Page 197 of 219

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2014 10:08 pm UTC
by patzer
Bad news: As a toilet cleaner.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2014 10:15 pm UTC
by Tomlidich the second
Good news: the pee problem has been fixed, and the economy bounced back, so no more toilet cleaning.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2014 10:27 pm UTC
by patzer
Bad news: One of the side-effects of the economy bouncing back is a burst of growth in the baked-beans market. It is decided that toilet cleaners such as yourself are still needed.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2014 10:28 pm UTC
by Tomlidich the second
good news: this in no way obligates you to keep your job, however.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2014 11:06 pm UTC
by patzer
Bad news: nobody else wants the job so if you leave the whole town will hate you.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2014 8:32 am UTC
by Queen Arasene
Good news: There are other cities around where you can get better jobs.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2014 4:03 pm UTC
by Tomlidich the second
Bad news: Everyone in your town won't let you leave now.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2014 6:06 pm UTC
by patzer
Good news: You have a hot air balloon that will allow you to escape.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Thu May 01, 2014 3:52 pm UTC
by Tomlidich the second
Bad news: you lift off before dorothy is able to join you.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Sat May 03, 2014 6:12 am UTC
by patzer
Good news: You didn't want Dorothy anyway.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Mon May 05, 2014 3:58 pm UTC
by Tomlidich the second
Bad news: she has a surface-to-air missile launcher, and she looks PISSED.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Mon May 05, 2014 4:10 pm UTC
by patzer
Good news: You have a missile shield.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Mon May 05, 2014 5:18 pm UTC
by WarDaft
Bad news: It is literally a tower shield made out of live missiles.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Mon May 05, 2014 9:09 pm UTC
by Tomlidich the second
Good news: this means you have some missiles to lob back at her.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Mon May 05, 2014 9:32 pm UTC
by patzer
Bad news: the missiles are too heavy for you to throw.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Tue May 06, 2014 9:13 am UTC
by Queen Arasene
Good news: You're in the air, so you just need to drop them!

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Tue May 06, 2014 3:06 pm UTC
by Tomlidich the second
Bad news: While thinking about what to do, your air-faring vessel has been struck by a missile!

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Tue May 06, 2014 6:44 pm UTC
by WarDaft
Good news: This happens to you a lot, so you know just what to do next!

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Thu May 08, 2014 4:42 am UTC
by faubiguy
Bad News: You jump out of the balloon as you had done before, but this time no flying unicorn appears to catch your fall.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Thu May 08, 2014 7:08 am UTC
by bug sniper
Good News: You can stomp on the missiles and use Newton's third law to propel yourself to a safe location, while accruing a large number of points in the process.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Thu May 08, 2014 7:59 am UTC
by Neil_Boekend
Bad news, the missiles explode the instant you stomp on them. It hurts.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Thu May 08, 2014 9:42 am UTC
by patzer
Good news: You are propelled away quickly, so it doesn't hurt for long. Much like tapping a red-hot poker.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Thu May 08, 2014 9:52 am UTC
by Neil_Boekend
Bad news: Not all parts of you are propelled in the same direction.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Thu May 08, 2014 9:56 am UTC
by WarDaft
Good news: You weren't terribly fond of those parts anyway.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Fri May 09, 2014 8:28 am UTC
by patzer
Bad news: They were necessary for your survival.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Fri May 09, 2014 9:49 am UTC
by Neil_Boekend
Good news: Death is only the beginning.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Fri May 09, 2014 4:09 pm UTC
by patzer
Bad news: It's the beginning of an indefinitely long stay in a cryopreservation chamber.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Sat May 10, 2014 8:37 pm UTC
by Queen Arasene
Good news: You always wanted to be in one of those anyway!

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Wed May 14, 2014 7:35 pm UTC
by bug sniper
Bad News: In the future when suspended animation is over, somehow, humanity is enslaved under the descendants of Randall Munroe, the founder of xkcd.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Wed May 14, 2014 9:03 pm UTC
by patzer
Good news: You use your knowledge of obscure xkcd references to escape the enslavement.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Thu May 15, 2014 11:57 am UTC
by Queen Arasene
Bad news: The rest of humanity is still being enslaved.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Thu May 15, 2014 8:18 pm UTC
by bug sniper
Good News: You get to control some of these humans.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Mon May 19, 2014 10:34 pm UTC
by Tomlidich the second
Bad news: randall wants to have you made an example of, for challenging his power. (he was cryopreserved as well)

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Sat May 24, 2014 6:48 pm UTC
by jazzman616
Good news: Randall appreciates your bravery, so the example to be made of you is positive.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Wed May 28, 2014 9:00 am UTC
by bug sniper
Bad News: This means you are stripped of your electrons while Randall places you in his electrical torture chamber.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Wed May 28, 2014 9:56 am UTC
by patzer
Good news: "torture chamber" is a misnomer. It mostly tickles.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Wed May 28, 2014 3:27 pm UTC
by bug sniper
Bad News: That tickling feeling is your brain being scanned for rebellious thoughts.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Fri May 30, 2014 5:06 pm UTC
by Tomlidich the second
Good news: through mental focus, you are able to hide all rebellious thoughts from the machine.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Fri May 30, 2014 6:20 pm UTC
by bug sniper
Bad News: It picks up some of the embarrassing pornography you were looking at.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Fri May 30, 2014 6:55 pm UTC
by Yablo
Good news: It's only embarrassing because it's robot porn. The machine gives you a clean Bill of Thought in exchange for copies of your robot porn thoughts.