Corrupt-a-wish

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The Mighty Thesaurus
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby The Mighty Thesaurus » Sat Nov 10, 2007 4:49 pm UTC

Granted. It finishes much sooner than you anticipated, leaving you feeling alone and unsatisfied... Whoo!

I wish opposition to transhumanism would disappear.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Zohar » Sat Nov 10, 2007 6:21 pm UTC

Granted. However, it turns out God exists and he punishes us all with a massive flood. Only those humans who have installed gills on themselves survive.

I wish I could control the rate of growth of my fingernails.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Neuman » Sat Nov 10, 2007 6:42 pm UTC

Granted. Everybody on the planet is given a superpower, and you choose that. Nice jorb there. I'll be sure to think of you while I'm shooting lightning out of my hands.

I wish for more games for my Wii.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Ansain » Sat Nov 10, 2007 6:43 pm UTC

granted, but you only control the value x(>0), and your fingers grow at rates of 1x, 2x, 3x, 4x, ect as you move from left to right across your hands.

I wish for a swiss army knife which had every single gadget known to man attached.
Why put off till today what you could just as easily get done tomorrow?

I can mathematically prove that 1 equals 0!.

Parts a-x in my plan weren't that important anyways.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Neuman » Sat Nov 10, 2007 6:46 pm UTC

Granted. It weighs more than Europe.


I wish for more games for my Wii. Again.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby MotorToad » Sat Nov 10, 2007 7:43 pm UTC

YAY! Thirty new games.... which you can't play because the controller's broken.

I wish for a shiny new motorcycle.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby yet another one » Sat Nov 10, 2007 9:19 pm UTC

Granted. It is very shiny. Now you are blind.

I wish for good books.
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clockworkmonk
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby clockworkmonk » Sat Nov 10, 2007 9:51 pm UTC

Granted, but you have no eyes!!!! Only kiddin', they are all glued shut. can't open 'em without making them unreadable.

I wish i had supernatural penny stacking skills.
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xndrew
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xndrew » Sat Nov 10, 2007 10:04 pm UTC

Granted. I have supernatural knocking-down-piles-of-pennies powers.

I wish I wasn't so stupid.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Nexus_1101 » Sat Nov 10, 2007 11:40 pm UTC

granted but now you are an uber geek

i wish i had a life
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Princess_Shauna » Sat Nov 10, 2007 11:46 pm UTC

Granted, it sucks :p sorry

I wish I could be with my friend right now instead of at home

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby clockworkmonk » Sat Nov 10, 2007 11:49 pm UTC

granted. you are with them... in misery!!!

I wish people (xndrew)would not knock over my stacked pennies.
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abrenecki
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby abrenecki » Sat Nov 10, 2007 11:53 pm UTC

Granted. The pennies are stuck together. You cannot use them.

I wish that my English task would finish itself now, enabling me to hand it up on time, and giving me a good grade, without stopping me or others from living our lives as usual, including but not limited to English lessons, and optionally changing said lives.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby yet another one » Sun Nov 11, 2007 12:07 am UTC

Granted, the English language has been replaced by a simple language consisting of "Ook"s. You can now finish your tasks within some minutes, but the possibility to express yourself are really limited.

Ook, ook ook . . . ook. Ook?

((Acceptable? Sorry kids, no wish.))
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abrenecki
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby abrenecki » Sun Nov 11, 2007 12:58 am UTC

Since yet another one didn't post a wish and is now offline:

I wish everyone would use correct spelling and grammar, all the time.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby yet another one » Sun Nov 11, 2007 1:02 am UTC

Granted. Now every spelling of a word and every kind of grammar is right. All your base are belong to us.

I wish for chocolate that doesn't harm me or anybody else.
At least we are the people.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby abrenecki » Sun Nov 11, 2007 1:06 am UTC

Granted. It tastes like crap.

I wish for more xkcdmailer users (see my sig).

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby yet another one » Sun Nov 11, 2007 1:14 am UTC

Granted. Enjoy 107 users. The server melts.

I wish for some OpenCola that tastes good, doesn't harm anybody including, but not limited to, myself.
At least we are the people.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby vovk » Sun Nov 11, 2007 3:37 am UTC

granted, you have it, but that little tab to open the can breaks off and you can never get it open :cry:

I wish I could upload and download files instantaneously.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Moo » Sun Nov 11, 2007 8:49 am UTC

Granted. You upload and download them through a connection where they get intercepted by Microsoft and ninja-DRM'd, and they sue you for copyright infringement.

I wish that it was exactly one hour earlier right now than it is.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Number3Pencils » Sun Nov 11, 2007 9:32 am UTC

Granted, but everything you accomplished in the last hour is undone, and you have no memory of it ever being this time, nor does anyone else in the world. Basically, you caused an unnoticed hitch in time. Interesting, but totally useless as no one ever discovers it happened.*

I wish I could make the sprayer in the dish room work at low or high power. As it is, the thing just alternates between the two - completely randomly, from what I can tell. I've looked all over for a switch.

*I really did grant you this wish, by the way.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby zingmaster » Sun Nov 11, 2007 9:45 am UTC

Granted, but each setting is now grossly over/underpowered. So your high setting blasts the dishes out of your hand, and the low setting amounts to barely a trickle.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Zohar » Sun Nov 11, 2007 4:34 pm UTC

Granted. But it takes hours to unfold it.

I wish instead of lolcats we had lolchickens.
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vovk
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby vovk » Sun Nov 11, 2007 8:02 pm UTC

granted, but they peck your eyes out

I wish I knew what DRMed meant and why Mr.Gates would be doing it to my lovely Linux box

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby clockworkmonk » Sun Nov 11, 2007 8:08 pm UTC

Granted, and without corruption.
DRM is digital rights management, often indistinguishable from malware. and why? He's a jerk.

I wish we did not have to deal with DRM.
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vovk
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby vovk » Sun Nov 11, 2007 9:46 pm UTC

granted, instead bill gates becomes a werewolf and tears Mac/Linux/BSD/Solaris/AnyOtherOpenSourceOS users to shreds with his razor sharp fangs of BSOD

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Cheese » Sun Nov 11, 2007 9:52 pm UTC

Not Granted. That's part of Gordon's title, and you're not allowed it.

I wish I didn't have to do so much homework at home.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Fauna » Sun Nov 11, 2007 10:07 pm UTC

Granted: A dog comes out and swallows all your homework in one enormous gulp. Hope you like detention better, no one's going to believe your explanation. ;)

I wish I was done with my stupid art project. >_<

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Cheese » Sun Nov 11, 2007 10:14 pm UTC

Granted. But for every stupid art project that you're done with, another four must take its place. You now have four stupid art projects, and finishing any one of them will give you a net increase of three projects to do.

I wish there were less poisonous things in the world.
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Nexus_1101
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Nexus_1101 » Sun Nov 11, 2007 11:12 pm UTC

Granted, but every thing that was poisonus now can wield a sword of D6 wounds

i wish my PC was Watercooled.
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Ansain
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Ansain » Mon Nov 12, 2007 5:13 am UTC

granted, but since Im not sure what that actually means I just throw your pc in a lake whenever it overheats.

I wish I had the patience and writing ability to write a novel.
Why put off till today what you could just as easily get done tomorrow?

I can mathematically prove that 1 equals 0!.

Parts a-x in my plan weren't that important anyways.

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abrenecki
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby abrenecki » Mon Nov 12, 2007 6:35 am UTC

Granted. You never said it had to be good enough for anyone to want to read it.

I wish for a Powerbook.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby zomgmouse » Mon Nov 12, 2007 11:29 am UTC

Granted. A powerbook now exists.

I wish my exam tomorrow will be easy for me, and that I finish it easily, and all correctly.
"Alf Todd," said Ukridge, soaring to an impressive burst of imagery, "has about as much chance as a one-armed blind man in a dark room trying to shove a pound of melted butter into a wild cat's left ear with a red-hot needle." P.G. Wodehouse

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Zohar » Mon Nov 12, 2007 12:52 pm UTC

Granted. Tomorrow you will walk into class, find the exam surprisingly easy and ace it. Strangely, you didn't notice you were in the wrong class, though. The exam you took, your exam, you got a high grade in. You failed the exam you were supposed to take.

I wish I could draw well or write well.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby The Mighty Thesaurus » Mon Nov 12, 2007 12:58 pm UTC

Granted, you are now the undisputed master of drawing wells and other water holes.

I wish the next person to post comes up with a brilliant wish.
LE4dGOLEM wrote:your ability to tell things from things remains one of your skills.
Weeks wrote:Not only can you tell things from things, you can recognize when a thing is a thing

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Nexus_1101
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Nexus_1101 » Mon Nov 12, 2007 2:40 pm UTC

Granted

I wish i had a brilliant wish.
HOSTING -> Heroquest
:idea: CHAOS BONUS :idea:

Code: Select all

IF (NOTFORUMGAME()) {
    postcount.add(1);
}

yet another one
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby yet another one » Mon Nov 12, 2007 2:41 pm UTC

Granted, but it is in german.

Ich wünschte, ich würde wissen, warum es keine englischen Wörter für Schadenfreude und Zeitgeist gibt.
At least we are the people.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby User? What User? » Mon Nov 12, 2007 3:08 pm UTC

Granted, but I don't bother running that through a translator so assume you wished for a giant we fish in the face.

I wish people would speak English.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby yet another one » Mon Nov 12, 2007 3:12 pm UTC

Granted, BUT PEOPLE ARE SPEAKING REALLY LOUD.

I wish for fewer references to Narsil's penis.
At least we are the people.

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xndrew
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xndrew » Mon Nov 12, 2007 4:03 pm UTC

Granted, yet another one. (Get it?)

I wish I was a little bit taller.


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