Corrupt-a-wish

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phillip1882
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Sat Jan 19, 2019 12:14 am UTC

granted, boredom.

i wish for a good night sleep, every night.
good luck have fun

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svenman
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby svenman » Sat Jan 19, 2019 9:45 am UTC

Granted. You sleep so well you keep on sleeping through all of your days too.

I wish I could get around to reading a good book.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Anonim23 » Sat Jan 19, 2019 8:20 pm UTC

Granted. You find the best book that was ever created, but your eyesight gets more and more blurry with every page you read. You only make it through the first chapter.

I wish for an invincible army that I will conquer the world with.

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ucim
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Sat Jan 19, 2019 10:47 pm UTC

Granted. Behind door number two is an unlimited supply of cockroaches.

I wish the mouse pointer wouldn't keep disappearing from my computer.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Heartfelt thanks from addams and from me - you really made a difference.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Sun Jan 20, 2019 3:40 am UTC

Granted. Your mouse is now 5 inches long and it covers up part of your screen while you're watching videos or playing games or just surfing the internet. You can't shrink it or make it disappear.

I wish for an artichoke.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Sun Jan 20, 2019 7:07 pm UTC

granted, you get an artificial choke.

i wish charity was more helpful.
good luck have fun

Anonim23
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Anonim23 » Sun Jan 20, 2019 7:45 pm UTC

Granted. All charity donations are now handled by corrupt people who steal all the money. It really helps them in getting richer.

I wish to be able to time-travel and alter the past.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Mon Jan 21, 2019 7:42 pm UTC

granted, your ability to move into the past is at 1 second per second, and you can't stop. Ever.

I wish that i could go home again.
"Does this smell like chloroform to you?"
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Thu Jan 24, 2019 1:13 am UTC

granted. its not quite the way you remember, but no real problems.

i wish to have a close best friend.
good luck have fun

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Thu Jan 24, 2019 2:51 am UTC

Granted. You are Siamese twins with xir.

I wish everywhere I went, I got fast internet with no problems.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Heartfelt thanks from addams and from me - you really made a difference.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Thu Jan 24, 2019 3:02 pm UTC

granted, you get 99 problems, but fast internet ain't one.

I wish I could transfer 'the length of time someone was supposed to live' to someone else (i.e. take it from one person and give it to another).
"Does this smell like chloroform to you?"
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Thu Jan 24, 2019 3:40 pm UTC

Granted, but (legally speaking) it's murder. A mysterious world class detective starts closing in on you, and you can't use your powers on them because you need to know the face and real name of the detective. After a serious of complicated events, you are ticked into removing your own remaining life.

I wish someone would make a music video using death note clips for the song blank space.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Thu Jan 24, 2019 5:14 pm UTC

granted, no corruption necessary.

I wish I had magic, and lived in a world where such magic was not uncommon.
"Does this smell like chloroform to you?"
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Sat Jan 26, 2019 2:12 am UTC

granted, everyone as a unique ability that fits their character. some use it for good, some ill.


i wish blessings on the poor.
good luck have fun

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bug sniper
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Mon Jan 28, 2019 4:51 am UTC

Granted. Poor people are rounded up and brought to church to listen to sermons that won't actually help themselves.

I wish for a steak made from labgrown meat.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Mon Jan 28, 2019 7:59 pm UTC

granted. human meat. its delicious.

I wish that my intestines would stop being so awful.
"Does this smell like chloroform to you?"
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
nɒʜƚɒɿ_nɒɿɘ

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby svenman » Mon Jan 28, 2019 8:43 pm UTC

Granted. Your intestines stop being, period.

I wish it wouldn't snow tonight.
Apart from Forum Games, mostly active on the One True Thread.
If you need help understanding what's going on there, the xkcd Time Wiki may be useful.

Addams thanks all of us who helped. Her life is much better now.

Randallspeed to all blitzers on the One True Thread!

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Mon Jan 28, 2019 9:19 pm UTC

Granted: suddenly, during an important meeting, the "awe" moves from your intestines to pants.

I wish to not be in that meeting.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Thu Jan 31, 2019 3:22 am UTC

granted, you are in a different state than the one with the meeting.

i wish i could give hope like its candy.
good luck have fun

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ucim
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Fri Feb 01, 2019 3:38 am UTC

Granted. Hope doesn't have candy. So, you can't give up hope. But you also can give up hope. All at the same time. That's how logic works.

I wish to become an evil dictator.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Heartfelt thanks from addams and from me - you really made a difference.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Fri Feb 01, 2019 4:10 pm UTC

Granted, your dictation becomes more evil.

I wish I was not in this meeting.
"Does this smell like chloroform to you?"
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
nɒʜƚɒɿ_nɒɿɘ

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bug sniper
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Fri Feb 01, 2019 5:43 pm UTC

Granted. The product launch happened without your contribution but now you have to do some janitorial duty.

I wish for a bottle of smart water.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Fri Feb 01, 2019 10:03 pm UTC

granted. it costs 3 dollars .

no wish this time.
good luck have fun

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ucim
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Fri Feb 01, 2019 11:00 pm UTC

Not granted Granted Not granted Granted Not granted Granted Not granted Granted Not granted Granted Not granted Granted Not granted Granted ...

You create a time loop wherein you do not wish, but you must wish. The entire universe stops, but nobody notices, because noticing would require the universe to continue forward in time.

I wish for inexpensive LED bulbs whose spectrum matches incandescent bulbs, but whose energy efficiency matched LED bulbs.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Heartfelt thanks from addams and from me - you really made a difference.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby flicky1991 » Sat Feb 02, 2019 11:08 am UTC

Granted, but they're not available in your country.

I wish I could enter the worlds of video games.
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ucim
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Sat Feb 02, 2019 4:43 pm UTC

Granted. You can enter, but you can never leave.

I wish my email account was working properly.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Heartfelt thanks from addams and from me - you really made a difference.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby flicky1991 » Sat Feb 02, 2019 6:29 pm UTC

Granted. You successfully receive lots and lots of spam.

I wish for fearsome powers.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Sat Feb 02, 2019 7:28 pm UTC

granted, you have the power to grant wishes, except your own.

i wish everyone who wants a job has one.
good luck have fun

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby svenman » Sat Feb 02, 2019 7:36 pm UTC

Granted, no corruption necessary. You have the power to contribute to global warming, the degradation of the environment and the exploitation of underdeveloped countries.

Edit: the above was for Flicky. As for you, phillip: Granted. It's the most horrible, dangerous and unhealthy job in the world, though.

I wish I had to work only half as much (at a pleasant job!) while earning twice the money.
Apart from Forum Games, mostly active on the One True Thread.
If you need help understanding what's going on there, the xkcd Time Wiki may be useful.

Addams thanks all of us who helped. Her life is much better now.

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ucim
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Sun Feb 03, 2019 1:45 pm UTC

Granted. Everything costs eight times as much.

I wish I had gotten the letter I was supposed to take to a cousin before my trip there instead of after it.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Heartfelt thanks from addams and from me - you really made a difference.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Mon Feb 04, 2019 5:02 pm UTC

Granted, but you forgot to take it with you when you saw your cousin.

I wish to met Ucim's cousin, for some reason.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Mon Feb 04, 2019 7:37 pm UTC

granted, its you (you are many, many generations removed from your common ancestor, but still cousins).

i wish this coffee didn't suck.
"Does this smell like chloroform to you?"
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
nɒʜƚɒɿ_nɒɿɘ

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phillip1882
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Tue Feb 05, 2019 1:27 am UTC

granted, a new batch was made the way you like it.

i wish for only good thoughts.
good luck have fun

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flicky1991
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby flicky1991 » Tue Feb 05, 2019 8:27 am UTC

Granted. You no longer think about any of the suffering in the world, and as a result are a much less empathetic person.

I wish for a husband.
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phillip1882
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Tue Feb 05, 2019 1:12 pm UTC

granted, he's as friendly as you are.

i wish the food in my fridge to never run out.
good luck have fun

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eran_rathan
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Tue Feb 05, 2019 1:43 pm UTC

granted, it stays where you put it (or if you leave it in there long enough, it just kinda oozes away, no running).

I wish to be immune to all disease.
"Does this smell like chloroform to you?"
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
nɒʜƚɒɿ_nɒɿɘ

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby svenman » Tue Feb 05, 2019 7:48 pm UTC

Granted, you are turned to stone.

I wish turning two households into one were easier.
Apart from Forum Games, mostly active on the One True Thread.
If you need help understanding what's going on there, the xkcd Time Wiki may be useful.

Addams thanks all of us who helped. Her life is much better now.

Randallspeed to all blitzers on the One True Thread!

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Tue Feb 05, 2019 8:42 pm UTC

granted, its about 10% easier.

i wish to enjoy life for the rest of my life.
good luck have fun

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ucim
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Tue Feb 05, 2019 11:31 pm UTC

Granted. You are given a lollypop and then shot to death.

I wish for corrupt corruption.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Heartfelt thanks from addams and from me - you really made a difference.

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eran_rathan
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Wed Feb 06, 2019 4:07 pm UTC

granted, you live in a world where Donald Trump is president.

I wish Batman would punch Donald Trump.
"Does this smell like chloroform to you?"
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
nɒʜƚɒɿ_nɒɿɘ


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