Confessional Thread - 446 - Number of the Sexy Otter

Postby Spoffin » Mon Feb 18, 2008 2:33 am UTC

Confession
I told a friend of mine that I'd been procrastinating doing this essay all weekend. She then proceeded to correctly guess most of the ways I had been doing so. Which was embarrassing.
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Re: Confessional Thread - 446 - Number of the Sexy Otter

Postby TheTankengine » Mon Feb 18, 2008 3:25 am UTC

Insignificant Deification wrote:Or, even, your expectations of how certain people should talk.

The fact is, on these fora, only a few people are clearly defined and happy with themselves.

I am clearly defined and happy (ecstatic even!) with myself. Do I get pie?
be centered
be compassionate
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Re: Confessional Thread - 446 - Number of the Sexy Otter

Postby yellie » Mon Feb 18, 2008 3:35 am UTC

I'm clearly defined and happy with myself too, so I'd like to second the request for pie. :D

Confession: It's half 3, I'm watching Mean Girls and I'm supposed to be getting up to go to college in about 3 hours. (Is that even a confession? Let's go with "I like Mean Girls!" as my confession.)

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Aluminus
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Re: Confessional Thread - 446 - Number of the Sexy Otter

Postby Aluminus » Mon Feb 18, 2008 3:46 am UTC

Confession: I just saw a knit flail. It took me a few seconds to register what it was, because it was blue-green. And woolen.
And I wonder to myself what use a woolen flail would be.
fyrenwater wrote:Oh dear God, I just imagined this horrible scenario of a psychotic non-people-person running around, trying to steal the people-person section of people-peoples' brains to implant into their own brain.


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