Corrupt-a-wish

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Azrael001
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Azrael001 » Sun Mar 23, 2008 4:44 am UTC

Granted, but with all of your posting you still fall right into my trap. My elaborate plan infects the "Corrupt-a-wish" thread. You die.

I wish that the government didn't kidnap me.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby abrenecki » Sun Mar 23, 2008 4:51 am UTC

Granted. They kill you instead. You die.

I wish my MacBook had a higher colour depth, like my old PowerBook.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Azrael001 » Sun Mar 23, 2008 4:59 am UTC

Granted, your MacBook had a higher colour depth, like your old PowerBook. Unlike your old PowerBook however, your MacBook is unable to handle displaying that higher colour depth. The screen explodes and the shards of glass/plastic/what ever your screen is made out of are shot into your eyes. You are blinded. While searching for help you stumble into traffic. You are are narrowly missed by a full transport truck, which swerves out of the way to avoid you. Unfortunately this causes it's trailer to tip over and split open. You are crushed by the ensuing wave of sewage. You die.

I wish that I was immortal and that I do not age beyond my current age, furthermore I wish to be immune to any form of pain.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby abrenecki » Sun Mar 23, 2008 5:19 am UTC

Azrael001 wrote:I wish that I was immortal and that I do not age beyond my current age, furthermore I wish to be immune to any form of pain.


You are hit by a truck. It should have killed you, but it didn't. However, a news camera happened to be filming this unnatural event, and you become a public figure, and are instantly forced to perform Superman-esque acts of public service, 24-7, for the rest of eternity. Your life becomes a living hell.

I wish I had creativity like Azrael001's last corruption.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Azrael001 » Sun Mar 23, 2008 5:31 am UTC

Granted, but the irony of that statement is so obvious that you are laughed out of the thread. You soon lose interest in the fora as a whole and start actually living your life. You eventually meet a nice girl and settle down. You have 2 kids. One day while you are working overtime, again, your house is broken into. Your wife is raped and killed while your children are kidnapped and sold into the sex trade in a third world country. Your depression turns to rage and you decide to take justice into your own hands. You eventually find those responsible for your loss, but they defeat and humiliate you. You are tortured for months on end until you finally break, you are forced to help those that you tried to fight, with the promise that your children would be returned to you. Years pass. Unbeknown to you, your children escape and become crime fighters themselves. This eventually leads to them trying to stop your crimes. You kill them. It is only then that you realize what you have done. You go mad with grief, then... you die.

I wish that I was working on my homework instead of writing long wish corruptions.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby abrenecki » Sun Mar 23, 2008 5:45 am UTC

Granted. As a result, you never make that wish and it therefore isn't granted. The universe explodes. You die.

I wish that the above corruption comes true, but only up to the 'your house is broken into' sentence, non-inclusive.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Azrael001 » Sun Mar 23, 2008 5:48 am UTC

Granted, instead you house is a gateway to hell, demons (who need only walk through a portal and thus have no need to break in) do all of the nasty stuff that the robbers did in the first corruption. You die.

I wish that I was better at things.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby abrenecki » Sun Mar 23, 2008 6:02 am UTC

Azrael001 wrote:I wish that I was better at things.

Granted. One of those things is parachuting. However, your parachute was packed by someone who isn't better at things. Your parachute doesn't open. You almost die, however you are saved by one of the best doctors in the country. However, one of his colleagues is not one of the best doctors in the country, and leaves something pointy inside you. Another doctor removes this, but accidentally cuts something in the process. You almost die of internal bleeding, but you are yet again saved at the last minute. This leads you to believe that you are immortal, and you later run into a burning building to save the helpless children/puppies/goldfish within. You die.

I wish I could remember anything and everything for ever, including the entire PHP function library and all the bits and pieces required to do my Physics homework. Furthermore, I wish that I could forget anything by choice and only by choice. I also wish there is some sort of protection against paradoxes, embarrassment, or restraining orders caused by deliberately forgetting things.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Azrael001 » Sun Mar 23, 2008 6:31 am UTC

Granted, your brain's storage is quickly filled. Unfortunately you don't realize this until you try to remember something that doesn't fit. To make room, your brain erases your bowel control. In a panic, you make yourself forget everything, in the hopes of regaining control. This fails and you are left an amnesiac. Looking for help, you stumble out into the street and are struck by a a speeding drunk. You fall face first into the ditch. You die.

I wish that things were different.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby abrenecki » Sun Mar 23, 2008 6:59 am UTC

Granted. The thing that is different is the Universal Gravitational Constant (G). It is now negative. Masses repel rather than attract. You go flying off into space. You die.

I wish I had more chocolate (it's currently Easter Sunday in my timezone). I wish for this chocolate to not be poisoned or anything unimaginative like that. Having read the last few corruptions, though, I'm sure it'll be very interesting.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Azrael001 » Sun Mar 23, 2008 7:33 am UTC

Granted, it fills your lungs. You die.

I wish that someone would find where I corrupted someone's wish like that before (I think that it was a wish for cocoa now that I think about it) and corrupt my wish from there in a different way than it was in that spot.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby abrenecki » Sun Mar 23, 2008 7:47 am UTC

Granted. However, the new corruption is inserted into the MySQL DB directly, with the same post ID* as the original. The fora is using either a very old version of MySQL or the latest development build, and this causes it to crash. While this is happening, you were hit by a car, and are now on life support. Back on the ranch, the fora server restarts, but faulty wiring in the PSU causes it to short** and it takes down the entire grid, including your life support machine thingy. However, this does nothing as the hospital has backup power. However, this power is supplied by Sony batteries, which explode and destroy the whole hospital. You die.

*assuming this is the unique primary key
**this faulty wiring is in a place where it only affects things when the server is first turned on. I'm not familiar with the internals of PSUs (or servers for that matter) so forgive me.

I wish I could get 100% in all my Stage 2 Physics assessments, without revision or other hard work, and without my teacher or SSABSA getting suspicious.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby drconcon » Sun Mar 23, 2008 1:08 pm UTC

Granted, you feel guilty and tell your teacher anyways.

I wish I wasn't nervous.
Belial wrote:Never assume you're safe.

That's when the raptors get yah!


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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby parthenos » Sun Mar 23, 2008 3:25 pm UTC

granted, you're on too many drugs to be nervous.

i wish i had some cake. some real, safe cake. chocolate cake.
maybe if this signature is witty enough someone will finally love me.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby drconcon » Sun Mar 23, 2008 4:07 pm UTC

Granted, but it really depends on your definition of "safe"
... And "chocolate"

I wish the things I wish for actually came true.
Belial wrote:Never assume you're safe.

That's when the raptors get yah!


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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby abrenecki » Mon Mar 24, 2008 2:57 am UTC

Granted, but the corruptions come true too. You die. Repeatedly.

I wish I could use my Apple Remote (specifically play/pause and volume) on the real world.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby zomgmouse » Mon Mar 24, 2008 3:32 am UTC

Granted. But it only applies to you, and you only. So people around you are wondering "what the hell is going on?" and kill you.

I wish I could focus.
"Alf Todd," said Ukridge, soaring to an impressive burst of imagery, "has about as much chance as a one-armed blind man in a dark room trying to shove a pound of melted butter into a wild cat's left ear with a red-hot needle." P.G. Wodehouse

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Azrael001 » Mon Mar 24, 2008 3:41 am UTC

i like pi wrote:granted, but J Spade failed.


I wish for next poster to post 10,000 digits of pi (it will please me...)


I just feel like posting this now that I have found it again...

This

Carry on.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby tryptanymph » Mon Mar 24, 2008 3:50 am UTC

zomgmouse wrote:Granted. But it only applies to you, and you only. So people around you are wondering "what the hell is going on?" and kill you.

I wish I could focus.


Granted. You can focus on the tip of your nose. You wander around aimlessly, and get killed by a passing Scientologist.

I wish I had another toffee yoghurt. A safe one.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby UnderRock » Mon Mar 24, 2008 4:20 am UTC

sleepygamer wrote:Granted. You can focus on the tip of your nose. You wander around aimlessly, and get killed by a passing Scientologist.

I wish I had another toffee yoghurt. A safe one.

Granted. Enjoy your safe-flavored toffee! :D

I wish for motivation.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby mroctogon » Mon Mar 24, 2008 6:22 am UTC

Granted. You are now extraordinarily motivated to kill yourself.

I wish someone would make a rule against killing wishers to corrupt their wishes.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Zohar » Mon Mar 24, 2008 8:18 am UTC

Granted. But it seems no one is creative enough to think of good corruptions and the thread dies out.
Incidentally, I would like that as well...

I wish I could also see in infra-red.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby abrenecki » Mon Mar 24, 2008 9:35 am UTC

Granted. However, while driving down a highway, an infrared traffic counter blinds you. You die.
I did this just to spite you.

I wish I could enter and exit hypothetical situations, and actually act in them and have others respond accurately as they would in real life.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby TGGeko » Mon Mar 24, 2008 6:09 pm UTC

Granted, but now you have to enter OTHER peoples hypothetical situations too. Good luck

I wish that My Easter break was this week and not the next. Stupid Godless liberals.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby drconcon » Mon Mar 24, 2008 7:19 pm UTC

Granted, its over today. Have fun!

I wish my easter week was next week AS WELL as this week.
Belial wrote:Never assume you're safe.

That's when the raptors get yah!


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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby UnderRock » Mon Mar 24, 2008 7:25 pm UTC

Granted, it was extended because every instructor gave you a HUGE, tedious project to do, which would take you an entire week of work straight--without any food, eating, sleep etc, just work.
Enjoy your break! ^_^

I wish my room was clean.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ekzrated » Mon Mar 24, 2008 7:38 pm UTC

Granted. It is clean. However, there is a meteor 25 feet wide, 12 deep headed directly into it. I'll get there in about 1 minute.

I wish to have a Gemini for my next gf.
I'M MY OWN CASE-STUDY!!!!!!

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby UnderRock » Mon Mar 24, 2008 7:50 pm UTC

Granted: you're now in love with a constellation...and it loves you.

I wish for extreme happiness.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ekzrated » Mon Mar 24, 2008 8:20 pm UTC

Granted. It lasts 3 minutes followed by 3 years of extreme depression.


I wish to have complete mental control over every cell in my body.
I'M MY OWN CASE-STUDY!!!!!!

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby UnderRock » Mon Mar 24, 2008 8:25 pm UTC

Granted, you now have to concentrate incredibly hard to make sure every single chemical reaction is going as planned, the correct parts of your DNA are being transcribed, ensure that the cells that are dividing are doing so correctly,... and the list goes on. And you have to do this each of the trillionish cells in your body... (you won't live very long)

I wish I didn't have to clean. But I do >.<

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ekzrated » Mon Mar 24, 2008 8:30 pm UTC

Granted. You paradoxially don't have to clean, but really do. While trying to figure out which option to choose, a blood vessel in your brain explodes.


I wish to have all the powers of Dr. Manhattan.
I'M MY OWN CASE-STUDY!!!!!!

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Zohar » Mon Mar 24, 2008 8:45 pm UTC

Granted. But now people avoid you since you're walking around naked all the time.

I wish I was better at yoga.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby drconcon » Mon Mar 24, 2008 9:41 pm UTC

Granted, you're weird for wishing to be better at yoga.

I wish for post stamps. I don't want to walk to the store.
Belial wrote:Never assume you're safe.

That's when the raptors get yah!


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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Zohar » Mon Mar 24, 2008 9:51 pm UTC

Granted. You can't find any envelopes, though.

I wish I could get a perfect shave simply by waving my hand across my face. And also that I could control when this hand waving works or not, since I don't want to shave my head or something.
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SecondTalon: "Still better looking than Jesus."

Not how I say my name

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby UnderRock » Mon Mar 24, 2008 10:09 pm UTC

Granted. And you can control it too: when you breath, it's on, when don't it's off.
Also your hand has the ability to shave others too >.>

I wish I had one of those tasty cookies from my school ^_^ (Is it bad that the last few posts I made all had something to do with cookies)

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ekzrated » Mon Mar 24, 2008 10:46 pm UTC

Granted. You have as many cookies as you can handle, you fill your pants, jacket, shirt full of cookies, hell, you can have a shopping cart full of' em.
Until you run across a baby Grizzly bear. And he wants your cookies. Oh, an his momma's behind you.


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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby UnderRock » Mon Mar 24, 2008 10:51 pm UTC

Granted, only you have the world's crappiest boss.

I wish for a fuzzy kitteh

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ekzrated » Mon Mar 24, 2008 11:01 pm UTC

Granted. However, that sounds like "Take off my face" to some foreigner. So they oblidge.

I wish for delicious rice cakes.
I'M MY OWN CASE-STUDY!!!!!!

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby UnderRock » Mon Mar 24, 2008 11:12 pm UTC

Granted, only it's a different kind of cake.

Oh I wish I were an Oscar Mayer wiener.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby tryptanymph » Mon Mar 24, 2008 11:15 pm UTC

UnderRock wrote:Granted, only they are lies!.


Fix'd.

Half granted. You are now just a weiner. Have fun being beaten every night and pushed into tight holes.

I wish I had a bigger mug of pepsi.
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