Corrupt-a-wish

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drconcon
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby drconcon » Mon Jul 28, 2008 10:57 pm UTC

Granted, but it's not cream from a cow... It's cream from yo' momma.

I wish I could play my music as loud as I want whenever I want.
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quintopia
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby quintopia » Tue Jul 29, 2008 1:22 am UTC

Granted. You get a pair of Bose headphones. Someone tries to warn you of a fire and you can't hear the alarms going off, and by the time you realize, you're trapped and burn up in a horrible, pitiful, crunchy, catastrophe of a corpse.

I wish someone would stop wanking to naked pictures of their mom long enough to grant this wish.

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abrenecki
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby abrenecki » Tue Jul 29, 2008 9:33 am UTC

Granted. However, everyone else in the thread is wanking to pictures of your mum.

I wish to be able to scream (high-pitched and death-metal) in the proper way without ruining my voice, be able to fully articulate words and not sound like a cat dying.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Seremite » Tue Jul 29, 2008 11:46 pm UTC

Granted. You scream for hours on end without ruining for voice. Your ears (and the ears of everyone in your vicinity), however, do not fair so well.

I wish for a red crayon.
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quintopia
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby quintopia » Wed Jul 30, 2008 6:31 am UTC

Granted, but it's ORANGE-RED!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

I wish for an impetus.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Outlaw Ralph » Wed Jul 30, 2008 7:02 am UTC

Granted, but in comes in the form a race car hitting you at full speed

I wish that it would rain

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quintopia
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby quintopia » Wed Jul 30, 2008 7:23 am UTC

Granted, it rains for 40 days and 40 nights, but you have no ark in sight! Everything you love is carried away.

I wish I could do everything Super Mario can do, except that I don't shrink when evil things touch me.

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princessdiz
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby princessdiz » Wed Jul 30, 2008 8:28 am UTC

Granted, but the princess is in the OTHER other castle.

I wish I could have an endless amount of wishes.

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quintopia
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby quintopia » Wed Jul 30, 2008 9:33 am UTC

Granted, but you also are infinitely corrupted.

I wish to throw a fireball at The Man.

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falcon434
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby falcon434 » Wed Jul 30, 2008 12:53 pm UTC

granted, but it missed.


i wish i had a sabre that was pitch black except for the hilt, and could destroy any enemy i came across.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Seremite » Wed Jul 30, 2008 8:47 pm UTC

Granted, but one day you second guess yourself, it determines you are your own enemy and kills you.

I wish for something to read.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby 3fj » Wed Jul 30, 2008 9:17 pm UTC

Granted. Your not hungry. Ever. In exchange, you lose your tastebuds.

You kill yourself due to not being able to "taste" your g/bf ever again.

I wish for free, quick, comfortable travel wherever i like.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ShaKri » Wed Jul 30, 2008 9:26 pm UTC

granted... but before you get to utilise it you are mugged and shot in the face 7 times... you are now a vegitable...

i wish for nice things to happen to me :) .
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quintopia
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby quintopia » Wed Jul 30, 2008 11:03 pm UTC

Granted, one nice thing happens for every five terrible things.

I wish to have the money to build my own water park in my backyard.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Seremite » Thu Jul 31, 2008 5:13 am UTC

Granted, but due to global warming there is a serious drought resulting in your inability to utilize such water park. And water slides are no fun without the water. they just hurt.

I wish my dog would stop barking
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Outlaw Ralph
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Outlaw Ralph » Thu Jul 31, 2008 5:58 am UTC

Granted, it stops barking. Instead it just says the word bark all the time "Bark! Bark bark bark bark ...."etc.

I wish I had telekenisis

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby quintopia » Thu Jul 31, 2008 7:14 am UTC

Granted, but you tear apart your high school prom and then kill your mother.

I wish I could speak Jambanese.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Megatriorchis » Thu Jul 31, 2008 8:29 am UTC

Granted, but you can't speak any other language.

I wish I had lots of orange Tic Tacs.
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princessdiz
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby princessdiz » Thu Jul 31, 2008 8:35 am UTC

Granted but you spend the rest of your life coloring white tic tacs with an orange sharpie.

I wish women would remember not to wear dresses or skirts when riding a moped.
some things just can't be unseen

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Bulvox » Thu Jul 31, 2008 8:36 am UTC

granted, but they taste like lemons.

i wish life came with subtitles.
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Lenary
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Lenary » Thu Jul 31, 2008 12:17 pm UTC

granted, but someone tries to sing along thinking it's kareoke...also your thoughts are on the subtitles too

i wish i could decide on something to eat for this weekend
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Irrefutable » Thu Jul 31, 2008 12:46 pm UTC

Granted, you decide on a live grizley bear. Predictably violent consequences occur.

I wish i could dance
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sugarhyped
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby sugarhyped » Thu Jul 31, 2008 3:29 pm UTC

princessdiz wrote:Granted but you spend the rest of your life coloring white tic tacs with an orange sharpie.

I wish women would remember not to wear dresses or skirts when riding a moped.
some things just can't be unseen


Granted, they all ride naked now.

Irrefutable
Granted, you can never stop moon walking. Stairs are an interesting challenge for you.

I wish I could finish my blogs for my UWP class already.
I wanted a signature. I don't know what to put here yet.

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quintopia
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby quintopia » Fri Aug 01, 2008 2:48 am UTC

Mekka lekka hi mekka chaney ho.

Alright, now that I can speak English again:
Granted, you skip finishing the blogs and the next 30 years of your life, a la "Click." Cristopher Walken decides you don't get a second chance.

I wish I were invulnerable to anything I wanted to be invulnerable to, precisely when I wanted to be invulnerable to it.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Babam » Fri Aug 01, 2008 3:00 am UTC

You become immune to love on accident, thus you may only have though hand.

I wish all of the other wishes here were uncorrupted
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sugarhyped
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby sugarhyped » Fri Aug 01, 2008 4:05 am UTC

Granted... that is not really satisfying is it?

I wish Chelsea does not go home on sytycd tonight. I read that she does on youtube.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Bulvox » Fri Aug 01, 2008 4:46 am UTC

not granted

i wish that my friends weren't so naive about shock sites.
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quintopia
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby quintopia » Fri Aug 01, 2008 5:38 am UTC

Granted. . .still not satisfying is it?

I wish my bed were 72 degrees F year-round no matter what (or whom) I'm doing in it.

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dragongrrl
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby dragongrrl » Fri Aug 01, 2008 8:51 am UTC

Granted. However, your bed is now placed in a public place. And any time you ever try to go to sleep/sleep with someone, someone else will either wake you up or arrest you. You consequently go insane.

I wish that I was a dragon, but lived in the normal world, i.e. this one, but that nobody cared and I wasn't some freak show-type thing.
Teacher: "Right, you are no longer allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of your actions."

Damn. There goes my education.

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abrenecki
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby abrenecki » Fri Aug 01, 2008 8:58 am UTC

Granted. You sneeze on someone and set them on fire. You are prosecuted, and subsequently die somehow.
I wish I could type telepathically, on any given computer in any given program, without any other telepathic effects, or losing any other form of communication.

Edited to reflect the fact that the word tuesday does not mean communication.

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dragongrrl
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby dragongrrl » Fri Aug 01, 2008 9:29 am UTC

Granted, however all this mental typing soon takes its toll, and not only does your brain get RSI but your hands wither away and die from lack of use. Not to mention keyboards rise up and kill your for stealing their work.

I wish I was a dragon, in the real world, but could never harm humans, and was accepted by all.
Teacher: "Right, you are no longer allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of your actions."

Damn. There goes my education.

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abrenecki
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby abrenecki » Fri Aug 01, 2008 9:40 am UTC

Granted. You constantly bang your head on doorframes.

I wish for an Aluminium Macbook.

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quintopia
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby quintopia » Fri Aug 01, 2008 1:51 pm UTC

abrenecki wrote:Granted. You constantly bang your head on doorframes.


ROFL! Good show!

abrenecki wrote:I wish for an Aluminium Macbook.


Greanted, but it's such a thin sheet of aluminum it bends right away, and you have to keep replacing the display at $500 a pop.

I wish for two stainless steel rings, identical and just large enough to be loose over the base of my middle finger, but still rather attractively carved.

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abrenecki
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby abrenecki » Fri Aug 01, 2008 2:54 pm UTC

Granted. While forging the rings, they accidentally burn your middle fingers off while checking the size.

I wish for a latop that had the battery life, form factor and weight of a MacBook Air, the specs of a top-of-the-line Mac Pro, the durability of a Toughbook, and triple-booted Mac OS X Leopard, Fedora 9 and Windows Vista easily (and that all these are upgradeable).

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Grooving Tony
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Grooving Tony » Fri Aug 01, 2008 3:20 pm UTC

granted it over heats as soon as you switch it on because there is to much stuff to do and not enough air to cool the computer

I wish my job was actually fun and challenge
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Seremite » Fri Aug 01, 2008 6:27 pm UTC

Granted, but it's so challenging you fail, and are fired, and have to get a shitty desk job.

I wish I had a cat.
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quintopia
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby quintopia » Fri Aug 01, 2008 11:42 pm UTC

Granted. I'm mailing you a bobcat.

I wish my dad would go to the gym and get fit.

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the white hatter
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby the white hatter » Sat Aug 02, 2008 1:36 am UTC

granted. he no longer has time for you

I wish I could get my work check easier
hello kitty, are you on my computer? or in my head?

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dragongrrl
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby dragongrrl » Sat Aug 02, 2008 2:27 am UTC

Granted. It's as easy as pie. Unfortunatley, your pay is cut by 99%. Which is why it's so easy to get.

I wish my coffee was still warm.
Teacher: "Right, you are no longer allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of your actions."

Damn. There goes my education.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Megatriorchis » Sat Aug 02, 2008 2:59 am UTC

Granted, but it tastes terrible.

I wish I had a good job with good pay that's near my apartment.
The Humanity for the Undead Coalition: Bringing Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness to the Undead and Other Supernatural Humanoids. Zombies don't eat people; people eat people!


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