Corrupt-a-wish

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Zak
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Zak » Mon Jan 28, 2008 9:38 pm UTC

Granted, instead you think that this is an actual vending machine, and end up getting pissed at it because it wont give you your candy.

I whish that all "w" whords had an h after it.
*waggles eyebrows*

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Azrael001 » Mon Jan 28, 2008 10:16 pm UTC

Granted, but now all letters have h after it including h, starting now:

Ihhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
23111

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Zak
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Zak » Mon Jan 28, 2008 10:18 pm UTC

Granted, te letter "h" now never appears in any word ever.

I wish that i could be a better conversationalist.
*waggles eyebrows*

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Chrismclegless » Tue Jan 29, 2008 2:11 am UTC

Granted, but you can only converse with inanimate objects.

I wish I could hold my liquor.
Londo: Maybe it was something I said?
G'Kar: Maybe it is everything you say.

How tasty is YOUR brain?

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ParanoidDrone » Tue Jan 29, 2008 3:10 am UTC

Granted. Here's a bucket.

I wish I could come up with a decent wish.
Insert witty phrase here.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby sherbertfox » Tue Jan 29, 2008 3:15 am UTC

done, but it sucked, and you can't remember it.
i wish i wished for a wish
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Ansain » Tue Jan 29, 2008 6:17 am UTC

granted, but the wish you wished for was to be thrown into a swimming pool full of ice cubes and thumb tacks.

I wish that I had jedi mind tricks
Why put off till today what you could just as easily get done tomorrow?

I can mathematically prove that 1 equals 0!.

Parts a-x in my plan weren't that important anyways.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Zak » Tue Jan 29, 2008 6:30 am UTC

Granted, you have them, but you can only use them on yourself.

I wish that i was better at chess
*waggles eyebrows*

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Ansain » Tue Jan 29, 2008 6:37 am UTC

granted, you are now better than my little sister at chess. but hey at least you know how the pieces move.

I wish my jedi mind tricks worked on other people.
Why put off till today what you could just as easily get done tomorrow?

I can mathematically prove that 1 equals 0!.

Parts a-x in my plan weren't that important anyways.

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Zak
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Zak » Tue Jan 29, 2008 6:46 am UTC

Granted, but i use my jedi mind tricks to convince you that you still can only use them on yourself, and you never try to use them ever again.

I wish that you would stop making wishes about jedis
*waggles eyebrows*

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Mikeski » Tue Jan 29, 2008 7:21 am UTC

Granted. Star Wars ceases to exist. A million nerds suddenly cried out in terror...

I wish for pie.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Zak » Tue Jan 29, 2008 7:23 am UTC

Granted, its in North Korea, and I dont think that Kim Jong Ill (sp) likes to share...

I wish that i could access the internet in my mind.
*waggles eyebrows*

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Zohar » Tue Jan 29, 2008 7:29 am UTC

Granted. But you don't have a pop-up blocker.

I wish I could see people's pasts, when I wanted to.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Mr. Mack » Tue Jan 29, 2008 3:51 pm UTC

Granted. But you never use the power because everyone's past if filled with terrible secrets.

I wish I had a friend.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Chrismclegless » Tue Jan 29, 2008 4:41 pm UTC

Granted. Me. MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

I wish I were an evil overlord.
Londo: Maybe it was something I said?
G'Kar: Maybe it is everything you say.

How tasty is YOUR brain?

GENERATION 21: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.

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Mr. Mack
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Mr. Mack » Tue Jan 29, 2008 4:56 pm UTC

Granted, but you only have power over yourself. I supposed you'll have to start chain smoking.

I wish I were a famous writer.
"Bagpipes, YES!"

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Chrismclegless » Tue Jan 29, 2008 6:16 pm UTC

Granted. Your writing sucks so badly they put it on "Worlds Worst Words" a new TV show which looks at the worst of the worst books. You won.

I wish you a merry christmas.
Londo: Maybe it was something I said?
G'Kar: Maybe it is everything you say.

How tasty is YOUR brain?

GENERATION 21: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ekzrated » Tue Jan 29, 2008 6:56 pm UTC

Granted. I get all of your and your family's gifts.


I wish to have a complete understanding of all creatures on Earth.
I'M MY OWN CASE-STUDY!!!!!!

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Token » Tue Jan 29, 2008 7:01 pm UTC

Granted, but at the cost of understanding yourself. A few months later you're discovered lying in a pool of your own blood, wrists slashed by a fragment of broken glass that represents your shattered soul.

I wish I had more time to do things.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ekzrated » Tue Jan 29, 2008 7:43 pm UTC

Granted. You now have unlimited time to do all the things you desire. However, you are a P.O.W. therefore aren't able to do any of them anyway.


I wish to be a member of the top 1% whealthiest people in the world.
I'M MY OWN CASE-STUDY!!!!!!

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Zohar » Tue Jan 29, 2008 7:56 pm UTC

Granted. But you're at the bottom of that top percent. You keep wanting more and more and eventually you die a lonely, sad, greedy man.

I wish I could teleport things from my stomach after eating them and before digesting them. They would be teleported to somewhere that's harmless to any living being, directly or not, and the process wouldn't hurt me.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby directionless_goals » Tue Jan 29, 2008 7:58 pm UTC

Granted. But this happens whether you want it to or not, and thus you die of starvation.

I wish the workday was over.
Opposites may attract, but inverses and reciprocals make Unity.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ekzrated » Tue Jan 29, 2008 8:15 pm UTC

Granted, but you're a slave, so technically, your work day ends when you're allowed to collapse from fatigue. Now, enough lazying around filth! Get the hell up and work!


I wish that the world suddenly went back to worshipping the Asgardians.
I'M MY OWN CASE-STUDY!!!!!!

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Ansain » Wed Jan 30, 2008 5:33 am UTC

granted. the world itself becomes sentient and worships the asgardians, but its population does not. This starts a "world war" of natural disaster which eventually wipes out all of humanity.

I wish that my metabolism would fluctuate to match my diet, making me keep the same shape regardless of what I ate.
Why put off till today what you could just as easily get done tomorrow?

I can mathematically prove that 1 equals 0!.

Parts a-x in my plan weren't that important anyways.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Matthias » Wed Jan 30, 2008 5:37 am UTC

Granted, fatty.

I wish I could record my dreams and play them back later in GMod.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Zohar » Wed Jan 30, 2008 7:53 am UTC

Granted, but someone bursts into the room at just the wrong moment.

I wish instead of chairs there would be beanbags, everywhere in the world!
Mighty Jalapeno: "See, Zohar agrees, and he's nice to people."
SecondTalon: "Still better looking than Jesus."

Not how I say my name

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Mikeski » Wed Jan 30, 2008 8:10 am UTC

Granted. A number of wheelchair-bound folk crawl over and bludgeon you to death with their now-useless wheels.

(Escaping this fate would require outthinking that Hawking fellow.)

I wish for a functional human colony on Mars.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ekzrated » Wed Jan 30, 2008 4:38 pm UTC

*edited to make sense*

Granted. But it's paid for entirely out of your and your peer's wages. You wind up having to work 2 full-time jobs just to keep with the interest while the people living in Mars enjoy lavish lifestyles and tax-free status. The President suggests a stimulus package so that you can afford too live, which ironically, gives yet another break to the martians.

I wish I knew the answer to everything.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Actaeus » Wed Jan 30, 2008 11:39 pm UTC

Sure, I'll just ask good ol' TI the 84th plus.

Code: Select all

EVERYTHING
               0


I wish I could play Streetlight Manifesto music through my forehead with very, very good sound quality. Man, I would be such a hit at parties.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ekzrated » Wed Jan 30, 2008 11:43 pm UTC

Granted, but you have no control over when it plays making it very awkward in non-party situations which ultimately leads you to being invited to parties less and less. Eventually you abandon civilization and live in the wilderness to be eaten by a bear who thought you were threatening it with your loud music.



I wish that everytime I make an announcement, it becomes law.
I'M MY OWN CASE-STUDY!!!!!!

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Zak
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Zak » Wed Jan 30, 2008 11:50 pm UTC

Granted, but it only becomes law in Uganda.

I wish i was better at maths.
*waggles eyebrows*

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ekzrated » Thu Jan 31, 2008 12:27 am UTC

Granted. You now have an understanding of math equal to the average american teen.


I wish to have superman's comic book powers in real life.
I'M MY OWN CASE-STUDY!!!!!!

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Zak
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Zak » Thu Jan 31, 2008 12:30 am UTC

Granted, too bad life isn't real.

I wish that the previous corruption had actually changed my current position.

((I'm your average teenager, at least in math...))
*waggles eyebrows*

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ekzrated
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ekzrated » Thu Jan 31, 2008 12:32 am UTC

Granted. You now understand math the same as me.

Abstractly.


I wish more people would follow my cause.
I'M MY OWN CASE-STUDY!!!!!!

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Zak
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Zak » Thu Jan 31, 2008 12:36 am UTC

Granted, everybody follows your cause, and eventually you rule the world, but your cause requires the leader being unhappy, and you end up killing yourself out of pure sadness.

I wish that all stupid people couldn't breed.
*waggles eyebrows*

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby apeman5291 » Thu Jan 31, 2008 12:55 am UTC

Granted. Unfortunately, the definition of "stupid" includes all IQ's up to and including yours. Too bad, you barely missed the cut.

I wish I never had to do homework.
What you don't understand, you can make mean anything.

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Zak
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Zak » Thu Jan 31, 2008 12:59 am UTC

Granted, you now have to do all of your work in class, this is impossible and you fail.

I wish that i would start my homework now.
*waggles eyebrows*

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madjo
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby madjo » Thu Jan 31, 2008 12:33 pm UTC

granted, but you still fail the class.

I wish my co-workers weren't so annoying.
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.

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ekzrated
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ekzrated » Thu Jan 31, 2008 7:06 pm UTC

Granted. You now annoy your coworkers instead.


I wish I had a delicious chocolate to eat in my hand.
I'M MY OWN CASE-STUDY!!!!!!

directionless_goals
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby directionless_goals » Thu Jan 31, 2008 7:46 pm UTC

Granted, However your hand is removed and sent to tumbling into the sun.

I wish that people would answer the emails that I send out.
Opposites may attract, but inverses and reciprocals make Unity.


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