You Might Be a Biology Major if...

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morumotto
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby morumotto » Tue Jul 07, 2009 3:47 am UTC

A man walks into a bar, he says "I'd like a pint of adenosinetriphosphate please".
"certainly sir" says the barman "that'll be 80p"


LOLZ
But shouldn't it be adenosine diphosphate?
Eh, maybe it depends on your dialect.

Donatello
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Donatello » Tue Jul 07, 2009 4:36 am UTC

Oh yeah, smells like rotting meat.


Wow, did you take that picture yourself? Where was this nursery located?
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Jebobek
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Jebobek » Tue Jul 07, 2009 5:07 pm UTC

Is it a Bio major or latin major that laughs when they read Amorphophallus titanum and look at the plant?
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby crowey » Wed Jul 08, 2009 10:46 am UTC

morumotto wrote:
A man walks into a bar, he says "I'd like a pint of adenosinetriphosphate please".
"certainly sir" says the barman "that'll be 80p"


LOLZ
But shouldn't it be adenosine diphosphate?
Eh, maybe it depends on your dialect.

I think it's a dialect thing, 80 definitely has a T sound for me, rather than a D...

@ Username4242 nigersaurus is ace :mrgreen:

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Josephine
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Josephine » Fri Jul 10, 2009 7:21 am UTC

Jebobek wrote:Is it a Bio major or latin major that laughs when they read Amorphophallus titanum and look at the plant?



A misshapen titanic penis that smells like rotting meat. Great.
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Cytoplasm » Wed Jul 15, 2009 6:07 pm UTC

bluntmicroppipeter_biology major.JPG
bluntmicroppipeter_biology major.JPG (61.96 KiB) Viewed 7232 times
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby D_K » Fri Nov 20, 2009 11:36 pm UTC

Username4242 wrote:Your desktop wallpaper shifts every minute to varying photos of Gondwanan dinosaurs (and the geologic localities they're found in).

[/img]

I've got mine set to show different marine animals every minuite, Marine Biology major 8)

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Charlie!
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Charlie! » Sun Nov 22, 2009 7:09 am UTC

Omegaton wrote:
Meteorswarm wrote:YMBABM if you classify what you eat by clade.

I actually don't eat within my class.

A professor I had once challenged the class to think of a five phylum stew, that is, a dish that would actually contain members of five different animal phyla. It is not easy to think of one that would be typical or sound very delicious. Chordata, Mollusca, and Arthropoda were some of the first choices, but we had to be a little more creative for the last two. I've also eaten sea cucumber and jellyfish which checked off two other phyla, but again, it didn't sound very appetizing.

That's pretty cool.

Brachiopoda may be another decent one, hinged-shelled sea creatures harvested and eaten over in Asia. Despite apparently being fairly different from bivalves biologically they're not too different when cooked.
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viscusanima
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby viscusanima » Sun Nov 22, 2009 7:51 am UTC

YMBABM (or similar) if you can actually explain to people why they get drunk quicker on carbonated drinks or on an empty stomach, with reference to their physiology.

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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby PossibleSloth » Mon Nov 23, 2009 7:01 pm UTC

YMBABMI:

You've referred to a brownie recipe as a "protocol".

You've performed surgery wearing shorts and flip-flops.

Your first reaction on hearing about a rare, untreatable disorder is "cool". (second reaction: embarrassed self-loathing)

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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Whelan » Mon Nov 23, 2009 7:37 pm UTC

viscusanima wrote:YMBABM (or similar) if you can actually explain to people why they get drunk quicker on carbonated drinks or on an empty stomach, with reference to their physiology.

I recently explained to my drunk self why I felt warm despite knowing I was cold.
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dragon
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby dragon » Wed Nov 25, 2009 9:52 am UTC

viscusanima wrote:YMBABM (or similar) if you can actually explain to people why they get drunk quicker on carbonated drinks or on an empty stomach, with reference to their physiology.

I'd be interested in hearing the bubbly explanation, if you would oblige?
Context? What context?
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby crowey » Fri Nov 27, 2009 9:39 pm UTC

something along the lines of:
The bubbles agrivate the sphincter at the bottom of your stomach (pyloric ?), making it open and empty your stomach contents into your intestines. Intestine tissue absorbs alcohol into your blood much better than stomach tissue does. Non-fizzy drinks will sit in your stomach much longer, meaning that the alcohol isn't absorbed as quickly. Overall I think you absorb the same amount of alcohol, but the rate is much faster in carbonated drinks.

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Mokele
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Mokele » Sat Nov 28, 2009 2:56 am UTC

YMBABM if your home contains more dead animals and animal parts than some small museums.
"With malleus aforethought, mammals got an earful of their ancestor's jaw" - J. Burns, Biograffiti

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Whelan
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Whelan » Sat Nov 28, 2009 2:48 pm UTC

Or you might have three cats and a large garden.
"I like to be understood whenever I open my mouth; I have a horror of blinding people with science"- Richard Dawkins
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TaintedDeity wrote:And all I get is this tame space dragon. Where's my recognition?!
A tame dragon is its own reward.

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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Izawwlgood » Sat Nov 28, 2009 5:39 pm UTC

Jebobek wrote:Is it a Bio major or latin major that laughs when they read Amorphophallus titanum and look at the plant?


My latin is admittedly crappy, but doesn't that mean "Not penis form giant"?

I'm just going to go with YMBABM if the human mating dance is particularly hilarious to you.
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Admiral Valdemar
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Admiral Valdemar » Sat Nov 28, 2009 11:57 pm UTC

YMBABM...

If Sonic Hedgehog and R2D2 aren't just a blue spiky mammal and a dumpy droid.

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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Zeroignite » Sun Nov 29, 2009 3:06 am UTC

Izawwlgood wrote:
Jebobek wrote:Is it a Bio major or latin major that laughs when they read Amorphophallus titanum and look at the plant?
My latin is admittedly crappy, but doesn't that mean "Not penis form giant"?

Giant ill-formed penis plant. When David Attenborough did a documentary on the thing, he had to invent a new, more appropriate name.
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MadParrot
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby MadParrot » Mon Dec 07, 2009 10:42 am UTC

'GATTACA' is really hard to read as a one word movie title

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Admiral Valdemar
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Admiral Valdemar » Mon Dec 07, 2009 2:36 pm UTC

You watched King Kong for the flora and fauna of Skull Island and got the Weta book explaining their evolution.

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Omegaton
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Omegaton » Mon Dec 07, 2009 3:26 pm UTC

Speaking of weta, YMBABM if you are solving anagrams and you get "wetas" when apparently the answer was "waste." True story, although it was in sixth grade for me...

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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby waffleface » Mon Dec 07, 2009 6:05 pm UTC

Sartorius wrote:People ask you health-related questions even though what you're studying has nothing to do with the human body.


I can relate to this :lol:

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Admiral Valdemar
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Admiral Valdemar » Mon Dec 07, 2009 6:15 pm UTC

waffleface wrote:
Sartorius wrote:People ask you health-related questions even though what you're studying has nothing to do with the human body.


I can relate to this :lol:


I had someone do it just the other night regarding their presumed diabetes (they had fatigue, slow healing wounds and drank a lot). I ruled it out given further details anyway, but the only medical area I could really comment on would medical microbiology.

YMBABM if you consider the perfect organism has already evolved. And it's not eukaryotic (a certain quote by Gould springs to mind).

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Charlie!
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Charlie! » Tue Dec 08, 2009 12:16 am UTC

Admiral Valdemar wrote:YMBABM if you consider the perfect organism has already evolved.

O RLY?
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Izawwlgood
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Izawwlgood » Tue Dec 08, 2009 2:30 am UTC

You're at ASCB right now
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Josephine
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Josephine » Tue Dec 08, 2009 3:08 am UTC

Admiral Valdemar wrote:
YMBABM if you consider the perfect organism has already evolved. And it's not eukaryotic (a certain quote by Gould springs to mind).


Already evolved isn't too hard to swallow, but not eukaryotic?
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endospire
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby endospire » Sat Dec 12, 2009 8:55 am UTC

You might be a molecular biology major if, when you tell people what your major is, 99% of them give you the 'I wish I didn't ask' look.
And, when you silently rage when people mistake it for microbiology

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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Agent_Irons » Sat Dec 12, 2009 12:59 pm UTC

endospire wrote:You might be a molecular biology major if, when you tell people what your major is, 99% of them give you the 'I wish I didn't ask' look.
And, when you silently rage when people mistake it for microbiology

I'm bioengineering, and I know exactly what you mean.

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Admiral Valdemar
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Admiral Valdemar » Sat Dec 12, 2009 3:28 pm UTC

nbonaparte wrote:
Admiral Valdemar wrote:
YMBABM if you consider the perfect organism has already evolved. And it's not eukaryotic (a certain quote by Gould springs to mind).


Already evolved isn't too hard to swallow, but not eukaryotic?


Gould, like myself as a microbiologist, admired bacteria and other precursors to ourselves. Afterall, where would we be if our cellular powerplants didn't come about? ;)

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Mokele
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Mokele » Sat Dec 12, 2009 5:42 pm UTC

endospire wrote:You might be a molecular biology major if, when you tell people what your major is, 99% of them give you the 'I wish I didn't ask' look.
And, when you silently rage when people mistake it for microbiology


That's part of why I love being in herpetology - people are actually interested in what I do, and for me, "talking about my field" can involve stories of bear-eating pythons, giant crocodiles, and flying snakes.
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oxoiron
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby oxoiron » Sat Dec 12, 2009 6:02 pm UTC

Mokele wrote:...bear-eating pythons...
:shock:

Details, please. How big was the bear and how big was the snake?
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby QuiteJaughty » Sat Dec 12, 2009 6:08 pm UTC

YMBABM if, every 5 pages of Andromeda Strain (or any Crichton novel), you pause, cringe, and thing "Dammit, that's NOT HOW IT WORKS!"

Also, without sarcasm, what is with the premed hateage? I really don't get it. Of course, I'd LIKE to be a premed, so I might be biased but...
eh?

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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Admiral Valdemar » Sat Dec 12, 2009 6:30 pm UTC

QuiteJaughty wrote:YMBABM if, every 5 pages of Andromeda Strain (or any Crichton novel), you pause, cringe, and thing "Dammit, that's NOT HOW IT WORKS!"

Also, without sarcasm, what is with the premed hateage? I really don't get it. Of course, I'd LIKE to be a premed, so I might be biased but...
eh?


Crichton did somewhat better with Prey, since the idea of a crystalline virus thingy engulfing all of America is a tad hard to swallow. Crichton may have been a doctor, yet he seemingly butchers science at every level. And climate denying? Lordy.

Also, herpetology is very interesting, but I also like entomology given the awesome of insects.

Still, nothing fascinates me more than microbes. They make bitches of every other organism, after all. Like Hoffman said in Outbreak, "[they're] a millionth our size and beating us".

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Mokele
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Mokele » Sat Dec 12, 2009 7:26 pm UTC

oxoiron wrote:
Mokele wrote:...bear-eating pythons...
:shock:

Details, please. How big was the bear and how big was the snake?


A 23kg sun bear (admittedly malnourished) and a 7m, 59kg reticulated python. Here's the pdf.
"With malleus aforethought, mammals got an earful of their ancestor's jaw" - J. Burns, Biograffiti

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Admiral Valdemar
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Admiral Valdemar » Sat Dec 12, 2009 7:29 pm UTC

I always liked the story about the anaconda and the croc that had a fight to the death. The snake won, then burst when eating the glorified lizard.

I wish we could see more such creature fights. I know they used to organise them in Victorian times after cockfighting and dogfights got old (lion versus grizzly: FIGHT!). Pity a big part of me finds it abhorrent. If it happens naturally, though...

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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Omegaton » Sun Dec 13, 2009 12:01 am UTC

Mokele wrote:
endospire wrote:You might be a molecular biology major if, when you tell people what your major is, 99% of them give you the 'I wish I didn't ask' look.
And, when you silently rage when people mistake it for microbiology


That's part of why I love being in herpetology - people are actually interested in what I do, and for me, "talking about my field" can involve stories of bear-eating pythons, giant crocodiles, and flying snakes.

Lucky, fish biologists get no such love.

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Admiral Valdemar
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Admiral Valdemar » Sun Dec 13, 2009 1:24 am UTC

Omegaton wrote:Lucky, fish biologists get no such love.


Feel like you're piscine your life away?

Yeah, I went there.

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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Whelan » Sun Dec 13, 2009 1:29 am UTC

Admiral Valdemar wrote:
Omegaton wrote:Lucky, fish biologists get no such love.


Feel like you're piscine your life away?

Yeah, I went there.

That joke was poisson.
"I like to be understood whenever I open my mouth; I have a horror of blinding people with science"- Richard Dawkins
Weeks wrote:
TaintedDeity wrote:And all I get is this tame space dragon. Where's my recognition?!
A tame dragon is its own reward.

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Admiral Valdemar
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Admiral Valdemar » Sun Dec 13, 2009 2:35 am UTC

Don't have a Hydrodamalis gigas, man.

Thank you, I'll be here all week. Please, try the fish.

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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Cobramaster » Sun Dec 13, 2009 3:55 am UTC

YMBABM if you see a be flying around and the first thing you do is determine breed and whether or not it belongs to your research group. Also on the same note nothing at all sounds wrong with the idea of breaking open a hive of 20,000 bees with nothing more than a t-shirts and shorts for protection, and taking the queen out for sampling with bare hands.

And in an unrelated biology note you feel cheated that kids nowadays get to stain agarose gels with ethidium bromide sheets instead of the big tubs of mutagen you had to use.
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