Page 196 of 219

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2014 11:08 pm UTC
by Tomlidich the second
Bad news: It also makes you completely unable to understand most things due to the severity of the accent, but it also makes everything hilarious.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2014 8:52 am UTC
by Queen Arasene
Good news: it makes everything hilarious.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2014 10:51 am UTC
by voicedotter
bad news: they are laughing at you not with you

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2014 10:59 pm UTC
by bug sniper
Good News: You're a comedian so you can profit off of all this laughter.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2014 11:02 pm UTC
by Bartimaeus
Bad News: Your agent gets 99% of what you make.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2014 11:09 pm UTC
by bug sniper
Good News: They've already paid you a subjectively large amount of money in advance.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Tue Apr 08, 2014 11:57 am UTC
by Queen Arasene
Bad news: It was a large amount of money in comparison to your usual, 5$/day pay, so it's still almost nothing. You're sad.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2014 4:36 pm UTC
by Tomlidich the second
Good news: A different agent thinks you are a class act, and wants to hire you for 10,000 dollars a day.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2014 7:54 pm UTC
by bug sniper
Bad News: He'll hire you to work in a special stage in Greenland.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2014 7:17 am UTC
by Queen Arasene
Good news: In this reality, Greenland is a really nice place.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2014 10:14 am UTC
by patzer
Bad News: The part of Greenland you're performing in isn't.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2014 10:28 pm UTC
by Tomlidich the second
Good news: this gig comes with private security.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2014 10:48 am UTC
by voicedotter
Bad news: they're not very good

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2014 11:53 am UTC
by Queen Arasene
Good news: You are.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2014 5:05 pm UTC
by Tomlidich the second
Bad news: You are unarmed.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2014 9:34 am UTC
by Queen Arasene
Good news: Nobody's attacking you, so there is no need to be armed.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2014 3:28 am UTC
by bug sniper
Bad News: The reason why Greenland is a nice place is that the whole world never came through with a solution to global warming. The gasoline companies have dominated politics and public opinion using lobbyists and "Don't worry" ads. Temperatures worldwide have risen by 30 degrees F in the last century, and almost half of the land mass has become desert.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 4:03 pm UTC
by Tomlidich the second
Good news: The government forced the oil companies to fund a solution, which they found. a global cooling trend has begun, which will complete in 5 years.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 11:54 pm UTC
by Yablo
Bad news: You sold everything you owned, and maxed out your credit to invest in air conditioning research which will complete in 6 years.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 11:59 pm UTC
by PeteP
Good news, the global cooling severely overshoots its goal and it turns out that your air conditioners suck at their intended task but are great heaters.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2014 4:53 pm UTC
by KingTip
Bad New, scientists have discovered that your air conditioning "heaters" are producing toxic gasses!

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Sun Apr 20, 2014 1:25 pm UTC
by patzer
Good news: they're not very toxic. In fact, it would take over 1000 years of breathing them to kill you.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2014 2:01 am UTC
by KingTip
bad news: With advancing technology your air conditioning heaters will become more and more toxic over the 1000 years, killing everyone quicker.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2014 3:07 pm UTC
by patzer
Good news: the advancing technology also creates cheap air detoxifiers.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2014 9:04 pm UTC
by Rhombic
Bad News: Your cat likes to urinate in the detoxification devices rendering them useless and emitting harmful amines into the air.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2014 10:48 pm UTC
by KingTip
Good news: With the advancing technology real cats that urinate are useless, while everyone is buying the new robo-cat that does not urinate!

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2014 11:10 pm UTC
by Tomlidich the second
Bad news: the cats catch wind of this and step up their plan of world domination.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2014 11:29 pm UTC
by patzer
Good news: It's not a very good plan.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Tue Apr 22, 2014 1:43 am UTC
by KingTip
Bad news: The Sentient Cats went on with their bad world domination plan, Killing all robot cats, and living cats too. Now dogs are urinating in the detoxication devices.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2014 8:12 am UTC
by Queen Arasene
Good news: You like dogs.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2014 4:29 pm UTC
by Tomlidich the second
Bad news: they don't like you.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2014 11:17 pm UTC
by KingTip
Good news: Dog's urination does not affect the detoxification devices as much as cats urination did

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2014 2:53 pm UTC
by Tomlidich the second
Bad news: it still smells horrible.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2014 6:32 am UTC
by Queen Arasene
Good news: People get used to it.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2014 12:25 pm UTC
by KingTip
bad news: the smell of the dogs pee is advancing toxication in everyones body

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2014 4:48 pm UTC
by Tomlidich the second
Good news: sanitation departments quickly correct the pee problem.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2014 7:01 pm UTC
by bug sniper
Bad news: Cities all over the world go bankrupt because they can't afford the expensive pensions they pay to the sanitation workers.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2014 11:24 pm UTC
by Tomlidich the second
Good news: they found a way to make their profits back by selling the collected waste.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2014 2:53 am UTC
by forward4
Bad news: The companies take advantage of the workers, causing all to go on strike or quit their jobs.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2014 9:55 pm UTC
by Yablo
Good news: You're hired!