Corrupt-a-wish

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xkcd follower » Tue Nov 22, 2011 10:35 pm UTC

Granted, an alien on another planet in another galaxy has that AND has decided to destroy all others who build it. Tough luck.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Euler » Tue Nov 22, 2011 11:14 pm UTC

I send you to Canada, where it happened last month!
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xkcd follower » Wed Nov 23, 2011 1:40 am UTC

Granted, too bad you forgot to eat it and it goes to the trash can.

I wish for the answer to a question to either be a yes or no answer.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Euler » Thu Nov 24, 2011 12:11 am UTC

The question is "Have you stopped fornicating with your camel yet" and you have to answer yes or no.
I wish snow didn't make that crunchy sound when you step on it.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xkcd follower » Thu Nov 24, 2011 4:23 am UTC

Granted, now it makes a noise like that of nails on a chalkboard EVERY time you step on it.

I wish for a question.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby adfes » Thu Nov 24, 2011 5:21 pm UTC

Granted, What?

I wish for fresh Oreo cookies.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ekolis » Thu Nov 24, 2011 8:40 pm UTC

Granted, but there is no longer any milk within a 50 lightyear radius.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby snoods » Thu Nov 24, 2011 10:31 pm UTC

Granted, but you can't land like them and you break your legs on impact.


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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xkcd follower » Fri Nov 25, 2011 12:33 am UTC

Granted, its only emotion is to kill all living things.

I wish for a block of wood.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Ralith The Third » Fri Nov 25, 2011 10:20 am UTC

Granted. Sadly, it's just short of the sweet-spot that is geo-synch orbit. It falls to earth.
And because it's about two megatons, it's quite impressive, all the way until it hits your hometown in a fiery nuclear ball of death.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby madjo » Fri Nov 25, 2011 3:19 pm UTC

Granted, but they're spoiled.


I wish for some cold fresh water
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xkcd follower » Fri Nov 25, 2011 5:55 pm UTC

granted, but now it is all in antarctica and you can only get a drop at a time.

I wish for clean glasses
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Euler » Fri Nov 25, 2011 9:39 pm UTC

They're clean, but broken in a million pieces.
I wish that this wish will be corrupted.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby itaibn » Fri Nov 25, 2011 11:33 pm UTC

Granted.

I wish I had a fun video game.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Ralith The Third » Fri Nov 25, 2011 11:37 pm UTC

Dwarf Fortress is installed on your computer.



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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xkcd follower » Sat Nov 26, 2011 3:17 am UTC

Granted: it is now an object you can possess, but someone has stolen it now. They own you.

I wish everything around me to be controlled by my thoughts. I choose at will what I like and dislike. I must be awake to be able to control anything.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ekolis » Sun Nov 27, 2011 1:22 am UTC

Granted; after a few sleepless nights you finally conk out and monsters come out and eat you.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby madjo » Sun Nov 27, 2011 2:20 am UTC

granted, but they'll all get corrupted.

I wish for nice sunny weather
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby CorruptUser » Sun Nov 27, 2011 5:54 am UTC

Granted, there is no more rain, ever again.

I wish for leather seats for my car.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby jendral_hxr » Sun Nov 27, 2011 3:47 pm UTC

Granted: but someone stole the engine. and the wheels

I wish for Audi R8
I wish I weren't so stupid

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xkcd follower » Sun Nov 27, 2011 10:27 pm UTC

Granted, but its the car that is stripped that CorruptUser wished for.

I wish for the ability to have books read out loud to me at my own will.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby jendral_hxr » Mon Nov 28, 2011 9:53 am UTC

Granted, but then you lost the ability to understand

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby madjo » Mon Nov 28, 2011 10:09 am UTC

Granted, but now the web has moved on to something else. Websites don't use flash player anymore but another closed format, that's only supported by Windows and Mac.

I wish that the Music and Movies dinosaurs would just roll over and die and take SOPA with them in their fall. I'm sick and tired of the "but but but PIRACY!" nonsense. Sure, people are downloading, but a lot of them are also buying stuff. Besides, there is an economic downpour, despite what the black Friday figures may say.
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Randomizer » Mon Nov 28, 2011 10:46 am UTC

Granted. The dinosaur characters from The Land Before Time, Jurassic Park, and every other dinosaur-themed movie or song fall over and die, taking misspelled bars of SOAP with them. Their cleanliness (and chance of being returned from extinction) is no longer a possibility. Dinosaur-loving children around the world hate you passionately.

I wish for reliable, cheap, easy-to-use webhosting that does what I need it to do, and to know where to get it.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xkcd follower » Mon Nov 28, 2011 11:35 am UTC

granted, now you need to make a server for 1,000 people in Linux AND kernel in the next 24 hours.

I wish for my ability to understand history to be perfected.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby RollingHead » Mon Nov 28, 2011 11:34 pm UTC

Granted, but you can no longer spell.
I wish for a glass of ice tea.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xkcd follower » Tue Nov 29, 2011 12:23 am UTC

Granted, but it is missing tea and ice... enjoy your Water!!!

I wish for the game to end.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Ralith The Third » Tue Nov 29, 2011 3:18 am UTC

It ends, but quickly restarts.

I wish for panacea.
Omni.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby CorruptUser » Tue Nov 29, 2011 4:42 am UTC

Granted, a man sells you a cure-all, but it turns out to just be flavored alcohol.

I wish for Amaretto and Cognac (aka, a "French Connection"), if you know what I mean.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xkcd follower » Wed Nov 30, 2011 3:19 am UTC

Granted, now you are hooked on Heroin.

I wish for all social media sites to simply disappear, rendering us of all this "Facebook" and "twitter" junk.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Wed Nov 30, 2011 9:58 am UTC

xkcd follower wrote:Granted, now you are hooked on Heroin.

I wish for all social media sites to simply disappear, rendering us of all this "Facebook" and "twitter" junk.


Granted. They disappear with a very simple jquery effect when you least expect it. As for the rendering, you get your junk overlaid on top of them.

I wish for C and C++ to become obsolete so that nobody needs to program in them again.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby King of Frogs » Wed Nov 30, 2011 3:25 pm UTC

Granted, the interconnectedness of companies and the workforce in these networks means that their disappearance causes a massive economic crash, thousands are rendered unemployed.

I wish for a better memory.
The first one to fall asleep when the revolution comes.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xkcd follower » Wed Nov 30, 2011 8:17 pm UTC

Granted, but amnesia occurs the next day due to a falling rock. Who are you again?

I wish for a better political system then the one we have.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby King of Frogs » Wed Nov 30, 2011 9:46 pm UTC

Granted, but one of it's central tenants is based on ending war, but getting everyone to take out their anger on your genitals.

I wish for enough money to live independantly.
The first one to fall asleep when the revolution comes.
Cheese wrote:We should never talk ever again. Ever.

michaelandjimi wrote:"No, cease your sexual activities! The communists will invade!"

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xkcd follower » Thu Dec 01, 2011 11:33 am UTC

Granted. Now you can live independently in a rent-free box begging for just enough money to make you independent of any help from others.

I wish for shoeboxes to never be orange.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby jendral_hxr » Fri Dec 02, 2011 12:44 am UTC

Granted, now you got fuchsia.

I wish I know her name already--she's just damn beautiful.
I wish I weren't so stupid

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby King of Frogs » Fri Dec 02, 2011 1:13 am UTC

Granted, her name is Brian.

I wish to be able to sleep 8 hours in the space of 6.
The first one to fall asleep when the revolution comes.
Cheese wrote:We should never talk ever again. Ever.

michaelandjimi wrote:"No, cease your sexual activities! The communists will invade!"

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby blademan9999 » Fri Dec 02, 2011 1:30 am UTC

Granted, but the space time distortion that arises because of it returns the probes.
I wish I had anti-probe weapons.
http://officeofstrategicinfluence.com/spam/
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xkcd follower » Fri Dec 02, 2011 11:29 am UTC

Granted, but they defect and become pro-probe weapons why know everything about you. They begin to stalk you.


I wish my Eagle Scout project will be approved be the first council and be fully constructed before I am 18
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby madjo » Fri Dec 02, 2011 12:57 pm UTC

Granted, but the project is doomed to fail.

I wish I had something to do.
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.


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