Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

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Chrismclegless
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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Chrismclegless » Sat Jan 26, 2008 2:04 am UTC

Sirius Cybernetics Corporation employees.

None. It's left to the reader as an exercise.
Londo: Maybe it was something I said?
G'Kar: Maybe it is everything you say.

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Mr. Beck
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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Mr. Beck » Sun Jan 27, 2008 9:47 pm UTC

Easy- College math textbook authors

One to screw in the bulb, a second to smash the bulb out of the socket, and a third to whine that "they're doing it wrong"

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Zohar » Mon Jan 28, 2008 7:14 am UTC

Gallagher, his assistant and a chef in the audience.

Quite a bit, since it's covered in a thick layer of oil and anyone who tries to grab it slips.
Mighty Jalapeno: "See, Zohar agrees, and he's nice to people."
SecondTalon: "Still better looking than Jesus."

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Nexus_1101 » Tue Jan 29, 2008 4:22 pm UTC

pranksters

one, but you need to fill in forms 2b4a, 2b4c, and the blue one on the left.
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malec2b
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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby malec2b » Tue Jan 29, 2008 4:43 pm UTC

Vogons

Two, one to screw it in and another one to throw him high enough.

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Chrismclegless » Tue Jan 29, 2008 4:45 pm UTC

Dwarf gymnasts.

The number between seven and nine, it is twice four.
Londo: Maybe it was something I said?
G'Kar: Maybe it is everything you say.

How tasty is YOUR brain?

GENERATION 21: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.

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Master Gunner
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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Master Gunner » Tue Jan 29, 2008 6:29 pm UTC

Randall's Mother?

1, but he is joined by a dozen others as he breaks into song.

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Matthias » Wed Jan 30, 2008 5:40 am UTC

Members of the Lollipop Guild.

Forty-six, but most are just there for moral support.
Love may be blind, but lust has x-ray vision.
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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby malec2b » Wed Jan 30, 2008 6:20 am UTC

AA members

5, one to try to say why the lightbulb lights, one to try to understand why there is darkness to begin with, one to try to find the mathematical basis of the lightbulb, one to say the lightbulb has no purpose and one to say that the lightbulb and the other four are all figments of his imagination.

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Zohar » Wed Jan 30, 2008 7:49 am UTC

Philosophians. (is that the right word? I don't have my spellchecker handy)

None. It changes YOU!
Mighty Jalapeno: "See, Zohar agrees, and he's nice to people."
SecondTalon: "Still better looking than Jesus."

Not how I say my name

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Mikeski » Wed Jan 30, 2008 7:54 am UTC

Lolcats fans.

Four, on horseback.

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Kartoffelkopf
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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Kartoffelkopf » Wed Jan 30, 2008 8:28 am UTC

Cavaliers.

Seven, each wearing a silly hat.

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby notzeb » Wed Jan 30, 2008 8:50 am UTC

Players of the rainbow game. (Rainbow game: seven people wear seven hats, each with one of seven colors chosen independently and at random. No one can see their own hat, they all guess a color, if any of them guess the color of their own hat, they all win. From a Mathcamp invitation.)

Just two, but how are they going to fit inside the lightbulb?

This is more fun than I expected!
Zµ«V­jÕ«ZµjÖ­Zµ«VµjÕ­ZµkV­ZÕ«VµjÖ­Zµ«V­jÕ«ZµjÖ­ZÕ«VµjÕ­ZµkV­ZÕ«VµjÖ­Zµ«V­jÕ«ZµjÖ­ZÕ«VµjÕ­ZµkV­ZÕ«ZµjÖ­Zµ«V­jÕ«ZµjÖ­ZÕ«VµjÕ­Z

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Guy_At_A_Keyboard » Wed Jan 30, 2008 6:26 pm UTC

Your neighbor and his loud girlfriend.

The lightbulbs speak to me....

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby apeman5291 » Thu Jan 31, 2008 1:07 am UTC

Clairvoyants

One, but he/she waits until the last second and ends up late for work.
What you don't understand, you can make mean anything.

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby xkcd_n00bz » Thu Jan 31, 2008 3:11 am UTC

Sadly, My secretary. She must change light bulbs daily.


Fourty thousand. One to stand on stage and sing, the rest to sit in the audience and clap in the dark.
I am +20 dB hot.

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Mikeski » Thu Jan 31, 2008 5:05 am UTC

One guy on American Idol, and 39,999 people somewhere else enjoying some music.

Six, whose combined age is 6 times the average age of the 4 youngest ones.

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby notzeb » Thu Jan 31, 2008 10:43 am UTC

Sextuplets.

3: one to screw in the lightbulb
Zµ«V­jÕ«ZµjÖ­Zµ«VµjÕ­ZµkV­ZÕ«VµjÖ­Zµ«V­jÕ«ZµjÖ­ZÕ«VµjÕ­ZµkV­ZÕ«VµjÖ­Zµ«V­jÕ«ZµjÖ­ZÕ«VµjÕ­ZµkV­ZÕ«ZµjÖ­Zµ«V­jÕ«ZµjÖ­ZÕ«VµjÕ­Z

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DrStalker
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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby DrStalker » Thu Jan 31, 2008 1:26 pm UTC

Musketeers, because even though only one is needed to actually do the job they always travel in threes.

One billion and one.
.
There are two types of people in the world: 1) those that can extrapolate from incomplete data.

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Actaeus » Thu Jan 31, 2008 11:17 pm UTC

Statisticians who know not the Almighty Significant Figure.

No more than the square root (x such that the number of changers is equal to x2) of the sine of fiftONLY $9.98 FOR THE NEXT HUNDRED CHARACTERS!

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Mikeski » Fri Feb 01, 2008 4:38 am UTC

1-900-HOT-MATH operators.

It depends how long it takes.

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby zomgmouse » Fri Feb 01, 2008 8:48 am UTC

Fat slobs.

1, but it will take 20 visits, and use up all of your last 10 years' salary.
"Alf Todd," said Ukridge, soaring to an impressive burst of imagery, "has about as much chance as a one-armed blind man in a dark room trying to shove a pound of melted butter into a wild cat's left ear with a red-hot needle." P.G. Wodehouse

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Nexus_1101 » Fri Feb 01, 2008 12:36 pm UTC

contractors (of which i am one)

we don't need no stinking lightbulbs
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malec2b
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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby malec2b » Fri Feb 01, 2008 4:09 pm UTC

Banditos

2, one to screw it in and one to shun the first one for using it.

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Mikeski » Fri Feb 01, 2008 4:41 pm UTC

Fireflies.

One, but he's probably overcompensating.

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DrStalker
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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby DrStalker » Sat Feb 02, 2008 1:22 am UTC

NRA members.

24: 1 to sit in the dark and 23 to say "we also live in a world devoid of light and hope"
There are two types of people in the world: 1) those that can extrapolate from incomplete data.

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Ansain
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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Ansain » Sat Feb 02, 2008 7:24 am UTC

depressed philosophers.

7, 12, or 2 depending on which one is counting
Why put off till today what you could just as easily get done tomorrow?

I can mathematically prove that 1 equals 0!.

Parts a-x in my plan weren't that important anyways.

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby zomgmouse » Sat Feb 02, 2008 11:51 am UTC

zomgmouse wrote:1, but it will take 20 visits, and use up all of your last 10 years' salary.


I did really mean psychiatrists, but oh well...
___

People with 7, 12, or 2 fingers, respectively.

1, no 2, no 4, no 8, no 16, no 32, no 64, no 128, no 256...
"Alf Todd," said Ukridge, soaring to an impressive burst of imagery, "has about as much chance as a one-armed blind man in a dark room trying to shove a pound of melted butter into a wild cat's left ear with a red-hot needle." P.G. Wodehouse

Mikeski
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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Mikeski » Sat Feb 02, 2008 3:29 pm UTC

Backgammon players.

Pi.

(I thought part of the game was to come up with slightly non-obvious answers, not to guess the mind of the original poster?)

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Guy_At_A_Keyboard » Sat Feb 02, 2008 4:02 pm UTC

Circular Statisticians.

Two. One to change it, and one to give exaggerated praise to the previous lightbulb.

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Zohar » Sat Feb 02, 2008 4:47 pm UTC

Chell and GLaDOS, respectively.

One to call the technician, another one to talk to someone else about how hot the electrician guy is and 400 more to break their lightbulbs, hoping to get the same guy.
Mighty Jalapeno: "See, Zohar agrees, and he's nice to people."
SecondTalon: "Still better looking than Jesus."

Not how I say my name

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Chrismclegless
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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Chrismclegless » Sat Feb 02, 2008 7:32 pm UTC

Teenage girls.

3. But they all look identical.
Londo: Maybe it was something I said?
G'Kar: Maybe it is everything you say.

How tasty is YOUR brain?

GENERATION 21: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.

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zomgmouse
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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby zomgmouse » Mon Feb 04, 2008 6:23 am UTC

3-of-a kind Killbots.

One, on wheat toast, no mayonnaise, no butter, no lettuce. Now all you have to do is hold the chicken.
"Alf Todd," said Ukridge, soaring to an impressive burst of imagery, "has about as much chance as a one-armed blind man in a dark room trying to shove a pound of melted butter into a wild cat's left ear with a red-hot needle." P.G. Wodehouse

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malec2b
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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby malec2b » Mon Feb 04, 2008 6:27 am UTC

Chicken Sandwhiches with identity issues.

5. One to screw it in and 4 to play musical acompanyment.

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Chrismclegless
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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Chrismclegless » Mon Feb 04, 2008 12:34 pm UTC

Actors in 'The Sound of Music'

4, if they ever stop eating pizza.
Londo: Maybe it was something I said?
G'Kar: Maybe it is everything you say.

How tasty is YOUR brain?

GENERATION 21: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.

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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby grythyttan » Mon Feb 04, 2008 2:33 pm UTC

Renaissance artists.

Doesn't matter, the result will be a huge explosion anyways.
Joy of Cooking was far less of an achievement than Thyme Cube discovery, for I have Cubed the Spice, with 4 simultaneous flavor types in 1 plant of Earth.
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Nexus_1101
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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Nexus_1101 » Mon Feb 04, 2008 3:35 pm UTC

pyromaniacs

it was to bright in here anyway
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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby RapidConfusion » Mon Feb 04, 2008 4:18 pm UTC

Vampires

Almost, but not quite 1.

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Ansain
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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Ansain » Mon Feb 04, 2008 8:05 pm UTC

schizophrenic men with infinite personalities

Just one, but he would have saved a few hours by looking at an instruction manual.
Why put off till today what you could just as easily get done tomorrow?

I can mathematically prove that 1 equals 0!.

Parts a-x in my plan weren't that important anyways.

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Actaeus
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Re: Reverse Lightbulb Jokes

Postby Actaeus » Mon Feb 04, 2008 9:25 pm UTC

"Experts" who have been "using lightbulbs [their] whole lives", yet can't identify the filament.

Possibly an infinite number, but definitely no less than 3.42*10^87


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