C by GE "Smart" Bulbs

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The Snide Sniper
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C by GE "Smart" Bulbs

Postby The Snide Sniper » Sat Jun 22, 2019 4:30 pm UTC

https://youtube.com/watch?v=1BB6wj6RyKo

How I imagine GE resets their smart wind turbines:
  1. Spin the blades 90° clockwise.
  2. Wait exactly 3.47 seconds. Too short, and nothing will happen; too long, and you could instead queue it to self-destruct.
  3. Spin the blades 180° counterclockwise.
  4. Turn off the power grid for 2 seconds.
  5. Turn on the power grid for 8 seconds.
  6. Turn off the power grid for 2 seconds.
  7. Turn the power grid back on.
  8. Wait for the panels on the blades to slide off, revealing buttons and colored lights.
  9. The colored lights will flash in a specific pattern. Repeat this pattern on the buttons of matching color, turning the blades 77° between the first two presses and an additional 34° for each successive interval.
  10. The colored lights will flash three times. Before they can flash a fourth time, press the blue and purple buttons.
  11. A door at the base of the turbine will open through which goblin knights will exit.
  12. Once you have defeated the goblin knights in ritual combat, the turbine will sprout legs and challenge you. Keep in mind that only kung-fu will work on this final adversary.
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Flumble
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Re: C by GE "Smart" Bulbs

Postby Flumble » Sat Jun 22, 2019 5:49 pm UTC

I'm going to ruin the fun by asking: does it ever occur that you need to reset your lightbulbs?

The reset steps may be bloated (just like the firmware ...of any "smart" device), but if it happens very rarely and the alternative would be throwing away the lamp, it's fine. And it's easier than grabbing a chair, finding a screwdriver, opening the fixture, unscrewing the bulb, flicking a reset switch or connecting it over USB (which complicates the production process by the way), putting it back in and closing the fixture.

speising
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Re: C by GE "Smart" Bulbs

Postby speising » Sat Jun 22, 2019 5:57 pm UTC

hey, at least they simplified the process for the newer firmware.

i'm wondering about the tolerances on the timings. would be nice if they told us how exact we have to be.

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somitomi
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Re: C by GE "Smart" Bulbs

Postby somitomi » Sat Jun 22, 2019 5:59 pm UTC

Flumble wrote:I'm going to ruin the fun by asking: does it ever occur that you need to reset your lightbulbs?

The reset steps may be bloated (just like the firmware ...of any "smart" device), but if it happens very rarely and the alternative would be throwing away the lamp, it's fine. And it's easier than grabbing a chair, finding a screwdriver, opening the fixture, unscrewing the bulb, flicking a reset switch or connecting it over USB (which complicates the production process by the way), putting it back in and closing the fixture.

I'd personally rather remove the bulb from wherever and press a small button marked "reset", but then I wouldn't buy a smart bulb in the first place.
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