Corrupt-a-wish

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ekzrated
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ekzrated » Fri Jan 25, 2008 7:31 pm UTC

Granted, but the answers will appear at random intervals.


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i like pi
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby i like pi » Fri Jan 25, 2008 8:03 pm UTC

Granted, but I stab you with the dagger of corruption


I wish I could eliminate all other idiots and make way for XKCD, and to be in such a society.
Or something to that effect. Hell, I don't know.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ekzrated » Fri Jan 25, 2008 8:40 pm UTC

Granted, however, in this XKCD society, you have all the handicaps.

I wish for a tuna melt to be delivered by Angelina Jolie.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Zak » Fri Jan 25, 2008 9:38 pm UTC

Granted, Angelina Jolie delivers me a tuna melt.


I wish that i had the hitchhikers guide in my right front pocket.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ekzrated » Fri Jan 25, 2008 11:28 pm UTC

Granted, but it is written in 7000 different languages, each word alternating between languages in a completely random order. And it's made of rice paper.

I wish to know everything.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Matthias » Sat Jan 26, 2008 12:08 am UTC

Granted. You met Joe Everything at the bar the other day. Apparently, he's your real father--figure that one out.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ekzrated » Sat Jan 26, 2008 12:27 am UTC

Granted. it's finished... FATALITY


I wish have samurai-shaped bullet-proof armor.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Azrael001 » Sat Jan 26, 2008 2:37 am UTC

Granted, you are subsequently killed by ninjas.

I wish that I was a ninja.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Mikeski » Sat Jan 26, 2008 3:50 am UTC

Granted... in fact, you're a member of the most famous clan of ninja ever.

Of course, that makes you hundreds of years old and you collapse into a pile of brittle bones.

I wish the person below me would make an utterly ridiculous wish.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Ansain » Sat Jan 26, 2008 4:33 am UTC

Granted, but when translated from gibberish to English "Fish Blarble Me Taquino Fry" means "I wish for money and power."

Fish Blarble Me Taquino Fry
Why put off till today what you could just as easily get done tomorrow?

I can mathematically prove that 1 equals 0!.

Parts a-x in my plan weren't that important anyways.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby UmbralRaptor » Sat Jan 26, 2008 6:19 am UTC

Granted: You find a penny lying in the street and stick a paper clip into an electrical outlet to see what happens. The results are unusually fatal.

I wish to know the gate. I wish to be the gate. I wish to be the key and guardian of the gate.

(This *should* count as one wish. Provided the reference is caught.)
Why do you assume that I exist?

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Azrael001 » Sat Jan 26, 2008 8:04 am UTC

Granted, but weird people keep asking you in a deep voice: "Are you the gate guardian?"

I wish that I was unaging.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Zak » Sat Jan 26, 2008 8:44 am UTC

Granted, you are always getting younger as your friends get older, eventually alienating yourself from them until you revert back into a fetal form.

I wish that i could change the color of my friends skin.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Zohar » Sat Jan 26, 2008 3:15 pm UTC

Granted, but after you change the first friend from black to white, they start calling you a racist and avoid you.

I wish I had some unpopped bubblewrap.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Ansain » Sat Jan 26, 2008 5:23 pm UTC

granted but the bubbles are filled with little thorns.

I wish I had a green crayon.
Why put off till today what you could just as easily get done tomorrow?

I can mathematically prove that 1 equals 0!.

Parts a-x in my plan weren't that important anyways.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Azrael001 » Sun Jan 27, 2008 7:06 am UTC

Granted, but it materializes in your eye.

I wish that wishes were corrupted less violently.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Zak » Sun Jan 27, 2008 7:11 am UTC

Granted, from now on all people who corrupt through violence are shot through the ovaries/testicles and scalped.

I wish that the above corruption wasn't violent.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Mikeski » Sun Jan 27, 2008 4:24 pm UTC

Granted. Compared to what happens to people who try to make paradoxical wishes, being shot through the gonads and scalped will seem like foreplay.

I wish I didn't have a cold.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Mo0man » Sun Jan 27, 2008 5:08 pm UTC

Granted. Now you have cancer

I wish I was past this stupid ravenholm in HL2
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Coin » Sun Jan 27, 2008 5:34 pm UTC

Granted. You've completed the game and can now put it on your shelf.

I wish I had a better computer.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Actaeus » Sun Jan 27, 2008 6:42 pm UTC

Granted. Wait, you said butter, right? oh well.

I wish I knew why my computer is running so slowly.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Azrael001 » Sun Jan 27, 2008 6:44 pm UTC

Granted, but you don't know how to fix it.

I wish that someone would make a wish after corrupting this one.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Mo0man » Sun Jan 27, 2008 7:10 pm UTC

Granted, but it's a crappy wish

I wish you'd die
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Actaeus » Sun Jan 27, 2008 7:43 pm UTC

Granted, I'll get around to it...just gimme a century or so, 'kay?

@Azrael: nope, still don't know. Stupid Windows, I'll reboot later I guess...
I wish I could freeze time.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Mo0man » Sun Jan 27, 2008 9:23 pm UTC

DONE! Oh wait, you also wanted the ability to notice when you've done it? Oh well

I wish I knew the meaning of life
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ParanoidDrone » Sun Jan 27, 2008 10:57 pm UTC

Granted. But the answer is so inane that you're driven insane.

I wish Java wouldn't crap out on me.
Insert witty phrase here.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Ansain » Sun Jan 27, 2008 11:09 pm UTC

granted, Java now runs smoothly all the time, but your computers literally craps on you when you try to use it.

I wish I wish programming in C wasn't such a pain in the ass.
Why put off till today what you could just as easily get done tomorrow?

I can mathematically prove that 1 equals 0!.

Parts a-x in my plan weren't that important anyways.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby apeman5291 » Sun Jan 27, 2008 11:33 pm UTC

Granted. Now when you program in C every other part of your body hurts.

I wish there was just one universal computer language that did everything and there was no debate over which was better or which will work on which computer.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Mikeski » Mon Jan 28, 2008 12:52 am UTC

Granted. It's COBOL.

I wish she would notice me.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ParanoidDrone » Mon Jan 28, 2008 2:01 am UTC

Granted. She notices all your flaws and none of your good points.

I wish I was guaranteed a 4.0 GPA this semester.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Mikeski » Mon Jan 28, 2008 2:59 am UTC

Granted. Your school now grades on a 16-point scale, for greater accuracy.

I wish I could get some sleep tonight.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Ansain » Mon Jan 28, 2008 3:05 am UTC

granted, you get about 30 minutes of sleep in 5 minute intervals.


I WISH FOR SOMEONE TO HELP ME WITH MY STUCK CAPS LOCK
Why put off till today what you could just as easily get done tomorrow?

I can mathematically prove that 1 equals 0!.

Parts a-x in my plan weren't that important anyways.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Matthias » Mon Jan 28, 2008 3:52 am UTC

Granted. Your baseball cap is no longer locked to your head. Oh, and remember the apostrophe next time; "caps" indicates the plural, not the possessive. And don't type in all capital letters. Douche.

I wish I didn't have such a (relatively) strong tendency to kill threads that I post in.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Ansain » Mon Jan 28, 2008 5:53 am UTC

Not granted, thats something you'll have to figure out for yourself.

I wish for a giant bean bag chair shaped like Richard Nixon.
Why put off till today what you could just as easily get done tomorrow?

I can mathematically prove that 1 equals 0!.

Parts a-x in my plan weren't that important anyways.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Zohar » Mon Jan 28, 2008 7:00 am UTC

Granted. But it's filled with listening instruments and everyone in the world can hear you fart.

I wish my farts were silent and smelled like flowers. Just like girls' farts!
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Mikeski » Mon Jan 28, 2008 8:48 am UTC

Granted, your farts are silent and smell like Flower.

(Think "Disney".)

I'm not getting that sleep I wished for, so I wish for caffeine, instead.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Nexus_1101 » Mon Jan 28, 2008 5:02 pm UTC

granted but its pure caffine, and you OD

i wish i wouldent kill people on this thread, and a car because i'm greedy.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Zohar » Mon Jan 28, 2008 5:09 pm UTC

Granted. You keep condemning them to eternal life. Much worse. Plus, the car runs on plutonium.

I wish twenty minutes will pass.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Nexus_1101 » Mon Jan 28, 2008 5:20 pm UTC

granted but it was 20 minutes 20 minuts ago

have you been waching back to the future???

i wish i had the back to the future delorian.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Zohar » Mon Jan 28, 2008 5:38 pm UTC

Granted. But it's the version of it that doesn't fly.

Edit: I wish I realized this wasn't the "vending machine" thread.
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