Good News, Bad News

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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Tomlidich the second » Fri May 30, 2014 8:46 pm UTC

Bad news: it now is uncomfortably attracted to you.
Image

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Whizbang
The Best Reporter
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Whizbang » Fri May 30, 2014 9:19 pm UTC

Good News: You'll try anything once.

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bug sniper
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby bug sniper » Sat May 31, 2014 8:15 am UTC

Bad News: The robot doesn't have a soft hole for you.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

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Whizbang
The Best Reporter
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Whizbang » Mon Jun 02, 2014 1:33 pm UTC

Good News: The cybersex is amazing!!1

Spoiler:
Alternate Good News: You have a soft hole for it.

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Tue Jun 03, 2014 10:20 am UTC

Bad news: it is amazing up to the point your penis gets cut off.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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Queen Arasene
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Queen Arasene » Sat Jun 07, 2014 8:59 pm UTC

Good news: It didn't get cut off by the cybersex.
It's Magic. I ain't gonna explain shit.

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patzer
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby patzer » Sun Jun 08, 2014 8:28 pm UTC

Bad news: It did hurt, though.
If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family Anatidae on our hands. –Douglas Adams

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Queen Arasene
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Queen Arasene » Wed Jun 11, 2014 12:01 pm UTC

Good news: It didn't hurt as much as you think it would.
It's Magic. I ain't gonna explain shit.

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bug sniper
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby bug sniper » Sun Jun 15, 2014 8:40 pm UTC

Bad News: To prevent the plot from expanding into chaos, I am forced to say that the robots are programmed to self destruct when they experience pleasure.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

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Yablo
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Location: Juneau, Alaska

Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Yablo » Mon Jun 16, 2014 9:12 pm UTC

Good news: They experience pleasure.
If you like Call of Cthulhu and modern government conspiracy, check out my Delta Green thread.
Please feel free to ask questions or leave comments.

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Whizbang
The Best Reporter
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Whizbang » Mon Jun 16, 2014 9:18 pm UTC

Bad News: Auto-Erotic Self Destruction becomes a thing. Self Destruct Porn becomes a thing. Computers replay sci-fi videos where the computer counts down self destruction. Computer Porn + Human Porn = Too Much Porn and the universe self destructs, experiencing pleasure as it does so.

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KingTip
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby KingTip » Tue Jun 17, 2014 5:43 pm UTC

Good new: You wake up back where this whole thread started... It was just a dream!
I'm baaaaaaaaack! ( <- sort of ironic cause I left for a little bit, but I might be back...)

Look around you
Strex.
Look inside you
Strex.
Go to sleep
Strex.
Believe in a smiling god.

StrexCorp.
It is everything.


...

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bug sniper
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby bug sniper » Wed Jun 18, 2014 4:40 am UTC

Bad News: Every time you make progress or get somewhere interesting, it becomes a dream as if you are stuck in somewhere in an infinitely nested set of dreams designed to deprive you of all of the fun in your existence.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

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KingTip
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby KingTip » Wed Jun 18, 2014 6:47 pm UTC

good news: you find out that anything touching your body when you "wake up from the dream" will be stuck in the loop as well. Now you have a highly specialized team working to figure it out with you
I'm baaaaaaaaack! ( <- sort of ironic cause I left for a little bit, but I might be back...)

Look around you
Strex.
Look inside you
Strex.
Go to sleep
Strex.
Believe in a smiling god.

StrexCorp.
It is everything.


...

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Yablo
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Location: Juneau, Alaska

Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Yablo » Wed Jun 18, 2014 10:07 pm UTC

Bad news: Due to the nature of the dreams, your highly specialized team lists Priority #1 as "Deprive you of all the fun in your existence", and Priority #2 as "Figure it out".
If you like Call of Cthulhu and modern government conspiracy, check out my Delta Green thread.
Please feel free to ask questions or leave comments.

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KingTip
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby KingTip » Thu Jun 19, 2014 8:13 am UTC

good news:you took a few days/dreams of having no fun, and your team fixes it.
I'm baaaaaaaaack! ( <- sort of ironic cause I left for a little bit, but I might be back...)

Look around you
Strex.
Look inside you
Strex.
Go to sleep
Strex.
Believe in a smiling god.

StrexCorp.
It is everything.


...

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Queen Arasene
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Location: Here.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Queen Arasene » Fri Jun 20, 2014 12:09 pm UTC

Bad news: They do so by killing you.
It's Magic. I ain't gonna explain shit.

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Fri Jun 20, 2014 12:30 pm UTC

Good news: there is a heaven.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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bug sniper
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby bug sniper » Fri Jun 20, 2014 3:52 pm UTC

Bad News: It is only another layer of your dream after you woke up from an inner dream.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

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Yablo
Posts: 633
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2012 9:57 am UTC
Location: Juneau, Alaska

Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Yablo » Fri Jun 20, 2014 5:42 pm UTC

Good news: Your team "fixes" it once again.
If you like Call of Cthulhu and modern government conspiracy, check out my Delta Green thread.
Please feel free to ask questions or leave comments.

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bug sniper
Posts: 8
Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2011 9:29 am UTC

Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby bug sniper » Fri Jun 20, 2014 9:01 pm UTC

Bad News: They fix it by injecting you with a painful drug.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

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KingTip
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Location: Desert Bluffs Greater Metropolitan Area

Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby KingTip » Sat Jun 21, 2014 4:35 am UTC

good news: Once the pain is gone, you can finally return to walking up your driveway coming home from work.
I'm baaaaaaaaack! ( <- sort of ironic cause I left for a little bit, but I might be back...)

Look around you
Strex.
Look inside you
Strex.
Go to sleep
Strex.
Believe in a smiling god.

StrexCorp.
It is everything.


...

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Neil_Boekend
Posts: 3220
Joined: Fri Mar 01, 2013 6:35 am UTC
Location: Yes.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Sat Jun 21, 2014 3:17 pm UTC

Bad news: an anvil drops on your head.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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KingTip
Posts: 8
Joined: Sat Dec 22, 2012 7:20 pm UTC
Location: Desert Bluffs Greater Metropolitan Area

Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby KingTip » Sat Jun 21, 2014 10:20 pm UTC

Good news: it is a balloon anvil.
I'm baaaaaaaaack! ( <- sort of ironic cause I left for a little bit, but I might be back...)

Look around you
Strex.
Look inside you
Strex.
Go to sleep
Strex.
Believe in a smiling god.

StrexCorp.
It is everything.


...

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Queen Arasene
Posts: 5
Joined: Sat Oct 08, 2011 8:25 am UTC
Location: Here.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Queen Arasene » Sun Jun 22, 2014 12:00 pm UTC

Bad news: It falls fast enough to do serious damage to your head anyways.
It's Magic. I ain't gonna explain shit.

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Yablo
Posts: 633
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2012 9:57 am UTC
Location: Juneau, Alaska

Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Yablo » Thu Jun 26, 2014 5:51 pm UTC

Good news: You have a cartoon helmet and just enough time to put it on.
If you like Call of Cthulhu and modern government conspiracy, check out my Delta Green thread.
Please feel free to ask questions or leave comments.

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KingTip
Posts: 8
Joined: Sat Dec 22, 2012 7:20 pm UTC
Location: Desert Bluffs Greater Metropolitan Area

Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby KingTip » Sat Jun 28, 2014 11:57 pm UTC

bad news: the balloon anvil break you helmet and flattens you, since this is cartoons
I'm baaaaaaaaack! ( <- sort of ironic cause I left for a little bit, but I might be back...)

Look around you
Strex.
Look inside you
Strex.
Go to sleep
Strex.
Believe in a smiling god.

StrexCorp.
It is everything.


...

User avatar
Neil_Boekend
Posts: 3220
Joined: Fri Mar 01, 2013 6:35 am UTC
Location: Yes.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Mon Jun 30, 2014 6:17 am UTC

Good news: putting your thumb in your mouth and blowing really hard gets you back in shape.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

Pingouin7
Posts: 91
Joined: Thu Oct 27, 2011 4:50 pm UTC
Location: ~/

Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Pingouin7 » Mon Jun 30, 2014 5:06 pm UTC

Bad news: your body exploded into pieces, so you don't have a thumb anymore.
Dason wrote:
Kewangji wrote:I confess I am actually scared of peanuts, and tend to avoid them, given how lethal they are to some people.

I'm not. I do my part in the fight against peanuts by destroying them with my powerful teeth. Take that peanut! How does being digested feel!?

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Whizbang
The Best Reporter
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Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2012 7:50 pm UTC
Location: New Hampshire, USA

Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Whizbang » Mon Jun 30, 2014 6:40 pm UTC

Good News: All the little pieces turn to mini-you's. They run around waving their hands over their heads and screaming. They circle once, then run into each other, and form a full-size you.

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Neil_Boekend
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Location: Yes.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Tue Jul 01, 2014 2:36 pm UTC

Bad news: You are now your own evil twin.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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Queen Arasene
Posts: 5
Joined: Sat Oct 08, 2011 8:25 am UTC
Location: Here.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Queen Arasene » Tue Jul 01, 2014 4:55 pm UTC

Good news: It turns out that the original you was the evil twin, which makes you- by extension- the good twin, since you're the "evil" counterpart of your original evil self.
It's Magic. I ain't gonna explain shit.

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Whizbang
The Best Reporter
Posts: 2238
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2012 7:50 pm UTC
Location: New Hampshire, USA

Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Whizbang » Tue Jul 01, 2014 5:01 pm UTC

Bad News: Figuring all that out gave you a migraine.

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Yablo
Posts: 633
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Location: Juneau, Alaska

Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Yablo » Tue Jul 01, 2014 10:38 pm UTC

Good news: You have a pill of some sort in your pocket.
If you like Call of Cthulhu and modern government conspiracy, check out my Delta Green thread.
Please feel free to ask questions or leave comments.

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bug sniper
Posts: 8
Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2011 9:29 am UTC

Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby bug sniper » Wed Jul 02, 2014 3:56 am UTC

Bad News: It's a naloxone pill. While a good functional antidote to overdose from painkillers such as codeine, morphine, and heroin, it also voids your body's own natural painkillers, making your migraine last longer and become more painful if you take it.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

Pingouin7
Posts: 91
Joined: Thu Oct 27, 2011 4:50 pm UTC
Location: ~/

Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Pingouin7 » Wed Jul 02, 2014 7:54 pm UTC

Good news: You didn't take the pill.
Dason wrote:
Kewangji wrote:I confess I am actually scared of peanuts, and tend to avoid them, given how lethal they are to some people.

I'm not. I do my part in the fight against peanuts by destroying them with my powerful teeth. Take that peanut! How does being digested feel!?

User avatar
bug sniper
Posts: 8
Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2011 9:29 am UTC

Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby bug sniper » Wed Jul 02, 2014 9:38 pm UTC

Bad News: Your own endorphin are going to stop your heart now that you've refused to take your naloxone.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

User avatar
Neil_Boekend
Posts: 3220
Joined: Fri Mar 01, 2013 6:35 am UTC
Location: Yes.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Thu Jul 03, 2014 4:30 am UTC

Good news: you reincarnate as a rich and handsome prince or rich and beautiful princess.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

User avatar
bug sniper
Posts: 8
Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2011 9:29 am UTC

Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby bug sniper » Thu Jul 03, 2014 4:45 am UTC

Bad News: You become an orphan when the peasants revolt and the royal guards stab your father.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

User avatar
Neil_Boekend
Posts: 3220
Joined: Fri Mar 01, 2013 6:35 am UTC
Location: Yes.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Thu Jul 03, 2014 5:29 am UTC

Good news: This harsh but simple life suits you better than the education on how to run a country. You enjoy your self for the first time in your life. Granted, the most fun is to be had kicking people's faces in, but it is a lot of fun.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his


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