Good News, Bad News

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faubiguy
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby faubiguy » Fri Mar 14, 2014 7:42 pm UTC

Good news: Space rodents are allergic to the sight of grapes, so they leave you alone.

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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Tomlidich the second » Tue Mar 18, 2014 10:22 pm UTC

bad news- They instead murder your entire family.
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Yablo
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Yablo » Wed Mar 19, 2014 6:40 pm UTC

Good news: The life insurance policies you recently took out on your family members provide for an added bonus in just such a situation.
If you like Call of Cthulhu and modern government conspiracy, check out my Delta Green thread.
Please feel free to ask questions or leave comments.

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Whizbang
The Best Reporter
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Whizbang » Wed Mar 19, 2014 6:54 pm UTC

Bad news: Death and Taxes, my friend. Death and taxes. All taxes are raised heavily to pay for a new branch of the military designed to fight off the invading space rodents.

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Queen Arasene
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Queen Arasene » Fri Mar 21, 2014 4:05 pm UTC

Good news: You don't pay taxes anyway.
It's Magic. I ain't gonna explain shit.

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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Tomlidich the second » Fri Mar 21, 2014 11:14 pm UTC

bad news: they come up about a dollar short on their military budget, and can't fight off the rodents.
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bug sniper
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby bug sniper » Sat Mar 22, 2014 7:35 am UTC

Geed News: The government formed its first ever kickstarter to raise the remainder through crowdfunding
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

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PeteP
What the peck?
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby PeteP » Sat Mar 22, 2014 11:09 am UTC

Bad News: They put the goal at an unrealistically high level.

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bug sniper
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby bug sniper » Sat Mar 22, 2014 5:19 pm UTC

Good News: They cancel it early when they have enough money for the first stretch goal, which is to create a space rodent animation in addition to defeating the space rodents.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

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patzer
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby patzer » Sat Mar 22, 2014 5:34 pm UTC

Bad News: Government officials misinterpreted the instruction and created real space rodents instead of animated ones.
If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family Anatidae on our hands. –Douglas Adams

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Queen Arasene
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Queen Arasene » Sun Mar 23, 2014 12:56 am UTC

Good news: This confuses the Space Rodents so they begin fighting each other!
It's Magic. I ain't gonna explain shit.

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Queen Arasene
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Queen Arasene » Sun Mar 23, 2014 12:56 am UTC

Good news: This confuses the Space Rodents so they begin fighting each other!
It's Magic. I ain't gonna explain shit.

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Bartimaeus
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Bartimaeus » Sun Mar 23, 2014 4:03 am UTC

Bad News: In all of the confusion, you burnt your toast!

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Yablo
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Yablo » Mon Mar 24, 2014 5:49 pm UTC

Good news: You can scrape off all the dark bits, and it's not so bad really.
If you like Call of Cthulhu and modern government conspiracy, check out my Delta Green thread.
Please feel free to ask questions or leave comments.

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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Tomlidich the second » Mon Mar 24, 2014 11:38 pm UTC

bad news: the dark bits attract dark, evil versions of yourself from parallel universes.
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Queen Arasene
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Queen Arasene » Tue Mar 25, 2014 8:58 am UTC

Good news: They like you and decide to become your loyal followers.
It's Magic. I ain't gonna explain shit.

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Bartimaeus
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Location: Somewhere near NYC, but nobody's heard of

Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Bartimaeus » Tue Mar 25, 2014 12:54 pm UTC

Bad News: Now there isn't enough toast for all of the you's. (Speaking of multiple you's, this is amusing.)

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Yablo
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Yablo » Tue Mar 25, 2014 5:56 pm UTC

Good news: The evil you's hijack a bread truck.
If you like Call of Cthulhu and modern government conspiracy, check out my Delta Green thread.
Please feel free to ask questions or leave comments.

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Earthling on Mars
Morning
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Earthling on Mars » Tue Mar 25, 2014 6:39 pm UTC

Bad news: The truck driver is a bodybuilder who is quite capable of beating all the you's up.

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Bartimaeus
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Bartimaeus » Tue Mar 25, 2014 6:47 pm UTC

Good News: The you's have a stun gun. The driver is dispatched easily, and the bread is yours'!

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Yablo
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Yablo » Tue Mar 25, 2014 10:53 pm UTC

Bad news: The truck driver had been on a joy ride with the bread truck for nearly a year of across-the-country trial gym memberships. Your newly acquired bread has long been stale.
If you like Call of Cthulhu and modern government conspiracy, check out my Delta Green thread.
Please feel free to ask questions or leave comments.

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Bartimaeus
Posts: 111
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Location: Somewhere near NYC, but nobody's heard of

Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Bartimaeus » Wed Mar 26, 2014 1:24 am UTC

Good News: Loving bread, the driver kept his own secret stash, which isn't at all stale!

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Queen Arasene
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Queen Arasene » Wed Mar 26, 2014 12:31 pm UTC

Bad news: He ate it.
It's Magic. I ain't gonna explain shit.

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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Tomlidich the second » Wed Mar 26, 2014 10:31 pm UTC

Good news: the truck is still pretty valuable, even without all that bread.... the evil you's start to have ideas.
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Bartimaeus
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Bartimaeus » Thu Mar 27, 2014 1:20 am UTC

Bad News: The plans only involve the evil you's. Factions are emerging!

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Queen Arasene
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Queen Arasene » Thu Mar 27, 2014 12:54 pm UTC

Good news: You manage to unite all factions by proclaiming yourself to be the supreme Dictator of the you's.
It's Magic. I ain't gonna explain shit.

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Bartimaeus
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Bartimaeus » Thu Mar 27, 2014 1:33 pm UTC

Bad News: You're still on US soil. The police come to call.

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Yablo
Posts: 633
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Location: Juneau, Alaska

Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Yablo » Thu Mar 27, 2014 6:53 pm UTC

Good news: The First Amendment gives you the right to peaceable assembly.
If you like Call of Cthulhu and modern government conspiracy, check out my Delta Green thread.
Please feel free to ask questions or leave comments.

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Queen Arasene
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Queen Arasene » Fri Mar 28, 2014 8:33 am UTC

Bad news: The Arab Spring reaches your newly formed Dictatorship.
It's Magic. I ain't gonna explain shit.

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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Tomlidich the second » Fri Mar 28, 2014 6:55 pm UTC

good news: they wish to bow to your rule.
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Yablo
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Location: Juneau, Alaska

Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Yablo » Fri Mar 28, 2014 10:39 pm UTC

Bad news: The evil you's form an alliance with the space rodents, cat wizard god, angry arabs, Big Bird, and the police.
If you like Call of Cthulhu and modern government conspiracy, check out my Delta Green thread.
Please feel free to ask questions or leave comments.

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Bartimaeus
Posts: 111
Joined: Tue Oct 14, 2008 3:35 pm UTC
Location: Somewhere near NYC, but nobody's heard of

Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Bartimaeus » Sat Mar 29, 2014 2:36 am UTC

Good News: You just went to the store and bought some bread.

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Queen Arasene
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Queen Arasene » Sat Mar 29, 2014 12:33 pm UTC

Bad news: The bread was stale because the store took it from the truck.
It's Magic. I ain't gonna explain shit.

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Bartimaeus
Posts: 111
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Location: Somewhere near NYC, but nobody's heard of

Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Bartimaeus » Sat Mar 29, 2014 6:09 pm UTC

Good News: You love bread so much that you don't care.

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orangedragonfire
Posts: 13
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Location: It exists. Probably.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby orangedragonfire » Sat Mar 29, 2014 7:04 pm UTC

Bad News: Eating the bread still makes you sick.

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Bartimaeus
Posts: 111
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Location: Somewhere near NYC, but nobody's heard of

Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Bartimaeus » Sat Mar 29, 2014 8:49 pm UTC

Good News: You have some medicine to make you not sick.

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orangedragonfire
Posts: 13
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Location: It exists. Probably.

Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby orangedragonfire » Sat Mar 29, 2014 9:09 pm UTC

Bad News: You can't remember where you have the medicine.

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Queen Arasene
Posts: 5
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Queen Arasene » Sat Mar 29, 2014 10:41 pm UTC

Good news: You find the medicine in your pocket by chance.
It's Magic. I ain't gonna explain shit.

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Whizbang
The Best Reporter
Posts: 2238
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Location: New Hampshire, USA

Re: jammin News, Bad News

Postby Whizbang » Mon Mar 31, 2014 8:51 pm UTC

Bad News: The medicine is somehow stuck on a couple of threads in your pocket. The girl you've been trying to impress sees you with your hand in your pocket, furiously attempting to get the medicine out. She assumes. You blush. She assumes her assumption is correct. You yank your hand out of your pocket and run away. She later starts dating some dickhead who mistreats her and degrades her self-esteem. Eventually she takes her own life. You read about it in the newspaper years later. You're so sad, you stop what you're doing and take your hand out of your pocket.

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Djehutynakht
Posts: 1546
Joined: Thu Feb 10, 2011 1:37 am UTC

Re: jammin News, Bad News

Postby Djehutynakht » Tue Apr 01, 2014 6:01 am UTC

Good news: one of the side effects of this medication seems to be hearing everything in a (presumably) Jamaican accent.


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