Corrupt-a-wish

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Zohar
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Zohar » Mon Nov 12, 2007 7:13 pm UTC

Granted. But now you bump your head on the door post every time you go out of your house.

I wish the PowerPuff Girls were my friends.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Moo » Mon Nov 12, 2007 10:07 pm UTC

Granted. With their undying loyalty to you now known to be their one weakness, you are regularly kidnapped and tortured by the unexplained and alarmingly large amount of Townsville villians.

I wish I could think of a different game to use in the duplicate game game, rather than just the same ones over and over again.
Proverbs 9:7-8 wrote:Anyone who rebukes a mocker will get an insult in return. Anyone who corrects the wicked will get hurt. So don't bother correcting mockers; they will only hate you.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xndrew » Mon Nov 12, 2007 10:39 pm UTC

Granted. You can think of it, but you can't write it. Ouch.

I wish I had an Impala.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby abrenecki » Tue Nov 13, 2007 9:40 am UTC

Granted, it stabs you with it's horns.

I wish for Season 4 of Doctor Who and Season 2 of Torchwood.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby MotorToad » Tue Nov 13, 2007 2:48 pm UTC

And they're yours. I hope your Betamax player still works.

I wish for a case of Laphroaig Cask Strength Scotch.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xndrew » Tue Nov 13, 2007 3:03 pm UTC

Granted. I don't want to corrupt this wish. Umm, due to a time release lock on it, you can only have one bottle per month. There, suffer a little.

I wish I was a baller.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Moo » Tue Nov 13, 2007 4:14 pm UTC

Granted. Then you get clubbed to death by a rabbit in a hat with a bat (or something like that).

I wish my customer would stop wasting my time.
Proverbs 9:7-8 wrote:Anyone who rebukes a mocker will get an insult in return. Anyone who corrects the wicked will get hurt. So don't bother correcting mockers; they will only hate you.
Hawknc wrote:FFT: I didn't realise Proverbs 9:7-8 was the first recorded instance of "haters gonna hate"

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby MotorToad » Tue Nov 13, 2007 4:17 pm UTC

No more wasted time! No more customer! No more money. No more job. =[

I wish my customers were smarter (but I kind of fear the same result as above were that the case).
What did you bring the book I didn't want read out of up for?
"MAN YOUR WAY TO ANAL!" (An actual quote from another forum. Only four small errors from making sense.)

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Nexus_1101 » Tue Nov 13, 2007 5:16 pm UTC

Granted, they are smarter than you, now they won't stop telling you what you are doing wrong

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Number3Pencils » Tue Nov 13, 2007 9:00 pm UTC

Granted: the cancer is temporarily in remission.

I wish my intellect were changed only such that I comprehensively understood the rest of the week's calculus classwork and homework, and didn't forget it.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Ansain » Tue Nov 13, 2007 11:19 pm UTC

Number3Pencils wrote:I wish my intellect were changed only such that I comprehensively understood the rest of the week's calculus classwork and homework, and didn't forget it.


Granted, but you can no longer learn in any of your other classes and fail everything but math.

I wish that math as we know it did not work.
Why put off till today what you could just as easily get done tomorrow?

I can mathematically prove that 1 equals 0!.

Parts a-x in my plan weren't that important anyways.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Chaos9 » Wed Nov 14, 2007 12:06 am UTC

Not granted, bucause it already doesn't work if you ask me.

I wish I could build a snowman like Number3Pencils.
I intend to keep my post count at 42 for the rest of my life.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Number3Pencils » Wed Nov 14, 2007 1:03 am UTC

Granted. Then you realize that you copied off of a guy who copied off of Calvin and Hobbes, and bury yourself in the snow until spring in shame of unoriginality2. Furthermore, I build a bigger and better snow sculpture (in fact I do plan to, as soon as there's enough snow).

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(Edit: fixed image that broke
P.S.: This isn't the one in my avatar; this one is even more awesome and I want to build it this winter, is what I was saying there)

I wish there were enough excellent packing snow on the ground here for me to build that, and that I had enough time to build it, and that it wouldn't be destroyed in any way for at least a week.
Last edited by Number3Pencils on Wed Nov 14, 2007 4:22 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Chaos9
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Chaos9 » Wed Nov 14, 2007 1:30 am UTC

I knew it was from Calivin and Hobbes. In fact, thats my very favorite episode, and the reason I want to build a snowman like that.

Anyway, Granted. You move to Alaska!

I wish for something.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Number3Pencils » Wed Nov 14, 2007 4:19 am UTC

Granted. This is another one that I'm granting for you in real life. Look around for it; it's there. Maybe it ended up in the couch cushions.

Also, it would be pretty awesome if I lived in Alaska.

I wish I always ended my parenthetical remarks with a right parenthesis, instead of accidentally using quote marks like I sometimes do.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby vovk » Wed Nov 14, 2007 4:43 am UTC

granted, but now you sometimes accidentally begin your left parenthesis with quotation marks....


and an angry penis fish attacks you, not only ruining your genetalia, but crawling into your left arm to become like one of wolverines blades, except it pops out any time it wants to, and instead of being a razor sharp piece of adamantium, it's a penis fish with excruciatingly sharp spinedidy things.

I wish that NWN2 weren't so buggy

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Number3Pencils » Wed Nov 14, 2007 8:19 am UTC

Granted; the bugs crawl out of the program and infest your house.

The penisfish would also like to pay you a visit. It is not happy.

I wish I could type on the Dvorak keyboard with just the same alacrity I can now type with on QWERTY, without my QWERTY skills being impaired.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby zingmaster » Wed Nov 14, 2007 4:47 pm UTC

((Hey, me too!))

Granted. Your fingers fall off in excitement.

I wish I understood Romanian.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby yeup » Wed Nov 14, 2007 5:38 pm UTC

Granted. It turns out they were talking about you, and it wasn't good.

I wish I had a shower cubicle and power shower in my room, with water that comes out at the exact right temperature, and a fluffy warm towel

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xndrew » Wed Nov 14, 2007 5:51 pm UTC

Granted. It requires human sacrifice to work.

Edit for wish: I wish I was Bob Dylan.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Number3Pencils » Wed Nov 14, 2007 6:46 pm UTC

Granted. Bob Dylan is 66 years old. You missed the whole middle of your life.

I wish I weren't so addicted to this thread.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xndrew » Wed Nov 14, 2007 7:31 pm UTC

Granted. Instead you're addicted to Oxycotton.

I wish I could lay outside all day and listen to music and play frisbee and be more concerned with right now.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby vovk » Thu Nov 15, 2007 3:23 am UTC

sure, you can do all of these things. Earth is hurtling into the sun and nobody cares about anything now. You can be concerned about your imminent death, but you can play frisbee all you want.

I wish that the penis fish would stop looking at me. I also wish that we had more freedom toasters.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Matthias » Thu Nov 15, 2007 3:28 am UTC

Granted. The penis fish is now looking at your mom, and we have one more freedom toaster. It's at the north pole. All the other ones are broken.

I wish I could think of a final symbol to put at the top of this tattoo I'm designing.
Love may be blind, but lust has x-ray vision.
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Also, it turns out I'm not dead--I'm just a right bastard who disappears from the internet for months at a time every so often.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby vovk » Thu Nov 15, 2007 3:45 am UTC

granted. you think of a really creative design

Unfortunately, it is mis-interpreted as a Russian Mob tatoo and you spend the rest of your life in a federal "pound me in the ass" prison

I wish more people lived at the north pole so they could use the last existing freedom toaster.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Brass Monkey » Thu Nov 15, 2007 3:59 am UTC

granted, but you have to survive off seal blubber and chunky eskimo women
*no offence to your heritage if you are eskimo... or a woman*

I wish i was going out with J. Lo

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vovk
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby vovk » Thu Nov 15, 2007 5:35 am UTC

congratulations! you are going out with J.lo , and J.lo's herpes, and her gonorrhea, and her syphilis, and whatever else she has

I wish that we could use a ternary system instead of a binary system in computing.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby zingmaster » Thu Nov 15, 2007 7:12 am UTC

Granted. Everyone's too lazy to change. So you're alone there.

I wish for a peanut butter sandwich with honey.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Number3Pencils » Thu Nov 15, 2007 7:22 am UTC

Granted. As you eat it, it gets all over your hands and clothes. You are at work; all your paperwork gets all sticky, and you get a reputation as being a pretty slovenly person. Also, the company makes you pay for the fax machine you irretrievably broke with a delicious, sticky paper jam.

I wish I summoned the will power to use the internet less irresponsibly copiously: just a reasonable amount.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby lucky7fever » Thu Nov 15, 2007 8:44 am UTC

Granted. However the only way to do so involves the process used in A Clockwork Orange, resulting in you being unable to touch a computer, which becomes really inconvenient when radioactive fallout from the coming nuclear apocolypse foces you to remain in your lead bunker with only that shining, blinking screen to connect you to the outside world and remind you of your short sightedness...

This is what I thought when I heard freedom toaster.
Braun_HT600_Toaster-731128.jpg
Braun_HT600_Toaster-731128.jpg (20.63 KiB) Viewed 3253 times

A google search for American Flag Toaster had no results.

I wish I knew how to use photoshop.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby dazomby » Thu Nov 15, 2007 10:10 am UTC

Granted. You now know how to use photoshop.
You use it to "enhance" a photo of George W. Bush and are sent to lifetime imprisonment for treason.

I wish for a nice day in the park with my kids.

/dz

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby madjo » Thu Nov 15, 2007 10:12 am UTC

Granted, you had a nice day in the park with your kids. But just then your house got demolished to make way for a highway.

I wish I wasn't so lazy.
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby dazomby » Thu Nov 15, 2007 10:18 am UTC

I was expecting raptors. ;)

Your wish is granted. You are now hyper-energetic. You can't even sit down to rest without getting the feeling that something important must be done. In a few days you die from exhaustion.

I wish I could see raptor and survive to tell the story.

/dz


Yout? Jeez...

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby madjo » Thu Nov 15, 2007 10:24 am UTC

granted. you go to a museum with your kids.. first: boooorrring ;) Second: you have to pay for any damage that they caused.

((raptors are overused here, needed a new way of demolishing things)) :P

I wish I had time to go get a haircut. (But tonight I have a course, tomorrow I have to retrieve some stuff for my new apartment, Saturday it's furniture shopping, and getting my new couch. Argh! Oh and Saint Nicholas is coming in this Saturday, so I have to watch that on tv as well. So much to do, so very little time. It's annoying.)
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby dazomby » Thu Nov 15, 2007 10:35 am UTC

You decide to cut your own hair. It turns out... nice-ish. With the lights out.

I wish for a client to get me some answers.

/dz

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby keozen » Thu Nov 15, 2007 10:41 am UTC

Granted, his answers are "I don;'t want your business anymore" and "I'll be speaking to your manager about this"

I want it to be a couple of degrees warmer here
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby vovk » Thu Nov 15, 2007 12:10 pm UTC

people have decided that 100 is far too many degrees and have developed a simpler system for temperature, which is based on a 1-10 scale for the melting and boiling points of water. a couple degrees suddenly makes it not only stiflingly hot, but inhabitable by normal humans.

I wish I had the ability to change the colour of my eyes to what I want at will.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby OrangePanda » Thu Nov 15, 2007 3:42 pm UTC

granted, angry villagers burn you at the stake

I wish I could control peoples minds

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Zohar
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Zohar » Thu Nov 15, 2007 4:08 pm UTC

Granted. You can control your own mind. Oh, you wanted more than one person?

I wish the semester won't be canceled.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby vovk » Fri Nov 16, 2007 4:00 am UTC

the semester NEVER ends, anywhere! you are lynched by an angry mob of frat boys who are going to miss spring break and a mob of angry nerds who will spend all that time studying for midterms that will never happen.

I wish I could get GNOME to install properly on Free BSD


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